Friday, August 31, 2007

the adulteress

I have always wondered if it was possible for an adulteress to actually value and respect the sanctity of a monogamous relationship and or marriage? I have also wondered if an adulteress can change her ways? I have come to conclude that the answer is no, for once an adulteress always an adulteress. For she will always love that married man first above all other men or else they would have not knowingly started the relationship or be able to cut all ties completely with that man.

For an woman that sleeps with a married man will always have some kin and affection to that man and will do anything to keep ties with that person. Now I know you are saying this is not all women. And I agree, but for the woman that knowingly interacts with a married man, and if that man may have some fame or recognition to his name, I will venture to say she will never be faithful and trustworthy. She will always stay in touch with that man, and when things do not go her way in life she will look to him for a false sense of security. He may buy her things and she may ask that he buy her things when in fact she will say that she has a man or look the other way of the fact that he is married. This mean you will lie and do anything to maintain that relationship even if you know such is unhealthy and sinful. This means they will ask them for favors, and they will provide, knowing they only expct one thin from them in return-sex.

The strange thing is that this man will always be able to have her in his bed for she thinks little of herself, of her relationships with her partner and nothing at all of this man’s wife. She will even get upset at her man if he even speaks to a single woman or stay in touch with an old girlfriend. But she on the other hand sees no wrong in her actions for she is merely a whore who will open her legs for him just because he has fame. Which means in my eyes that you can’t turn a ho into a housewife. Sad thing is that she will teach her daughter if she has children that it is ok, But such a woman would likely not even know or is uncertain who the father of their child is.

So to all you men and women who continue to interact with married men and women, or who cheat on your partners and continue to interact in any form or sort with a man or woman you know is married, shame on you. For in the end, you will loose what may be of the greatest value that is right in front of your eyes. By then it is to late for you can lie to another person but you cannot lie to yourself, as if you do not know what you are doing is wrong.

15 comments:

ROGERSBIZ said...

NICE BLOG.

QDAWG4LIFE said...

I don't understand, are you saying it's impossible for a married woman or man to have a genuine friend of the opposite sex? Or Is this soley intended for women or men that are having sex with with a married person?

I've been married for 13 years and I've never strayed, but I have friend of the opposite sex the have leaned on me for guidance or if they just needed a friend to talk to.

Anonymous said...

They need to start handing out printed copies of this blog when people apply for marriage licenses. Wonderful blog T.

MzzJJJ

MysTery said...

Lol, these people just don't love themselves enough. I believe that someone can change if they go through enough and learn to love themselves and respect themselves (and others) enough. However, me talkin to a previous cheater...doubt it.

Emanuel Carpenter said...

Hey T,

You know you my boy but this post sounds a bit sexist. (You need to get your hands on some bell hooks books brother.) If a married man is sleeping with a single woman, HE is the one breaking vows he has taken with his wife (and sometimes before God for believers). The single woman has not broken a vow, however if the single woman and married man try to have an exclusive relationship, I imagine it would be bogged down with trust issues. I know I could never trust a woman who is in a relationship but sleeps with me nor could I trust a single woman who would sleep with a taken man.

After 11 years of marriage, my wife and I agree that if it ever comes to this it would be best to just get divorced to be with someone else rather than cheating, lying, ruining our kids' lives, and possibly spreading disease and heartache. People rarely think about or talk about the consequences of cheating, and there are plenty.

I've spoken to women who've told me they would cheat on their husbands if they could at least get the romance (not sex) they've been missing at home like candlelight dinners, back rubs, and kissing. (It's not always about material gifts.) In marriage (especially with children), it's so easy take your spouse for granted and forget about the little things that mean a lot, like romance. Marriage is hard work, not just something that comes naturally. Let's not even talk about the non-romance stuff.

On the other hand, many men will cheat strictly for the sex (especially if they're not gettting it at home), even if it means spending some money on being romantic (regardless of it being a lie.) Sometimes I don't think women realize just how important sex is to most men. They will lie, kill, and pay for it when desperate enough. (Which is why I'm an opponent of witholding sex as a punishment in marriage.) However, men need to understand that most women can't just put their emotions aside simply to please their men. (Try making love to your pissed off woman and see what I mean. Ladies, am I right?)

Back to the subject at hand. Both men and women cheat, and should be condemned for it. It is IMPOSSIBLE to romantically love two people at the same time because the very definition of romantic love includes trust and commitment. However, with the right motivation, anyone has the power to change. A former cheater could become a faithful and loving person after maturity, finding faith, and soul searching. Some will argue that it is only natural or simply a man's nature to cheat but it's also natural to pee on yourself, and we sure learn how not to do THAT, don't we? For those who don't want to be in a committed relationship, I highly encourage honesty (with their mates and themselves) and dating non-exclusively.

Anonymous said...

eman - your words are wisdom of the ages, but im not sexist, i was reading the scarlet leter and was talking to a friend, and that lead me to write aout this. his woman (past tense) was seeing a married man on him and he was doing everything he could for her-RDB

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm, you sound a bit judgemental to me. Can't remember the last time I heard that word - adulterous. Did some female take a bite out of you?

Anonymous said...

judgemental maybe = opinionated to me jones same thing, and ive been bit a lot - lol-RDB but pls leave a name and mail address

BeKinky_Paula said...

I agree/disagree with Emmanuel. Adulterers are all parties responsible for cheating, if knowledgeable of it, and most likely if someone is married, you know. If you don't know someone is MARRIED, you have some problems. LOL There's signs (you cant have a home number, you cant go to his house lol) but most women like to ignore signs.

I would say women would cheat with a married man for some type of power. The only way most women feel like they can get power is to have something over another woman. 'I look better', 'I dress better/have more money', 'I got yo man', the last being the ultimate thing! That makes this woman feel powerful (temporarily), and that power is magnified if she has a significant other that may also be hurt by this (and she believes he'll stay and/or beg her to stop). As soon as the married man treats her like a hooker, she begins to feel how she originally felt, worthless & powerless. (Which defeats the purpose of doing this, but most people would rather try to fix a symptom than the actual cause of things).

A woman could never be a cheater like a man because a woman will always be in the position of being used, even by a married man. He knows that by her knowing he's married, she's agreeing not to expect anything more than sex. Even when the woman is married and the man is single, she is targeted by that man because he knows, he does not have to offer her anything more than sex. Romance, sure, but it's all foreplay when there's nothing else following it up but sex. There is no true commitment or love, because if it was, no violation of any marriages would be made and the married person(s) would get a divorce and the people that are in love would come together. bbbbb

BeKinky_Paula said...

Ignore the b's LOL Im not used to typing on my keyboard anymore LOL

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