I’m a blessed mf

I aint trying to be sentimental and shit, but I got to get this out of me, although I need to drop this piece I wrote about John McCain and another post on Cubans in Florida. and the US governments history of laying with dictators. You know today, I realized how BLESSED I was. I have been dealing with a lot of shit inclusive of automobile trouble lately, well the last 4 weeks. And as such, it required that I utilize close to 2700$ on a rent-a-car, well really several rentals. Today, I returned the rental and picked up my truck. It still needed a manifold and it sounded like a laboratory run by a mad scientist (I resemble that remark). But it was drivable and that was good enough for me. Lil momma was in the back seat and we were in route to pick up lil daddy.

We got Jones, stopped by the shop for a few and headed to the cut. As soon as folk got on the highway, it stopped, I mean it cut off, sounded to me like the alternator although Jones here aint no auto mechanic. I was just BLESSED that my cousin was behind me. She was dropping off a cell phone for my son since his mom took it away from him because she didn’t like his attitude towards her husband (I think they married). When her husband, the adult was the one who cursed at my son. No I didn’t take it there, but I felt like it. See it does pay off to have brain cells.

I pulled over between the median, right adjacent to Grady Hospital. I was upset but never frustrated. My cousin attempted to give me a boost, but to no avail, I mean everything worked electrically so it wasn’t the battery. I asked her to take my son and daughter to my house and that I would be there. I had no money. No checks in from Morehouse School of Medicine, but mainly because I had not hit the bank and would not be able to. They left and I kept trying. I would have called my folk, but my cell was dead. I know big slim (owner of Do It Right Car wash), or Red (Jet Bail Bonding) or Damon (owner M Bar) or Tony Oh or Smooth or any my folk would have been there but I couldn’t contact them. Then my folk Willie Mitch Drove by, and then Vaughn, we had all gone and graduated from Morehouse College together. We tried but eventually had to push the car to the road. The last person to stop was this State Trooper, Officer Patton (see u at the signing). He was professional and cool to the max. We all talked, folks that we knew blew their horns and it almost turned into a mini Freaknic. I signed a book for the Officer. And Mitch took me to the cut,

I was BLESSED. All of this on a day when Jose, hadn’t done what he said he would, repair my truck, and on a day when I found out my daughters mother, well how can I say…Well put it this way, my mom left me with my granny while she was at Vanderbilt in graduate school. She and my granny told me it was crushing to her to leave me behind. But each break, she would return and spend each and every hour of the day with me until she went back. I was only two. My daughter’s mom says she misses her little princes (i'm sure she does honestly) and that she dislikes her being a daddy’s girl, but I found out she was in Florida, sloshed on the back of some motorcycle during bike week. Now she will say I am bashing her when what I said about my mom, her sentiments, and her selecting the latter (self) ovr child is true. I say the truth will set u free and free your mind and your ass will follow (George Clinton). Any who, my point is, Truck broke down, I found about the aforementioned, cell phone was dead, no loot in my pocket, no job, but I had a shipment of dog food come in, shop coming along fine, my friends were there for me to depend on, my kids were safe, and I never got or felt down at all. In fact I just smiled, just like the sun was doing on this 75-degree day in the ATL. I am BLESSED.

But I figure if it is the truth, it is the truth. I am a BLESSED MF. Not to mention I have no shame in writing what I experience. George Bush even says we bash him for no reason at all regarding the Iraq war when 1] he said it was over 3 years ago on a battle ship and 2] that they had wmd’s. But I’m home now, I got a 40-ounce and kids are loud as fuck. I do regret now going over to Jose’s last Friday with my pistol. Didn’t mean to scare him, cause it got me a fucked up deal, but it was that South Memphis in Jones that just seeped out accidently. But what the fuck, I mean, I’ll just spend more on my truck. So yawl support your folk, just another poor starving writer of the mad scientist variety who acknowledges that there is a thin line between brilliance and insanity…..and them two post coming next week.

never neglect anything u love

Today, i was just gonna post a part of chapetr 8 from my mos recently completed novel HER KISS WAS NEVER MIND. However I decided not to, and may post it Thursday or friday.

With that said, the heart, although vascular, reticular and muscular, is really a vacuous organ. Sure it transports blood and fills blood with oxygen, it doesn’t have any meaning outside of an anatomical and physiological compensation unless you allow other in or unless you are allowed inside of others hearts. I came to this conclusion while being a chief with my boy Smoove. For those of you who are unaware, I am leaving academia so that I can be a lot more lazy (yep, I know it is grammatically incorrect). Well really, I am going to do something I have been dreaming about for a while – open up a dog clothing boutique over on the East side of Atlanta in the old 4th ward, Edgewood district of the city. And out side of my little 3 pound black Chihuahua named famous (in picture), I want to use my boys small Terrier for my advertisment flyer and in news papers, of course panoplied in the couture I will be selling

He indicated to me that he had been neglecting his dog and that he needed to give him a bath, and also that he wished he would bark at folks when they came in the door like Famous did, instead of pissing on their shoes. I responded, well we can never neglect the things and people we love. He said it was profound and that he had to think about that and added, “That’s so true.”

Now that I think about it, I wasn’t trying to be prophetic or nothing, but it dawned on me that I never neglected anyone I loved. Neither family member, nor children, nor woman (when I had one) nor friend or pet. I always wanted to be there for them because I truly believe if I wasn’t they wouldn’t be there for me, or worse that I would loose them. I know sometimes you can be there for folks and the not be there for you. But that’s cool, cause then you will have the upper hand and can obviate them from your life. An action that will occur at their own offense. For it is true, they will learn, and that their neglect may have proffered such for “you never know what you have until it is gone. So folk, if you love something or someone dearly (cares, purses and shoes side), then do put in the work and never neglect that love, for it may evaporate. And even moreso, never be afraid to love or show it, saying it empty for love is a verb from where i sit, and can only be demonstrated by actions.

So I just wanted to share that from me to the reader today, before me and my little monster went outside to plant flowers and replant some plants on this cloudless 62-degree day in the A. Yep it is real important to me, because I only know how to love one way: that is completely and all in, or not at all.

Concessions

When I was growing up, one of my favorite places to go was to the concession stand. Whether it was at the movie or the Mid South fair, I always liked seeing all of the stuff I could buy and eat. But as I got older, I realized that concessions or for one to make a concession was a different story. You see, a concession is “the act of conceding or yielding, as a right, a privilege, or a point or fact in any activity involving people.” Now I know that it can be used in the form of giving in an argument or discussion, but that is beside the point.

In relationships, it is extremely important to make concessions. If a person is not willing to yield to you or your feelings, your family, or your beliefs, as you are them, then something is wrong with that picture. I was speaking with a friend recently and she told me that her good friend had gone to see a man in another city. That she had stayed the night with this man and that she liked this man. However, when the man was in her city, he did not have nor did he make time to see her. But still, he expected her to drive back down to his city to spend the weekend with him again.

In my purview, I suggested that this was unacceptable and that if he could or did not make time for her, she should not make time for him. In my eyes, it was on him to reciprocate and show her that he appreciated her, her company and that she had value. My friend told me that her friend was all broke up over this. I said she should not be and that we all desire to be loved and told her to remember what Teddy Pendergrass sang:

It's so good lovin' somebody
And that somebody loves you back

To be loved and be loved in return
It's the only thing that my heart desires
Just appreciate the little things I do
Oh, you're the one who's got me inspired
Keep on liftin', liftin' me higher

So yawl folks remember that and never feel bad because you se love as a two way street between two people for we all want and desire someone to love us back – no excuses.

young, dumb and no income

It seems to me that being lazy and having little if any value for hard work and work ethic is commonplace nowadays. From my perspective, more and more people, in particular folks that look like me want something for nothing. Many times, the request to be taken care of are so vivid that they themselves do not see their own behaviors. It so bad now that people expect things to be done for them yet they at the same time feel that they do not have to do anything in return or may even posture the opinion that they are entitled to such treatment.

I write this to say that we need to evaluate ourselves and our own behavior to the point of being more realistic about our own personal beliefs. This is to say that if we expect people to do for us, then we should not have a problem with them expecting the same in return. Such practices and inappreciation for others can destroy relationships and friendships and are often the fruit of our own inactivity. Some may blame this on youth, others may blame it on a lack of home training. In most respects, it is due to individuals never having seen love or recive love in an unconditional manner.

The question is reduced to this, is it wise, smart, or realistic to expect folks to do for us, when we do not do for ourselves or those that do for us? I would not be surprised as if some folks would say it is wise. But then again, it will be those same people who cannot show compassion, passion or unconditional positive regard to others, or let alone, see that such behavior makes other less likely to do for them.