note to goons, thugs and gangsters

Now I did write commentary on the current administrations health care reform. But I will let the pundits speak before I do because when I speak first it seems they only recant in an adumbrated and unintelligible form, what I postulate. So for the time being, they will have to go at their analysis on their own. Nor did I post on being black in America for I need no TV show that I would never watch anyway to tell me what such a disposition defines. With that said, I will talk about what I love, my kids and family and will chastise those that don’t see the value in such as being major in their lives.

To the aforementioned which I cited in this title, I would like to say that you are foul, fake and lame. Albeit I can contrive a bevy of phrases to continue my description, I will refrain and attempt to convey a logical course of explanation as to why I purport such a locution.
At time I feel as if I am the last man, the last scholar, the last father on earth. And Times have not been easy for me ever. From my upbringing in Memphis, to securing my PhD, to starting my own business, to raising my kids. No never, and I shall not seek the easy way out for hard work compassion and love is all that I crave to mandate my personal exhilaration. But no matter what, I have had two vehicles to assist me my mind and the love of my kids. Even with the grief that has been exerted through my daughters mother who suffers from mental illness, I have never felt alone or helpless. Always I have still had the love of my kids and they have seen me as father first and man second. When my shop was beasted, by my side that morning were my son and daughter who felt more pain and violation than I did, for the door only cost 600.00 and the cash register they stole only contained two rolls of pennies.
See for me there is nothing better than keeping my seeds by my side and wouldn’t have it any other way. Just seems today those that claim to men are of a completely different feather.

For to me, you are a lame if you spend more time in clubs and bars than helping your kids with their homework weekly. Or if the example of fatherhood to you means having your elementary school aged daughter on stage at some awards show while you sing about fucking every girl in the world and staying strapped. To me you a lame if you spend $12 to 17 stacks in a strip club yet can only manage to give a $1000 scholarship – Yea Jeezy, I’m talking to you.
I am proud to say that for me, life is more than hypocrisy and the spouting of fake stupidity related to self material idolization or the proclamation of being hard. For truth be told most folk that do are really soft as wet toilet paper. Yes, I am, proud, for coaching my son in baseball and basketball all of his life and seeing him score in the top 92 percent of all kids in the nation on his ACT. I am proud of the way he man’s up and takes his 4 year old sister to the bakery across the street to get cake when he would prefer not to be bothered with her. Yes I am proud of how my daughter pretends to order dog food on her play phone and answers my shop phone by saying “Braincell.”

This is what makes me feel like a man. This is what gives me pride. I just wish other men felt the same way, evinced pride in family, intellect and their seeds as they do in being foul and hard and for lack of a better word – stupid. I mean who else or what type of person would be proud to proclaim themselves as a goon, thug or a gangster before a man and a father? I say a fool.

the hunted

I write this under the auspice of celebrating my one year anniversary of being in business. I have read and been told that any where from 70 to 85 percent of start up businesses fail before the first year. All of the other business owners have been congratulating me as if I have made it. But I have not and do not feel as if I have. The reality is that I am merely a single man, a single business and realize that via introspection, much more work for my betterment and all connected with me needs to be done.

And although I am foul in character, and in nature, my disposition dictates that there is more to me than patting myself on the back can accommodate; that requires being appreciative of what I do have as opposed to what I do not.

I don’t know if I should be mad or sad, but truth is it is disheartening to acknowledge today what are accepted as the standard characteristics of the male species. I just don’t get it, where it comes from or how we as men, and even worse – women, promote sucg dumb azz behavior. How is it that we as men can see it fit to spend or even plan to spend more time in the gym, or working out than in the library, as if it is our external that defines us more than what makes us men – integrity, intellect and character. Sad thing is that we will be the main ones that vilify women for caring more about the external cosmetic virtues of existence – e.g. appearance, yet we do the same thing. Are we that shallow or caught up that we cannot mark priorities of wisdom as such over vanity?

We all talk about how we despise playing games, or that game recognizes game, but it really don’t matter in the big picture if we throw out collective and personal responsibility. For we will say such and talk such when in fact we will spend more time with a play station, or X-box than we do trying to improve and enhance ourselves spiritually and intellectually.

We know more about our favorite teams, and mundane television shows, movies and entertainers than we know of our own family, history or even worse, our own children or their teachers. Yet we will complain vehemently and loudly without lifting a finger to participate to attempt a change. Yes we men, are merely bench warmers in our future for active participation requires making choices but we would rather follow, and be like the next man (often fakers they selves as a consequence of fame and idolatry) than think and engender greatness for ourselves, for if other do not know of such, it is worthless; for to us fame is the only thing of value.

So if real recognize real, then let’s be really real, we are the hunted but many of us do not realize this. We accept what we preach among each other, especially other black men under the mantra of keeping it real, when in reality we keeping it real fake, for only an idiot would postulate such when life in itself is a reality. What is really real is that we would spend more thought and consideration to deciding to get our car wash, more time indeed than we would spend on reading to a child, whether it is our own child or not. Now that is really real, and I can talk this shit folk. Jones here don’t need no accolades or pat on the back for I get it each time my cash register rings and when my kids call me poppa and take the time to talk to me and place their lips on mine. I get it each time I see a former inmate I know keep the job I assisted in helping them find – for they got it on their own, or when I assist a man in a diabetic coma out of his car and give him CPR (as I did last Friday in front of my shop). Yea that’s what keeping it real is all about. Not the promulgation of negative attitudes and stereotypes that foster disingenuous effrontery in the form of being hard for the fact is that only thing men can have hard is they dick. So that’s what’s up, like I said, we the hunted and half us don’t even know we the prey and falling for the bait hook, line and sinker like a red fish in a bayou in Louisiana. And folk wonder why I call folk fck boys and BAN’s (bich azz n I double g a’s). So dress up your cars, buy them fancy clothes, and all the air force ones you can, for I like a nice tailored Valentino suit too, but it aint jack with out my brain cells. For brain cell against brain cell, I’ll smash am jones any day and if I was weak, emotional or insecure – I would cut some heads too, but that’s a last resort.

Addendum: good look to Mahogny Speaking for giving me this award.

U should be crying

Point of order: My folk was in town, couldn’t get by the shop. Said the blog was tight, but like his lyrics, falling of the deaf ears of the lame, mute and blinded. This is for you.

“i’m from where the catholic church is some racist shit,
they helped europe and america rape this bitch,
they pray to white spanish jesus whose face is this,
but never talk about the black pope gelasius,
i’m from where soviet weapons still decide elections,
military’s like the mafia — you pay for protection,
catamite sex tours is what the country sells,
and rich white business men make the best clientele,
i’m from where they too pussy to come film survivor,
and they murder coca cola union organizers,
i’m from where the justice system está podrido,
fuck government niggaz politic over perico,
rebelde concido, enterado vivo, como otro argentino desaparecido,
cuz rico laws don’t apply to the cia,
and muthafuckaz make sneakers for a quarter a day,”…… Immortal Technique

Take that Jeezy, Lil Wayne TI and the rest of the female dog gluteus maximus Negroes who claim to keep it real - real stupid

Talked to my folk last night. My home boy from the cut. He aint call me I called him. I love jones to death. Same neighborhood and same social club that twelve call a gang. I called him because his ex called me. She my folk too and I love her to death also. She asked me to speak with him. She said that his son would call him but that my boy would not call him back.

Now men, this will come from my heart. There is no greater blessing than the love we receive unconditionally from our kids except that of God if one believes such. For the life of me, I cant see no reason in the world why a man, in particularly one that claims to be such, and has planted himself in a woman to result in fertilization and the resulting blastocyst, cant see this greatness, especially even in vanity, of what he has created.

Personally, in the world we have around us currently, I want my seeds around me as much as possible. And when they are not around me, although I don’t worry and keep the love I have for them and that I suspect the have for me in my heart, they still contrive to cross my mind incessantly.You dont know what u missing, when im not with my daughter, when she sees me she holds me and wants to sit on my lap and hold me with her head on my shoulder all day. And my son, as son as i get in when he dont see me, he like "hey pops" and ask my advice and opinion on everything. We all sit at the table like to day and laught and talk.

So I won’t get deep, or nothing like that, just short and simple, but for all yawl men, that claim to love and miss your kids, show me, and I aint from Missouri . Cause if it was me, I’d be mad if I missed my child’s call, and even worse, every time I saw a man with his son or daughter in the street smiling and hugging and holding them, I’d buss out in tears, and my fault folk, but I think yawl should be crying too. Good day.

addendum: i have come to realize we are lost. Folks dont understand the economy, and wonder y any job is better than no job and how stupid u ask, we will turn down a job in a recession, for paying 7$ an hr and we aint got one - go figure.

work hard and don’t complain

Growing up in Memphis, there were 3 general things I was inculcated with from either my Grand folk, Mom or Uncles:

1] If you gone be a ditch digger be the best ditch digger and they will always call Torrance to dig that ditch

2] Somebody gotta be number one, may as well be you.

3] Competition is for folk who have to prove something to themselves; you don’t need to compete boy if you already know yourself.

Over the years, I have had a lot of things said about me, but never have I been called lazy nor have I ever had my work ethic questioned. The little I know about my mothers father and my granny’s brother, I do recant both of them giving me advice as a child under the age of 4. My Great Uncle, while drinking Scotch and chain smoking Pall Mall Red would say “what makes a man is how hard he works, not for himself but his family and neighborhood – men take care of others.” These were straight old school cats, with my great uncle, like my granny, being straight up on out of Yazoo City, Mississippi.

Even after they both died, and my mother’s brother took over the reign of my family being the last oldest male in the household, he said the same thing to me over and over but added “we will always work hard and take care of out children, and working smart is the hardest work to do.”

I am writing this because of a request I received from one of my readers. He suggested that I was always talking about self suffiency and that I should share my joy of hard work and working for myself to others such to maybe motivates them to do the same. I honestly hope that this tractate does his request honor. For it is a joy, a joy unfortunately equal to that I experienced when my son and daughter were born, only without the tears. You see after both were born, I left the delivery room, looked at the moon in one case and the rising sun in the other and cried, like it was straight out of Roots.

Nowadays, not like there is nothing wrong with it, but many of us want the easy way out, We want to rely on our looks and become models, or we want to rap, or worse, we spend $10 to $20 dollars weekly trying to hit the lotto. No longer do we desire to wait or even earn what we desire for in our myopic purview, me, and me now is all that counts. We will complain while we have other providing or taking care of us because we cannot see that their work ethic is what sustains us, or that the opportunity given to us is always a function of chance; and that we need to make the best of all opportunities for we may not get another.

But for some of us, the easy way is the best way. Even if that means selling drugs, jacking someone’s shit, depending on others or just not being able to be on time for a job if one is fortunate enough to have one. And dont give me this bitch azz shit about its the only way folk can make money. Truth be told, hard work is a throw back like black and white TV. I mean we are so lazy that we will walk in front of a TV looking for a remote control to change the channel instead of doing it manually. We even too lazy to change our oil or even cook our own meals, preferring to waste loot at Jiffy Lube or McDonalds, while at the same time being, or saying we are too busy to sit at the dinner table together. To busy with all the convience around us – go figure. All I am saying is that work ethic is what engenders sprit of faith and accomplishment. Without such, we have nothing, for we will ask and wait for folk to give us shit, even if its freedom, liberty or equality. I see what George Clinton meant now when he said Free your mind and your ass will follow. For I am the last eldest man left in my family and outside of love, alll i can leave them with are my actions through my work ethic - can u dig it?

Amplification: In last post ACTION means macking or trying to get a girls number for yawl lames LOL - not sex.

The men all pause

Ok. First, folk here cooked prime rib tonight such that the meat pulled from the bone – dang.

That said, this is for the men, even the lurkers, but I wont hate on any woman responding on behalf of her men – but not what you want, but actual behaviors evinced. So here goes.

1] How do you respond or feel when your favorite teams looses, to a rival or in a championship game like the Super Bowl (true I was reminded of Memphis – Kansas last night, guess I’m not over it)?

2] How do you live your life such to show your spiritual connection to a higher power?

3] How do you see your role as a father, and what does it mean to be a father to you?

4] If you are the single provider responsible for feeding, clothing, shelter or any other necessity or frivolous request for your family, how do you expect your woman, wife, son or/and daughter to show appreciation for such? Do you think they would reciprocate appreciation?

5] How do you define your role as a man to your family and what is the single most important aspect or act you can define in the capacity of fulfilling that role?

6] What would you not do for your wife, woman, son and/or daughter as the man of your household?

7] Is there a difference in how you express love (not sexually) to your woman or wife when compared to your son or daughter?

8] How do you describe the passion for a son’s love when compared to the passion for a daughter’s love?

9] What does it mean to be the man of the house and as being such, what appreciation and/or value to you expect to receive from your wife, woman, son and/or daughter?

10] How should your work ethic be appreciated or valued and reciprocated unto you by your wife, woman, son and/or daughter?

extra credit: How do you see and define your responsibility to your community?

Lets b honest

i aint no prince charming (post # 400)

No Boring ass politics today from this diabolic mind, just a simply query. I have always wondered where the knight in shining armor, for lack of a better phrase, the “prince charming syndrome came or originated from. Sure, I know about fairy tales and Sleeping Beauty, but when did such transpose itself to real life? You never hear folk talking about Frankenstein in real life, so why this particular fairy tale? I mean it is specifically designed for women.

I know men have their dreams of the perfect mate, however, we are not raised to look for a princess charming, nor are we raised to seek the ubiquitous doctor or Lawyer for a mate; or as it is nowadays, a rapper, professional athlete or movie star.

I think this syndrom does noting for positive relationships. In fact it does the opposite, it places fictitious standards on real life such that many are blinded by ones accomplishments and material attainment more so than the character, integrity of actual substance of the man - which in all actually define a man.

Personally, I can cut the Prince charming cake. I have meet women who were more enamored with me having a PhD than the person I attempt to be. The problem most women I meet is that they thing Jones here is a regular mutha fucka. But I aint, I consider myself the truth. Many say they like a man with family values or a family man but will turn around and say that you spend too much time with your kids. Others will say they like a man who is well endowed in the manhood department, but will complain and say that one is too big. They may say the like a man with some street acumen but suggest the folk you hang with - your friends, are too dangerous. Or worse, that they like a man who can cook, but indicate that you are trying to get them fat. So what gives?

Again like I said just a simple query. If there is a woman that desires me to be her prince charming, they better go else where for I am not prince charming, I am Torrance Stephens, a man, and more importantly, a human being.

Lift up Your Skirt and Find Your Balls

As African American men, we find ourselves in precarious and difficult positions daily in life that the average denizen will never experience. Namely due to social, economic and historical factors, we have a hard job of just maintaining respect and our life. The conundrum is that we are few in many, especially those of us deserving of the title of men.

As it stands, we are a dying breed although many self proclaim the title of being a real per say, man. I just think the aforementioned has a responsibility to his community and family as being one. That includes making to the best of his abilities, a stable living environment free from detrimental factors both in the home and neighborhood. This means being responsible enough to provide and take care of our children and our women. It also entails being able to sustain tolerance for scrutiny, criticism, and plane old meanness that will be directed towards breaking us down.

We should be able to critically make decision that look at our families and communities first, even if they may be to our disliking. We should not desire outcomes such as that which lead to the arrest of former Atlanta Falcon Asley Ambrose who is reported to have pushed his wife in the face and threw a glass vase at her after she responded in self-defense. According to police reports, when she tried to call 911, thge brother of the former falcon, Naim Shakir, 24, "tackled her and held her down while Ashley Ambrose kicked her in the side and hit her in the face, according to the report."


So I guess I state this as challenge to us men who claim to be real but are never there at PTA meetings for our kids, never changing diapers, not treating the women in your lives like queens, being faithful and respecting the relationships and commitments of others. More importantly, it means if you cannot do any of these things, then lift up your skirt and find your balls.