i want the pink one

A woman told me recently, you don’t mess with a daddy’s girl. It made me smile and the simper was so warm that folk here could have burnt the sun. I was hoping she was right and in my optimism got even warmer.

Maybe that why she is the way she is. Why she reaches out for me while in her mother’s embrace, or why when she sees me gazelle like, she jumps in my arms. Or why every times she pretends her phone rings she answers “Brain cell; or sit down with her toy laptop on her legs telling me she ordering dogfood too. Yep, maybe, in the rambunctious recalcitrance she gleams, I just smile and say yes or ok.

So I guess I got the best of both world, guess my sperm work like that. First Born is my number one son. Fellas, gotta get you one of them. Second born, baby girl, fellas you gotta get you one of them too.

Especially the latter, I mean the way she crawls on me, lays her head on my shoulder when she is my arms, even how she sleeps in my lap – can u say the bomb. And I really love it when she say “naw folk, we don’t get down like that” or “nothing jones” or “that’s my song.” So fellas, I don’t know what gives. I mean love your kids, I don’t care if they momma crazy or you crazy. Nurture that spirit which has originated from your loin for love sake, and make no excuse and let no obstacle get in your way for doing such.

Cause if u true, learn to live the love in the experience of buying your baby girl cupcakes with pink icing just because she say “I want the pink ones.” I guess money and the economy aint everything. vote

The scorn of Lady Macbeth

remember muzk u hear is jones here mane, all live impromptu funktry muzk

Addendum: They done raised the price of the AJC to 75 cents. Bought one for 50 cents tuesday from the machine-dang.

It has been said that love is a many splendid thing. This can be no truer than with respect to the love a parent has for their child. But sometimes we can be so selfish that we place our desires and even misery over ourselves to the point where we could care less about the wants, needs, and desires of our children. Which means selfishness and hate can be more powerful and of value for some than love.

I heard a popular female radio commentator say on the air, that she used to tell her child that her father did not want to see them and that he did not love them. In the same sentence she said that told the child that because it made her feel better and gave her the fortitude to justify her keeping the child from seeing and bonding with her father. And the reason, because she did not like him and that their relationship did not work out. It was during the weekend of Father’s day when I heard this. At the end; she said she regretted it for as her child got older and learned, she despised her and that, she sawthe hurt she had caused "her baby."

It made me think. I mean not to use myself, but I have been told by a woman that she would take our child, and the reason she gave was that it would hurt both of us. She smiled when she said this. I ignored it saying no woman would use a child as a pawn and desire to hurt their child, using a child’s love with their father as a weapon. I must add at that time, I did fill out legitimization papers, for if such a day came I would be ready; so if I had to fill for custody, I would be prepared and it would be joint custody, for no matter how I feel about the other, her love and parental rights toward our child would be just as important and equally respected and valued in my eyes.

I often wondered how any person; any parent would deny a child the love of the other parent. It is some of the dumbest and most selfish shit I have ever heard. Up there with weapons of mass destruction and reminds of William Shakespeare’s play Macbeth.

All Lady Macbeth cared about was herself and the idea of being Queen, but at the same time, she despised her husband for his kindness as king. In her heart, he was not evil enough, as she was to be King. She even called him a coward for being just and kind and loving and stated that she had no pity and would even kill her own baby as it suckled at her breast, if she needed to please herself.

So is it true? Is there any justification for a woman to use a child to get back at a person for a failed relationship? Especially if the requirements of love and provision are provided for the child? I would suspect in some case the said woman may even be provided for by the father, but still may lack consideration for the child desire and love of that parent.

I would suggest that a person that does not has no love or concern for their child, especially if the child is not being abused or neglected. That if they did, they would desire for their child’s happiness to come first, in particular if the child had a strong bond with the father. But I also feel that women who grow up in homes with the father present would not do such, for they would have learned the value and love that a father or any parent would give under optimal circumstance. I also feel that women that do not have such in the home do not see the importance of a man in the lives of children and may even be the type to say they don’t need a man. I think that such is what is wrong with our communities and leads young women to think their value is only in their looks and sex, or worse, that they can only make a living by turning tricks or stripping in front of some rapper.

Yep, we men do neglect our fatherly responsibility at times and that’s something I have written about a lot. But not all of us. So ladies you tell me, why is it that some folks cannot live with the reality that a relationship is over, or why is it that the selfishness of an individual can over ride the love a child may have for each parent. Is scorn that much of value that, one would scar a child just to hurt another and make themselves feel good?

Afraid to Parent

It was my intention to get the following off my chest last week. However, I was blessed with the notification that my latest book came off the press, and so I went with that. But something else happened that same day that has tormented me since it occurred. The same day my book was released, I went up to my son’s school to drop him off $80.00 for some baseball cleats (they just lost their first game, 8-5, canceled to rain now they 3 –1; he stole 4 bases). While there, I had to wait. A beautiful sunny Friday in Georgia it was. I was in a good mood because I had just secured painters to do the spot I had selected for my dog store. Yet at the same time, I was kind of up set. Not because of the day, because it had started out a little chilly. So I left the house knotted in a Khaki colored Canali two piece suits with 3 buttons, a multicolor blue stripped Pink (not the color) shirt and a pair of suede open toe sandals. Meaning my feet was cold well up until 2pm. Since I know most of the Black students at his school, I walked up the step to give some dap to one of his friends who played football and basketball with him. We talked and I asked him if he had seen my son. He said no. We talked more, and he informed that he had a 3.1 GPA when I asked about his grades. A young lady next to him asked if I was looking for my son and I said yes. Using her cell phone she called someone to tell him that I was waiting for him.
Eventually I saw him walking up the side of the school with one of his folk. He followed me to the car and I gave him the loot.

As I was pulling out of my parking space in the rental I was driving, a wave of students rushed toward me. Looking ahead, since I was backing out, I saw several boys fighting. Instantly I threw that shit in park, and with door wide open, ran to intervene. I would estimate about five boys fighting. As I handled one set of three, a mother whose son plays football, baseball and basketball with my son ran to assist me, at the same time, his football coach did too. It only took us about 20 seconds to break it up. All he time I am screaming at the top of my vocal cords to all involved “This is why jails full of folk like you already, yawl ass need to be in the library. I also turned to the crowed and said yawl stupid too running to a fight if they started shooting, yawl would have been wondering why you got shot by a stray bullet.

Coach came by and thanked me. I know they were kids, and that kids will be kids, but what I could not understand was how could maybe 20 or thirty other parents who were just as closer or closer than I was did not attempt to stop the foolishness? I even so one-man rush his son in the car when it started, and another lock their door. I could tell that coach saw the same thing because we looked at each other and just shook our heads as if to say it was a shame, to both the fight and the fact no other parents attempted to help.

I don’t know if it was what I observed as a child, seeing everybody in my neighborhood act as if they were my mother or father, or all my years of coaching little league baseball and AAU basketball that made me do what I did. Regardless, I felt it was what I was supposed to do as a parent, I mean, I felt if they were all my son’s and daughters. The only good thing was I didn’t mess up my suit, or stub my toes, and more importantly, I saw my son (in picture) and his folk still at the top of the stairs. They along with a few others did not run to the stupidity.

He did come back down to the car as I was getting back in and said, “Yo pop’s, You still looking good.”

“Main, I’m just glad you aint run too see it.”

“Well I would have, cause for a minute I thought they were gone swing on you and me and all my boys would have swooped on folk.”

I laughed, rubbed his head and said “Lil daddy, as long as yawl didn’t run to watch I’m cool, ‘cause any fool can fight, but a man can run away, and if needed, break one up.”

I just don’t get it, are folks really afraid to be parents and accept the responsibility and blessing to be such, or are they afraid to honor the parental commitment to kid, all kids in general? Maybe I was wrong for sticking my nose in and breaking up the fight. But what did I have to loose, other than my divine belief that we are all responsible for our community and our kids.

PS: Shouts to lil daddy, his 9 stolen bases leads the team and tied in district for lead. Grady High School Knights 5-1.

The next generation

…and I am not speaking of star trek, I am talking about our own, and if we are to SAVE the aforementioned:

1] Stop smoking weed in front of your kids

2] Don’t curse around your kids or even worse curse at them.

3] Take that money from the clubs and bars and spend it on some piano or tap lessons or basketball

4] Turn them videos off and the radio on the morning and listen to NPR, sports talk, or suffer with the Disney radio (they good for teaching sentence structure and vocabulary).

5] If you are not working, do not put your children off with the baby sitter. Spend as much time with them as you can.

6] Stop fighting or beating on your woman (or man) in front of your children. They will suffer the most in the end. Violence is not the answer – least always.

7] Read to them all the time, and let the see you reading, especially newspapers each day.

8] When you can, sit at the table together and eat and talk

9] let them see honor, integrity and character by letting them see you live your life as such and by standing for what you believe and what is right.

i know im missing some, so all additional info is welcome, and thanks for the love folk. good lookn.

Pawns of the Game

I do not know where it started, but there are some of us so insecure and filled with vile thoughts, that we will do anything to hurt others. This is something that I would never expect to happen from a god-fearing and loving person, especially a parent.

I just want to know what is it about some men and women who would use their children to inflict pain on others. Yes, if the shoe fits wear it. Truth is that many of us, especially women, often have problems in relationships and with themselves to the point that they will use children to inflict pain on the other parent. I think this problem is more prevalent with women, but the question remains, why? Why would a woman use the love that a male parent has for a child as a weapon? Does she not know that it is the child that should come first and not herself? Some even go as far as to disrupt the child’s perspective of the other parent in an effort to make this occur. Still others use their children to get back at the other parent. I would never do such and have not. But I will not ever understand it. I will always support and encourage my children to love and never disrespect their mother's. But that's just me. But Others may and this terse essay is for them.

People, please, and men too, let us just love out children completely and honestly, and let them know all they meet love them. Otherwise, we will continue to see the degradation within our communities and we will have no one to blame but ourselves. In particular, if we know the other parent is a great, wonderful and loving parent. Maybe even more loving than we do. In the final observation, a relationship and its survival is based on each person meeting the needs of the other. If they are unmet, then leave, but please leave the children out of it.