Saturday, September 05, 2009

i dont want to be successful

As I type, I am back home in Memphis. I haven’t written much lately and I am back because my granny is very sick, in fact don’t know how much she has left in this temporal world we term life. Just two years ago I lost my other grand mother and if you are a faithful reader of mine you would recant the post, which I called a diamond treated like glass.

I know they will never be away from me, for I live them and the words of wisdom and lessons of life in my heart daily. One of which was to never compete and that never settle to just be successful. In their eyes anyone could be successful and with hard work and confidence it was my mandate to be great. Maybe that is why I never really desired to be successful. I always wanted to be great and was inspired that I was great since I was knew high to my granny’s waist.

You see, I was blessed. I was raised in a time when things were not cars or clothes or money but how you developed and created and achieved with ones mind and work effort. It was not just enough to be successful for back then, successful folks just got theirs, moved away and never returned to their community in spirit or through life. It is a difference that is extremely noticeable today – the penchant for things ones own to define themselves as opposed as the accomplishment that leads other to achieve greatness outside of the isolation of others.

For us, it was historically our accord to be great for greatness would never be obviated from ones life the way material goods and wealth can. For wealth in heart is that of love and the joys of GOD. It is how we speak to others and listen t others as equals. It regards the vision of being a group as opposed to an individual. It is the locution of sharing as opposed to hoarding and knowing that I am no better nor worse than the next person.

So I am here in Memphis, where I was born and raised, and I am under my grand mother, bathing her, changing her gown, letting her play with my hair and hold my hand as she goes to sleep. I hope she is here for longer than the weekend, albeit she has stopped eating and my mother and her sisters think she doesn’t have to long to be with us. But I know she will always be here in my heart, and can tell by the way she hugged me and went to sleep with me in her arms last night like I was still 3 years old. I just wish Trey Songz and Drake had the type of influence I had to be great – for being successful is not enough and just wont cut it in this day and age.

34 comments:

charmingbitch said...

Love to you and your family, babe.

Sheliza said...

What a beautifully written post. May God be with your grandmother and offer the family comfort in this anguishing time. Hang in there and know that your grandmother is proud of you and you are so richly blessed. Drake and Trey...take note!

msladydeborah said...

You're in my prayers T.

You composed a beautiful post. A lot of love is inside of it.

Keli said...

I think different people define success differently...but none of it is worth anything with having the love of family (I did not say and friends because to me, my true friends are family). I pray for you and your grandmother...may he bring you peace and comfort.

Dallas Black said...

The best to you and your family.

Lovebabz said...

One of the things I love about you is your commitment and understanding of family. There are a lot of things I don't like about you but they are small and don't seem to matter much.

This has been a week of great losses to my friends and I am reminded of just how precious life is. There is never enough time to do and say all that is in our hearts. So as you are fond of saying timne is irrelevant do what needs to be done now...including showering the people you love with love...so says James Taylor

You seem to make the best of it all the time. I love the fact that you love me and I know it. I feel it. I hope you feel it back...even when I am being a bitch to you. You matter to me and I need you to know that. Even if I never buy a fucking thing in that store of yours...but I did send flowers and a clock :0 LOL! oh and other stuff you thought was well Girly Shit LOl!

I got mad love for you...please know that.

Take care of your Grandmother. YOU my friend are a jewel...a rare and beautiful jewel.

neshia said...

I WILL KEEP THE FAMILY AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN MY PRAYERS AND HANG IN THERE T

Sandra said...

My prayers to you and your family.

Take comfort in knowing that the words of wisdom and the lessons of life you learned as a child will be passed along to your children.
Greatness will continue.

The Brown Blogger said...

I pray for you and your family my brother... I hope you can gain strength from us right now as you reciprocate the love and care that your grandmother gave to you.

Keep doing in this moment and know that you can fall back on us, we got your back via support and prayer.

Mizrepresent said...

Enjoy her T, my prayers are with you and your family.

Glen Antoine Palmer said...

I'm with you man. Losing your grandmother is tough. I have no living grandparents left at all. Great blog about how not to base/define life on material possessions. Be good.

Wise said...

Peace, Blood.

Strength to you and your Grand Old Earth (as we say in my culture). I have a virtual hand upon your shoulder and the energy I send to you right now is most genuine.

The lessons she left you and your family were never in vain. Keep them close to you in this time. And stay strong throughout.

Peace,

Wise Naim Allah

SjP said...

You did your grandmother proud...praying for you...

Debbie said...

My sympathies and prayers are with you and your family as you begin to suffer this great loss.

What a gold mine of wisdom she and your other grandmother have given you, all out of love. They are truly wise women.

I'm just down the Tennessee road from you between Jackson and Nashville. We lived in Memphis for five years, hubby attended the med school at UT, I worked downtown. We were back there for the Blues festival this summer. That city has a great history of it's own.

You must write down all the stories and truths give to you by your grandmothers, so that you can pass them on to your children, then they can pass them on to their children. What an inheritance!


Deborah F. Hamilton
Right Truth
http://www.righttruth.typepad.com

neshia said...

I HOPE YOU MADE IT BACK SAFE

KevinsTeeTee said...

Torrance you are always in my prayers and even more so at this difficult time.

People always lose sight in what it means to be successful these days. Why does it have to equate to millions of dollars and a brand new maybach?

Success can be just making it through another day without being pulled over by 5-0 or just being fortunate to have gotten up this morning.

It's sad that people have forgotten how important family is and that passing on information is more valuable than anything.

Clifton said...

Grandma just turned 90 last week..

Stay strong brother.

E.M.H. said...

Nothing like being @ home and around family. I miss my grandmother and being able to take in all her wisdom and life experience. She was always so encouraging and uplifting. You, your family, and your grandmother are in my prayers. I know you are enjoying every moment with her!!!! Be blessed :-)

Pamela said...

So sorry, but glad you are able to be there for her.

Lisa C Writes said...

You are in the best place for her right now, just keep giving her you and know that all is well.
Be blessed

Sista GP said...

So often we delay showing and telling the people we love how much they mean to us. We don't know how long they (or we) will be around to do so.

Prayers to you and your family.

Regina said...

My prayers for you and your family. As long as you keep her in your heart she will always be with you. Love is something to be cherished because to many live , no too many exist without it.
Cherish every bit of love you have and uplift your family with it!
Peace & Love
Regina.

nicki nicki tembo said...

I'm a little late commenting here not for lack of concern or empathy, neva that, I just think there are times when people reach out needing only an attentive and receptive ear, feedback not always necessary. But then again I would huh?

I think that we've lost site of what success is. Reknown and fame are not always it's equal. Emerson said that "to laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the worl a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch...to know that one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded!" No? Then by every measure both you and granny are great, successful.

.:kimi:. said...

Dearest Professor,
You + your beloved are in my thoughts + prayers. It is a poignant + beautiful picture you paint of the true meaning of family. I pray my girls will learn the lessons of their elders. You know I'm doing my best. Heaven help me if I am not successful in that most important of endeavors.
You are so correct, even though our beloveds leave us...they never really leave us. I never knew either of my grandmothers...In some ways your words allowed me to see what could have been...in a different time + place...
Many blessings....
.:kimi:.

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