Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Do Black Women Support Adultery?

We know that men, in particular married men have a problem in our community, not all but some. I like to call this the keeping it in your pants syndrome. Yes I am speaking about adultery, when a man or woman sleeps with a married person and they know they are married. I do not claim to be the moral zeitgeist, but I have recognized that nowadays, just as many women are guilt of the pleasures of the flesh as are men, so my query to you is, do black women promote adulteress behavior more so in this current generation than generations past?

I ask this based on two recent observations, I could make it three if i decided to include the debauchery proffered by a one Superhead, but I won't. Albeit I feel that her influences on young women is foul seeing that it supports scandal and leg opening for fortune and fame.

The two examples I am referring too are Alicia Keyes and Former 'American Idol' Winner Fantasia Barrino. I would expect that any woman who was married and found out that another woman was being intimate with her husband would be mad, and mad at any woman who slept with a married man. I would also expect that, although it takes two to tango, that women would equally find that both the man and woman involved to be disrespectful, despicable and sordid.

However, what I noticed regarding Alicia Keys, and her affair with Music Producer Swizz Beats, was that many made excuses and even applauded her actions as acceptable behavior under the guise of the man and his wife were separated. Like separation is the same as a divorce or that maybe even she was the cause for the separation.

Now I do not know how women will respond to the allegations that Fantasia Barrino made sex tapes with a married man, but I wonder if celebrity gives such behavior a pass by some. I never heard Alicia Keyes being called a home-wrecker as i suspect many common folk would be labeled. But it is obvious that the wife off Antwuan Cook, Paula Cook thinks otherwise.

It seems that in the age of strip clubs, groupies and fame, women now, more than ever are willing to do whatever to get paid or get a little name recognition. This type of behavior is merely a reflection of what has now become common place. Yes the men are just as guilty, but can't a woman say no if she knows the man is married? I don't know, that's why I am just asking the query, do black women support adultery and what makes women give Alica Keyes or Fantasia Barrino a pass for acts they would not forgive their girlfriend or sister for if they slept with their husband? Or would they "rather be cheated on than broken up with or take a piece of a man that's married?"


neshia said...

hell no with boyfriend or husband i will be sitting in a jail cell

msladydeborah said...

There is nothing new up under the sun...

I suspect that over the course of time there have been a whole lot of sistas who have stepped off with a married man. While I was reading this post the names of other famous Black women who had been outed for having affairs popped into my mind.

The only difference that I can see the ability for the public to weigh in on the behavior via the internet. That's it. The opinions that I have read pretty much are the same as they have always been on the subject.

In the court of public opinion who is right? If your judgement is based on all of the major ways of faith-it is wrong. Period and there are no loopholes for the behavior.

The nation's sense of morals has sunk to a very different level. There was a time when a high profile individuals affairs were kept private. Now it is just like listening to the weather report. You hear it, comment on it and keep it moving.

Adultery is a mutal consent act. Who should shouler more of the blame for it? Rhett Butler raised a point that I think fits perfectly into this situation. "You don't mind doing wrong-you just mind getting caught".

In reality, if Alicia and Fantasia weren't in the public area, would the nation actually give a damn about what they did?

watchoutmomshome said...

I think Alicia Keys caught a LOT of flack on the African-American gossip sites such as BOSSIP,

In agreement, though, the 'legitimate' media didn't make it clear whether Swizz was separated before he and Alicia started hooking up. Either way, their marriage takes some of the shine off her image.

Lovebabz said...

When women decide not to have a hand in a another woman's pain, then cheating will stop. At the end of the day, someone can say no. Women have to say no. And Men have to be honorable. But if a man will not be honorable, then the woman he is trying to drag into his mess has to be willing and God fearing enough to say I don't want that for myself.

A man who is so careless with his wife's feelings will be equally uncaring about yours. Why would you want a man of such low character and self-worth? That's the real question women have to ask themselves. If your self worth and self-esteem is low then you will accept poor treatment and lay down with dishonorable men with no character.

It doesn't matter whether its a celebrity or my neighbor. Being honorable and faithful is a choice.

Chez Cerise said...

Alicia didn't catch much flack from the mainstream media (white) because they don't know who Swizz Beatz and Mashonda are. She definitely took a beating with the black media and her black fans. I think the sales of her last album reflect that.

roundtable84 said...

I get the feeling that this one should best be answered by black women and since I am not one, I'll pass. However, this is a very interesting topic to me so I am paying attention to your take and the responses.

Blessed Brilliant said...

sadly, it is a generation thing because the "other woman" believes a good woman can keep her man and thus she is the better woman for being able to do what the wife would not.

Its not love, its lust and infatuation but then again that's all most are looking for today. Just a short romp, a shopping spree and hope to not get pregnant by a broke man.

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Smarty P. Jones said...

I can't speak for all black women, just me. I can say that I don't support it. Does it happen? You're damn skippy!

I think the problem is that society as a whole has pissed on the sanctity of marriage. It has nothing to do with race, class or gender. Cheating is cheating, no matter how you slice it up.

Why only call out Alicia Keys and Fantasia? Gabby Union certainly fits the bill in this situation. D. Wade's divorce was JUST finalized a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure there are others. The bottom line in all this is all we can do is check ourselves.

I can't condone knowingly sleeping with a married man. But let's be real, some of these dudes are out here lying about separation and being married at all. I'm starting to think I should ask them for their DOB and SSN so I can see if there are any marriage licenses with their names on them.