Female Dog Gluteus Maximus Negro

[originally called Bitch ass nigga-editors changed it]
I have always traveled back and forth to Africa rather
frequently over the last 12 years. Each time I learn something
new about African cultures as well as my own, being an
African American. My most recent trip brought to the fore
an experience that I never would have dreamed of
occurring – meeting a fellow African American, whom for
me it was obvious was his first time in Africa, who did
not acknowledge another fellow countryman. Now
when I’m there, I stay in houses or five star hotels.
This time I was in one of my regular habitats in
Johannesburg – the Hyatt Rosebank in Sandton. For the
purpose of anonymity, I will try to tell the story in an old
fashion way as to not give out too much information on
the person I am speaking about.

Once upon a time, an expatriate returned to South Africa
on one of his usual business trips. He stayed in a luxurious
five star hotel where he often occupied the Bill Clinton
Suite. The floor of this hotel, where this suite was located
also contained all of the other suites in the hotel. One
morning by chance he woke up and exited his room.
At the same time, a fellow African American was coming
out of his room also. He spoke to the young man. He could
recognize his face but did not know where he had seen him
before. Being the courteous person he was, he started small
talk and introduced himself. The young man seemed to be
brash, and not interested in the fact that there were other
African Americans staying in the hotel with him. Before
He could say have a nice day, the rather diminutive man
hurriedly walked away to the elevator, putting the head
phones to his mp3 player on his head, trying not to make
eye contact with the man. He was also very surprised to
see how short this person was, and If he would not have
know better, he may have though of him as being a black
mini-me of the Austin Powers variety.

The expatriate found the entire situation strange, especially
when it dawned on him who this person was. He was an actor,
a very popular actor. Although he had not seen any of his
movies, he knew that he had played several major roles
opposite some of Hollywood’s biggest stars. In one movie
adapted from a major novel, he played opposite Whoopi
Goldberg and Angela Bassett. In another, he has also
played opposite of Omar Epps, Mos Def and Sanaa Lathan. The end.

I was very troubled by his actions and at first thought it
was just bad timing or an aberration. But we meet again,
and as I was saying hello again, he quickly jumped on the
elevator trying not to notice or make eye contact with me.
I say all of this just to instruct folks on how expatriates behave
when they are abroad. All Americans, especially African
Americans usually meet, greet and speak to each other
when in Africa. I have been with other notable celebrities in
a host of African countries, and even in flight, they are cordial
and seem to recognize the importance of acknowledging ones own
kind in a foreign country. So people please, when ever you are in
Africa, and you see a person who looks American, or hear a
distinctly unique American voice, common protocol is to
speak and be courteous, for you never may know who you
will run into. And please, what ever you do, don’t act like
a, well since I cant say what I would like to, a female dog
gluteus maximus Negro. I will not hold this against him,
hopefully he will learn from his mistakes and use this as
a growing experience. Besides I would never reduce myself
to such pettiness – not speaking when spoken too. I have
too much home training for that.