ass-a-nation

I would like to profess to all of the beautiful and gorgeous distinctions of women of African descent in American and world wide in the Diaspora, that on behalf of all the REAL brothers up in this camp we love, lust, respect, appreciate and desire you. In particular, although we may have individual penchants for thighs, legs and other attributes that sound like they belong in a three-piece chicken snack and that the aforementioned sounds yummy, and there is nothing more appealing than a sedulous smile on a sister, I must admit that of all the features our sisters have, none can be more distinguishing than the posterior, the gluteus maximus, and the ass.

As a black man, there is no other talked about or desired visual stimulation one can have next to a full spread Thanksgiving and/or Christmas dinner than to have the privilege to walk behind, or catch in ones peripheral vision a sister with a little junk in her trunk. Even women seem to know this about us fellas seeing that almost every sister I know has a picture with the classic and ubiquitous booty sticking out pose (see several on this blog entry).

My boy Smoove and I were talking about this yesterday. He commented “a brother gone always go wild over a phat ass ass. I mean, if he had the choice between a beautiful woman that was lacking, and a not so attractive woman that was like [HE USED HIS HANDS TO DESCRIBE], the brother gone go with the fat ass ass.”

So ladies don’t be mad at me or my folk, but we have a fascination with posterior ethics and today, I just wanted to be proud to proclaim that I love this particular portion of the female physiology and proclaim that from now on today be recognized as Ass-a-nation day.

Leg Blocking

As a man, there are just two things I expect from a woman I am involved with. The first is that they place me equal to or above me in their lives and be willing to do anything for me as I would for them and most importantly, not to leg block. Cooking, well I’d like a meal a few days a week, but I can cook for myself and have yet to find a woman suitable to match my skill set in the kitchen.

For those who do not know, leg blocking is a famous wrestling technique some women master and use during the process of intercourse. This technique when used properly is as infamous as the Boston Crab, the figure-Four leg lock and the DDT all combined. I suspect its purpose is to prevent maximum penis implantation. My question is why would any women not be amenable to the reception of fat long stiffness? My answer is that only a supreme being would know? I mean am I wrong for expecting my compainion to meet and greet me to the fullest extent of her physical prowess. There is always i pillow or something near I figure that one can bite on if such is too bad to bare. But then again i was taught it was pleasing pain by some former associates of mine.

I mean isn’t it a blessing to have one‘s spine messaged from inside of their body, especially if one has the capacity to reach it. Is it a feeling of satisfaction to feel the external appendage contained in that protective sac of your mate smacking that thang? So why squeeze the thighs or please your feet between mine as if they are wedges? These are just a few personal queries for the purpose of education and maybe some entertainment purposes only. But enquiring minds would really like to know.

Falling Star

Now I don’t look at the view, but my girl does and a lot of other women I have heard about. However, being that I am a male, I cannot look at the show personally because for one, am working during that time and two, I suspect it is for women – especially stay at home moms. However recently, last night to be exact, I saw on the news that they did not renew the contract of the only sister on the show – Star Jones.

Now, I only really found out about slim (no pun intended) when she married that light skin jones. She never really appeared to reflect and/or represent the spectrum of African American women I have seen in my life for her lifestyle was a lot more glamorous and materialistic than the women I have known. Not to mention, her wealth kind of placed her out of the spectrum of normality from my perspective.

Now I have heard for a while, a few months at least that they were going to release her from the show. However, it did not come out officially until the end of June when she announced this abruptly on the television show. Her folk, Barbara Wa-Wa (Taken from Saturday Night Live) knew about this all the time but intentionally mislead her view audience by not sharing the information to the public. Instead sources reveal that she wanted to stage an even on the show at a time selected by her.

Barbara Wa-Wa also evidently knew that she wanted a change and that Rosie O'Donnell would be selected in her place. I guess that’s why Rosie started using star as the butt of many of her recent jokes.

Although I think Star brought a lot of this on herself, I hate to see the media pile on any person of African descent. In addition, I can no longer see Mrs. Walters as a Journalist for I believe she intentionally lied, meaning she knew about this for a while now. So you sisters out do what you do, and I suspect that many of you will no longer watch the view. They didn’t want yawls viewing audience anyway for if they did they would have replaced her with another sister. I guess Ms. O'Donnell is expected to replace star. But how can u place a heterosexual, slim Africa America woman with a Fat, white Dyke

why u wanna go and do that

I was talking to a friend yesterday while the basketball game was on. She indicated that she was having problems with a certain man she was dating. I was trying to pay attention to her but Detroit was loosing and I wanted them to win. She finally admitted that he was not the problem but that she was. The problem, which I didn’t consider a problem was that she was attracted to folks she saw on TV and in videos and craved them to the extent of actually trying to meet them. She told me that she had met one such person and that he propositioned her knowing that she had a man. I got of the phone and continued to think about this even after the Detroit loss. So I started to write.

At first I was gonna write today about Rush Limbaugh and some other rich folks (inclusive of the Kennedy’s) who do drugs, get caught and are slapped on the had – if that. But I decided to table that piece until another day.

It made me think of how many folks actually desired folks they saw just because they were famous or on television , video’s or movies? The strangest part was that she really loved her man but still felt that she was missing out on life since she could not be with someone famous.

Bun B said it right when he stated “movies got these folks fucked up in the mind.” Is it so bad that folks don’t respect anything about a relationship that they will proposition you knowing that you have a significant other, or are engaged or even married? And if a person decides to accept the proposition, how do they look at that person and do they think they are different such that they won’t turn around and do it again, when they are together? I just want to know what these folks be thinking. Personally, if a woman propositioned me, I would first think that if she did it once she would do it again and therefore wouldn’t be the kind of woman I would desire to date or be with. Next, I’d think that if I sacrificed my relationship that I had worked hard to maintain, I did not believe in it in the first place or that this person could never honor a relationship at all. So fellas and ladies what do u think is this fucked up or am I just an old school country boy who needs to move beyond wearing flip flops and socks and wife beaters? Or is the question of the day as T.I put it

“go and tell a nigga no wit an ass so fat
hey why u wanna go and do that love huh?....

and the relationship been faithful to a nigga so wack,

hey why u wanna go and do that love huh….?

Is this really how yall men feel? And would you women say yes?