the golden rules of fools

The way I see the world as An African American is very different from the manner white folks and even our women see it. For me, trust and truthfulness are the only things I have and they are manifested in my word. If I say I am going to do something, I will do it or at least do all in my power to accomplish the task at hand. This is really consistent in the manner in which I treat people. I am a firm believer in the golden rule – do unto others as they do unto you.

With that said, I also acknowledge that in our daily interactions with people, even those that we are around all of the time, many of us fail to acknowledge this rule, which means we can not honestly look other in the face and be truthful about how we feel and what we feel. I could never for example, stay in a job if I did not like or value the work that I was doing in that job. Likewise, I could never stay or be with a person whom I know I have no liking, desire, or affinity for. I mean, why hang around someone one does not like or may even despise? This boggles my mind for I feel that a clean heart is the only type of heart that can show respect and love and value and appreciation.

However, for some of us, our personal penchant and insecurities and selfish ways prevent us from ever having a clean heart for we prefer to hide, sneak, and be dishonest and insincere about what ever we feel to those we are around most or even should care about the most. I was taught that if one gave then they would receive. But I was also taught that if there is no giving that they should not receive. As an African American man, my heart is pure and clean and I know that I have no support out in this world other than myself and my work ethic. There is no one I can depend on to do for me as I do for them I don’t expect such, but it would be nice to have such. But When I offer myself unconditionally to my work, my family, and my wife/girlfriend (if I had one), it will be for better or worse and completely. I will make time to do my job well and to love those around me the same.

For those who don’t have an open and loving heart, and who can not appreciate or notice a blessing when they have them right in front of their eyes, they never will, for they will only see the world in terms of lies, deceit, and chicanery. It is these folk we have to nurture and watch out for – the ungrateful who can never give as they receive.

Pawns of the Game

I do not know where it started, but there are some of us so insecure and filled with vile thoughts, that we will do anything to hurt others. This is something that I would never expect to happen from a god-fearing and loving person, especially a parent.

I just want to know what is it about some men and women who would use their children to inflict pain on others. Yes, if the shoe fits wear it. Truth is that many of us, especially women, often have problems in relationships and with themselves to the point that they will use children to inflict pain on the other parent. I think this problem is more prevalent with women, but the question remains, why? Why would a woman use the love that a male parent has for a child as a weapon? Does she not know that it is the child that should come first and not herself? Some even go as far as to disrupt the child’s perspective of the other parent in an effort to make this occur. Still others use their children to get back at the other parent. I would never do such and have not. But I will not ever understand it. I will always support and encourage my children to love and never disrespect their mother's. But that's just me. But Others may and this terse essay is for them.

People, please, and men too, let us just love out children completely and honestly, and let them know all they meet love them. Otherwise, we will continue to see the degradation within our communities and we will have no one to blame but ourselves. In particular, if we know the other parent is a great, wonderful and loving parent. Maybe even more loving than we do. In the final observation, a relationship and its survival is based on each person meeting the needs of the other. If they are unmet, then leave, but please leave the children out of it.

the last 4 letters

Truth, trust, hurtThere are some things that are nonnegotiable. Most of these are esoteric, but nonetheless important and invaluable to mankind. However, I have come to learn that many of us have not accepted these esoteric concepts as being worthy of practicing, especially when it comes to being truthful and telling the truth.

It seems that many people are comfortable with being dishonest and would prefer to withhold the truth or even lie for whatever reason. If a person lies to you, they have no respect or value for you or themselves. I feel that all I have is my word, and that my words should be backed with action. In other words, if I state I will do something, I will; and if confronted on any subject, I feel obligated to tell the truth, regardless of the outcome.

No matter what you do when you interact with other people, be truthful and honest. By doing so, you can’t go wrong. The least of your problems is keeping up with your lie and your actions will leave other people with the observation that you deserve respect because of your truthfulness, despite the fact that it may hurt others. But then again, the truth hurts, and it is no coincidence that the last four letters in the word truth can be used to spell hurt; meaning it will always be better to be told a hurtful truth than to be told a comforting lie.