I want that daddy

Today I crossed the thresh hole of a new world. So staggering it was that it moved me to what I am about to state now. Originally I had toyed with a title called MALES VALENTINE DAY. It was basically a post for the ladies letting them know that for brothers, March Madness is our Valentine’s Day. And that on he start of this day, they should get their men a bottle or a six pack and some chicken wings, as he would Lily’s or pearls on Valentine’s day. Not that I am into ovation pronounced toward ye old Vicar saint, it was an idea I could likely drop a little satire in. But then I realized there were two such days when you add the super Bowl. And women get or should each day and ergo don’t need no nother holiday for them to get shit for free.

I suspect that given my predilection of lascivious activities, I know some of my readers may have their mind in the gutter from the title alone. So now I will apologize for it contains none of he sordid deeds this mind could make into reality.

You know I have a wonderful and adorable little girl. She is the age of parallel play and plain verbal communication. Now she talks, and wont let me even take a phone call with out saying “I wanna talk.” Then she got them Patty Label lungs too.

Walking into the kitchen to fix dinner, she walked over to the Pantry with her fuzzy pink bear house shoes, sliding her feet full of echo to the pantry and pointed. I looked but couldn’t find what she desired for each time I touched something she quickly shook her head and said “no” at the same time. Frustrated she got her stool, went to the back of the cereal box and said, “I want that daddy.”

I froze. First because it was not the cereal, but the picture of the toy on h back of the box; second, because she strategically laced daddy at the end. Now she calls me daddy and poppa. Daddy is the living and walking half monkey bar half chattel that she orders around. Poppa is just some dude she recognizes when I am in photograph form. Not to mention she uses daddy all the time, like by itself, or “daddy hungry too”, “daddy let’s go”, or the ubiquitous “my daddy, daddy mine.” But this time it was “I want that daddy.”

Everyman’s fear fell into my soul. I wondered if she would be able to say them magic words in the future, forever to get what ever she wanted from me? I looked at her and caught myself. I could only deal with now. She talks a mean game, but I took advantage of her inexperience and said no. That was close, I better get ready for the future.

get just released DIRT BEHIND MY EARS; ESSAYS AND SATIRE FROM THE DIRTY today