expectations and concessions

Before I settle down again, as a man, I need to do some soul searching. I mean when life takes you for a ride, its nice to have someone by your side. So I figure expectations and concessions are important. So if I’m looking for such to be a two way street and a partnership, have to put it on the table what I expect. This is some of what i expect - sorry just being honest.


I expect her to fix my plate for dinner without asking and know what I want on that plate

She got to accept my mind and me.

She has to sense when 'm down and need support, comfort and encouragement

That a relationship is like a job and requires work

She has to desire my touch, my embrace and my caress and accept and reciprocate unconditionally

She must understand the concept of partnership, of teamwork and that the family and not the individual comes first.

If I buy her sexy Fredrick’s or Victoria Secrets Draws and bra’s, then I should be the first and only one to see her in them, preferably at the door when I come in from work or whatever.

She will value my family and limited material possessions if the value I gave them were her own.

She must love and respect my children as she loves and respects me.

She will not take my providing for my family and work ethic for granted; she will maintain me for she will know my family depends on my work ethic.

She will not place anyone over her family or me and will show in actions that we come first.

She will desire to kiss my lips, my neck, nipples and the rest of my body like desert that seems to never quench her thirst.

She will love and crave my sex.

She will not serve me tofu.

I probably got some more but this is a start to my personal soul searching.

we no longer make that model

To Whom It May Concern:

I am writing to request a catalog for the woman of my dreams. I have looked high and low the regular way, but I figure it may be easier to get one via mail order catalogue. To make your selection easier, I would like for her to have the following characteristics:
1] I would like her to be able to accept me as I am and love me unconditionally.

2] I would like for her to open her heart and arms to me and my family with out question

3] I would like for her to be mine and only mine and appreciate me with every bit of passion her heart can muster

4] I would like for her to support me and be able to bring me up when I am down

5] I would like for her to do for me as I would for her

6] I would like for her to be faithful to me as I would to her and never cheat on me as I would never cheat on her

7] I’d like her to fix me neck-bones and hot water corn bread even if she didn’t eat pork because she knew I liked pork

8] I’d like her to want to desire me sedulously, amorously, and sexually every time she saw me

9] I’d like her not to be mean, evil, vile, and/or heinous.

10] I’d like for her to be strong, secure and optimistic about herself and what she brings to the table

11] When she calls on the telephone, I’d like for her to ask about me, and my day and not ask, need or want something all the time instead.

12] and doesn't complain saying that my penis is too large


This is all for now, if you need any additional information I can be reached at this address.


Response:

Dear Sir:

I regret to inform you that we no longer have that model in stock. In fact we no longer make those anymore. If you like we can send you a list of our money hungry, groupie selfish women. That’s all we have in stock.