Sunday, March 22, 2009

Y u biching

Yep, I am asking a question, why are you bitchin'? Why are you complaining? What do you have to complain about? Why you getting mad over bich shit? Did some one call you out your name; are you just a soft person who gets offended at the drop of a dime? If so, then I am likely talking to you.

I have written a zillion of times how I think folks should just work hard and don’t complain and how if you like what you see when you look in the mirror and live every day with kindness in your heart, then each day is a good day to die.

After my homeboys dispatched of Maryland by 19 points, I left the shop early. And it wasn’t a block buster day with respect to sales so I came home and cooked. For the first time in a while I watched the NCAA Wrestling championships. Great matches I must say. But what struck me was a match in which this kid loss. He ended up getting 4th place but he was truly a champion and a representation of what it means to not feel sorry or get upset or complain about shit. His name was Anthony Robles.

And although he did not win he was an All-American for the 2nd year in a row. What struck me besides him walking off the mat with his crutches and the 10 minute standing ovation he received from the entire arena was what he said in his interview. In essence he said he had been made fun off, called all sorts of names and that it never bothered him. That he knew who he was and that they were just words. That he made it because of focus, determination and hard work, and that he never let anything anyone said distract him or hurt him, that he believed and knew he was always a champion.

So for me, it’s a great look to hear such refreshing words in a time when folks get mad and upset over small things; over words, or complain because they think it is hard. It is refreshing to see some one that I would love for all kids to look up too and focus on as opposed to Chris Brown and his court case, or Lil Wayne, Andre 3000 or Kanye West.

So the next time you feel like bitchin about something, or your feelings get hurt when someone’s says something you don’t like, or get mad when a monkey in a CARTOON is shot – reflect and just try and walk in his leg. Yep, he has just one, and although he did not win the NCAA national championship, in my heart he did, and he is a champion. Many of us say can't, or I can't do that, but the real winner never use the word can't. He never did.


Lovebabz said...

I am who I say I am. I am however always stunned when Black Men shove the knife. Who looks out for us...the whores...ho' bitches...mothers...aunties...Big Mama's... we are all the same woman.

If we can't depend on you to hold us up...then who?

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

our legs even if it is one - thats all we need if we have security in our self

NightFall914 said...

LOL @ the "NY Post" cartoon reference.But yeah that's true. I definitely think we all should be able to express disappointment, disenchantment or sorrow, but just plain ol' bitching is not or should not be a norm. To me any expressing of a negative connotation has to be couple with a purpose of improving the situation.If not then yeah its really just a waste of words.

But as humans we all have to just "rant" sometimes.

Strongblkwmn said...

I always try to keep the struggles of those doing worse than I am in my mind when I feel like complaining. Truth is, i'm doing pretty good.

This young brother is the picture of strength and definitely someone our youngins can look up to.

Lovebabz said...

Thank you for further illumination.

I have been foolish. Unbeieveably foolish.

As my ex would say "what breaks your heart is you keep thinking people are better than they are" He was right.

Again thank you.

Take care.

Keith said...

Point well taken fam. Everytime I walk through a hospital's emergency ward or through the Cancer center...(I raise money for Cancer research) I am reminded that my little problems are indeed small and minute compared to the people I see in these places. Thanks for reminding us all.

LB said...


Anonymous said...

sounds like you bitching about other folk bitching.

ShanSoPink said...

great post!

Jillian said...

Anthony's story is a great one...I use to live in AZ and when I first heard about him you can't help but be touched.

there is a fine line between complaining and simply expressing how you feel about a situation...if all you do is complain with no action or excuses for lack there of, well then yes, shut

Nicole said...

i feel u rawdawg. ppl need to just shut up and get on with it!
self-absorbed comes to my head when ppl bitch about things so petty!
i mean theres venting, but then theres unneccesary drama! hmph. preach!

olu albert said...

Bossman, I concur with your post that there is no substitute for hardwork. In fact, my philosophy is "suck it up and press on with life, stop complaining."

Recently, in a seemingly absurd occurrence, a colleague of mine once accused me of "wanting to be white", just because she felt that I was too objective in some of my opinions in our department. The pervasive ideology which supports the notion that one ought to be supportive of people just because they share the same race, religion or cultural orientation with us, is as ludicrous as a Taliban exploding himself for the sake of some skewed ideological beliefs.

Homo sapiens are entitled to their own opinion- the most important thing is to know who you are and not to be overly sensitive about any situation. Sometimes, inaction is best remedy to negative reaction we may get from people.

rainywalker said...

As I once read it is not the five minutes, it's what you do in the five minutes [sports]. Exceptional young man and yes we, "doth protest too much." But one may infer that those who sign their name the largest in sports or life, are the easiest to find. N'est-ce pas?

4GOTTEN1 said...

Torrance man I do Love the sentiment of this but the reality is we all have those moments of What the fuck and being a bitch sometime in my opinion. I think the true test is can we pick ourselves up and dust off after we have one of those less than stellar moments. If we can do that then I think that's worthy as well. I understand him not letting the name calling get to him cause he knows a lot of people would only pity him and who wants that. Good Post as always bruh thanks for sharing it.

uglyblackjohn said...

Easy with this... someone might call you a "sellout".

Craigjc said...

But aint biching healthy? I'd much rather hear that than see that person walk into a high school with my nieces and nephews are and unloose a hand cannon. But i get your point.

Blah Blah Blah said...

TO could def learn a thing or two from Anthony...
Grown men complaining like little spoiled kids really makes me want to roll right up to TO and pll out my dick and have a contest...'cause obviously, he's probably packing as much as I have. LOL

Q said...

As Diddy would say, "NO BITCHASSNESS!"

nicki nicki tembo said...

The way I figure bitchin' is a waste of time and energy. I don't care for it, it gives me a headache.

ViolentLove said...

so many ppl have no idea who they are... huge issue right there.

when ya dont know you then have to define yourself by externals, which will always fail ya and leave you moaning and groaning about life.

love ya, friend.

Monroe Anderson said...

A good rant can clear your head. Then you can better focus on taking the correct course.

ThatchickNik said...

Love this post! inspirational young man though many kids i know are not really into wrestling to know who he is.

On the subject of "biTching" or hopefully in many cases, its considered venting, I personally think its therapeutic to do so. Not too often that you cant appreciate your blessings (like having two legs, I guess) but enough so that you dont go postal.

Lovebabz, I hear you Ma. But we as black women have some self-analysis to do as well. Though by design, they are the leaders, so many of us, men and women, have strayed from this fact. We have to hold each other up.

sabrina said...

Wow. That's amazing. I'm Muslim, and there is a teaching in Islam which says, "In matters of religion, look to those who have more. (I.e. have more knowledge than you.) In matters of the world, look to those who have less."

This post is a perfect example of that. Most of us are always looking at people who have "better" lives; more money, good looking spouses, fame, material things, etc. But "better" is a relative term, and the next time I think to complain about the weather, or my headache, or that I'm looking for a job, I'm going to think about the victims of the mudslides in Asia, babies who are born with paralyzing migraines, and the person who's home is being foreclosed -- and then think of Anthony -- no matter what God tests us with, we should try our hardest to be grateful for what we have and persevere.

Thank you for sharing this story.

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

My motto is "I'm maintaining without complaining, cause wouldn't nobody listen anyways".

Anonymous said...

Okay, I will stop bitching and try to walk in his foot. But damn, sometime it gets too hard and I need a crutch.

when you think about it, the fact that he only has one leg may sometimes serve as an advantage to him in this sport.

Anonymous said...

Guess that was a "No Bitchassness" pass for a lifetime, eh? But I'm still gon' bitch though. I can't lie! LOL

2sweetnsaxy said...

^5 on this post! :-)

Anonymous said...

Amen. Its easy to get caught up yet for many of us of we woke up with a roof over our heads, something to put in our tummy and are in good health with all our limbs and faculties then really its already a blessed day.

In these rough times I stay focued on the seemingly small things and draw strength from them because focusing on someone else and getting mad only brings me down.

Linda said...

Amen to that! ;)

I can't stand people who have it good complaning about stuff....

greetings from the netherlands!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

i feel u and get that

yes he is

i can respect that hon

that is a great way to stay grounded

thank u

well io was asking a few questions, i could have made some statements, but to each his own ey

thank u maam

im down with expression, but somethings we cant change and yes he is

biching is always self absorbed well said

olu albert
man dont even address that nonsense

so true which i had a drop of his character

i can dig that and thanks

lol how so

i think venting is different than biching

Blah Blah Blah
yep a lot of us men got a lot of maturing to do

who is diddy?

nicki nicki tembo

thanks friend and external definition is what the problem is

Monroe Anderson
thanks bruh

point well taken folk

thank your for reading maam

Tha BossMack TopSoil
great motto, that should be on a boss mack shirt

lol i said we wasnt pointing out nobody only we can do such ourselves


^5 back at ya

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

the small things are normally the biggest value

thanks sister love the new pic of the fam

[Emeritus] said...

as though bitch sessions can't be made up of questions. either way you complaining about other ppl complaining. but like you said, to each his own.

Sheliza said...

Love it! Great great post!

Sister Girl said...

It's amazing how blessed we are in so many ways. Now if we just dare to take a look around sometimes at what is often taken for granted !


ShAy~SHaY said...

wow that was powerful. although you shouldn't knock pple because they are hurt or affected by the comments of another towards them, you can simply shed advice telling them they shouldn't allow what people say to them keep them from fulfilling their dreams.

Its ok to be criticized and be affected by the criticism, but as long as you use that criticism for your benefit then you will be successful in what you do in the long run.

Carla said...

Great post. It really is good advice. Had I heard (and followed) it a long time ago, my life choices might have been different. But the good news is that when you learn better, you can do better!

Aly Cat 121 said...

I think folks don't b*tch enough. In fact I think folks should b*tch and pop folks in mouth from time to time. Why? Cuz it works. *chuckle*

After my 5'6 aunt knocked my 6'5 uncle (her brother) over the head a few times with a combination lock - he been "good and straight" ever since. I'm just saying . . .

Anonymous said...

Standing in applause. . . so true Rawdawg. I have a charm that reads "I can think I can or I can think I can't . . . either way, I will be right."

We've become a society of whiners and excusers. . . I imagine our ancestors are turning in their graves.


untoong said...

Wow, the topic you raise is very touch. In my country people with disabilities work less.

Nice to meet u ^___^

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