I am a human being

I take this time to say to all of those who will personally take time to be a part of history – the romantic souls who brave the elements and wave on the steps of the Capitol and the Lincoln memorial, to soak in and live and appreciate being a part of history. Even those who were fortunate enough to stand along the rail tracks and hold their kids in their arms and just wave in admiration and respect to the rail cars that transported the President elect and guest to the stop block at Union station.

This is for me a proud time, for my love of history in person has never experienced such an event since the day I saw Memphis burn and Martin Luther King Jr. assassinated as a 6 year old child. I take pride in this person as a man, as a father, albeit I am supra critical of him as a politician as I am all politicians that proclaim to serve the people first, over party and financial contributors. Yes the 44^th president of this great country has inspired me and I hope he has inspired other, especially to be more than fanatics and drum beaters.

There will be no perfect union, but to dream of such is what is admired, unless it is only a dream deferred with folks anticipating one politician can do the job alone. Such a precept is feculent construct from beginning to end. So in DC be safe for terrorist do not care about cameras in every pole. Be careful on subways for terrorist think and read more than we do. And do watch the man or woman next to you, for just as folks coming to celebrate others are coming to rape, take and pillage. We must be able to realize that pick pockets and strong-arm robbers see large crowds when you may not; that one mans celebration is another mans pain.

I took some flack for the previous post, but I was taught that I would by my parents and grandparents who said that free thinkers make other think, even about things in times in which elation makes them ignore – for thinkers never forget. Obama has shown us that anything is possible, that thinkers are a dying breed but yet invaluable, and that elation can often get in the way of pragmatism: we can look at the populous when Hitler was elected to see such if history is of value to us. Yes I am a pragmatist that leans towards optimism but such does not abrogate my compassion and interest or concern. I was also taught that the reality we share with other, albeit not equal to truth – can offend those that want to hold back that which cannot be restrained – truth and time. For I write what I think and feel, objectively with intent to only express what I think for as I have written before, dick riding aint my thang, and I write my conscious as opposed to what I think people want to hear. I think writers do not care what other thinks of their thoughts for they will accept openly criticism and praise equally. . America is not in a vacuum; our economic problems show us such, as the manner in which the world celebrated when Obama was elected. We should honor this worldly applause and feel the pain abroad equally.

When I see the children in Gaza, I see my two kids, as a single parent that I love unconditionally and desire the best and no harm directed towards them. I see children, and although this inauguration is historic, I relic such yet feel pain for others, especially children who are thinking about things more important than a celebration. Life is not isolated for men, for your child is my child even if they are across the oceans. I am man, and I am a descendant of Africa, and I am American. But that aside, all of the aforementioned are secondary, for I am a human being first and foremost. As such I think human thoughts, and do not separate pain or elation over reality. Just because I am celebrating does not mean I think others are for in many cases they are not. I am human being first, what are you? For I can celebrate and feel pain at the same time. This is raw dawg buffalo, not cute lil kitty cat.

LIVE spelled backwards

Staying with what I was trying to assert in CAN U DIG IT via my subtle reference to David Hume (how many yawl picked that up – slappz , BuelahMan's, Jackie, love babz , Curious, Badtux and Kelso not included, LOL), I have come to the conclusion that some folk just cant deal with kindness and even hate those that are kind? Albeit I have yet to thoroughly ponder this, I have made some cursory judgments regarding the aforementioned thesis. So I will attempt to give my take on such as a function of life and as well as living.

Hume’s (1711-1776) major philosophical works to me was Enquiries concerning Human Understanding although I know some would suggest A Treatise of Human Nature or Dialogues concerning Natural Religion. In summary he wrote about cognitive attributes of human behavior in terms of philosophical naturalism (my purview and I may be wrong). I think he may have been responsible for the dramatic change in Kant’s view of the world which suggested in essence that our own individual representation of things is what provides meaning and perception (I may be wrong on this too). But if not, I would venture to say that this is how I see evil. Not as a man with a red three piece and a pitch fork, but rather the representation of such.

Personally I have had a lot of good and a lot of bad things happen to me. More good than bad and even with the bad, I have always been able to find something good out of it. Truth is some folks can’t deal with bad and even worse cannot connect their actions and how they treat others to the negative outcomes in their personal experiences. They will continue to do wrong per say, treat others as they themselves do not desire to be treated and even worse, build upon lies until they have no way to control what they have amassed.

So caught up in themselves and their selfish attributes, they evince the me first position and are often so needy that they cannot see or observe or even respect the needs of others. So when others are kind and caring regardless, it festers more mean spiritness within in them because they desire others to hurt as they do, when they should desire not to hurt and focus on being considerate and caring. Yep, this is what I get when I try to understand meanness and hatefulness in others. I realize the true object of such is themselves.

To put it bluntly, evil is just live spelled backwards. Those that are afraid to accept the cards they are dealt, and fail to love themselves, are more likely than naught to be reflective of evil, for they, in my humble opinion are simply afraid to LIVE, or see their lives as a blessing.

Approaching the Bench: 1] Shouts out to my new Blog roll fam: go get it girl, k i s s, trouble ink, disturbed stranger, change within, y paisley, go zack,cliffs crib,black folk don’t swim, gotta have faith ,words n music, married 2 the game, jameil, ms. sula, spiritual-vitamins, waiting 4 zufan, nia naturally, trula, only my opinion, taffy ,silence between the words, socal muchacha, let it b the truth, coup de coeur, b hippy chick, da pewviews, ivory blossom, theophania, cordie b, seven, ambular, lina & curly curvy nervy

2] Blog Fam I met this week for first time at book signing and otherwise: the rich house, capacity 4 private eyes, str8 from d A, skoolboisplayground, Gee Gee - Made Over, b12th planet, bittersweet symphony & Literary Felonies. I already knew tony oh and Miz.

Sticks & stones

point of order: lil momma woke up at 715am, so no rest for me again. food for thought after breakfast.
When I was a child, we used to say a lot of little sayings. The two I remember most are when a person wore red we would say “red, red pee in the bed, wash your face with cornbread” and “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. So I decided to post the most painful statements that I can remember ever said to me.

8 – You may never walk again and your mouth will never be the same (Dr. After I was hit by a car while walking across the street).

7 – You are to bright to believe that people will want to read stories with black male characters that are smart, talk with that kind of vocabulary and come from the streets (Publisher from major imprint)

6 – You have to sign over the 75,000 to us or loose your job. You didn’t ask us for permission (Former Employer, Morehouse School of Medicine)

5 – X has been a better father to your son than you (former wife). Funny too because he has lived with me my entire life.

4 – You have to pick me or your son. I want to kill him and I hope he dies (former paramour who once lived with me).

3 – I lost it (2.5 carat engagement ring). Just buy me another one.

2 – The baby isn’t yours, its OT’s (well know married author). Said by person who said the aforementioned)

1 – You will never amount to anything and be nothing (Former High School teacher). BTW Whenever I go home I go to her office and tell them to say Dr. Stephens is here to see you. LOL

I guess the point is that I can forgive and I forgave all. But folks should never expect you to forget what you say to them, I don’t or can’t, do you? That’s why the pic me displaying a stab wound and a laceration by a knife. As long as I see them I wont forget but break my heart, say foul things to me, just don’t break my bones or cut me.

So with that said, all yawl friends and lovers and families be safe this weekend on your adventures, romantic escapades, canoe trips and visits to grand ma – me I got a dog store to get open. vote

A good day to die

Preface: Good Luck to the Atlanta All-Stars 16u Baseball team (my son's traveling team). Only All African American team in the Smoltz-Grisson Wood Bat Tourney. They 18-2.

As I sit at home in my library I write this. To often, we fail to recognize via our selfish ways that each day we breathe or see the sun or rain that it is a gift. To often we miss out on accepting the beauty of the lives that we live and the bountiful blessings that we have for in our selfish ways, we think only of ourselves.

Today I have decided to live each day as my last, as if I have less than a year to live. I will get this business off the ground for the prosperity of my children. I will put in practice all involved in getting at least 5 books out before the end of the year. For I believe in creating my own reality and that time waits for no one and that if I think It I can do it – let it be written, let it be said, let it be done.

To many of us prefer to whine, cry, fuss, bicker and complain about shit that is really beyond out control. What we can control are our thoughts and as such, our dreams, which don’t mean jack if we don’t look forward and take the time to make them real. Too many of us segment our lives into years, days, months or even hours. Not folk hear, either I do it or I don’t. I won’t wait, I won wait for anything and if I want something or desire something best believe folk here will get it. We are not thankful for what we got.

I will not live my life to impress any one other than myself so when I die, I can say to myself that I was the truth. You see, I am observant, I walk around and see homeless folks pushing grocery baskets with their life belongings and I see the same folks sleeping under highways. When I go to a gas station, I may not like the high prices, but even without a job or income coming in I don’t fret. For I know I am not walking in a place where I have to worry about folk walking around with explosives tapped to their body that can take me and everybody else out. I know I am not sleeping in the rain after an earthquake because I lost my home. See I’m a realist and one living in a real world. So all I am saying is stop bitching when you don’t have if you cant acknowledge what you do have. Don’t wait or put things off, and certainly don’t make excuse, if you want something or some one get it. If you express desire show it and let nothing get in your way.

Sure voice what you believe you have earned and deserve. But when gifts are bestowed upon you, rather financial or in Idea, take advantage of the opportunity. Don’t complain or sulk. Get out and do. For if you wont do it for yourself nobody will. Not to mention when you have and don’t acknowledge such as a blessing, you become an adage – you don’t miss something until it’s gone

So this is for all yawl lame ass fakers (shit talkers) who say you want to start a business but are to scared to take your foot off of first base for you can not steal second without doing so. This is for all of you all who say or tell others you love them but don’t realize love is a verb, a corpus of actions that implicate such an expression. For those of you who say but do not place any action behind your words - true, the written word is powerful, but it is worthless without action. Don’t say you love me and send my son to war Mr. President, don’t say you love me and don’t comfort, kiss or assist me. Don’t say you want to write a book but don’t know what it takes to do such. Talk again is empty with out action. I don't care if it is a man or a woman you desire and you have one or a book you want to read. Live free or die. The present is a gift jones mane.

I know I wont. In fact I know I will. I will not ask anyone to do for me what I can do for myself. And those of us who do are merely folks that use others instead of standing on our own too feet. Especially if we only take and never give. So I will do what I print and think, for when I die, I and not others will understand I am the truth, the shit. So take this as motivation, for the way I see it, and maybe It I s the Creek Indian in me, it as any day is a good day to die. vote

a diamond treated like glass

Now for me, i'm down to 3 generations. For my son and daughter, they still have four. But not me, my granny died and may have left me, but she will always be in my heart, maybe that is why the sporadic crying existed. But yawl don’t feel me though. I remember, at least from age nine, going down either via plane or bus, to Macon, to kick it with my grand mother. My momma, although she and my birth father divorced before I was two, made sure that I spent quality time with my grandma on his side of the family. I can still remember the old house, on the Eastside of Macon, on 1109 Boone Street. Every time I was on that dirt road her house was on, I got excited. She would always take me in the kitchen and my Aunt, her daughter would give me her room for the summer and she would sleep with my grandma in that two-bedroom edifice. Instantly, she would start making me one of her citywide and well know pound cakes. And as I waited, she would always slice me up fresh cucumbers out of her garden and put them in a bowl with vinegar, salt and pepper.

My aunt ran a record shop and some days, I would spend the day with her and would always find myself playing in the back room where she had all of the black light posters. I remember it like yesterday. My mom flew down for her funeral. That is what type of woman she is. In fact that’s the kind of woman I want. Even if remarried, to respect me as such. My son’s mother is like that. Maybe that’s why the first scripture was Proverb 31 – that was indeed my granny. She made sure I had checks coming all the time, and she knew and often said about my father “That N***** aint shit.”

I mean, If my other granny died, I don’t think my birth father would be ma enough or respectful enough to do the same. You see, I never really met him until I was Junior in college. He never called, nor did he write or provide for me in all of my years. He was not at my high school graduation, nor my undergraduate or my graduations for my Master’s or PhD. He wasn’t around when my son, nor my daughter were born. He didn’t care. And now I find it strange, that he even refers to or attempts to call my son and daughter his grand children. I don’t have any bad blood, I just do not see him as that which he claims to be: my father or their grand father.

At the funeral, my mother, children and I road in the first limo with he, his wife, and daughter, and my Aunt. Now I do consider her my sister, because she loves me and shows it, and also loves my kids. They know more about her, my granny and her daughter – my aunt than they do of him. I have no more tears for my granny, for in all of her life I only saw and felt love and compassion and as a person, I never heard her complain at all. She was that humble.

In the church, she laid there, in her pink coffin, with her pink dress on, looking like the queen she was. My sister held on to me. I had to whisper in her ear not to cry, for granny was lucky to have had the greatest grand children in the world, for we made her proud. All she could do was smile, wipe her eyes and squeeze my hand tighter. While I was sitting on the front pew, I couldn’t help but remember how big the church was when I was a child. But looking at it now, it wasn’t so big at all. In fact the opposite. But it had style. On the left hand side were I was sitting, were women all in white. The minister, as my mom called him was old school. He would hum after every sentence and if it got good to him, he would extend his words in chord form, and kneel down to the ground and rise. The organ player would embellish his chants with staccato-riffed chords that seem to make his kneels to the ground longer.
But to make a long story short, it has been a long week. My granny is gone, but she lived 89 long and wonderful years. Now I have one left, and she is 87. Both of them are diamonds. They were as such, even when people treated them like glass. The first scripture they read described my grandma to a tee – Proverbs 31. However, her favorite scripture was Psalms 37. And we all know how the first lines read:

“Fret not yourself because of the wicked,
Be not envious of wrongdoers!
For they will soon fade like the grass
And wither like the green herb.”

Yep, grandma Hazel, like my grandma Virgie are diamonds, and remained diamonds, even when other treated them like glass.