i aint no prince charming (post # 400)

No Boring ass politics today from this diabolic mind, just a simply query. I have always wondered where the knight in shining armor, for lack of a better phrase, the “prince charming syndrome came or originated from. Sure, I know about fairy tales and Sleeping Beauty, but when did such transpose itself to real life? You never hear folk talking about Frankenstein in real life, so why this particular fairy tale? I mean it is specifically designed for women.

I know men have their dreams of the perfect mate, however, we are not raised to look for a princess charming, nor are we raised to seek the ubiquitous doctor or Lawyer for a mate; or as it is nowadays, a rapper, professional athlete or movie star.

I think this syndrom does noting for positive relationships. In fact it does the opposite, it places fictitious standards on real life such that many are blinded by ones accomplishments and material attainment more so than the character, integrity of actual substance of the man - which in all actually define a man.

Personally, I can cut the Prince charming cake. I have meet women who were more enamored with me having a PhD than the person I attempt to be. The problem most women I meet is that they thing Jones here is a regular mutha fucka. But I aint, I consider myself the truth. Many say they like a man with family values or a family man but will turn around and say that you spend too much time with your kids. Others will say they like a man who is well endowed in the manhood department, but will complain and say that one is too big. They may say the like a man with some street acumen but suggest the folk you hang with - your friends, are too dangerous. Or worse, that they like a man who can cook, but indicate that you are trying to get them fat. So what gives?

Again like I said just a simple query. If there is a woman that desires me to be her prince charming, they better go else where for I am not prince charming, I am Torrance Stephens, a man, and more importantly, a human being.

Worthless Negro

On this gloomy and inclement day in Atlanta, it has just dawned on me that that I have joined the ranks of the worthless Negro. See, I do not expect everybody to understand what I mean. Some people will never know what I am experiencing now because they have never had to provide for themselves or their family or be the single care giver of a household; and may have others to shoulder their burden by protecting them from bills and the pressure of having to provide everything.

But me, there is rent/mortgages to pay, auto bills, daycare, tuition, putting clothes on my family’s back, keeping food in their stomachs and a roof over their heads with electric, phones, gas, and the water running. True, I still have lot coming in and I am a hard worker, but more is always a plus and needed.

See, I was taught that the measure of a man was how he provided and protected his family and how he takes care of his children. It is just that as a man, the only thing I was ever afraid of was not being able to adequately provide and protect my family.

Im writing this to remove the stress of the thought of not being a good provider, although homicide is a big killer of Africa American men, stress is the biggest and there is no bigger stressor than not being able to provide, this is why a loving and supporting home and family is essential.

No I am not depressed or hopeless, in fact the opposite, resolute, resilient and hopeful for the future. However, it is a fear that I have never had to face up front. I guess this would be the time one will be able to separate his real friends fro those that call themselves his friends, or a real woman from one that would call themselves your woman. Yep, this would be the time the ones who call themselves your friends will be no where to be found, and the one who calls herself your woman will leave with the kids to get back with a former lover.

But like I said, I am resolute and I have faith, its just that I feel and know what Willie Dee of the legendary Geto Boys fame meant when in the song “My mind playing tricks on Me”, what he said “I was scareder than a mother fucka”.

The next generation

…and I am not speaking of star trek, I am talking about our own, and if we are to SAVE the aforementioned:

1] Stop smoking weed in front of your kids

2] Don’t curse around your kids or even worse curse at them.

3] Take that money from the clubs and bars and spend it on some piano or tap lessons or basketball

4] Turn them videos off and the radio on the morning and listen to NPR, sports talk, or suffer with the Disney radio (they good for teaching sentence structure and vocabulary).

5] If you are not working, do not put your children off with the baby sitter. Spend as much time with them as you can.

6] Stop fighting or beating on your woman (or man) in front of your children. They will suffer the most in the end. Violence is not the answer – least always.

7] Read to them all the time, and let the see you reading, especially newspapers each day.

8] When you can, sit at the table together and eat and talk

9] let them see honor, integrity and character by letting them see you live your life as such and by standing for what you believe and what is right.

i know im missing some, so all additional info is welcome, and thanks for the love folk. good lookn.