Thursday, December 06, 2007

what would they say

My Boy Tone just lost his mother and my boy Smoove just lost his father. I couldn’t make Tone’s mom’s funeral, since it was in Oakland, but I checked on him as well as gave him his space. But I was able to make my boy Smoove’s father’s funeral.

Just looking at him comfort his mother and his children and his sisters made me understand why he was my boy. He was real and compassionate and creative. I feel that I would have seen and felt the same way if I was at Tone’s mom’s funeral.

I also started to wonder, as I listened to the service, what would my funeral be like? Would they say that I was a good person, that I was kind and giving? Would they honor that I was a hard working man, with a great work ethic, whom worked and provided for his family days up until my death? Would they say that my daughter had my eyes or that my son would have my smile and that thy both had the essence of my spirit? Would they recant that I lived a good life, that I loved living, loved life and loved others as I did myself, even my enemies?

What would they say, for I am not afraid to die, nor am I afraid to Live.

31 comments:

lea78 said...

I am sure they will say good things about you, I don't know you personally but you don't seem fake and flaky to me, and I can tell from the things that you write that you are a man of great character. If I were there just on the strength of being a fellow blogger I would say that you were a man who was deep as hell. The crazy thing is that i got caught in a funeral procession the other day and it was only 5 cars, I was like damn, I wonder how many people would show up to pay their last respects to me.

"D" said...

"What would they say, for I am not afraid to die, nor am I afraid to Live" --- this is powerful Raw Dawg!

Vibe with me for a moment....

Fear - Fear is the attachment to things we feel we posses. If I fear something, wouldn't you agree it is directly related to a suggested loss of something? For instance, if I fear death, isn't that actually not a fear of death because I do not know death. But rather a fear of the loss of attachment to the things and people that I do know in this life? So we cannot actually fear something that we do not know. When we experience fear, we should ask ourself.... What is it I am actually fearing? My answer will often have only to do with my thought of loosing something I do know or feel I posses!

When one understands the nature of fear, it's design, the fear almost cease to exist. Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting we never fear anything because fear was designed in us for a reason! This reason is known as the "flight or fight" state. For example: If I touch a flame and get burned, I make a registration of this in my mind. The next time I meet with a flame, my memory tells me it's nature which is to burn. Therefore, I should not be afraid of the flame but rather understand its function so my memory and registration can tell me the cause of the effect. Therfore when I meet the flame again, I am cautious. Feel me? We have lost touch with the nature of our emotions and we have all but manufactured conditioned responses from them..... e-motion is just energy in motion. It is designed to send a message to your brain, letting you know there is something there to look at. It is not something to fear!

It is good you do not fear death my friend, none of us should. It is one of the only promises we arrive hear with.... that is to say, we all know our form dies. However, it is only our form passing. Not our SPIRIT!

And on the LIVING part....lol... Each moment is a life of it's own. We must learn to meet those moments exactly as they are. Not with what we would like them to be. This is saying, not with the intent to supress or change the moment but to meet it as it is!

One Love,
Deanna

Sha Boogie said...

I wonder the same thing..what would people say when I die? I know one thing - I dont want to be buried because I am not feeling people staring down at my dead face. I want to be cremated and tossed to the sea.

Marshal Stax said...

I know of a funeral where the good Rev/Doctor/Biship/minister started actually dogging out the departed in the casket. After the service the parrishers kick his ass outside. Really. So lets hope he knows the love of T before he speaks.
Marshal Stax

One Man’s Opinion said...

I don't want a funeral. As selfish as that sounds. If there was a way to get around it, I would. Funerals are for the living anyway. Since I want to be cremated I am working on a way to have my ashes dumped by a stranger. I don't want my family and friends to weep over my death, but to celibrate my life. I know it's kind of weird, but hey...That's just me.

DEEZEE said...

I am in love with your blog!
http://triplerdeezee.blogspot.com/

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Lea - thank u, im flattered, i never looked at myself as deep as opposed to self reflective.

D - I agree, I dont fear or cant fear what I have never experienced, i dont even now wha it is

Sha - I feel ya.

One Man - u too, i always said i wanted a party with m high schol band playing the Horse and all of funkadelic's greatest hits - cause i used to give the zwangin parties back at the cut, flip town, memphis, jus ask my folks and no, u aint selfish

Marshal - then i ask you, was he good, a rev, a dr. or a bishop?

Deezee - so if my blog proposed to u, would u marry it LOL

DB said...

i like that statement at the end bro. but i'm not gonna lie...i'm afraid to do. more so because i haven't seen my kids blossom to their full potential yet, and i feel i still have responsibilities to full fill. plus, i don't know whats next. but to be truly unafraid of dying sounds like pure freedom.

very nice blog you have here Raw Dawg

SoCal Muchacha said...

I hope they'd say you were someone who invited not only thought-provoking discussions, but also spoke to life, in all its brutal pain and uplifting glory.

As for funerals, I've already told anyone and everyone that knows me that there better damn well not be some sad event (okay, truth be told I'd want them to be sad about me being gone...but just for a bit ;)), but instead a bash with friends, family, pets, tons of music (LOVE, LOVE, LOVE music, and "Three Little Birds" couldn't be played enough!), lots of stories, and loads of food. I'd be very disappointed if those thinking of me after I'd passed thought of me with sadness instead of laughing at some "typically me" memory we had shared. And as others have already brought up, I'm opting for cremation after my organs had been donated. (Ahhh, the thought of some right-wing, neocon, anti-choice, homophobic religious zealot, conservative living with one of my bleeding heart liberal, love and respect one another's organs, just brings a smile to my face. :))

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

DB - good lookin folk. I want to see my kids blossom, but if i dietoday, i wouldnt be mad, id know i loved them fully and did my all for them and would be happy with that. if u showing them what u say u are afraid of, then u the father beyound father for u love them as if each day is your last and desire to show them such-thats what im talking bout

socal - i know thats right, i want folks to smile when they think of me and say that mutha fuka was raw dag, the truth and laugh with me, and ill let a few zelots in the house, if they like funkadelic as much as i do

Don said...

*speechless*

Powerful bruh. Just real powerful emotion.

Be back 2moro after I sleep on it.

David Sullivan said...

I've thought about that stuff.

I did a post a while back where I wrote about my "Top 5" songs for my funeral.

I hope everyone get their drink on and has a good time.

No crying.

An "Irish" wake.

Emanuel Carpenter said...

That's the thing man. Death defines life. Life is all about what you do between birth and death. Knowing that we must die one day causes us to try to make the best of our lives. We don't know when it's going to happen but most of us hope it will happen because of old age and preferably without sufferring. We need to make the most of our lives.

What will they say at your funeral? Good question. I live by one rule that seems to help me understand what will be said at mine. I treat people how I want to be treated, loving them, caring for them, and respecting them as fellow human beings. If someone simply said I was a loving and caring husband and father at my funeral, that would be enough for me.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Twin(Don) - U get your rest folk, we need our warriors brains as fresh as possible


David _ an irish wake, sounds like fun, love, frolic and great whisky

Eman - I concur and i agree "If someone simply said I was a loving and caring husband and father at my funeral, that would be enough for me." But i would like the to add that i want folks to celbrate my life as opposed to commerate my death

Tony Stringfield said...

Yo Tee,

They would definitely have to say that you were one of the most influential, prolific, profound, dynamic,family oriented friend that has graced the planet and you will be forever known for you commitment to the movement of black people. And yes they will say that your daughter has your eyes and Tabhiti has your smile and characteristics. Stay up and alive black man. Peace

Emanuel Carpenter said...

I agree with the idea of celebrating a person's life as opposed to just mourning as long as you're not insensitive to the living relatives who may not be in the mood to party. I also agree that money should be spent on the living. It's known that I want to be buried in a pine box with a few words said at the grave site. Spending thousands of dollars on a dead person is ridiculous to me. I don't want to be cremated though because there have been too many people mistaken as dead who have miraculously breathed again. A cremation could actually be the cause of someone's death. I ain't with that.

I'm surprised discussions of after life haven't come up. I would really be interested in speaking with more people who have been considered clinically dead to ask them what they saw while they were out. It could be the key...

prioritybooks said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
prioritybooks said...

This was a great post! I have entertained the same thoughts. Marshal's post made me smile. But seriously I believe I know what folks would say about me. Funny thing though and I know this is weird, I have done so much in my 40years, that I wonder will my husband know how to shorten my accomplishments, or what would my family do without me? Those are the things I most think about other than spiritual issues. Thanks for sharing. Finally, death does scare me. I don't want to die because I love living. I know that's all our destiny but still I don't like it.

prioritybooks said...

Prioritybooks is Rose

Kawana Aminata Oliver said...

Sorry about your friends loss.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Tony Oh - god look, u my folk so i had to mention your strength as an example


Eman - right again, the family must come first and all the loot in my case, i would hope goes to a party, because u know in ga u pay to be cremated and they give u clay

priority - thanks for th drive by. And I agree with you louction, and do one of my books for your blog one day.....rose

Kawana Aminata Oliver - thanks for the blessing and the visit do come back

Eddie G. Griffin said...

The problem with looking at death through living hindsight, we look perfect in our own eyes. But will we look good enough to hear Him say, "Well done", or will we be too busy saying, "Lord, didn't I visit the sick and fed the hungry and cast out demons and done many wonderful works in your name".

With that said, take a second look into the largest room in the world- the room for self-improvement.

Aina said...

Ooooh, Brotha! Nice blog! Thanks for stopping by Suddenly Pretty earlier. My main blog, Pram 'N Cheese, is where I do most of my writing, though.

My heart goes out to you in your loss. Be the light and be well!

-Aina

Pro said...

Not being afraid to live here either. I've adopted Plies song, Friday, for this very reason as my living anthem: Lookin' for me in the streets I'm somewhere shinin'
Live every gotdamn day like it's Friday...

JerseyTjej said...

Thank you for leaving a link and having a strong blog. While I cannot say what they would remember about you...I can say after reading only 2 posts...he was a man that lived and cared. Peace.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

JerseyTjej - thank u for the humble words and te vist, i hope u return and become a regular

Pro - I heard that, im kinda the same. I was hit by a car and almost died, so i always say its not like being hit by a car when u walking

Aina - thanks hon, and do come back as well

Eddie - you are so right, i dont have tha problem though, cause i give of myself without expectation and love doin so

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