Sunday, April 19, 2009

date rape

Point of order: 1] A shame when folks talk on they cell phone and drive; 2] the recession is really hard on some folks, and 3] The title is not making fun or taking lightly the seriousness of date rape.

Some of my family (the women) have insisted that as a single parent, and given my penchant for women and self asserted standards for what I find is exemplary of women, that I should date. Now on the surface, being a single parent of two is not an impediment, albeit having a son that plays all three high school sports and a three year old grown woman are my priority and make it difficult to date, it is not impossible. Especially seeing that we are out the house at 645 each morning and at the shop by 730 and do not leave until 8pm – then usually on our way to one of my son’s baseball, football or basketball games.

I really love it, although it can be tiresome especially since we eat breakfast at the table each morning and night, no matter what time we get home. But I took my cousin up on the offer and this is how it went, and why I don’t like going on dates. For the record we will call the culprit Lil momma. Well lil momma called and asked me to go and see Seal with here. She said it wasn’t a date, and that her sister suggested that she should ask me to go with them to the concert. So I said yes. Now when I ask a woman on a date, I do the mandatory date things. I pick her up; I pay for everything, and the entire nine. If I ask a woman out best believe I will be taking her out and won’t expect here to do anything. I will even ask up front if there will be a problem with the time and accommodate to make things amenable to such.

Now I guess it is different for women. For lil momma, on the eve before the date, called and told me she wanted me to come and pick her up – yep drive, and check this, at 630pm (an hour and a half before I close my shop). But I was cool, I over looked the fact that for this date I would have to stop making money. But then came the mission creep. After this she wanted me to come and get here when at first she said I would not have to drive. Next she asked if would get some wine and some food since it was at an outdoor concert hall popular in Atlanta where one can bring their there own food and beverage.

So after putting in work like I asked her to go out on a date, we finally get to the joint. There I come to find out the folk she said were going to be there were not and it ended up being me and her, and worse Seal. Now as I looked around, the place was crowed but not packed, and it appeared as if she and I were two of the eleventeen only black folks there. And she was having a blast albeit it seemed to me he was singing songs by Al Green, James Brown, Sam Cook and some more folks. Didn’t sing none of his songs until the end of the show when he came back for an encore – he did rock them though. And all the while all the white folks were dancing and sing all the words to HIS songs as if he was Prince or George Clinton.

I took her home as soon as I could. She did buy me a bottle of Tequila, but that was beside the point. I hope she aint think she was getting some – not at all. I would have preferred to been at home, childless dranking by my lonesome looking at the fight. Besides I done seen seals before at Sea world and Marine land when I was growing up. I was grateful, but just one reason why I don’t date or go out on dates, Id prefer to cook, sit at home, look at the stars, converse and maybe plane ole bone. This was no date, but it sure was date rape in the form of mission creep.

58 comments:

NaturalQuest85 said...

I hate your date didn't go well!

Erin Michell said...

She tried to pull a fast one on you...when will people learn that playing games will not yield the desired results. We are all adults...be honest and upfront about what you want or what you want to go down.......

Dana said...

Sigh.....

"Id prefer to cook, sit at home, look at the stars, converse and maybe plane ole bone."

Its hella sexy how simple and REAL that statement is!

Chanel said...

Before I read the post I thought Seal had been accused of date rape or something HAHA my bad. Sorry it sucked

Soulstress said...

u just have to wait for the rite person to come around to take out on a date;)

seal was singin othr folks songs bcuz i think he recently released an album of cover songs.

Sorry ur date wasnt better.

Emeritus said...

it's just one date. go on another with another girl.

Linda said...

"a three year old grown woman"

I know what you mean.... *lol*
Greetings from the netherlands ;)

Jillian said...

what a play on words lol

she definitely had her head on some other ssshh...wonder if she left feeling like that was a successful "date"?...hmmmmm....

have a great week AMT! :)

Lovebabz said...

Oh stop whining and go out on another date :)

Oh and I don't like the "date rape" reference but then if you've ever been raped you'd understand.

Funny story and I am glad you went. NOW GET YOUR SEXY ASS BACK OUT THERE AND DATE SOME MORE!

((HUGS))

Sheliza said...

I agree with Lovebabz!! Interesting read though ;)

BuelahMan said...

One of the many reasons why I am ever thankful that I am out of the dating scene.

Beyond Danielle said...

Being home is usually the most enjoyable thing to do, espeacially with the way the world is today. Entertainment is not the same. And too many people play to many games. A agree a vacation away from the children is enjoyment enough.

Aunt Jackie said...

Poor choice of words with "Date Rape" as a college professor I'd think you'd be aware of the high rate our young women our date raped in that age.

being bored on a date is far from being sexually assaulted. man up and keep it moving:-)

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

NaturalQuest85
least i was asked and was out the house

Erin Michell
never thought of it that way

Dana
im country like that

Chanel
you wild he married aint he

Soulstress
thanks for the info i never heard any his music b4

Emeritus
thanks fam

Linda
they grow toooooooooooooooo fast

Jillian
thanks folk


Lovebabz
i can respect that, just respect that i do like the metaphore. like wall street is raping america ( you dont like that either)

Sheliza
again we use rape all the time in america (the goverment is raping us tax payers)

BuelahMan
LMAO - u better or i will tell your wife lol

Beyond Danielle
thank u maam

Aunt Jackie
note point of order #3, and as i said to babz. Wondwer if you ever complaine when folks use rape to describe the way in which bankers, and mortgage banks and big corporation treat workers citizens or the land....likely note

Keli said...

I was getting ready to come on here and tell you a thing or two when I read the title of your post on my blog roll...

but...

I have to agree...

that was a form of date rape.

and lmao @ the seals at Sea World.

nicki nicki tembo said...

Rape and rapaciousness can have broad application, semantics is a mutha.

As for you're dilemna of dating I propose doing that whichs gives you peace (or peice), semantics again. The penchant that you've spoken of is a seemingly naturally occuring event in the lives of humans. You can date a thousand people and not appear to find the one and then you can randomly run into a virtual stranger and have met your soul mate. I get the same pressure and nudgings from my well meaning family. Trust yourself!

cordieb said...

Awww. . . maybe next time your date will be better. You've got to find the right woman to chill with; someone who enjoys quality time at home, who prefers "to cook, sit at home, look at the stars, converse and maybe plane ole bone." You'll find her when you're ready, no doubt. I'm just mad that you had to refer to your psycological rapist as my pet name, "lil mamma." lol.

Peace, Light and Love...

Pamela said...

Listen to the hints:
told me she wanted me to come and pick her up
really 'told'? Or asked you if you could? 'cause right then and there you could have backed out or said no, my shop closes at 8

blackgirlinmaine said...

LOL...that's just wrong. If she was gonna ask you out then she needed to come correct. I must admit, back when I was single I never asked a man out but if I did, then it seems I would plan everything and take the lead in planning so the man could enjoy the date and not feel like he was getting hustled.

Sorry your date didn't go well.

Miss Awesome said...

"and it ended up being me and her, and worse Seal" LMAO


If I ask a guy out, I expect to pay, drive, etc, but never complain if I don't have to :).

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Lol, Good post peoples. I clown females all day for tha shit babygurl pulled on ya.

Waiting for Zufan! said...

It is really hard to find a good one. Most women are not that inconsiderate.

Angel said...

I don’t know what’s worse her or Seal Lol

Craigjc said...

I dunno if I'd call it date rape. Now, if she was a prison chick, then I'd call it date rape.

Sista GP said...

1. I will not shut up, even though you called me out.
2. At least you know one type of date that you do not like.
3. You have eliminated this woman as long-term potential

A date at home is not a bad idea. Hubby cooked for ME on our first date and it was a Blind Date. We've been together ever since.

Another one could be at your store. Do you have microwave there? Doesn't always have to be "going out", spending time together is most important, not the location.

Casper said...

I have always been the fan of saying "Look I am busy but if you wanna tag along" Amazing what tag along can lead to.

Jackie E. said...

You had me chuckling the whole time I was reading this post, lol. She had her own agenda and basically just tried to fit you in around her plans. I'm sorry it went down like that, but at least it didn't take two "dates" to figure out that you didn't like her:-)

There's nothing wrong with being picky and knowing what you do and don't like. I'm not really a "date" person myself either to be honest. Just not my cup of tea, unless it's with someone I am already dat-ing that person. I'm not sure then how I manage to get from point A to B, then....hmmmm....

Carla said...

I guess I'm the only one who doesn't get it.

What's wrong with a woman asking a man to drive, even if she did ask that man to go on the date?

I don't think she should have expected you to close your shop early. I wonder did she know what time you normally close up? Why couldn't you just say, "Nope. Sorry. I'm not available until after 8pm"???

Perhaps Seal, or even concerts in general ain't your cup of tea. But then, why did you even bother to go?

As for asking you to bring food and drink, ok that's a bit much. LOL! But overall, you sound very high maintenance.

msladydeborah said...

LOL!

If you really did not want to go out on a date-then you should of honored how you feel. That is an essential in the process of relationships. To thine own self be true.

It is not difficult for me to relate to your circumstances and attitudes as a single parent. I very seldom had time to go on a date when my sons were growing up.
I worked full time and attended school part time. When I wasn't working or going to class, they had something on the agenda for me to do as their mom. I spent a lot of my social hours at home doing things with them and my friends.

Now that you know what you do not like or feel comfortable about-what will make you feel satisfied with the experience? Only you can answer that question.

Lo_lah said...

Lol, I just did a post about women asking men out. I didn't touch on this particular point, but another one of the reasons that I don't do it is because if you issue the invitation you should be the one paying for everything. Women need to stop playing.

I am so sorry that your no dating policy has been re-confirmed though. Dating does suck, but it will be worth it when you meet the right person.

I'm going to make it to the shop soon.

Aunt Jackie said...

i'm not privvy to your conversation with babz however when the term rape is used in regards to land and/or finances it doesn't have date before it.

don't try to play me dumb, we both know what date rape means in this society. you tried a play on words, as a woman I'm offended that you would honestly have me believe that you didn't know the ramification of the word play.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Keli
lol sea world was the bomb but seal - not

nicki nicki tembo
u maam are a scholar


cordieb
thanks folk - me can cook and chill wo folks , especially when no kids lmbao

Pamela
lol me slow folk

blackgirlinmaine
nice somebody see and feel my pain lol

Miss Awesome
thats what i thought folk

Tha BossMack TopSoil
jones that would have been a youtube momment id love to have seen

Waiting for Zufan!
thanks hon

Angel
LMAO me either

Craigjc
LOL

Sista GP
yes maam - but u fam


Casper
ain that the truth

Jackie E.
thanks babe u know i love me some satire and u are so right


Carla
she could have told me when she asked like 5 days before thats all. I respect your opinion. But if a man asked u out, and said by they way u have to pay for the food or drinks, would that be what u expected? or is there a double standard?

msladydeborah
it was cool just dont like mission creep - even with the kids lol


Lo_lah
lol. ok bring the dogs


Aunt Jackie
i can respect that...can u respect me likewise?

kolektor-photo said...

is very nice buffalo he he..he

Cisco-elearning said...

Before I read the post I thought Seal had been accused of date rape or something HAHA my bad. Sorry it sucked

budak-sunda said...

she could have told me when she asked like 5 days before thats all. I respect your opinion. But if a man asked u out, and said by they way u have to pay for the food or drinks, would that be what u expected? or is there a double standard? She tried to pull a fast one on you...when will people learn that playing games will not yield the desired results. We are all adults...be honest and upfront about what you want or what you want to go down..

Carla said...

RDB, you wrote:

she could have told me when she asked like 5 days before thats all. I respect your opinion. But if a man asked u out, and said by they way u have to pay for the food or drinks, would that be what u expected? or is there a double standard?I hear you. And if a man asked me out, then proceeded to ask me to pay for this and that, I would have told him no thanks. So I guess that's what I don't get...why didn't you? You seem like a man who doesn't have patience for games and foolishness. So why did you allow things to go down as they did?

We all want to find that special someone...God KNOWS I do!!! But compromising for the sake of...well, for any reason...will never bring anything, except another something to post about. ;)

Alas, we live and learn. Live is fun, ain't it?

Pamela said...

You hold your stance about everything else...why didn't you do it this time? My bad...pussy is in this situation, LOL!!!

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

LOL sorry about the bad date but it was funny to read.

T.C. said...

all i can say is i TOTALLY feel you! TOTALLY!

MsPuddin said...

LOL ouch. I hate dating. Boo.

What kind of woman sneaks a man on a first date to go see Seal? That is just wrong and explains why she is still dating in the first place. Although, she did swoop in with the bottle of tequila, two points for that one...

MsP

Be one with the Fro said...

you should have put a stop to it when she TOLD you to PICK her behind up...screw that! she pulled a "bitch move" - I know some people don't like that term...whatever...it is what it is.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

kolektor-photo
lol

Cisco-elearning
no prob folk

budak-sunda
thats all im saying


Carla
like i said. she knew she shops from my store. second the day of the event.
dont know about u but i keep my word regardless, not like im gone melt. So next time u on a date he pick u up and yawl eatting or at rest., and he ask you to pay. nip it in the but lmbao

Pamela
who needs to go on a date to fuck.... not me..but i told my cuz i would try the next time it came around

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon
no biggy i got an essay experience is for writing

T.C.
thanks folk

MsPuddin
true dat

Katrina is a Princess said...

hahaha she was a slick one! Has she tried to contact you since?

I love Seal, I wish I could see him in concert!

Tammy said...

Oh hell no!!!!!!!!!! She asks you on a date, but you do all the work!! That's wrong!! How can a woman expect to be treated like a queen when she doesn't treat a man like a king..??

I do love Kiss of a Rose..lol =)

I'm great..how are you and your beautiful children?

Rich Fitzgerald said...

What up folk. Chalk that one up and screen them a little harder next time.

Carla said...

like i said. she knew she shops from my store. second the day of the event.
dont know about u but i keep my word regardless, not like im gone melt. So next time u on a date he pick u up and yawl eatting or at rest., and he ask you to pay. nip it in the but lmbao

Has nothing to do with keeping one's word. You going to the event is keeping your word. You paying for food and drink for the event is another. So don't get all high and mighty now. Or if it truly is about "keeping your word" then no reason to ever complain in the first place, is there?

Guess you are really just looking for people to empathize. Whatever.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Katrina is a Princess
u could have had my ticket lol

Tammy
lol dont let Carla read this lol

Rich Fitzgerald
lol

Carla
nope wanted folks to laugh, i thought it was funny as most. you making a mountian out a mole hill. could at lease leave an email or url representinmg u...but its cool

nicki nicki tembo said...

I'm no scholar I just crush a lot - kinda like Big Pun, hahaha

Carla said...

nope wanted folks to laugh, i thought it was funny as most. you making a mountian out a mole hill. could at lease leave an email or url representinmg u...but its cool

Mountain out of a mole hill, huh? And here I thought I was just giving my opinion...commenting on a BLOG. Silly me!

I don't currently have a URL to leave with you, but my email address is cnauricej@yahoo.com.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Carla
You have the last word, and there are many other post u can opine to on my blog feel free to do so..have a great weekend

Carla said...

Sorry...I'm just bored I guess. :)

I do post on other topics here...sometimes. Although I must admit, some things are out of my frame of reference. In those cases I keep those opinions to myself. But I do enjoy reading your blog all the same.

You have a great weekend too.

Anonymous said...

Jone, a real woman should handle her bidness if she does the asking. Don't give up, though, there are some real women out there. Please continue to comment on any future dates ... ur funny!

THE FABIAN said...

very interesting take on the matter of dating.

Nikki Wadley said...

Yep, the dating scene is whack!!

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