Perez Hilton is engaged to Mark Sanford

Now if you read me on the regular you know I have a penchant for satire. In addition, if you happen to follow me on twitter, you would have noticed last week and I admit that I initiated a #unfollowperezhilton trend. Also because he is neither Latino (Cuba is in the Caribbean) nor a hotel; because his momma so nasty she pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh; because he tints his hair with Paas Easter egg dye; and lastly because he doesn’t eat pu##y.

One which I am ashamed to admit I forgot to mention was because he is engaged to South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. Yes this is not slander, it is tru. They are a perfect match for they have provided me with the real definition of dumb fcks. They have completely redefined it. . With respect to Perez, I found it funny that he would call a man a faggot and get mad and cry when said person or an associate would drop a two piece dark meat snack on his head. And of the dear Governor, well what person in his capacity would think they could disappear for five days and no one would miss him being gone.

It was funny to me that when Jones got back from Argentina, that he confessed to 8 years of banging a-broad (intended-lmbao)when confronted by reporters in Atlanta, he mentioned the name of State Senator Tom Davis as much as he mentioned his wife. Don’t know what he was thinking but I will give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he did think that the Appalachian Trail was in Argentina, or even that they were the same thing after all they are both proper nouns of locations that start with the letter A.

Now some may not find this funny but I do, and feel obligated like an intercellular anaerobe to break that Perez and Mark are engaged. They tried to hide it but I broke the story. I mean I remember 10 years ago when the Holier than thou governor rode bill Clinton on his head escapades like a surf board, as well remember how Perez rode Miss California. Just come out the closet Mr. Governor, and Perez, you too, for we all know a real woman can fight.