Friday, March 16, 2007

the golden rules of fools

The way I see the world as An African American is very different from the manner white folks and even our women see it. For me, trust and truthfulness are the only things I have and they are manifested in my word. If I say I am going to do something, I will do it or at least do all in my power to accomplish the task at hand. This is really consistent in the manner in which I treat people. I am a firm believer in the golden rule – do unto others as they do unto you.

With that said, I also acknowledge that in our daily interactions with people, even those that we are around all of the time, many of us fail to acknowledge this rule, which means we can not honestly look other in the face and be truthful about how we feel and what we feel. I could never for example, stay in a job if I did not like or value the work that I was doing in that job. Likewise, I could never stay or be with a person whom I know I have no liking, desire, or affinity for. I mean, why hang around someone one does not like or may even despise? This boggles my mind for I feel that a clean heart is the only type of heart that can show respect and love and value and appreciation.

However, for some of us, our personal penchant and insecurities and selfish ways prevent us from ever having a clean heart for we prefer to hide, sneak, and be dishonest and insincere about what ever we feel to those we are around most or even should care about the most. I was taught that if one gave then they would receive. But I was also taught that if there is no giving that they should not receive. As an African American man, my heart is pure and clean and I know that I have no support out in this world other than myself and my work ethic. There is no one I can depend on to do for me as I do for them I don’t expect such, but it would be nice to have such. But When I offer myself unconditionally to my work, my family, and my wife/girlfriend (if I had one), it will be for better or worse and completely. I will make time to do my job well and to love those around me the same.

For those who don’t have an open and loving heart, and who can not appreciate or notice a blessing when they have them right in front of their eyes, they never will, for they will only see the world in terms of lies, deceit, and chicanery. It is these folk we have to nurture and watch out for – the ungrateful who can never give as they receive.

9 comments:

Rich in the Stl said...

“As an African American man, my heart is pure and clean and I know that I have no support out in this world other than myself and my work ethic. There is no one I can depend on to do for me as I do for them I don’t expect such, but it would be nice to have such.”
This is a strong statement, but one that resonated with me as well. However, I found that there are those that have my back, maybe not the way I see it happening in my mind, but they have my back nonetheless; even if it is just in prayer. What I have also discovered is that operating in the office of manhood is not for the weak at heart, especially as a black man. However, I have to remember that God is omniscient and he determined the womb in which I should enter the earth, so it is not for me to question. I just continue to turn to him in my time of struggle, pain, heartache and indecision. Sometimes it is the presence of lack in our lives that bring us to our greatest blessing, so don’t look on these times with such sad eyes.

It’s also interesting that I hear soooo many women complaining about the odds for finding a good man and here it is, you seem to be a good brother yet you can’t find a good woman. So, I ask you, what’s wrong with this equation?

Anonymous said...

Why do we struggle with honesty. Not just as a man (can't speak from a man's point of view) but people in general. I know there are many people who are not honest simple becasue they are out to deceive and be coniviving but what about the person who has a pure heart and good intentions? What causes them to lie about... love... for example. To spare another's feelings, to avoid, confrontation, or just spineless. I was bound in a 17 year relationship with a man that I, eventually, could not stand to be in the same room with. I stayed for SOME reasons and LOTS of excuses. But the bottomline is that I was not true to myself or him and we were both miserable. I should have told him I could no longer endure the verbal abuse and that I did not appreciate being taken for granted. I should have been honest about how I felt about his lack of responsibility in regards to the financial wellbeing of our family. I finally got the nerve and the spine I needed and walked away. But not without some baggage. And by baggage I don't mean my children but years of issues and feelings I had to sort through to become whole again. Was sparing his feelings worth myself? Absolutely not! Was it worth my dignity to avoid the confrontation when the confrontation was inevitale to happen? Not at all? Was it easy to undo all the years of deception, perpetrating happiness? No!!!! After fours years we can at least be cordial and I have learned a hard lesson. Just as I tell my children- It is better to tell the truth! Don't try to spare me by keeping the truth from me because it will cause greater pain in the end. And I will be truthful to others and myself despite the pain. Renee

I'm not a nice Gurl said...

to each his own..
what goes around comes around
got nuttin nice to say, dont say nuttin at all.
give and you shall receive

and other home grown cliches such as these are invaluable.. i tell my kids all the time.. tell the truth.. and boy do i get it...
let me just share this.. i have been blessed 10 xs ova... been married for 16 years, have 3 beautiful, healthy, intelligent children.. have some good friends and ive forgiven my mama ..lol...got more than enuff to go around...i am grateful and appreciative and just plain ole lucky... so i smile a lot.. i dont have a lot of deep penetrating knowledge to pass on.. i do however treat folks the way i want to get treated...what crosses my mind from time to time is why some folks tend to treat me as if i have the plague...its almost as if people want to hear and pass on complaints, worries, fears or pain... i made an error at work a few weeks ago and a coworker told me he was relieved.. that somehow he now saw me as "human"..wth! our society is suffering from a lack of compassion and debilitating future generations with perpetural selfish acts.. it is my pleasure to pass on my smile and help someone if im able...dont get me wrong i have faults.. but i choose to start where i am, use what i have and do what i can...

yall be good this weekend..and take it light..
peace
r

Anonymous said...

wow! i feel u on that my grandmother taught me the same values as i was growing up. i try and pass this on to my children to do the same. to respect others and to be more giving but at times one of my children act very selfish in her ways of treating people not being trustworthy

CapCity said...

I'm a bit late responding to this. But this is one of the newest of the many great blogs i've discovered. I love the post and hearing a Brother express himself on the topic of honesty without any prompting.

Thank u!

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