Afraid to Parent

It was my intention to get the following off my chest last week. However, I was blessed with the notification that my latest book came off the press, and so I went with that. But something else happened that same day that has tormented me since it occurred. The same day my book was released, I went up to my son’s school to drop him off $80.00 for some baseball cleats (they just lost their first game, 8-5, canceled to rain now they 3 –1; he stole 4 bases). While there, I had to wait. A beautiful sunny Friday in Georgia it was. I was in a good mood because I had just secured painters to do the spot I had selected for my dog store. Yet at the same time, I was kind of up set. Not because of the day, because it had started out a little chilly. So I left the house knotted in a Khaki colored Canali two piece suits with 3 buttons, a multicolor blue stripped Pink (not the color) shirt and a pair of suede open toe sandals. Meaning my feet was cold well up until 2pm. Since I know most of the Black students at his school, I walked up the step to give some dap to one of his friends who played football and basketball with him. We talked and I asked him if he had seen my son. He said no. We talked more, and he informed that he had a 3.1 GPA when I asked about his grades. A young lady next to him asked if I was looking for my son and I said yes. Using her cell phone she called someone to tell him that I was waiting for him.
Eventually I saw him walking up the side of the school with one of his folk. He followed me to the car and I gave him the loot.

As I was pulling out of my parking space in the rental I was driving, a wave of students rushed toward me. Looking ahead, since I was backing out, I saw several boys fighting. Instantly I threw that shit in park, and with door wide open, ran to intervene. I would estimate about five boys fighting. As I handled one set of three, a mother whose son plays football, baseball and basketball with my son ran to assist me, at the same time, his football coach did too. It only took us about 20 seconds to break it up. All he time I am screaming at the top of my vocal cords to all involved “This is why jails full of folk like you already, yawl ass need to be in the library. I also turned to the crowed and said yawl stupid too running to a fight if they started shooting, yawl would have been wondering why you got shot by a stray bullet.

Coach came by and thanked me. I know they were kids, and that kids will be kids, but what I could not understand was how could maybe 20 or thirty other parents who were just as closer or closer than I was did not attempt to stop the foolishness? I even so one-man rush his son in the car when it started, and another lock their door. I could tell that coach saw the same thing because we looked at each other and just shook our heads as if to say it was a shame, to both the fight and the fact no other parents attempted to help.

I don’t know if it was what I observed as a child, seeing everybody in my neighborhood act as if they were my mother or father, or all my years of coaching little league baseball and AAU basketball that made me do what I did. Regardless, I felt it was what I was supposed to do as a parent, I mean, I felt if they were all my son’s and daughters. The only good thing was I didn’t mess up my suit, or stub my toes, and more importantly, I saw my son (in picture) and his folk still at the top of the stairs. They along with a few others did not run to the stupidity.

He did come back down to the car as I was getting back in and said, “Yo pop’s, You still looking good.”

“Main, I’m just glad you aint run too see it.”

“Well I would have, cause for a minute I thought they were gone swing on you and me and all my boys would have swooped on folk.”

I laughed, rubbed his head and said “Lil daddy, as long as yawl didn’t run to watch I’m cool, ‘cause any fool can fight, but a man can run away, and if needed, break one up.”

I just don’t get it, are folks really afraid to be parents and accept the responsibility and blessing to be such, or are they afraid to honor the parental commitment to kid, all kids in general? Maybe I was wrong for sticking my nose in and breaking up the fight. But what did I have to loose, other than my divine belief that we are all responsible for our community and our kids.

PS: Shouts to lil daddy, his 9 stolen bases leads the team and tied in district for lead. Grady High School Knights 5-1.

game recognize game

Believe it or not, no politics, no foreign policy or no history today. Instead I’m going to turn my attention to male sartorial splendor. Now this may not be for everyone, but these are the essential GAMES any self-respecting male should consider with the specific regard to personal style. And this is not in any particular order and based singularly on my personal practice.

1] SCENT GAME – your scent or cologne game has to be tight. I consider mine top shelf. My preference is not to wear the regular shelf variety of cologne. It has to match both the individual spirit and dressing habits. For me, my rotation consists of 16. My favorites being Jo Malone Pomegranate, Acqua Di Colonia Melograno, Acqua Di Parma (Cary Grant’s favorite), Hanae Mori, Musgo Real No. 3, and Thierry Mugler Angel. Again in no particular order and I like hearing from women incessantly say “you smell good, what is that."

2] TIE GAME – A nice cravat is worth its weigh in gold, preferably all silk. A man at a minimum should have about 60, inclusive of Bow ties. Yep, Bow Ties. I find the best to be made by Ralph Lauren. I mean 45 bills for one aint bad, seeing that the ones I have by him are in mint condition and at least 12 years old plus. And 40 bills aint a lot, especially when you can pass a mint condition Tie down to your son.

3] JEANS – One word – Levi’s. None of that paint on the back of the pocket, I’m cool as fuck, like a hip-hop star shit. Just the classics.

4] SHOES – Now I have about 12 pair of shoes and that is more than enough not counting tennis shoes. I have four pair of Tennis shoes, but tennis show game is over rated. I have a purple and gold high top pair of Laker Magic Johnson’s Converse, a pair of the original AIs by Rebook, and two pair of addias for the tennis courts only, but the are Shell toes, All white, black and white, and white and green (in pic w me and daughter green shirt). I can’t find my Borg Didoria’s. As far as dress, Two pair of black shoes, and two pair of bucks (white and Brown hopefully by Cole Hann) are an essential. My black shoes are slip-ons, and one pair of Monk Strap. Then you need a pair of boots, maybe two, I like the Kenneth Cole Dessert Boot and the Georgia Boot Company boot (in pic w me and daughter in snow), albeit most folk like Timberland, either one will do. The remainders of my shoes are al open toe and open heel sandals. One can develop a mean sandal game by living abroad, especially in Africa. And i do have a pair of blue and gold air force ones high tp - colors of my AAU team i coach.

5] SHIRTS – I have not bought a shirt in about 10 years. I have about 80, but all you have to do is have an assortment of collars, some stripes, and solids. I send mine to the cleaners and get them folded (they come back new like in plastic), The last a long time that way and the even stamp your name in the inside collar – Dr. Stephens. Then you got to have a plethora of White Tee’s and wife beaters, a must in the dirty.

6] ASSESORIES – Every man needs a flask. I got a nice Suede flask I got for $9.00. I keep Tequila in mine, no Patron, just the real with worms. And No wallet for me, I have a passport case. I keep my passport with me daily albeit I am on my 3rd one, You can keep multiple currencies in it too. Mine used to keep Rand and Dollars and I do have one crisp 50 pound note as well. Then there is the need for belts, skins preferably and a coat or two – classic London Fog trench and a nice black wool full length. Add some leather and suede jackets, and a few Jerseys (Mine are of my favorite athletes: Kareem, Jack Sikma, Conrad Dobbler, and Penny Hardaway among others). But remember throwbacks are not dress attire.

7] WATCHES – I’m not for diamonds in m watches. In fact I have three. One my son gave me, and two, antiques, one from each Grandfather: a Wittnauer (62 yr old silver band and a Bulva 55 year old with a lizard skin band?. No Jacob the Jeweler. Again importance on being able to leave to your son.

8] GAT GAME - was told by my folks that if had use a pistol, I was too close. And although my tool of choice is the SKS, followed by the HK and M-16, every man needs good pistol. One that is easily concealable is of preference. For me, it’s the nickel plated .380. I can fit it in a inside suit coat pocket with no bulge. However, my road or travel pistol is the snub nose 357. This is what we used to call a toss-across or throw away. Never know when it may come in handy.

9] SUIT GAME _ I personally have 30 suits. But the essential things are to have them tailored. See I’m pimp size, 6’2”, 180, 40 Long. Perfect suit size for models they say. Any who. Pin stripes, and a few khaki suits, and some light grays are a god start. If you can get a few linen suits and have at least one double breasted (6-button) and one 3-piece although I have neither. All of my pants are cuffed though, 1.5 inches. And I would be remissed if I didn’t add my preferences for Jos A, Banks, Hugo Boss, and Canali. And do have a tux, mine is black, and I only wear white tie.

Now this is just a start, For me flannel shirts and thick sweaters are part of the act as well. There are more details I could share, but I do not want to give it all away, for it is as they say, “game recognize game.”