the pre-fuctuial agreement

In this age of harlots, infidelity, groupies and celebrity fascination, I have come to the conclusion that the legal world has not kept up. In particular when it comes to voice mail transactions, text messages and tweets between both parties’s. So here today I propose the establishment of a new legal document call the pre- fuckuial agreement.

The way I see it, if a man has any status in the form of wealth or fame, he will need to protect himself legally from the money hungry groupies that tend to amass like pigeons on a wire (did I say pigeons?). We have legal trust and wills and in the case of prior to marriage pre-nuptial agreements, but what is there for us who just want to bone and dis-own? We have nothing.

For us, I mean, many of us like to slang penis on a regular, but what grounds do we have availed to us if we one day, find ourselves in the same light as Tiger Woods. Now true he is married and it is foul to creep when one is under the union of holy matrimony. Likewise it is foul for a woman to have sex with a married man, but that is beside the point. For us regular men need to know that the wrath of a woman, when in pursuit of a free meal ticket is ravenous. So I have decided to have my lawyer work on a new legal tool call the pre-fuckuial agreement. It will be signed prior to sex and extends to the woman the premise that if she agrees to sex, she cannot keep the sperm filled condom or take it out of the garbage upon completion of sex, as well as obviates her rights to share or publicize any text messages, emails, voice mails or any other cyber communication to any third party,

Yes this should help out greatly. So before you pick up some skank, trick or woman in a club, Kroger or on Face book and desire to take her in your bed – have your pre-fuctuial agreement in hand and don’t leave home without it.

idiot idolatry

I have come to concede that it is not the H1N1 or HIV that is the scourge of American culture, but rather ignorance. And not any ignorance, but the blinded kind that is accentuated by our inundation with celebrity. And I’m not gonna hat, for the simple reason although I don’t understand why someone would want to watch a person get a moon man over the first day of NFL football, I do accept that accidents happen.

It is just strange to me that folk all up in arms when someone they see on TV or a movie screen die than they are the economy, something that actually impacts me, or stick up for a person with no home training as the obvious case with Joe Wilson or Kanye West and not even talk or assert caring about how Wall Street Corporate CEOS aint been indicted or held accountable for getting us in this economic quandary. And yea, you can quote me, “I don’t give a fuck about Bich azz Kanye West “ and I think any person who would support is 4^th grade behavior is a feculent groupie or fool and likely look at TV more than they read. I tell you this, if he took the mic from my son or daughter, he would have his teeth kicked down his throat again.

I say this just to use my professional expertise to assert that we have become a nation of idiots as a result of our incessant Idolatry. We have lost our way, we move from Martin King Jr. to getting a black man in the office of the Presidency, to just being happy that he is there and feeling that we do not need to struggle anymore as if we have succeeded. We have not and some folks inability to care is worse than the actually commitment of the crime for more times than not, they will be the first to complain without being informed. Such saddens me. To me Hank Greenberg needs to be under the jail and even worse that folk wont know who he is but know about dirty dance dude who died, how many songs on Jay – Z new album and Kayne West bich azz antic on a movie awards show.

So Yawl can say what yawl want about me. I don’t know or care about none of these folks don’t know like or as if I know them. In fact the only celebrities I know are my kids and my family. If yawl were about anything you would be talking about the ones you love more than these other folk even Michael Jackson. That is just really real from folk here jones.

The new plastic surgery

The only solace that I have today is that there are no more number one seeds left in the NCAA tournament and that Duke was the first number one seed to get bounced. With that said, it was a long weekend, and one in which a few of my friends figured getting a few drinks away from the tube would be therapeutic, especially since all of our teams lost.

While beveraging, I noticed an interesting phenomena, or what I thought was interesting. In fact it could have been something that has been going on for a long time but rather I was too oblivious to notice it. There was a fellow on the adjacent side of me. He would move from bar stool to bar stool, and from table to table. It appeared as if he did the same thing each time, for he only approached women. On two of these occasions I saw him lean over to the party, say something and smile, and after that he would go in his pocket and flash two big wads of money. He did it in such a way to say “I have money, but I want to pull it out as if to act like I don’t think or want you to notice it, but really I do.

Eventually before the night was over, he had collected quite a bevy of women, at leas four or five, for himself, one of his boys and continued to entertain. Often keeping the money in his hand as he talked loud requesting the services of the waitress. Now being somewhat perspicacious observer of human tendencies as I give my credit for, it dawned on me that what he was doing was like plastic surgery – that the money made him feel good and as a result enhanced his looks as well as the way the ladies around him saw him.

I guess for folks like myself, who rarely even consider considering cosmetic or plastic surgery as a viable way to alter ones looks for the purpose of facial enhancement, can take another route now – money. Is it really true that money can make a person look better? And if that is the case, what does it say about us as people? Does it speak that our desire for material and things is more important than our desire for self-determination or personal betterment? I only ask because if I can, I will attempt to describe him. He was wearing an oversize Polo shirt with a large white tee under it with Averix Jeans. There was also a hint of glisten from his mouth but I could not tell if it was gold, platinum or the ubiquitous yellow teeth syndrome providing the shine. He head was the size of an under inflated volleyball and had a faced that resembled a cross between Dennis Rodman (without the hair color) and Sam Cassell (with hair). I could not discern anything about his personality, but what I could detect that it seems as if he made no head room in terms of conversation until he flashed his loot.

I figured that this was just a minor point of order when one has consumed three Bombay and tonics to look at those around them and taking notes. So when someone tells you that we as people don’t even or rarely consider plastic surgery, correct the, We do, we just don’t go under the knife as much with the exception of the super wealthy and Hollywood elite. Nope, for us, it seems that a stack of loot will do a person fine, even if they are but fuck ugly and have plaque on their teeth.