Monday, December 31, 2007

5$ on one

I will take this time to say that I’m happy to be making it to 2008. The other day I went to the gas station, I was waiting to pay for a Gatorade for my daughter and a newspaper. I was behind this dude who gave the lady $20.00. He asked for an assortment of lottery tickets, a task that consumed quite a bit of time since I was standing behind him, but I was patient.

He scratched them all of as I waited. He won nothing and said, let me get five on one. It made me wonder what his definition of depending was. To me, it would have ben more important t put all that loot in the gas tank with gas being $2.83 per gallon but he did not. It was obvious he depended, or at least wanted to win on the lottery tickets for his future. The way he purchased him, it was no logics but rather chance as he picked 15 different one dollar scratch offs. And he did it in such a way that let me know he likely did it in several gas stations he went too.

I don’t buy lottery tickets, in fact I would rather purchase a deuce-deuce with my dollar, but he had faith and depended on them. I can only depend on myself and some of my folks. I mean, I was reading what Mes dux cents said about faux heterosexuals. Se was right. But it a shame that I can depend on my boys before I can depend on any woman to the same level, at least outside of family. I mean, just the other day, I had to put my car in the shop (i'm car-less as we speak).

I asked a person very close to me if she could wake up a few hours earlier (had to be at work at 10:45) if they could meet me there and take me home before they had to go to work. She told me no. Now this is a person who I am always there for, helped them get a car, as well as helped them have a place to lay their head. And she said no, when she would never hesitate to ask me to do a similar act for her. I figured right then I could not depend on her and left it at that. I mean u do all you can for folk and they can depend on you but you cant depend on them. So I caught the bus home in the rain, counted my blessings and realized I could only depend on my boys and myself. So for me, I resolve in the New Year not deal with any folks that don’t treat me like I treat them. I also resolve to make my heart more kind and considerate.


I can’t believe that man, but I recognize his belief in the scratch off lottery tickets were no different in mine in people, expecting them to be there for me because I am there for me. But now I will not settle for less, when I give more or my all. Now I figure all of me or none of me and I feel good. Happy Nappy New Year. Who am I to question him spending five dollars on one and using 15 to get lottery tickets?

33 comments:

Mes Deux Cents said...

Torrance,

Wow; what an insightful post. You are soooo right about people depending on lottery tickets the way others depend on people.

I've never heard anyone make that comparison before.

I understand only too well about not being able to depend on certain people.

But I would ask; what does your acquaintances gender have to do with the fact that she wouldn't give you a ride?

braincell said...

mes - chk your email and let me know if u understand now

PAJNSTL said...

Happy New Year!

Hope you find more dependable friends in the new year!

MrsGrapevine said...

Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm a Scorpio, and not that I believe in astrology, but I am very loyal, and protective of my friends. I don't let too many get close because I demand the same of others as they do of me, and sometimes I can cut good people off, if they make the slightest mistake.

If you needed a ride, I would have been there hands down, and you probably wouldn't have to ask, because I would have volunteered. I guess being the only child, I am really close to my friends and will do anything in my will to help; I can't imagine anyone I call friend leaving me hanging be it a man or a woman. Pick the women in your life, like you pick your friends.

As far as the lottery tickets, sometimes the things we do, say a lot about ourselves. We many never know why he needs to believe that one day he will pick the one, the one that changes all his life. Life is hard and we all need something to believe in, something to help us escape.

Have A Great New Year!!!

Shelia said...

Thanks for stopping by and leaving holiday greetings, I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.

I hope that the New Year brings lots of joy, happiness and prosperity to you. Take care.

Oh, like the new page look! :D

Shelia

memphiz said...

Okay so I am dying with laughter I can just picture the man infront of you buying all those tickets, stuff like that cracks me up.

On the flip-side homegirl was wrong for that, I cant stand people like that ... you do for them but dont want to do for you, thats why I dont like depending on no one. But you did you!!

Thoughts of a Southern gal said...

It's so funny you speak about lottery tickets. I've never in all 29 yrs of my life have bought a lottery ticket. But that shat is about to change. This weekend a woman I know won the lottery. That's right, her and a another woman went in together and won the over $200 million dollars. Their checks will clear on Jan 4th. I've never known anyone to hit the jackpot. But damn cost is too much to spend 75% of your money on tickets.

I'm a loyal person and like doing for my friends and can't stand when my friends don't return the favor. Christmas Eve, two of my friends (M & S) came by my house. They left and went to M's house. My child finally went to sleep so now it was time to put together his motorcycle/big wheel until I realized I didn't have a hammer. I called M to see if S was still at her house b/c M only stays 5 minutes from me (M stays about 15 minutes away). I ask M did she have a hammer she said yeah then I ask S could she bring it to me house when she left to go home. This heffa said no. M was going on and on telling her it's more for my child but this heffa was talking about her gas light is on. M kept trying to get her to bring the hammer. I told M don't worry about it. M called two of her former neighbors (M use to live in the same complex as me) for a hammer. They didn't have one. M called me backed and told me should would "brave the cold" and bring me her hammer and she did. I told her she was a true friend and I love her for that. All I wanted was for my son to see his big wheel assembled under the tree when he woke up.

Didn't mean to blog in your comment section. LOL

Have a happy New Year!

Invisible Woman said...

Great post; I think you're resolve is on point in the new year...but I agree with mes deus, gender is not the root.

Sincere said...

what up folk!!
I was like you and had to learned the hard way not to depend on others... No matter how much you do for them, some people will never return the favor. they feel you owe them that or something.. and as high as gas is, that $5 probably didn't even touch the bottom of the tank!!!lol Hope you have a happy and prosperous new year!!

jali said...

I'm glad you learned more about that person's honor and character before you needed something that really mattered.

Happy New Year.

Mega Rich said...

Bruh, I do understand. It's a shame that people aren't willing to return the love. Most folks, I have come to realize, really think it is all about them.

Anywho, have a happy nappy new year yourself.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Pajnstl - thanks hon, i will. i dont loo for them I just expect them i mean key word is friends, i just know who are and who are not

mrsgrapevine - thanks thats a friend, dont have to ask - me only child too

Shelia - Thanks, just took a pic inside my library to replace the one on the deck

Memphiz - yep, patient is a virtue and football was coming on too, yep i think she was too

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

southergal - now thats the title of a post THE HEFFA SAID NO


Invisible- THANKS AND U RIGHT NOT A GENDER ISSUE MY BAD

Sin - U right too, some folks will never have home training and not dent with 5 in my pick up

Jali - yep, learned they had neither

Rich - good look i got the test be safe and prosper

Lisa said...

I'm late, but I'm chiming in anyway :) Been lurking. . . never posted!

I've never bought lottery tickets - rather have a chocolate cupcake and a root beer!

Would not have woke up earlier. . . would've brought you the car BEFORE I went to sleep, and let YOU wake up to come and take me to work. . . you wouldn't be disturbing my sleep!!! LOL!!!

Happy New Year and I love your spot! Insightful and honest!

Emanuel Carpenter said...

Hey Bro,

I live in a pretty affluent neighborhood where sport stars and other local celebrities own mansions. I once saw a millionaire football player buying Lotto tickets. The shop owners tell me the millionaires in the area are always buying lottery tickets. Millionaires!

I don't play the lottery but my wife does. I always tell her to just give me the money to flush down the toilet instead of her spending that dollar. Like a lot of folks, she only plays when the jackpot is worth millions (2 or 3 digits) of dollars as if one or two million dollars is nothing.

Like you, I hate to get in line behind the lottery players but shop owners love them because it adds revenue to their shops and if a customer wins, they get a cut.

Hope you're having a great new year!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

lisa - stop lurking and post more and send me your www link

Eman - i will, and hit the jack pot for me

jameil1922 said...

i just don't see the point in lottery tix. i'm very glad my parents aren't into them. if its less than 100 mil i'm not playing. and then i'm only buying $2 worth. getting rid of selfish people is really for the best.

"D" said...

I think the gift in giving is the extensions we give of ourself without ever expecting anything in return! I'm sure you notice how often times the ones we help never help us back..... seems to go down like that. However, when you give and extend yourself with the intent to give and nothing else, you will inevitably reveive. It is the law of vibration practiced by the ancient Hermes. The law of vibration states that what swings left must swing back right to the same degree and with the same velocity it swung left. When you apply it to giving, what you give will come back, just don't expect it to swing back from the receiver of your extension!

You see Raw Dog, every human being no matter if the admit it or not have the same fundamental desire we all share which is to be loved unconditionally, accepted and forgiven. When we engage with other than self, we must remember that both of us have the same fundamental internal desire for unconditional love, acceptance and forgiveness. Imagine if we all were to meet eachother with this knowledge in our hearts each time.....

If you can find it in your heart to extend yourself with love acceptance and forgiveness at every moment, even to your enemy, you are projecting out that law of vibration and if you are met with negativity one must remember that any form of negativity is simply resistance to right mindedness. If that person doesn't give back the same vibration, it isn't a rejection of you personally but rather them rejecting themselves. They are ignoring the calling of their own personal rightmindedness and you can rest assured that those vibrations they just threw out will also swing back to them. Some call it Karma!

Also, one must remember that an extension of oneself to anotha is never a loss of something. Quite the contrary, you must give love to get it, give acceptance to get it, give forgiveness to get it!

Happy Nappy New Year to you also!

Something to consider....
One Love,
Deanna

MsPuddin said...

Damn heffa couldn’t even give you a ride…I feel the same way I hate having the feeling that people owe me favors.

Happy New Years man, count those blessings, because that could be you standing in a gas station somewhere depending on a lottery ticket…

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

jamiel - we have to accept them, or else we'd be like hilter, but i wish we could

D - well im vibrating like a sinusodia wave. well stated as ususal. and u know what I fe about Hermes, its harmonics, but they stole it rom the Dogon.


MsPuding - thanks babe, and no, and she called asking me to do some stuf for her recently aint hat some feces. I cant epend on her but she posed to depend on me

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