Black Folk and Obama: Is This You?

Satire: Baracka Flacka Flame

PLEASE NOTE THE mlk JR quote at top on right

You a Tea Bagger if....

I Before E except after C: This is their mantra. They hate Islam and immigration, except that is after colored Folks.

They believe that if their children , in particular daughters, swim in a pool with men they will certainly get pregnant.

They actually only watch one television station - Fox, but they both think every thing on it from Football on Sunday to Glee is actually NEWS and fact taken from Revelations - Fox News Most Trusted Channel In News.

You applaud the assertion that Obama is a Muslim, non-christian, off the main Land born Kenyan, yet find it inaccurate and offensive when you call Christine O'donnell an tax cheating, masturbation crazed warlock apprentice.

The father, the son and the holy ghost are code words for David Duke, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh

You believe the Sermon on the Mount was preached by Rev. Jerry Falwell and not Jesus.

You believe only racists, homophobes, Nazis, polygamists, rednecks and Republicans are the only real Americans

You believed that Sarah Palin actually can see Russia from her front porch or that she has even read anything written by Shakespeare or anything other than what someone writes on the palm of her hand for her.

You have someone in your family that fly's the rebel flag and/or lives in a trailer park.

You believe the sun revolves around the Earth.

The Pre-Fuctual agreement

In this age of harlots, infidelity, groupies and celebrity fascination, I have come to the conclusion that the legal world has not kept up. In particular when it comes to voice mail transactions, text messages and tweets between both parties’s. So here today I propose the establishment of a new legal document call the pre-fuctual agreement.

The way I see it, if a man has any status in the form of wealth or fame, he will need to protect himself legally from the money hungry groupies that tend to amass like pigeons on a wire (did I say pigeons?). We have legal trust and wills and in the case of prior to marriage pre-nuptial agreements, but what is there for us who just want to bone and dis-own? We have nothing.

For us, I mean, many of us like to slang penis on a regular, but what grounds do we have availed to us if we one day, find ourselves in the same light as Tiger Woods. Now true he is married and it is foul to creep when one is under the union of holy matrimony. Likewise it is foul for a woman to have sex with a married man, but that is beside the point. For us regular men need to know that the wrath of a woman, when in pursuit of a free meal ticket is ravenous. So I have decided to have my lawyer work on a new legal tool call the pre-fuckuial agreement. It will be signed prior to sex and extends to the woman the premise that if she agrees to sex, she cannot keep the sperm filled condom or take it out of the garbage upon completion of sex, as well as obviates her rights to share or publicize any text messages, emails, voice mails or any other cyber communication to any third party,

Yes this should help out greatly. So before you pick up some skank, trick or woman in a club, Kroger or on Face book and desire to take her in your bed – have your pre-fuctuial agreement in hand and don’t leave home without it

the pre-fuctuial agreement

In this age of harlots, infidelity, groupies and celebrity fascination, I have come to the conclusion that the legal world has not kept up. In particular when it comes to voice mail transactions, text messages and tweets between both parties’s. So here today I propose the establishment of a new legal document call the pre- fuckuial agreement.

The way I see it, if a man has any status in the form of wealth or fame, he will need to protect himself legally from the money hungry groupies that tend to amass like pigeons on a wire (did I say pigeons?). We have legal trust and wills and in the case of prior to marriage pre-nuptial agreements, but what is there for us who just want to bone and dis-own? We have nothing.

For us, I mean, many of us like to slang penis on a regular, but what grounds do we have availed to us if we one day, find ourselves in the same light as Tiger Woods. Now true he is married and it is foul to creep when one is under the union of holy matrimony. Likewise it is foul for a woman to have sex with a married man, but that is beside the point. For us regular men need to know that the wrath of a woman, when in pursuit of a free meal ticket is ravenous. So I have decided to have my lawyer work on a new legal tool call the pre-fuckuial agreement. It will be signed prior to sex and extends to the woman the premise that if she agrees to sex, she cannot keep the sperm filled condom or take it out of the garbage upon completion of sex, as well as obviates her rights to share or publicize any text messages, emails, voice mails or any other cyber communication to any third party,

Yes this should help out greatly. So before you pick up some skank, trick or woman in a club, Kroger or on Face book and desire to take her in your bed – have your pre-fuctuial agreement in hand and don’t leave home without it.

Thought Amnesty - 10-9-09

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Slim Thug Feels the Recession
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

free health care for all

Twack Head

A long time ago I got a clandestine copy of a book out of print called the HAND BOOK OF CHEMICAL AND BIOLOGICAL WARFARE. The Book had been out of print some while since I saw it and in fact was outlawed. The copy I have is a photocopied version and it details all of the secret experiments of the military and intelligence branches of the government. One section I recant vividly were the experiments on mind control.

Based on this history it would not surprise me that the former had some part in creating the most recent mind altering drug – twitter. Yes I would like to assert that twitter may be a military creation for the purpose of serf mind control. Yes I would like to advance that twitter is addictive and that its users, not all but most, exhibit the same behaviors as substance abusers.

There are several occurrences that I have noticed, not including the manner in which hash mark trends are established. The first is that there seems to be a strange phenomenon of folks following folks they don’t know, namely celebrities and musicians. Unlike most, I follow all folk on twitter instead of the folks i follow and chk my at replies every now and then. You can find some great links and info that way. However, I personally don’t follow them, nor folk that don’t evince the home training of speaking when spoken too. In fact I have a 72 hour grace period before I delete folks I speak to who don’t speak back. This means that there is also a large number of so-called groupies on twitter – men and women who follow and speak to these people as if they actually have contact. Chances are if women, and scantly dressed, they will have a better chance of getting a response from a well known celebrity than a male.

I originally got on to meet fellow bloggers and to micro-blog my post. Now I seem to speak to folk and make my self laugh by making others laugh. I have met bloggers but I have met only one fellow scientist and just a few lawyers, none of which are African American males. Seems that the males I meet are all want to be rappers, producers and Dj’s. As if that is all we can or desire to be. Now its nothing wrong with that, however incessant twits about the beats they make and how much money they have can be annoying. I mean I could listen to 97.5 for mind numbing nonsense. Now its cool to promote shows and other events, for I try to push my writings and books every time I get. But I admit I am a lame and not addicted. I have just as much fun changing my avatar as tweeting and don’t have twitter on my blackberry as most do. Nor do I use a twitter platform to be a more effective tweet and don’t even go online when I’m home.

I have even noticed that folks say twitter is dull, or boring or lame at times in the same manner they would say some weed was bunk or wack. But they continue to tweet as they would smoke that blunt of wack weed. Just like the way mindless birds in a flock communicate by tweets - which this application is named after off. So my fellow tweeps, I say take control for if you aint know, twitter the new crack cause more folk on twitter than smoking them rocks. Besides you don’t want to be known as a twack head.

Perez Hilton is engaged to Mark Sanford

Now if you read me on the regular you know I have a penchant for satire. In addition, if you happen to follow me on twitter, you would have noticed last week and I admit that I initiated a #unfollowperezhilton trend. Also because he is neither Latino (Cuba is in the Caribbean) nor a hotel; because his momma so nasty she pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh; because he tints his hair with Paas Easter egg dye; and lastly because he doesn’t eat pu##y.

One which I am ashamed to admit I forgot to mention was because he is engaged to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Yes this is not slander, it is tru. They are a perfect match for they have provided me with the real definition of dumb fcks. They have completely redefined it. . With respect to Perez, I found it funny that he would call a man a faggot and get mad and cry when said person or an associate would drop a two piece dark meat snack on his head. And of the dear Governor, well what person in his capacity would think they could disappear for five days and no one would miss him being gone.

It was funny to me that when Jones got back from Argentina, that he confessed to 8 years of banging a-broad (intended-lmbao)when confronted by reporters in Atlanta, he mentioned the name of State Senator Tom Davis as much as he mentioned his wife. Don’t know what he was thinking but I will give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he did think that the Appalachian Trail was in Argentina, or even that they were the same thing after all they are both proper nouns of locations that start with the letter A.

Now some may not find this funny but I do, and feel obligated like an intercellular anaerobe to break that Perez and Mark are engaged. They tried to hide it but I broke the story. I mean I remember 10 years ago when the Holier than thou governor rode bill Clinton on his head escapades like a surf board, as well remember how Perez rode Miss California. Just come out the closet Mr. Governor, and Perez, you too, for we all know a real woman can fight.

How u know if u an Obama Groupie

Ok, we just did a first as far as I can recall, count down the first 100 days of a standing president in office in the form of a formal press conference. The last time I saw count downs like this were for a space shuttle flight. Now Hats off to the President, from where I stand he has received a range of grades personally from an A+ to peace relations with the Muslim world and Health Care to a D- with respect to the economy and Pakistan.

With that said, I want to add how I am some what disturbed by the blind allegiance people give to anyone. In the African American community alone, we have a big problem with this and have labeled such folks as groupies, whether one follows Super head, Lil Wayne and yes, even President Obama. So with out further hesitation, my top reasons you know if you are an Obama Groupie.

• You accept without question all that the President proposes.

• You argue vehemently with anyone that disagrees with an approach or policy the President proffers even when one has not read the policy for themselves, and worse

• His picture hangs on the wall next to Jesus Christ in the front room of your house.

• You still have a campaign sign or bumper sticker on your car reading Obama Biden.

• It is sacrilegious for any one to criticize a suggested approach offered by the President and that those who do in your eyes, will suffer eternal damnation in hell.

• If someone’s disagrees with a particular policy, you are likely to question their blackness (just because i dont agree with giving banks that are gonna fail billions dont mean i am not as black as thou LOL).

• You feel as if the policies he proposes are written by the president himself, even on Swine flu, health care and economics, when in fact experts other than the president write these positions.

• You get mad and fuss at idiots like Sean Hanity, Rush Limbaugh and others when we already know that these lames don’t deserve our objective attention for they just plane ole hatters and sore losers (they wouldn't be down with him if he got the GOP a zillion new members).

• You take the time to read the GQ, or Vanity Fair, or Essence magazines cover stories of the first family are in but wont read his budget plain of recovery act.

• Last but not least you will not find this post funny,. wont laugh and get mad.
  

Now this is just a little fun to me, but on the real, as I say we must be critical of the office holder not the man, especially if we want him to succeed – it aint stop with your vote and remember that. Good Day

i am all-mi-T

If I were god……………………….all women would have and be required to wear a cat woman suit

If I were god………………………….instead of horns, all cars would have phasers so when we would blow our horns, instead of honk at them, we would Blow a car up and drive through them as if in deep space

If I were god ……………………………….IRS would mean internal reffa (weed) service.

If I were god…………………………………..Memphis would win NCAA each year in basketball, U Tenn. would win football, and can’t forget them lady vols

If I were God -----------------------------------------Tofu would not exist and pork would replace it and all vegetarians with Canines and incisors for teeth would be banished from the planet earth

If I were god …………………………………my di** wouldn’t stay hard after I came.

If I were god……………………………………………duels would happen each day in the congress and senate.

If I were god……………………………….throat would be something all women could do.

If I were god……………………………………………there would be no need for prisons and they would not exist.

If I were god……………………………………Hip hop music would have lyrics that spoke of history and particle physics

What am I saying; I am ALL-mI-T.

date rape

Point of order: 1] A shame when folks talk on they cell phone and drive; 2] the recession is really hard on some folks, and 3] The title is not making fun or taking lightly the seriousness of date rape.

Some of my family (the women) have insisted that as a single parent, and given my penchant for women and self asserted standards for what I find is exemplary of women, that I should date. Now on the surface, being a single parent of two is not an impediment, albeit having a son that plays all three high school sports and a three year old grown woman are my priority and make it difficult to date, it is not impossible. Especially seeing that we are out the house at 645 each morning and at the shop by 730 and do not leave until 8pm – then usually on our way to one of my son’s baseball, football or basketball games.

I really love it, although it can be tiresome especially since we eat breakfast at the table each morning and night, no matter what time we get home. But I took my cousin up on the offer and this is how it went, and why I don’t like going on dates. For the record we will call the culprit Lil momma. Well lil momma called and asked me to go and see Seal with here. She said it wasn’t a date, and that her sister suggested that she should ask me to go with them to the concert. So I said yes. Now when I ask a woman on a date, I do the mandatory date things. I pick her up; I pay for everything, and the entire nine. If I ask a woman out best believe I will be taking her out and won’t expect here to do anything. I will even ask up front if there will be a problem with the time and accommodate to make things amenable to such.

Now I guess it is different for women. For lil momma, on the eve before the date, called and told me she wanted me to come and pick her up – yep drive, and check this, at 630pm (an hour and a half before I close my shop). But I was cool, I over looked the fact that for this date I would have to stop making money. But then came the mission creep. After this she wanted me to come and get here when at first she said I would not have to drive. Next she asked if would get some wine and some food since it was at an outdoor concert hall popular in Atlanta where one can bring their there own food and beverage.

So after putting in work like I asked her to go out on a date, we finally get to the joint. There I come to find out the folk she said were going to be there were not and it ended up being me and her, and worse Seal. Now as I looked around, the place was crowed but not packed, and it appeared as if she and I were two of the eleventeen only black folks there. And she was having a blast albeit it seemed to me he was singing songs by Al Green, James Brown, Sam Cook and some more folks. Didn’t sing none of his songs until the end of the show when he came back for an encore – he did rock them though. And all the while all the white folks were dancing and sing all the words to HIS songs as if he was Prince or George Clinton.

I took her home as soon as I could. She did buy me a bottle of Tequila, but that was beside the point. I hope she aint think she was getting some – not at all. I would have preferred to been at home, childless dranking by my lonesome looking at the fight. Besides I done seen seals before at Sea world and Marine land when I was growing up. I was grateful, but just one reason why I don’t date or go out on dates, Id prefer to cook, sit at home, look at the stars, converse and maybe plane ole bone. This was no date, but it sure was date rape in the form of mission creep.

Thought Amnesty (4.16.09)

Hanity: Our guess tonight are Congressman Joe Willie Wop and Dr. Torrance Stephens, of the blog Raw Dawg Buffalo. Let us start with you congressmen, what do you think these people are trying to say?

Congressman: They are telling the government that they are out of touch with the people. What the government doesn’t understand is that it is not their money.

Jones Here: Well Congressman, you are one of them, you in DC and I pay your salary. You sound disingenuous

Hanity: Well that aside Dr. Stephens, you are a reasonable man, My Grand father came here from Ireland, and I’m certain he could not believe or realize that one day his children would be spending all of their money for the sake of corrupt Wall street Bankers

Jones Here: I agree, but you must admit that Obama and Bush both did this. To blame one and not the other borders on stupidity at best and bich-azzedness at worse. And you speak of fair and balanced. [Looks over at Congressman]…Why aint you talking?

Hanity: You are wrong, my grandfather came for a better life and freedom and liberty and not excessive taxation.

Jones Here: I will give you that but my folk, unlike you grandfather, did not have the choice to come here and were slaves that likely gave your grandfather wealth. Your freedom and liberty historically for me is my slavery and servitude without representation.

Hanity: Point well taken but that is not the point.

Jones Here: excuse me, you brought it up folk, not me, besides, if you aint looked around this is not representative of America, I am the only one here of my race and ethnicity. You speak as if Obama made the 600o thousand pages of tax code did he?

Hanity: That’s besides the issue.

Jones Here: It is it is not Just Obama dude – it’s the Senate and Congress. I mean you a millionaire, im poor, you aint the common man folk.

Hanity: That’s not entirely true sir, America is a land of opportunity for all, is it not?

Jones Here: In some fashion, but seeing that I’ve been here, family wise for 400 plus years and still trying to come up.

Hanity: Now sir that is racist if I have ever heard such?

Congressman: It certainly is?

Jones Here: I will give you that slavery was based on race – but again, you changing the subject. I did not hear you say the same about Bush 43 when he made up Tarp out of thin air; And as I said I disagree with the economic policy of the President, but not the man. You talk about him so much I think you got a man crush, do you fondle pages too.

Hanity: Cut the mic. We will be back after this commercial break.

Addendum: Support my publication fund.

Why u lost your man

Point of order: This post is not about being dumped by a man, its about a woman or women who break up with a man and want to get back with them.

Okay, was gonna beat up Geither and his droogs today, but I digress. My folk called me and said she was up set, which is the impetus for this post. She said she asked her former man, ex, lover or whatever the dog tag was if they could work it out, you know get back together. Jones said no. I told her I agreed with him. She had indicated that he was always there for here and never lied or did anything to hurt or, or hit her.

Now this aint about the scum bag, wanna be thug fuck boys who don’t know to treat a woman like their daughter or mother, but regarding the men that represent as men. The men that provide, pay bills, pay for your car, put a rang on your finger and keep a roof over your head if they needed to and food in your stomach – yep we do exist folk. This is regarding the men who help their kids with home work and provide and take care of them without reservation. So if folk you lost wasn’t like that, well sorry – that wasn’t a man and herein could lay the problem. But that aside.

See many times, it is on you. You need to ask yourself what have you done for him. And I know many will say I am not in a position to do, as the man does, but that is beside the point. Ask yourself what can you do that is within your power. Many things men desire don’t cost money: dependability, being their when he may want or need you (the are different)

So some advice:

1] When something happens or go wrong, don’t always blame him. For some women this can become as ritualistic as cannibals in the caucuses. This means that you will all was blame before you evaluate – a def turn off to am real mutha fuca who doing what he say and walking the talk.

2] Remember that a man has needs and desires. So if yawl fucking and all of a sudden you obviate pussy privileges, don’t get mad cause folk don’t wanna kick it with you. We perceive such as a game – and tricks as games are for kids, we will get ghost and find a real woman. And don’t sleep it aint about the sex. Because if you started out not giving folk none, he wouldn’t trip. But changing the rules after half time is foul.

3] If you want folk back be real and true, admit your iniquities and most of all don’t WHINE or CRY. That’s what kids do. That’s the quickest way for a real jones to get ghost. We desire women. True women cry, but not because they can’t have their way – be with this particular dude, which that is. We look at crying as saying “damn he was good man, and I don’t want nobody but me to have him.” The is the essence and definition of selfish and most real folk don’t get down .like that. Not to mention, folk, if he gave up women to be with you, by this time he fucking a corpus of sum odd women – who don’t trip. Likely cause they had a real man and they miss him and have did some soul searching to say a good man in my bed, who makes me smile and feel like a woman is better than no man or a bich as n I double G a.

4] Do a self evaluation and write down the ten worse things you ever did to him over time. I’m certain that many could proffer a list over ten. When you do weight it against the likely bich shit you complained about to objectively evaluate the situation. Afterward ask yourself, if you sincerely apologized or attempted to for what you did. Real folk can see through pomp and circumstance and won’t tolerate and/or fall for the okie doke, for moon walking is for Usher and Michael Jackson. If your list is super foul chalk up your loses and look at it as if you were fishing – the one that got away. Chance if it is that foul you aint deserve folk and can’t be mad for folk feeling that you didn’t.

Now I could go on for days for I had a prior relationship with a woman and I wrote about it here. She keep asking or saying the aforementioned. But as my daughter would say – poppa don’t get down like that. That’s why you lost your man. Guess that’s why they say you don’t miss something until its gone. LMBAO

Monkey see, monkey do

Is it possible for any sound logical mind to hope with any success to guide crowds by the aid of reasonable counsels and arguments, when any objection or contradiction, senseless though it may be, can be made and when such objection may find more favor with the people, whose powers of reasoning are superficial? Men in masses and the men of the masses, being guided solely by petty passions, paltry beliefs, traditions and sentimental theorems, fall a prey to party dissension, which hinders any kind of agreement even on the basis of a perfectly reasonable argument. Every resolution of a crowd depends upon a chance or packed majority, which, in its ignorance of political secrets, puts forth some ridiculous resolution that lays in the administration a seed of anarchy.

The aforementioned quote is supposedly from a book by the Learned elders of Zion. Now I did not want to waste my limited prowess on the subject of a cartoon, but I will. It seems to me that as a people, even as a nation many of us have our priorities all backwards.

I’m sorry if a cartoon of a monkey being shot, even if it alludes too, or is about The President of our United States doesn’t offend me. But It does not and I would be a coward or remiss if I did not express how I feel. I am not a follower, I am a free thinker, and as such, I can respect the opinions of others, but I can not respect folks being intolerant of the views of others with such vehemence that we get stuck on words or images. The truth is it did not offend me, I read the stimulus bill and I know that the folks shooting the gun were not whites, but the GOP (shooting holes into the stimulus plan.) The Chimp was not the President it was the STIMULUS plan, a plan that only a fool will think that the President wrote word for word. Second. If the cartoon did not exist or was never published, it is as if folks think that the same thoughts by the same people would not exist? I wish the sheepeople (thanks Buleman) would pull they head out of their ass. Me I see more important things to address than a cartoon: HIV and CVD rates in my community, massive illiteracy and even the rate at which folks that look like me are incarcerated. Bet you by golly wow that folks in the federal and state prisons think that massive incarceration (theirs) is more important and deserves as much if not more attention than what we as a collective are giving to a cartoon. Shit, draw your own cartoon – use McCain, Bush or who ever and if it is funny and a parody I will laugh. For real though.

This aint about what we know – yes racism exist in America and if one needs a cartoon to show them that, they have been lost long before this. I bet half the folk who upset, if not more, aint read the stimulus bill, let alone picked up, read or subscribe to the New York Post. Truth is that for some of us, it is easier for us to fuss, point fingers and blame than to put in work and act - sad aint it folk?

As I have quoted on Twitter,” Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.” - Sun Tzu. I am the victor for ignoring what is not me. I am not a monkey and don’t see myself as such. Now if the monkey was hanging from a tree with a noose around its neck, then I would concur limited anger for a noose would not be funny to me based on our history of lynching folk like me up in this camp. But it wasn’t.

We don’t say a word about Mr. Robert Stanford(who gave 31K to Obama and 28K to McCain) taking $9.2 Billion from Latino’s and African American poor people. Nope, we don’t say shit about that but we will a cartoon. When I am in Africa fighting the spread of disease regardless of parasitic or infectious, I am many times the only person of my color doing so. When I am in the PTA at my children’s school, I am the only man of my color doing so and has been as such for years, when I am in prisons attempting to keep folk that look like me from going back to prison, I am the only one that is doing so.

So peel that banana and ask yourself who is the real monkey, cause some have fallen from the bait. And as we know bait is merely a distraction from the really real. Fish take it because it is a lure and not the real food they require for daily sustenance. So yawl can **** a phalus mane, cause folk here don’t get down like that and will never allow himself to fall for the okie doke. And just because you did, don’t get emotional because I select not to bite. If I am a fish, I’d rather see you get pulled out of the water and stuffed on a wall or placed on someone’s grill. Not me mane.

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood

Wanted to have some fun today, so I regressed back to a time in my childhood after school when I rush home to look at Mr. Roger’s neighborhood, before I go and spend the rest of my time before dinner outside playing. Mr. Rogers was a cool cat. What I liked most about was that it was he who introduced me to the concept of pretend, or what he called make-believe. True, I did pretend and make believe before that, like when I was in trouble and would make believe I wasn’t, or would pretend that if I was, I could sleep it off. But he used to make believe we could go to a place just by riding a toy trolley. So in honor of my beloved satire, I’m finna pretend that I am taking Trolley and that when I get off I will be President of the United States. I am also gonna pretend that I am holding a press conference, here goes.

VOICE: Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States and His Press Secretary: Roulac.

PRESS SECRETARY: Good morning, as you know, the President has dramatic changes planned for the next four years. I will keep it brief; I just want to say that his first forms of legislation were penned last night and signed into law in the form of executive orders. I will read them. Executive order 150000 -Tell it like itis.

WHEREAS telecommunications is vital to the security and welfare of this Nation and to the conduct of its foreign affairs;

WHEREAS the radio spectrum is a critical natural resource which requires elective, efficient and prudent administration in the national interest;

NOW, THEREFORE, as President of the United States and Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces of the United States, and by virtue of the authority vested in me hereby established that all news commentators have to have their political affiliation on screen each time they speak; in addition, if they feel like it they can curse on air without reprimand.

The second is Executive Order 150001- We don’t get down like that. In summary, we have reinstated the rules of duels to settle all political disagreement in the house and senate. You all have received copies of these two Eos in your briefing packages. Now we will open the floor to questions. Yes, Bob.

BOB: We know that the president has not named a NSA director as of yet, any names and what’s the hold up?

PRESIDENT: Let me take that folk. I have decided that I will serve as NSA director and President. I feel that I will save the tax payer money as well as would be the best person for the job.

PRES SECRETARY: Yeas, Joan.

JOAN: We have heard reports that have been on the phone with top executives of Wall Street banks, what was the nature of those discussions?

PRESS SECRETARY: Well the president feels strongly that a lot of these people, albeit not criminals, are crooked. They requested an additional $200 billion in funds for support. I will read the presidents response to their request. “Suck my mother funkn dick.” Next question. Yes, in the back. Your name?

RICHARD: We have been told that the President is planning a trip to Iran. What is the nature of this trip, and does he plan to engage in direct talks with the current president of Iran?

PRESS SECRETARY: Well the President has requested that Iran stop all nuclear activities and allow a team of multi-national inspectors in to examine all nuclear facilities. However the President of Iran rejected this request, so the president challenged him to a chess match and a boxing match to settle all differences.

RICHARD: This is so unorthodox, isn’t this proposition risky?”

PRESIDENT: Not really, but I understand your concern. So I will ask for 25 good American to fly on Air force one with me to have my back. And albeit it is possible that he can whoop my azz, I don’t believe it. So we as gentlemen have decided to handle this in the old squared circle.

PRESS SECRETARY: This concludes today’s briefing – good day.

Yep, that would be how I would run this camp. Long Live satire.

riddle me this #9

1] Is it me or does Gov. Blagovitch look like a cabbage patch doll?

2] If President Obama would say something to all of the strippers, would he say “thanks for supporting me at the Poles?”

3] If Jason of the Halloween Movie legacy drowned as a child, how can he have a zillion movies after his death that folks pay to go see?

4] If they let alcoholics charge or convict folks with DUIs should a person get mad, especially if they let a person who is a know tax evader, Tim Geithner run the secretary of Treasury? Should he get mad if we decide not to?

5] How can President Obama propose jobs in the manufacturing sector, if America has basically no manufacturing base?

6] Speaking of the former Governor of the State of Illinois, wonder what a Television show, hosted by He and Sarah Palin world be call, and would you watch?

7] Why couldn’t my start up business be selling HDTV converter boxes?

Have a great weekend. Back to what i do best Monday.

Universal Nincompoops

Wanted to thank all yawl for the kind words and support via last post. Now back to our regular scheduled programming. I love to make fun of stuff; I mean Satire is in my blood. I have always looked to the works of folk like Miguel de Cervantes and the greatest satirist of all from my purview – Voltaire. I even like some of the modern cats including but not limited to Dave Chappelle, Aaron McGruder , Jon Stewart, and Mel Brooks and don’t add SouthPark.

Through satire, me as a writer, is in a position to holds prevailing vices up to ridicule via the employment of wit and humor such to criticize any institution or individual – hopefully in an attempt that they might be improved. However, it appears that even satire is not safe from the fangs of political correctness and the new world order.

The United Nations committee has passed a “defamation of religions” resolution that seems to over ride the significance of free speech and the freedom of expression. For some reason, it seems that the UN doesn’t see that such expression is a right and freedom connected directly with individual thought, conscience and belief, and seems to miss the point that as an international body, that they should first proceed to protect people in exercising their freedom of religion, versus the singular protection of religions.

This single resolution says that satire is nothing more than defamation of religion and even Blasphemy. Blasphemy, like you can actually defame a thought or idea or even something that may be true. The main sponsors of the resolution are predominantly Muslim nations. This is the 4^th year in a row in which the resolution has been approved. Do they know that folks like me or the writers of South Park, if ever in them countries, by the UN understanding, these got the places to arrest me and even put me to death, just cause I make fun of say, the Pope, or George Bush, or Christianity, or Islamic fanatics or even a monarch (by the way, the King of Saudi is supposed to be equal to a God). Guess talking about them off limits.

Satire is what keeps folks honest. It’s called humor, and the main outcomes are a smile or a laugh. I guess I will be held for I see the UN stands for Universal Nincompoops more so than United Nations and for all them Islamic Nations pushing this – suck a dic*. And while I'm at it throw on a vfew more years to my sentence for the terrorist should have flown planes into the UN. Now that is satire. Blaspheme that.

10 weeks of seperation

I wanted to write something serious but I also miss showing my adeptness at satire. But the reality is shit is about to hit the fan. I know that after November 4^th, there will be a ten week period before GWB leaves and the next Jones take office. So I would hope that GWB would care enough about his country to call the new Jones in to talk about our current economic conundrum. I am assuming it will be Barack Obama. And based on this, If I was the President or If I were barrack Obama, I would work in concert to hammer out a plan for this problem. So here goes, with me in the Role of GWB and me as barrack Obama.

GWB - BO, whad up folk, W. How ya living?

BO - Jones mane, just lounging deuce what gives, how is the fam folk?

GWB - We straight Jones. Look a heah, Congrats, but you know I was pulling for my boy on paper, but you the truth, and u make sense, buttarah you know, we got ten weeks left before you take office let's see what we can do to handle this shit.

BO - Str8, I’ll be up that camp today, you at the crib?

GWB - Yea

LATER ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE

BO – This a phatt azz crib, me and lil momma gone be lounging up in this camp

GWB – Yea, its tight aint it?

BO – So what’s up mane?

GWB - So what you been thinking, Cheney gone so we can do this.

BO - Well, I say we need to get manufacturing up and improve the value of the dollar.

GWB - Good, I feel ya, I don’t like giving all that loot to my folk, but K-street, and you know how they do?

BO – yea jones, I also think we need to put at a minimum, a 2% tax on all them derivatives and swaps they pushing, that would get us close to 200 billion back in the first year.

GWB – That’s a good look.

BO: Thanks

GWB – I know we got to do something to increase the value of the dollar, but you aint hear this from me, but we gotta cut out them tax breaks for them oil companies.

BO – yea, we on the same page folk.

GWB – and believe it or not, I got to take care of the regular man. I mean liquor going up and I cant deal with that.

BO – you back on the wagon?

GWB – naw jones, well a little taste every now and then (exchange of dap)

BO – Yea and we need to make them oil companies pay for the land they using too, and reduce as much war spending as we can.

GWB – (shaking his how) don’t know how we gonna be able to do that jones?

BO – we can, and last but not least, we gotta repeal the Commodity Futures Modernization Act of 2000, now hear me out W, I know Phill Gramm your folk, but he a dumb fuck.

GWB – (Shaking his head in agreement)…well lets put it on paper, you alright folk, in the end we all Americans, and its all about us. And our America aint black or white or GOP or Democrat, its green.

BO – Yea man (exchange dap).

GWB – so what’s the deal folk, you gotta go now, if not lets go watch some football.

BO – I’m down mane.

I would hope that GWB would extend his hand out to the next President since shit is real in the field, and I hope he may actually be Barack Obama, even in his ineptness in knowledge related to Economics and foreign policy. This is how would do it, what says you jones? vote

raising Dylan Klebold & Eric Harris

Didnt want to write about Sarah Smile no more. But couldnt let this pass. Thanks to my folk From the left for this


Any similarities? Or

LMBAO