Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Just a few thoughts

I am not married, but I have been. However, over the years I have come to conclude that there are things that are genderless that everybody can do if their desire is to make it last infinitely. Now I’m not trying to give advice or be Dr. Phil or Judge Judy. But here goes.

Sex is nonnegotiable. Without hesitation, it is the obligation of either partner to serve and take care of the other whenever they require such, unless existing circumstances of the medical variety presents otherwise.

Be Spontaneous, however it may manifest from having sex in a bathroom in a public restaurant to going for coffee and looking at magazines. Even a walk in the park (free) to blow a fat one or have a wine cooler is cool.

Don’t criticize or patronize. Whether it is starting an argument over a cd being put in the wrong place or him making all your problems seem simple and easy to solve, one cannot harp on petty things that make no real difference. In addition, you cannot always simplify what another say when they come to you with their problems. What may be simple to you may not be simple to them and no words may be the best words to say.

Find daycare. Don’t laugh, if you have children especially two years or younger, it is essential to find daycare or else quality time will be reduced to work which may result into petty disagreements that become interpersonal over time.

Fidelity. Just act as if your vows is to yourself as well as her men especially. Being unfaithful implies deceit and deceit is the wedge in trust. You loose trust either you forgive and move on or loose the relationship.

Show value, respect and appreciation for one another. To give one worth in action is more valuable than the words “I love you.” Meaning the goal is to look each other in the eyes and hold hands as friends for life.

Just a few thoughts from a Memphis Mac.


Anonymous said...

I agree.
If you are having sex with more than one woman, or man. I mean physical sex where there is an excahnge of fluids, I will more than likely refuse to participate.
There are a lot of men who do not like to use condoms because they loose the sensation and felling they get when having sex.
My life and health is worth more than a man in heat for the moment.
Men will tell you anything when they are horney.
I think by now I have heard every story in the book.
I work in healthcare and I dated when I was younger and also been married.
Yes it does come down to respect.
Women look at things differently than men. Men will have sex just because they can..
I have even seen them pass a woman name around from friend to friend.
Or ask his friend to have sex with a woman he is with.
I respect myself and I find it a deep insult to deal with the thing that men think women should do in and out of a relationship.
I think maybe we should have the same expectaions that men do.

"You fuck when I WANT TO FUCK, or get the hell on.
And if you feel it is ok to fuck me in the ass, I can do the same to you, My Man.

Anonymous said...

very well said sister RDB

Ri said...

Yeah, I feel you, RDB

addae said...

you didn't say anything about friendship. it's not a given or to be assumed that because you got all the other signs of a relationship/union that you're real friends...true friends. that's when character comes into the picture.

you got to build the kind of friendship where if your ass had a stroke tonight your partner will wash your ass and get you to a doctor and cover you. and that is more than a notion! you got to build that, it's more than talk, or making good impressions or even fucking..

people have so many reasons for chasing someone and all of that but knowing how to put yourself on the line emotionally... to make a stand for that person... that's what sustains you. that's when all the other things will become icing on the cake.

the core ingredient has to be present. both people have to be emotionally available for that.

hope i didn't go on too long about this..


Brownsoul said...

All of these things seem like reasonable requests of a mate.

One of my homegirls tells me to not get married until I first know myself. At first, I wasn't sure where she was going with that thought, but as I date, I'm realizing things about myself that say a lot about what I'm looking for in a mate...mostly, what I want to be reciprocated in a relationship.

This is good stuff.

Shai said...

I feel ya with everything. The sex thing is a very sticky, no pun intended, place. Communication is key and plus if you want good sex be a good mate. When you mate is tired realize that helping lift the load and lift your mate's sex drive. JMHO.

I'm not a nice Gurl said...

ya know sometimes i think people know exactly what they want in a relationship yet they are either distracted by input from others or they tire and settle.

A few things:
Eins. Respect-for your partner and more importantly for yourself
Zwei. Honesty - If you fully understand and practice the definition of respect, this will come naturally
Drei. Know thyself, its not rocket science if you respect yourself and remain true and honest to you.. then you know who you are, where you've come from, where you goin and what you want.. dont settle uphold whats rightfully yours in everything including your relationship.. always...

To me love isnt suppose to be hard.. give it. give give give and you will receive...

one last thing... sex is ALWAYS negotiable.. thats what makes it good... communicate it... and get some.. B.E.Z

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