Friday, June 12, 2009

Me sorry Ms Jackson

For me there is no greater challenge and honor as a man than being a father. I say this with the impending return of Father’s day approaching. No biggy to me for each and every day I can smell, hug and see the smiles of my seed’s is father’s day. However, I know that many disrespect fatherhood. Men sometimes do not take the reigns of appreciation and responsibility of being a father as important, however, this is not what I will focus on in this essay, but moreso those select few of women, who devalue fatherhood, the importance of their children having a father and having that person actively in their child’s life.

For me, this is important for I have yet to figure out how one can have so much disdain for another in their heart to use a child as a vehicle of revenge. This is not motherly and even is selfish for the interest and personal emotional desires of the mother appear to be more important than the child. I know this personally, for one that I was once engaged too is doing such as I type. She once asked me to choose her over my son, which let me know she was not the woman for me. In addition, she always put her self before the interest of her own daughter even suggesting that she did not feel as if she had to put her life on hold and behind the life of her child.

She has found and used my only weakness against me as a man – my seeds. She has made dangerous allegations against my son, one who she said she would make our lives miserable and do anything to hurt us, and attempts to keep my daughter away from me and her brother. So on this fathers day, I would like to make this plea to all the women who use kids like tools to hurt and harm their fathers – you really only hurt the children, for as a man and an adult, I will always be able to take care of myself but children cannot. Not to mention all kids need both of their parents. So I will never consider a woman a mother or the motherly type if she expects a man to choose her over his kids, nor if she would prefer to keep her child from her father because he no longer desires to be apart of the mothers life or if she just wants to be vile and evil for “glory built on selfish principles is merely shame and guilt. So me sorry ms, Jackson, im for real – sorry I don’t want you in my life – but my children will be forever. Happy father's day to me and all the real men representing love unconditionally. Again real men, not the likes of Lil Wayne.

27 comments:

Sum Kinda Wonderful... said...

It is so sad that many women revert to this sort of behavior, using children as pawns in order to satisfy their own desires. Unfortunately, it causes many fathers to turn away completely, children included, in order not to be bothered with daily "mama drama." It is wonderful to see a man taking a firm stance in favor of his children despite the crap being thrown from the mother. Peace and Happy Father's Day.

ms. bliss honeycomb said...

well said. happy father's day (from a grown-up daddy's girl. *smile*)

Soulpitchdiva said...

A women who refuses to accept the relationship is over shouldn't even have a chance to belittle the father for trying to be there for his kids. Her selfishness should not lead to temptation of hurt and "baby mama" drama towards the man who wants to take care of his kids. I applaud you for stepping up and being there for your kids.. Happy Fathers Day Everyday!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i'm not a parent so i don't know how valid my observation is however I've seen many a woman so scorned by the man they bore a child for that they had to close the door on any type of relationship with that man, even if it meant at the expense of the child's relationship with their father.

it hurts when i see this, women crushed by an attempt at loving a man, the same man who then wants to smile and play with the baby...I truly believe that when a man mistreats a woman, abuses her physically or mentally he should consider the ramifications as they could limit his interaction with his children based on his actions with the woman.

memphiz said...

Amen to this.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Good Spit My dude.

Glen Antoine Palmer said...

Haven't checked in for awhile now. Sorry to hear about the drama. However, props for taking care of your seeds. Too many brothers cut and run, but you are holding yours down. It is pretty sad that she is using this virtue like kryptonite.

The Bear Maiden said...

Well, just to be clear men are famous for doing it too... usually the child support issue. Or various other things like calling the mother "a clown" or a "crybaby" in the presence of their kids, belittling her, etc.

I've seen it done both ways, on both sides. That being said, I agree with you. PEOPLE (not just mothers or fathers) need to realize that everyone gets hurt when you tear the other parent down or make false allegations... but the children suffer the most. For ever. I had a seven-year battle with my Sun's dad (as you well know sir, cuz I wrote about all the stresss :) ) but I tried so very hard to keep it from my kid. It was a terrible terrible load to carry... but I'm proud to say I did. And because I did, when the battle was finally over we were able to call a truce because we hadn't gone so far overboard that truce couldn't be redeemed.

Because I also firmly believe and agree with you that children need both parents. They need their fathers, be it boy or girl, just as much as they need their mothers. It pisses me off when women purposely set it up so that the other parent is cut out, and then proudly proclaim they are both mother and father. You're not. You can't be.

It takes work, though, Lord knows it can take work and patience and prayer and more patience sometimes, to keep that battle from your kids. But it's best if you do.

However... if she makes allegations you KNOW are false, and can prove it? Take it court. The courts DO NOT look fondly on that... AT ALL.

BTW, I too am really sorry you have to deal with that. I really am. I sympathize. Keep your head up and take the high road... and keep a paper trail.

shine said...

I know, it's been a long time. Happy Father's Day to you--sorry to hear of the drama.

BuelahMan said...

Feed her fish heads.

Happy Father's Day, Brother!

RunningMom said...

I WISH my son's father wanted to be a bigger part of his life. He would be if I were willing to give him a piece of me in return. I'm not.

He goes months, and has gone as much as years without seeing him. He says he regrets it, but has done nothing to change the behavior.

Otherwise... he is a decent guy.

I definitely think that you should speak to someone regarding her false allegations about your son (I imagine I know what she is alleging) Enough evidence against her crazy self might be enough for you to get full custody. We can only hope and pray.

♥Niya♥ said...

Happy early Father's Day. Me and the father of my two boys have had our ups and downs but as a mother i would never think to keep my kids away from him. I've even had plans to move out of state but stayed only because he didn't have the means to come and visit. I despise women who do that type of thing to their kids. Glad to see that you are not giving up on being there for your kids.

Waiting for Zufan! said...

Aw, sorry the ex is being such a royal pain. It sucks to be treated unfairly and like you say, it is incredibly insensitive of her to put the kids in the middle. Keep doing what you do.

msladydeborah said...

One of the most critical issues I believe we are facing as a group of people is family ties.

It is crazy to use our children as emotional pawns in our relationships.

I hope that as time goes by we will begin to see the value in our flesh and blood relationships. And that we mature enough mentally to realize that when we make children with someone-their well being is our mutual responsibility as adults.

I know that this is an on going issue between you two. I hope that at some point in time it gets worked out properly.

12kyle said...

Fatherhood is the greatest responsibility that we have. I've been around you and and your kids and I know how much they mean to you. Keep your head up and stay in prayer.

Clifton said...

The topic you wrote about here is one of the major symptoms of girls not having their fathers around. We hear about how it affects boys all the time but when a girl doesn't have an example of fatherhood she devalues its significance. That's why she felt it was ok to ask you to make a choice between her and your son.

Meikmeika said...

Yes Sir!!! Unfortunately I've been witness to many cases where the mother has used the child(ren), as a bartering tool, against the father. For this I can never understand.....

One of my friends grew up hearing his father left b/c his mother got pregnant with him and he wasn't ready to be a father. 20 years later he finds out his father had written him letters, been in contact with his mother numerous times (asking to visit him), and sending a large sum of money for him monthly..... His mother felt no remorse in her actions.

Happy Father's Day!!!!

CC said...

Not good. Relationships are tough especially when kids are involved and it is an evil temptation to use children in a split. Coming from a divorced parent background I know how nasty the situation can get. I'm glad you are a caring father, good luck with your situation and have a great Dad's Day!

KevinsTeeTee said...

First off Happy early Father's day to you, you definitely deserve the day! To your post I find it sad that people use children as means to an end. A child is a precious gift not a tool to get what you want out of life. Children weren't asked to be born so why put them in an environment where they are taught it is okay to lie, manipulate and back stab to get what you want. Then people wonder why this new generation of kids are so messed up.

I do believe that Father's are just as valuable as Mother's are because they provide both girls and boys with someone to aspire to be. It is unfortunate that so little value is placed on fatherhood and all on motherhood. Yes mother's most often than not will always be there for their children, but when women do not even give a man the opportunity to provide and spend time with his child (or makes him jump through hoops ) how can one be upset when he gives up?

I'm not defending guys who never had any intentions of showing up in the first place, but those men who go above and beyond to take care of their children.

Torrance I wish your child's mom didn't harbor such resentment towards you, but some people just aren't mature enough to be able to let that aspect of the relationship go and continue to do what's right for the child. I wish nothing but the best for you!

blackgirlinmaine said...

Keep your head up high...happy early Father's Day to you.

Your post actually has me tearing up in part because for so many years I did not want my ex in my son's life..but now that my boy is on the cusp of officially being a man, I am glad he had both of us.

I grew up with both my parents and I do think that both parents are critical when raising kids. They take from both parents.

I am so sorry you are dealing with such drama but trust it will all work out.

VAR said...

Happy Father's Day, Torrance... hate to see you going thru the drama but I know you'll rise to the top and keep being the positive example that you be.. It's obvious thru the eyes of your children the incredible job you do... Hope all is good and wonderful otherwise..

Say a prayer for my mom. She passed away last Monday so I'm flying a little low right now. Her service is tomorrow. Peace..

TaMina said...

its extraordinarily hurtful to keep a child away from their fathers-it makes no sense especially if the father is willing to uphold and understands what it is to be a good dad- with so many not doing their part these vile women continue on the cycle that as u said hurts the children not anyone else *sigh* happy fathers day in advanced sir

Chanel said...

i'll drink to that. happy father's day

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