Monday, February 12, 2007

a new breed of mother

Talking with an associate, I have come to the conclusion that some people are not fit to be mother’s and even worse, that there is a new generation, or a changing of the guard regarding those characteristics and qualities that are required to be a loving mother. A few weeks ago here in Atlanta, there was report of a woman age 26, killing her two children. Twenty-six year old Felicia Williams was arrested after a woman-hunt for murdering her own two children and beating her father in a county outside Atlanta. The children, ages nine and 5, were brutally stabbed to death.

Their are so many women who are unable to have children, it puzzles me how a woman could not have compassion in her heart for them, or anyone from her family that has likely shown here love and support for here entire existence. The children were staying with their grandparents, so there had to be some sort of support for Ms. Williams.

Unlike days before, women seem to have changed. As opposed to thinking and putting their children first, it is more about themselves. Being selfish as such does not do anything for the children and or the community as a whole. In order to be a parent, a friend, or a lover, one must have compassion. This means not say mean or ugly things to people intentionally, threatening them, not being responsible and yes even stabbing or killing someone. I was taught that true compassion is love in action. At least she left them with people she knew, nowadays, a woman will be so quick to get out in the streets she is likely to leave her kids with anyone. Then there is the possibility, especially if she has a little girl, to expose her to risk in the form of rape and physical abuse just by parading an assortment of men around her child. I am a firm believer that you just cannot leave your child with anyone nor should they be exposed to a multitude of people – different women if you are a man and different men if you are a woman.

The two children shared a casket together and were laid to rest with them holding hands. So please people, if this is not you, do not condemn my thoughts for they a pure and come from the heart. But if they do, then re-evaluate your life style and ask yourself, if you are responsible and caring enough to sacrifice what ever must be done, for the betterment of your family – especially your children.

24 comments:

Rich in the Stl said...

I feel you brother. People fail to realize that when they decide to lay down and have children, planned or unplanned, the world for them changes.
This life is no longer about you, but about the child with whom you have been blessed to have. That is not to say that you don't get to do any of the things you want to, but the safety and care of the child should come way before some carnal needs.

If the concern is that you aren't up to parenting, place the child with someone who has the wherewithal to love, protect and raise them properly.

DJ Black Adam said...

Good point brother. There are many sociological issues at play, and spiritual ones as well.

I think it may be also more reported in this age of technology, however; people in general are becoming more selfish in our society, so I am sure that's a serious aggitating factor.

Anonymous said...

Yeah I hear you. Ms. Williams was not a prized mother but what about the children's father? I have not heard anything about him? Where was he during all of this. Why did he not fight to get his kids form a mother with a known drug habit?

Aba

Ladynay said...

As a young single mother it breaks my heart to constantly read about situations like this...indeed a new breed of mother is here.

Girly_Girl said...

I have often said that we, as a society, need to administer some sort of 'parental readiness' test to would-be parents.

I mean, we need to pass a test to drive a car or be licensed for firearms...it is sad to think that just anyone can be a parent.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with you T. When I heard about this...I could not belive that a mother brutally killed her two children! I just didnt understand this story and her motive behind it. Why on earth would a woman do such a thing to the children that she carried for 9 months? What happened to the motherly love?? There are many women who see desperate measures to have children...women who would pay any amount of money just to have children...and Ms. Williams kills hers...It just doesnt make sense! The role of mothers have definitely changed for the worse.

jd anderson said...

You are preaching to the choir. I am a survivor of an abusiver caregiver. Abandoned by my mother, father was MIA, my twin and I were placed with someone who WANTED to care for us, but everyone is not meant to be a mother. Now that I am a grown woman I believe my caregiver who we called Mom was a woman beaten up by life and caught up in her own emotional turmoil. Instead of loving us she chose to be an abuser.

My brother and I were never left with anyone other than Mom but she allowed men into our home...and you know the rest.....

Parenting doesn't come with any instructions, but to treat people with kindess and show them love should be a natural proccess, unfortunately it isn't for everyone.

As a mother of teenage girls and with no role model. I knew I didn't want to do to my kids what was done to us. I seeked help from parenting books, asked friends who were parents advice on areas I was unsure of, I attended foster care classes to learn some basic parenting skills, all this I did to ensure I would not repeate the cycle and as a result I am the mother of two beautiful teenage girls that I am very proud of.

Anonymous said...

That is a good point, where is the father? Wasn't man enough as Toni Braxton said. Well for all you women who have a god man, a man that cares for you and his children - keep him, because they are few and far between. Because we have a problem at times, yelling and complaining and not showing how lucky or good we have it when we do have such a man - I know, I had one and ran him off playing girlish games. I have grown up now, but I realize I will never have a man like him again. I guess its true, you never know what you have until it is gone. She must have not been all there in the first place.

ROSE

Mizrepresent said...

Good post T! It takes more than having a child, to be a good mother, just like it takes more than helping to create one, to be a good father. I don't understand the thinking behind anyone harming a child...bc i love mine so much, and i consider them blessings. So all i can come up with is this, most of these so-called new mothers, are young, did not grow up in a loving family, have other issues, which obviously the grandparents recognized. It is a terrible thing for all involved.

Anonymous said...

Yo bro this is just another example of our people going backwards.It all boils down to the fact we as a people are failing.This latest event just reinforces this trend.I pose the question when will this MADDNESS stop.We need to once again become the proud people that I know we can be.
The "Good Doctor"

dalen said...

Social Worker for students

Yes, Dr. Stephens, we live in a selfish world were the rules of the game have DEFIITELY changed for the worse. As indiviudals we must do our part in protecting our own but also reaching out to those who obviously are lost.

A School Social Worker

Shay said...

(SIGHS) so sad..... I can't even comment!

Linda said...

Torrence! So sad but true. A new breed of a mother is speaking lightly, we have a new breed of females that are self-obsorbed. There are some and I am not saying all but many females who enter the world designed for men and loose all their female orgin mainly nurturing. In pursuit of the mighty dollar, females are becoming callous in their demeanor. What profit a man to gain the world and to loose his soul? I ask you what profit a woman to gain the world and to loose her heart? Without love, the world dies and that is what is happening today. A woman is able to kill her children becuase she never bonded with them from the beginning. Most chilren are quote unquote---mistakes, a result of thinking p-u-s-s-y gets you a man. Children are not conceived in love most of the time. More and more each day children are conceived out of lusts creating a world of heathens and lovelessness.

Anonymous said...

Mutha Fuckers are just plain triflin and just don’t care about anyone except themselves. All we can do is pray that they get themselves right

1Dannielle said...

Interesting comments.... Yes there is indeed a new breed of woman but this woman is also encouraged and groomed by a new man. Why would a man "not" investigate a woman before he choses to have a child with her. Why would a man "not" take his child rather than watch he or she being neglected. Where are the "men"? It is interesting to see men point out this new breed of woman, while never pointing to themselves and stepping up to the plate. After all the majority of these women are not with women, they are with men. Or those who are biologically male - when will "you" step up and tell her to take care of her business.... ooooh my bad... you are too busy getting yours...

Anonymous said...

It is a sad thing when a woman does not value a life that only she could produce. No other woman could give this living being his eyes, nose, skin color, etc., but her. This is her offspring, her handiwork, her creation and without any regard she destroys it. It saddens me greatly because this is a "gift" I longed for and agonized over.
Some people may shun a woman who chooses to carry a life and then give it away but I would rather see that happen than the horrid choice of killing. Adoption allows women such as myself the privilege- yes, I said privilege- of raising and nuturing a child. Thank God for the woman who choose this decision and gave me five wonderful children that call me "mother." Renee

Anonymous said...

It is a sad thing when a woman does not value a life that only she could produce. No other woman could give this living being his eyes, nose, skin color, etc., but her. This is her offspring, her handiwork, her creation and without any regard she destroys it. It saddens me greatly because this is a "gift" I longed for and agonized over.
Some people may shun a woman who chooses to carry a life and then give it away but I would rather see that happen than the horrid choice of killing. Adoption allows women such as myself the privilege- yes, I said privilege- of raising and nuturing a child. Thank God for the woman who choose this decision and gave me five wonderful children that call me "mother." Renee

Anonymous said...

went to the site that you e-mailed me to check you out. I was reading the article you wrote about mothers. I am a single mom myself and my kids come first all the time and when they are older and if they need me they will agin come first in my life. The female you were speaking of was a friend of mine we grew up together and we went to school together. There is no excuse for what she did to her children and the fact that she is pregnant with the third child. We as people have no write to judge what this female did to her children GOD has more power than we do and when he judges her it will be more than she can handle she has to account to GOD why she did such things. No one knows what state of mind she was in when she killed her two kids and injured her father. I am not trying to be rude about this but i think someone should go to her and ask her personally what was going through her mind when she committed such an act and then write from there.

essence

Lena said...

I've always said that not every one deserves or better yet knows how to be a mother or a father.

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