Thursday, March 12, 2009

Toenail polish on my wall

Now I am a freak and I am proud to proclaim such skill sets and bedroom prowess just as I do my cooking and parenting skills. In addition, I am not one to hold my tongue and have no reservation about saying exactly what I feel and mean at anytime, regardless of the company. Now yesterday I was out side of my shop lounging. It was a pretty 84 degree ATL day. The sun was out and not a semblance of a cloud was in the sky. Had a nice 2004 New Zealand Shiraz. So I’m lounging and beveraging, playing South African House Music and this car comes past and blows, I wave thinking its one of my customers. The car turns around and parks. Out of the car gets two women. And one had a dog – which was a turn on. So I show them the shop, they say all the right shit like “I like your store” and “it’s cute.” So I offer them some grape and they accept. A lil while latter another young lady drives up and joins us.

No as we continue to beverage, I notice that the sun has brought out all of their toes. As I look around, all the toes from the bubble gum pink, to the ice blue to the Sunkist orange seem to be calling my name. The conversation went a little like this:

ME: Dang, yawl got some pretty feet, look yummy.

They laugh and blush.

ME: Let me touch them so I can get a closer look

They all oblige

ME: Very rare three women at the same time, all have toes that I can imagine in my mouth.

BUBBLEGUM PINK: So you have a foot fetish?

ME: No maam, the only fetish I have is a Vaginal fetish

They laughed.

SUNKIST ORANGE: That’s not a fetish.

ME: Why not, I mean I am addicted to vagina, or should I say A-dicked.

They laughed again and I continued. “

ME: But I do like a pretty painted set of toes and believe me you, aint nothing like having one in my mouth as I arch a woman’s legs towards the sun and roto-root that azz.”

ICE BLUE: Boy you wild.

ME: I’m for real, ‘cause aint nothing like my shoulders pressed against the back part of your calf as I stroke you into submission, leaving your toe nail polish on the flat white paint of my wall above my headboard. Scared say you scared.

SUNKIST ORANGE: I aint scared

ME: All yawl scared, or else yawl would accept my invite and give me your number. I’d have all yawl polish on my wall, like the gay rainbow.

They all laughed and I poured more vino in their cups.

Strange thing is that they stayed outside with me for the next 3 or 4 hours, laughing and having fun and you guessed it – calling me wild. So They all gave me their numbers and I gave them mine. Strange thing is that they all called me that night. Go figure.


ms. bliss honeycomb said...

lmao...i don't like anyone messing w/ my toes, but that's pretty damned funny.

Strongblkwmn said...

Great story! Did you give any of them a call?

Amber-Alert said...

hilarious...shoulda just closed up the shop and took 'em all to the back and got it in lol!!

E. Payne said...

Honesty is the best policy, they say. Hope it works out for you.

Craigjc said...

LOL, I've heard of a booty call, but looks like your like dem toe calls. LOL. The ATL is great this time of year for that. I've got a similar post.

Anonymous said...

lol-I am screamin! Man, you are too much! :)

Erin Michell said...

LOL.... Nothing like speaking your mind and being true to yourself. They could only say no, which they obviously didn't. Have a great day.

President Anthony Taurus said...

they tryin to husband you up.. don't fall for it LOL

KevinsTeeTee said...

lol! Now if you put my toenail polish to the wall I'll have to charge you for a pedicure!

You've definitely got skills. Now let me know if those ladies really take you up on the sex offer. lol

NightFall914 said...

Pimpin', Pimpin',Pimpin'.

That's wassup.

Soulpitchdiva said...

your too dam funny! and you know us ladies love all that shyt! time to go to da nail salon....

Anonymous said...

I’d have all yawl polish on my wall, like the gay rainbow.

ROTFL - Classic

Sheliza said...

LMAO! you are such a man whore!

4GOTTEN1 said...

See i'm trying to be like you when I grow up...hopefully you can get em all at the crib at the same time.

Maternal said...

too funny...

Kayos said...

Wow! While they callin you..did any one of them take you up on your offer to rootatoot dat azz?!?

Jasmine said...

Lmao, you are a man whore. I aint mad at cha. But never wonder why you cant find a good woman!

Audrey said...

Women in Atlanta have no respct.

Nicole said...

that is a joke!!! and u doooooo have a foot fetish...toes in ur mouth n shit! hahahaha
so funny!

amourra said...

Waiting for Toenail Polish Part II Blog...keep us updated. LOL

SlickGurl said...

Damn your blogs are funny as hell at times!!! This one is truly a trip and SOOO Raw Dawg!

Thanks for posting another good one mane!!!

~ Katrina

Soulstress said...

they called cuz they wanted to kno just how wild u are lmao!

nicki nicki tembo said...

Sounds like the Torrance I know...

Got two words for 'em - gag reflex

Soph! said...

haha! This post had me cracking up

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

Well alright playa playa, I guess its that time of year, gotta get the line up going for that summer loving.....

let me guess, their age range was somewhere between 21 and 28

Such a hound you are lol

TheophaniaPaige said...

Wow, lol...

Lovebabz said...

Great choice of wine.

Funny...I never really liked nail polish. I like bare nails...neat and trim.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

ms. bliss honeycomb
booooooooooooo lol


not while making money - maybe after hours lol

E. Payne
so far so good

lol when u stopping by shop folk

not yet but u will if u let me lol

Erin Michell
wonder what u would have said maam

President Anthony Taurus

i may do that maam

serving the needy like red cross disaster relief lol

bring down here for the rainbow


is that good or bad

will do my best lol

glad u laughed

no comment buttaruh would u? lol

so true but they found me maam lol

not all just some maam lol

nope true story

yes maam

thank u

i resemble that remark

nicki nicki tembo
shuuu u gonna scare them off lol u know women dont like um too big as they say

glad to be of service maam

IntrospectiveGoddess lol making sure they came back and i thing 24 to 31

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

when u stopping back through folk

top shelf vino game here

PreciousGem-Refinement in Progress said...

Wow! All three? See I can't even imagine women like this. I don't know any yet, they seem to exist everywhere. I feel very sheltered and naive when I hear of women like!

I thought you were looking for someone special? Best get all that out your system slim. LOL

Nikki Wadley said...

I can't believe they all called knowing they all have your number. That's funny. I guess women have needs too..:)

Katrina said...

I hear you! hahaha My man loves my toes. At first I thought it was soooo strange, but after a while...its like amazing! You wild men love feet!

I think taking care of your feet is really important tho. Ewww, imagine some crusty toes that look like their painted yellow orange but theyre not! YUCKIEEE!!!! said...

Man, you might mess around and have you a MENAGE-A-QUATRO! How many guys not working in porn can say that they broke off three women at once?

Just like E Payne said, honestly is the best policy. Great entry

Lique said...

while i read this i'm thinking i do need a pedicure..considering i have one already.I just need a touchup.Something about manicured toes drives the husband

You are 1 blunt man,not everywhere could you carry on a conversation like that.That was mature of all of you.SEXUALLY LIBERATED ADULTS!the world needs more folk like yall!Have fun and make sure that you offer to pay for those pedis they will need after you're done ;]

THE 78' MS. J said...

This was cute in a I need to go ahead and get my toes done thanks for reminding me type of way lol

Ms. Lovely said...

sounds like something out of a zane book a gay rainbow? hahaha love it!

BuelahMan said...

Damn, Dude.

After reading that, I'd almost let you fuck me.




Dope Fiend said...

BOOBOO! I woulda called you TOO! daaaaaamn!

Chanel said...

i can't leave the house without polish on my toes. its nice when a man notices! ;)

olu albert said...

Damn! I miss ATL for of the most spontaneous city have ever lived in. Bossman, you are true to the game. Handle your business, ATL style.

Jackie E. said...

This was a really interesting/funny/wild read!!! And i thoroughly enjoyed it:)

focusedpurpose said...


i come off of time out to find you totally and completely OOC! lol! see, THIS is why i promptly moved away from atlanta, with the quickness. harem life doesn't work for me.

you are hilarious. your candor is refreshing and off-putting simultaneously!


urbanknitrix said...

Lawd you sound like my husband. He has a SERIOUS fetish. When i met him the first thing he did was look at my dang toes.

سومه...مجنونه فى بلد عاقل said...

All human beings must salute in peace
See what it is doing to Palestine Israel of war crimes
please help us to stop them

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

PreciousGem-Refinement in Progress
i am but i like to have fun too lol

Nikki Wadley
LOL i was playing and was shocked myself

crusty toes with toe jam lol
LOL i know u can appreciate it mane

y thank u madam.

THE 78' MS. J
send me a pic afterwards lol

Ms. Lovely
lol im sorry but i have never read Zane

there u go again lmao

sounds like some ones knows about this

Dope Fiend
LOL how is life across the pond

send pics lol

olu albert
LOL i bet u do

Jackie E.
y tahnak u my sister have a great weekend

LOL me out of control - well true and thanks folk

sounds like my kind of man and keep that relationship TIGHT

سومه...مجنونه فى بلد عاقل Thanks for the drive by

Lina said...

Aint that how it go, playa playa. This post reminds me of a song by Avant called French Pedicure. From your previous posts though, Im not sure if they know what they are in for.

Dope Fiend said...

Ur lucky i don;t live anywhere near the states, lets put it that way. you'd be BUUUUUSSSYYY!

GOODENess said...

funny story! the makings of a threesome! and you had me at South African House music!! (swoon) lol...but then you lost me at toes! I don't have pretty feet but I have a mean shoe game!! does that help??

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Excellent Shot there.

MBR said...

I am always impressed with the calm cool demeanor you able to maintain in any environment... outnumbered but not outmatched.

Aly Cat 121 said...

Yeah, you wild. I can't believe all of them gave you their number? You know you ain't suppose to be drinking wine in the hot azz sun.

Anonymous said...

You said it best when we sipped on grape that hot night in June -- "Last of the Dick Slingers"

You make a nigga want to live raw one mo' gen', just for old time sake.

Holla at your boy!

RunningMom said...

I love pretty feet too! But I'm not hip to sucking on my toes... lick my arch...yes - kiss them...ok - sucking them.. not so much!

Sister Girl said...

Oh my....I ain't mad at 'cha !

I'm so happy that sandal weather is here that I could do cartwheels down the boulevard. But that usually brings out all the leg & feet boys, so go on & do your thing (*hugs*).

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Bahama said...

LMAO!!! too much...guess what? I got purdy feet tew!


Paula said...

ur such a slutbag!

Judy / IslandBroad said...

You got me laughing out loud. If it wasn't for your linguistic flare or your swagger the average woman would have slapped you.

*looks down at my own toes. lime green. just an fyi for ya* LOL

N.I.A.naturally.... said...

LOL!! This is why I keep my feet looking pretty 24.7.365!! Great story!!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Lina s
sounds good

Dope Fiend

top shelf shoe game means sanles too

Tha BossMack TopSoil
u know what it is folk

lol y thank u

Aly Cat 121
me country like that lol

lol u know who we do folk

how about a nibble or 2

Sister Girl
heres to us leg, feet and booty boyz

dont know what the fuck u said folk come back - in english if u can

cheers to purty feets and pig feets

thank u maam

Judy / IslandBroad
lol me like lime green but has no swag

sounds like a winner to me folk

9babydragons said...

I broke my prettiest toe and I still gets no love. Great imagery in your post. Thanks for that.

deesse_en_bronze said...

this is funny as hell. nothing wrong with claiming your inner freak.

Ginger said...

Sounds like they all want to create a new rainbow with you LOL your luck, all at the same time!

P_LOCA said...

I hope you gave them a call, at least one lol..I like how you describe (called) them by the color of their toenails lol..
Great post!

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