Just a few thoughts

I am not married, but I have been. However, over the years I have come to conclude that there are things that are genderless that everybody can do if their desire is to make it last infinitely. Now I’m not trying to give advice or be Dr. Phil or Judge Judy. But here goes.

Sex is nonnegotiable. Without hesitation, it is the obligation of either partner to serve and take care of the other whenever they require such, unless existing circumstances of the medical variety presents otherwise.

Be Spontaneous, however it may manifest from having sex in a bathroom in a public restaurant to going for coffee and looking at magazines. Even a walk in the park (free) to blow a fat one or have a wine cooler is cool.

Don’t criticize or patronize. Whether it is starting an argument over a cd being put in the wrong place or him making all your problems seem simple and easy to solve, one cannot harp on petty things that make no real difference. In addition, you cannot always simplify what another say when they come to you with their problems. What may be simple to you may not be simple to them and no words may be the best words to say.

Find daycare. Don’t laugh, if you have children especially two years or younger, it is essential to find daycare or else quality time will be reduced to work which may result into petty disagreements that become interpersonal over time.

Fidelity. Just act as if your vows is to yourself as well as her men especially. Being unfaithful implies deceit and deceit is the wedge in trust. You loose trust either you forgive and move on or loose the relationship.

Show value, respect and appreciation for one another. To give one worth in action is more valuable than the words “I love you.” Meaning the goal is to look each other in the eyes and hold hands as friends for life.

Just a few thoughts from a Memphis Mac.

mindless boy sports

Be truthful, do those who program television and news broadcasts really think that I am going to be interested in the war on terror, the Pope’s remarks regarding Islam, the ramblings of a known racist — Senator George Allen of Virginia or the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son, when it is NFL Sunday, week two?

Well, I am not interested and I actually wish it were on first thing in the morning, beginning immediately after CSPAN’s “Washington Journal.” That would be perfect timing, particularly when there was no expected sighting of Tiger Woods in his traditional red shirt, kicking a$$.
In addition, my progeny like football, too. Particularly my baby girl, who at 15 months, pulls her little portable chair up, places its back against the sofa, sits down with her bottle and proceeds to look at the games with the same fervor as her brother and I do. She is certain to make a great wife one day for a real man.

So women, get off your high horses. Who cares if football is a game for boys? No matter what, regardless of our ages, we are still children at heart. I would likely look at something newsworthy on the weekends if it were of interest to me, such as the human rights disgrace in Darfur, Sudan. However, until then, be comfortable that you at least know where your man is, and be thankful for mindless boy sports.

the last 4 letters

Truth, trust, hurtThere are some things that are nonnegotiable. Most of these are esoteric, but nonetheless important and invaluable to mankind. However, I have come to learn that many of us have not accepted these esoteric concepts as being worthy of practicing, especially when it comes to being truthful and telling the truth.

It seems that many people are comfortable with being dishonest and would prefer to withhold the truth or even lie for whatever reason. If a person lies to you, they have no respect or value for you or themselves. I feel that all I have is my word, and that my words should be backed with action. In other words, if I state I will do something, I will; and if confronted on any subject, I feel obligated to tell the truth, regardless of the outcome.

No matter what you do when you interact with other people, be truthful and honest. By doing so, you can’t go wrong. The least of your problems is keeping up with your lie and your actions will leave other people with the observation that you deserve respect because of your truthfulness, despite the fact that it may hurt others. But then again, the truth hurts, and it is no coincidence that the last four letters in the word truth can be used to spell hurt; meaning it will always be better to be told a hurtful truth than to be told a comforting lie.

add it up

Over the past few decades there has been a severe decline in academic achievement in the children that have been matriculating through both our private and public school systems. This is consistent for all academic disciplines including reading, science and math. However it is math, and the curious disdain that we have for this subject in particular, that I would like to discuss.

A recent report released by the Program for International Student Assessment (PISA) has documented what we have been seeing occur all along — American students are poor at mathematics. The study was conducted over a three-year period and concluded that the United States ranked 24th out of 29 countries in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. As a state, Georgia also ranks among the lowest in average SAT score (1477) at 46 out of 50 states and remains last among all states in math.

Without math there would be no money, no calendars, nothing. Students from Finland and South Korea were the top scorers on the survey. We need to have a true understanding of the importance of learning information. Math, specifically. Sure you won’t be asked to do axiomatic set theory in the workplace (albeit I do, with regards to some forms of regression analysis). But it is still nice to know.

One day, you won’t have the skill set to make the batteries that go into the calculators we will use to do our adding, subtracting and division. What then? Oh, my fault, math is stupid and we hate it.

had a great time this weekend

judged a model contest for nu-south lemonade
my boy is the owner - good lookin Huissen border="0" />

It was at my boys house, he had fun too
And I met Charita - she say she a model
u make the call - she said shed like to kick it with me -i said cool and went and got another plate

i think lil momma here was on that diva juice - 1st runner upI was in by 1215am - even after the party

at Lawyer Milloy's House

Funkadelic is my favorite group

my list

I have been told i am a hard man to please. but i only ask for a few things and they are as follows, do I ask for too much ladies?

1] Unconditional appreciation after a hard days work
2] Occasionally surprises like dropping me off a bag lunch at work,
or having lunch with me without me asking
3] A home cooked meal at least twice a week.
4] Being on call for me all the time as I am with you
5] Letting me taste that cat when I want too,
6] equality/fairness and no double standards
7] Treat me with the respect I show and treat you.
8] iniating sex sometimes instead of saying lets do it – try arousing me first sometimes
9] oral sex without condom – that you iniate
10] letting me know honestly how you feel
11] taking showers together
12] reraining from calling me stupid and saying fuck you
13] showing me you love me as opposed to using words with out actions

is this so much, i only need pig ears and neckbones about 6 to 8 times a yr
and i left them off, as well as the hot water corn bread.

Dear momma

What have you been doing in terms of raising your daughters? Have you been able to love and appreciate them unconditionally? Have you been able to show them how to love themselves first over other things? Have you shown them what it means to be a wife and a mother? I have been contemplating these questions for sometime now. It seems as if nowadays, the example of wife and mother are scarce in the lives of our young women and girls. I know that this problem exists among men also, but this time I just want to address the mothers with daughters.

This summer, Six Flags was the spot my son wanted to occasionally chill, but each time I picked him up I noticed that almost all of the girls (ages 12 and up) dressed like tramps and tricks. Tight shorts, jeans so low they showed their panties, and most of them were wearing G-strings and thongs and were proud to show them off.

So what are their mothers teaching them? Is it that money is the route to happiness? Is it that a man’s purpose is to buy them expensive shoes and purses and spend excessive amounts of money on them void of love and respect? Is it that we teach them to appreciate their bodies more so than their minds so they can desire to be strippers, gold diggers, groupies or video dames? We need to answer these questions before appreciation of the material supercedes appreciation and adoration of one’s self. On the surface, it appears as if the priority of young women is to become familiar with the ins and outs of the entertainment industry and money in order to capitalize on a man’s potential more so than the task of developing their own potential.

Momma, what is going on? I am a man who was raised to look after women, especially mine. As a man I am compelled by the instilled responsibility. What’s desired more than a gold-digging, misguided woman is a partner, a helpmate and a woman who respects and loves her family. A woman that exemplifies the God-given grace that dwells in her and exudes a love for who people are, instead of what they have. Mothers should aspire to raise some of them.
--torrance stephens

Dogon - 1995 - 2006

RIP

homeland insecurity

The recent terrorist plot uncovered in London to blow up planes destined for the United States has proven to me that we have truly lost our minds and more important, the ability to think and reason critically. During the entire event, it seemed as if the media was more concerned with telling honest Americans about our security weaknesses and flaws and showing them what technology was being used to protect them, that they forgot we were also giving terrorists an introductory 101 class on how to blow us up.

Now don’t be quick to judge me, but I figure that the so-called terrorists (which I just prefer to call regular maniacs) are watching television and reading the newspapers as well and are taking notes. What really gets me is when they tell the public/terrorists via an undercover operation of how easy it is to get in the airport bypassing security. Then there is the ubiquitous mentioning of mundane information such as reporting that baggage and other support personnel are not screened before they are hired. Lastly, it is the way they suggest new ways for them to attack us, including mentioning how easy it is to get a bomb onto a subway train in any town.

Obviously, we have wasted all that Homeland Security money. Our ports are still vulnerable, more than 40 percent of goods imported to the United States comes through the Los Angeles and Long Beach Ports, yet our government has only spent $40 million for port security purposes while they spend that much each day on airports with no reasonable facsimile of security. So all y’all in the media, just go on and tell them how to bomb us, and we will just keep on taking our shoes off for no purpose when we go to the airport.
--torrance stephens

man on the side

One of my homeboys and I decided to go out the other night. We had a ball in the heart of Adamsville — the flat lands. I will not name the edifice but let’s just say that it starts with the initials JR. Any who, while I was there I noticed that everyone was super-friendly. Especially the women.

After we had been formally introduced to everyone that keeps the club running smoothly — especially the lady security guard with the Glock pistol on her side, we assumed seats near the deejay booth. Eventfully, after a few more hand shakes, and obvious amiable interactions, a woman approached us. My homeboy always introduces me, out of courtesy, to all of the women in the place, but I had my eye on the security person.

She was wearing practically nothing, which actually showcased more of what she was trying to conceal. All of us, including my friend cordially conversed, so when he decided to excuse himself from the conversation, Ms. Security and I continued talking. I gave her my business card when she inquired about my profession. I was really preoccupied with the deejay and the infectious music he was playing, as well as the perfectly mixed Absolut and tonic the security lady had bought for me.

When my friend came back, he whispered in my ear that we were heading to another spot. I informed my newfound lady friend of my departure while she looked me up and down and proceeded to write her number down. She said, “take my number [and] give me a call, I have a man but you can be my man on the side.”

My first thought was — Damn! So I told her that I couldn’t afford the things required to hold the title of being her man. She just looked at me and smiled. I could only wonder if this is what relationships have been reduced to. Simply a game you play with men as pawns. I mean, do women disrespect and devalue solid relationships? Naw, I refuse to believe that. It must have been the atmosphere or perhaps the drinks.