Monday, February 18, 2008


Jones, you know my granny Hazel died the prior week. And being such, folks seem to come out the wood works, in respect. A good thing, 99% of the time.

An additional disclaimer, I am a reformed Memphis mac, meaning that at one point in time, I ascribed to the “bone and disown” school of thought. Yes i was foul, but that was before I manned up to life and mutual respect for all, especially women. Check this, one of the past histories was a riend, female in gender. We said hello, that she said sorry about my granny’s death and said:

"You remember when I walked in on you and that BROAD in that Bar?"

I instantly went back in my head and said "yes."

What had happened was that we were dating. I think we were even informing one another of out love for each other. I had spoken with her earlier and informed her that I would call her back after I finished using the bathroom, but I did not. Truth was that I had spoken to another women before her and had planned to meet her at the bar. While there with her, the other young lady called twice and I intentionally did not take her calls.

Lord behold, if she did not walk into the bar a few minutes latter to pick up some food. Ironic thing is that the bar was a place that she had introduced me too in the first place. The woman I was with introduced herself to her. She was humble and did not make a scene and proceeded to take a seat at a booth in the corner as she waited for her food. I left the bar and with and set with her for a few. We spoke briefly but she didn't say much, except for to ask me to by her a drink. I made up some excuse, walking off and didn't honor her request.

After my date, I attempted to call her, but she didn't return my calls. I could not blame her, I mean before that time she trusted me. Although I understood then, now I really do understand. I did not apologize then and selected to blame her instead for coming by a lace she always stopped by.

I could not have meant what I said if I would do such a thing. I felt bad and I was busted. I tried to blame it on her, but the truth was i was the wrong one. Saying I was in a relationship with her, and meeting another woman, even if she was my friend, at a bar, and ignoring her calls. As a man, I should have just answered her call out of respect, and told her what I was doing, but I was a coward, a liar, and just tried to hide it from her. No matter what I said then she responded, "the eyes don't lie" and that "if it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, and talks like a duck, chance are it is a duck."

So now Im looking in her eyes and I say, "you were right, I was wrong and it was disrespectful."

So ladies and gents, tell me how bad was what I did, albet plus some 10 years ago, and was she right to not to call me anymore and did I get what I deserve. I guess I am asking, what whould u have done if u walked in on your partner, mate, girlfriend, boyfriend, man, woman, or lover, having drinks with another, when they intentiojnally ignored your calls, and how would you perceive such a person. In hindsight, she was a great person, and would have done anything for me.

But she obviously never forgot, should she have?



dejanae said...

the question i wanna pose to you is what would u have done if the situations were reversed?

TheophaniaPaige said...

Yeah, what you did was pretty bad, but like you said that was also 10 years ago. Maybe in some quest to not associate you with those bad memories everytime she sees or thinks about you, she might have brought the situation back up because she needed closure. Hopefully she got it so that if you see her in another 10 years she wont be saying "remember what happened 20 years ago?...".

We all do foolish things sometimes, and we've all been hurt a time or two, but there's a time to gripe about it and there's a time to just get over it.

Hope this doesn't make me sound insensitive, lol...

professor said...

i have a lot to say, but I will write as a post later today...I lived it, loved it, and made excuses for it...start with my post "reflections" and "reflections part deux"...I will break the whole thing down...

DollFace said...

I think she was very classy about the situation.

As for your question, I would lose respect for said person and doubt their feelings or intentions towards me. Having drinks with a friend is one thing, but being misleading about it is another.

We all make mistakes. As long as you learn the lesson and apply it to future encounters.

Mizrepresent said...

I would have probably behaved just like the sista you dissed. Because that's what it was a DISS. Disrepecting her by lying, pretty much ignoring her phone call and then found in the company of another woman, even if the woman was your long lost would be hard to believe...yep, we do make mistakes...but we get past them, learn not to do it again...just the fact that you are writing about this and questioning your past actions shows plenty growth, some mistakes make us better.

Exquisitely Black said...

I applaud her for how she handled the situation and also don't blame her for not returning your phone calls. Were you really sorry at the time? Were you ready to change then? Chances are probably not, so your friend did you both a favor.

Time does heal all wounds and luckily, most of us (notice I didn't dare say all) learn from our mistakes and mature.

CapCity said...

I say take the lesson found & move on - if the others involved chose NOT to move on...that's outta your hands. Karma's SOMETHING else, though!

The Bear Maiden said...

Hm. I think the chick who busted you handled the situation a hell of a lot better than I would have. So right there, you lucked out. The fact that she never forgot? Well, I ask you, as others have... how would you have felt if it was you? If you really cared about her, I mean, as opposed to just marking time with her. The other day on my blog I said that chances are pretty good if a woman is spending significant time with you, it's because she cares, since we know time is not ours to waste.

But men don't have that problem... can hang out with a chick for years.

I know that when it was me, when I was the one who found out I was being lied to (and I lived with him) I cried for a year. I lost 20 lbs and a whole bra size in a month. I never got over it... 15 years later and I freely admit that it's the one thing I never got past. Yeah, I should let it go... he did. He ended up marrying her and having 3 kids, but I never ever was able to let go of that little dragon's egg inside of me, and I can't say that I ever will. Nene has my heart for sure, but not the core of me.

But... you earned points for saying "I'm sorry, I was wrong". I think it probably did give her the closure. Because the dude I mentioned... I've corresponded with him since then, but he's never said he was sorry. And it's not that I need him to, but it would be nice. So you get props from me. But it doesn't excuse anything, and don't do it again :).

Anonymous said...

If i may be honest, it doesn't appear that you had a relationship with this woman. For a relationship means respect for the other person. I do not care if you were meeting a friend (female) for anything, even to pick up some books or papers, if you had respect for her, or valued your relationship with her, you would have answered her call. But you knew you were wrong and trying to be sly or sneaky. She handled it better than I would have. I would have thrown your drink in your face.

It does appear that you were humbled then and now. The lesson is do not take those who care for you for granted - as you did her, Great post for a man to open up and admit his short comings.

n'Drea said...

T, what you did was straight-up wrong, but what I love about your confession is that you recognised that you didn't act honourably, and said as much to the young lady by apologising. We all make mistakes, but the important thing is to learn from them so that we won't repeat them. What I'm hearing now is a man who has grown and matured. It's who you are now that counts, not what you were or did in the past.

HTH. :)

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

dejanae - I would not have liked it. Especially if I had felings for her.

Theophaniage - Closure is good. But I understand her. I was hit by a car, and I will never forget, although I am over it, u feel me. I think she was over it, I just reminded her of it. Love and care are action words, not words you just say.

Profesor - cant wait to read it.

Miz - yep I dissed her, and nothing I could have aid would have made up for it. Yes, I have grown. But the reminder made me feel bad, for my actions

Dollface - so true. But even if it were my friend, respec would have made me take her call, love, concern and care for her would have lead to the same thing. I cannot make any excuses for it. I was wrong.

Exquisitely Black - Yea, i wouldnt have returned my calls either.

Cap - Karma is a MF

Bear Maiden - well siad. I said I was sorry, and meant it. I know some folks won't say they they are sorry, or admit to being wrong, or even have others lie for them. So if i comes from one of them types, i wouldnt belive a word they said

Anon - I agree, a relationship is based on trust and honesty, i was trying to be slick, no honesty or respect in that

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

N'drea - yes I was and was man enough to admit so.

Rayo said...

Well I'm glad that you learned from your mistakes. I think the girl was justified in not calling you back. And like Dejanae said, what would you have done if the same happened to you?

Skoolboi Krush said...

In the time since that incident you've grown and matured and that is the important thing. You can't go back and erase history. She must have been really hurt to bring that up 10 years later but you never know what will stick with you. Maybe she was trying to match her hurt with yours.

memphiz said...

damn "say it aint so mister , say it aint so" lol... honestly I know that people would think I would blow up...but I would of did the same thing. I would of said whats up to ya'll and went about my buisness.

Now don't get me wrong I would of been salty as hell! and it would be something I wouldnt forget!

You should of told the truth but we live and learn.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Memphiz - yes i was foul nd would not apreciate it

Skoolboi - i think u right, i hurt her, but was too selfish to admit i did and too selfish to even consider her feelings, or how she perceived it, i told myself that she was crazy to make myself feel better

Rayo - i did, she was kind, honest and sincere and would have done anything for me, even without me asking

"D" said...

Peace Torrance!

In this day and age, we are conditioned to want MORE. More of everything. It seems we want to always have our cake and eat it too. When you we in this part of your life, would you not agree that your ideals of finding a “good” woman had more to do with quantity than quality? Why? Because we get bored, tired of the same ol thang and we want more, something different. I just bought some new shoes but in a couple weeks they will be old and I will desire a new pair, something more, something different. I have only had my car for a year and when I first got it, I was rollin it like it was the nicest ride in the world….. but now… it is used and I see the commercials for the new rides and I want a NEW one, something more, something different. We all do this to a varied degree with varied objects of desire and unfortunately we don’t treat people any different. They have become like the objects we purchase and discard. Maybe you didn’t buy her a drink because at that moment, she was not the BROAD you we tryna spend your moment with and why purchase something I have already had before? I may buy the same outfit again but best believe it won’t be the same color….but more importantly it will be something more, something different.

Feel me?

We manifest this behavior in all areas of our lives because we are so quick to discard something when it no longer fits our needs. I avoid pain and seek pleasure. Pain can be boredom from the old and pleasure can be a high from the new. We are all the same in nature just vary in degrees.

Take this example…….. I meet a new woman and she is interesting. She talks a good talk and I sho wish I could see her walk the walk. So I engage…… but I want something from her. Maybe even unbeknownst to me……but I want something from her. She interests me and I find her attractive even if mentally so we communicate. I get hot over the stimulation of my mind by her voice and the things she says and now I want to feel her physically. So I invite her to lay with me because I DESIRE her. She responds and it begins….. the moaning, the soft kisses, even to the backbreaking finale. But what I forgot in all of this was that I didn’t even wait to see if she got hers. Why? Because I am not concerned with her, I was after my own gratification the whole time. I mean, I kissed her and I broke her back…..what more could she want? Right? And furthermore…..I GOTZ MINEZ!!!!!

There was no reverence to the her……only to the ME. I never intended to give her what a woman needs from a man except some DICK. So I leave and when she calls, I have two choices, I can take her again (if she allows) or I can see my own behavior as not only detrimental to the her but also to the ME. Why? Because at the very essence of the SELF is the desire to be loved. We all want this because we don’t already know and have not seen that we already ARE love. We cannot fulfill the emptiness inside by accumulating possessions, people or things. We can only fill that emptiness by being AWARE of our SELF. Because our SELF is the love that we want and desire from the people and things we consistently try to accumulate. Only when one becomes aware of the SELF and the LOVE that the SELF already is…….. only then can they begin to ever relate to anything outside the SELF.

In reference to the DUCK comment…….. she was simply saying that one will reveal their nature of intentions to you when you observe them. Not with the intent to suppress or change them but just in observance. She needed not to cause a scene, she is a lady, she didn’t need to prove her case to you because you had not yet seen your own behavior and she certainly would not have been able to alter what you were doing because one has to see it for their SELF. If you cannot see it, you are telling the other that you are not worthy of relating to them. Not because you yourself are not worthy but because your mind state is not aware. You have no reverence for her because you have none for yourself.

A woman is the help…..MEET of a man…… not the help MEAT.

She is your equal, not your subordinate. If God created man in his likeness which he shall call ADAM, then WO-MAN is in his likeness alike and you cannot have one without the other. Everything in nature has a polarity. Everything. She is the nurturer and deliverer of the life seed you plant. How could something so majestically designed be beneath you? She cannot and you cannot be beneath her. You are equals in the nature of things.

Our society is conditioned to make a mockery of women. It has been conditioned in us to view her form as an object of desire. You see it on every TV channel, every magazine, every web page…… everywhere. Some bare their goods, some just show a picture of their lips but in all, they are sending a signal of the IMAGE they have been taught to portray. Something sexy, something more, something different. No form, neither male nor female can deny what their minds are thinking because our thoughts are what drive our emotion into action. If one is aware, then they can see it in it’s totality.
We all reveal ourselves to each other in our actions. The problems come in when we are not aware of the SELF, therefore we do not see it.

I say the young lady was correct in her assessment of the situation at that given point in your life. It was not safe for her to attempt relating to a man who was only seeking gratification, weather physical or emotional. I would say she is right for not having forgot it. One doesn’t forget that a flame burns, right? And if you come in contact with that flame, you are liable to be hurt. Flames, like all fire have the ability to dwindle and burn out, it is a matter of how much life is given to such flame. Translation= we all are capable of change.

Only when two souls are looking in the same direction (enlightenment) can they see things from the same view.

One Love,

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

D - all i can say is DAMN, u need a church, im not like that any more, infact will go without as opposed to practice bone and dis own again

Aunt Jackie said...

a little over ten years ago I walked into a bar and saw my dude with another chick and acted a damn fool. Shot glasses were thrown, who was probably a nice little blonde girl was pulled out of her seat by her hair and told to go home while he and i had it out! I mean really really had it out, I'm surprised I didn't get put out of the establishment for all the glasses I threw and my foul language.

Looking back that was a breaking point for me. I'd heard about cheating lying men before, but I'd never encountered one as my own and although I'm a mature woman in my mid-thirties I'll never forget what it was like to act like a screaming banshee, who felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.

Now I understand that commitment is case by case, as is trust. Men and women alike are having it their way, lying, cheating and stealing time from one another and treating each other as though they were only sexual partners with no hearts.

It is why I am more prone to keeping my legs closed and eyes open when it comes to men, because talk is cheap and action speaks. Small things can really hurt our trust in the opposite sex and aren't always quick to heal.

On another note I don't find it ironic that she was calling you, that was intuition on her part and had you answered the phone you would have known she was headed your way, so it was clearly a lesson to be learned by you both!

Sorry for the long comment!!

Curious said...

Hmmm. Is there anything left to be said? Trust, loyalty, respect all good stuff thats been mentioned already. Perhaps most of us only learn about it as we get older and gain experience.

So then all I would say is once you have determined for yourself that you've made a mistake, as long as you learned from it, apologized and not kept repeating it then what more can you do?

And I think that could apply to almost anything.

Nicole said...

You definitely did her wrong and know it...hence, you admitting that the words you spoke to her (about love and respect) didn't match with your actions. I can understand her cutting off all contact; I had a similar situation and severed all ties because I realized there was nothing to be said that would make me feel better and the guy (like you) was too busy trying to point fingers at everyone but himself. The fact that she expressed regret over your grandma's passing says that she's forgiven on some level, but her asking about the incident may mean she's still wondering why you did what you did. You can also see it as your opportunity to do what you hadn't done yet...apologize.

ThePoliticalCat said...

Hey, dude, I caught your comment on my blog belatedly today. So I thought I'd come by and wave. I dunno about teh grrl - I don't forget when people diss me, tho I do forgive. Maybe she's just not ready to forgive you yet.

I hope to god you're not really in Afghanistan - things are looking bad there.

i.can't.complain. said...


we don't forget much.

even if we're able to forgive and move on.

we don't forget.

which is why sometimes u'll see a most beautiful woman with what seems to be everything going for her.

but if u get close enough to really look into her eyes...

u might catch a faint glimpse of some sadness.

i got side-tracked.

that happens.

but, yeah u made a mistake.

and in the grand scheme of things...

u learned from it.



Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

i.can't.complain - yes i did and im a better person and man for it

Political cat - that was a while back, they canceled trip as for you stated reasons, and it was medded up on my part

Nichole - she was always that kind of person

Curious - i toyed with her trust, loyalty and respect and that was foul on my behalf

aunt jackie - so true, but im sure women do it also

Doug said...

Different world, you and me.

Just me, my wife, and my old girlfriend. I don't have any other baggage. I was never the kind of guy women looked twice at, so I never had to deal with any of these kinds of challenges.

The old gf and I had a bad breakup, mostly my fault. We're friends now, and I've tried to apologize to her, but she's not interested in that. She thinks since nearly 30 years have gone by, it's silly to apologize for something when that person doesn't really exist any longer. I see her point . . . but sometimes I wish she would have just accepted the apology. Apologies are for both people, you know?

Jaded said...

Well, not being honest with someone in your life is never a good thing. There's nothing wrong with meeting a female friend in a bar, if you're honest with your significant about your plans. Even if the other woman was just a friend, you made it appear otherwise by not telling the first woman. And if it was more of a date situation, that's even worse. Lying AND cheating.


You apologized then, or attempted to. She chose not to accept your calls and therefore your apology. For me, harboring that resentment for a decade is mostly her problem. If I wronged someone 10 years ago and tried to apologize then but was rebuffed, that person doesn't get another bite at the apology apple. He or she made their choice and they have to live with it.

I don't agree that an apology is always for 2 people. Sometimes it's very self-serving. It's not up to me to absolve you of your guilt or responsibility if you did something wrong. I won't harbor resentment for a decade, but that doesn't mean we're cool, either. It just means that if you did me wrong and you feel bad about it, you probably should. But I am a grown woman. What happened in the past is in the past. Clearly this woman expected an apology from you 10 years later, even after she refused one at that time. I think it was less about needing to hear it and more about forcing you to own up to it. I think there's a difference and I think it was vindictive. Just my opinion.

jalishouse said...

I've done some real dirt over the years and I've been hurt as well. Many of us are in the same boat - we learn and grow and move on.

Hopefully the young lady will get over this soon. 10 years is a long time to dwell on an incident that (when looking over the sins of the world) really isn't THAT deep (IMO).

I don't think she chose the appropriate time to discuss her feelings at all - she was there to comfort you - not to be comforted.

I don't always answer my phone - I don't think it's a crime at all.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Jali - i have learned and mtured

Jaded - did not offer or try t apologize t the time, insted I blamed her

Doug - u a lucky man, keep that relationship with your wife tight

Tony OH said...

You're a greater man now as a result of this situation because you're reflecting on your past mistakes and have amended them with kindness. So don't feel bad, we all have made mistakes, that's why they put erasers on pencils.
Now write the next chapter in ink!

PrettyBlack said...

10 years ago? Damn Bro you were...I ain't gonna age you out but, you should've known better, real game is lettin' 'em all know and then letting them make the choice to stick around. But shit it's not like you were her husband...she needs to get over it.

My mom always told me when hubby and I were dating that I was not married, and I could see who you wanted.

As long as he respected my time as mine and I the same for him we didn't sweat the other shit.

SOS band said it best...I don't care about your other girls...just be good to me.

Meg said...

Oh dude, that was bad. Man up and tell the ladies the truth. It causes much less damage, for all concerned.


Anonymous said...

Strange, but it seems as if this is coming straight from your heart. You seem not the type of person to do this. But if you did, and u did not apologize then, she should have been mad for a few days or weeks. But I don't think you understand, I think walking away from her and going back to your date was the bad thing. That is what an evil, ungodly and mean spirited person would do - sounds like you were using her, were you?


Don said...

I liked this post all-mi-t

But I don't want to talk about it, cause it brings back too many bad memories of my mental patient baby momma...

Don said...

I do agree that such adversity makes a person better than they were before. Wise.

Bernice said...

It is great that she presented herself as a classy lady. It is apparent that she did not deserve you at that point in your lives.

Personally, 17 years ago, my "friend" of a mutual physical relationship had gotten engaged and did not tell me. I was informed casually by a friend, his co-worker, who had no knowledge of the nature of our relationship. Initially I was "pissed". Not because of his engagement, but because he did not respect me enough to tell me; I was somewhat interested in another guy at the time, anyway.
It took two months before I had the nerve to call and confront him. I kept my cool. His excuse was that, "I thought that you would be mad." Go figure!

My satisfaction came four months later, when he called me back. The engagement had been called off.

I am thankful that I saw his true nature before emotions became too involved. Years later, I met someone who has had the upmost respect for me from the moment we met. We have been together for 13.5 years.

Note: A few years ago, I ran into my former "friend". He said that he had tried to find me in the past to apologize for his treatment of me during our relationship. He did not find me because I was married and had a new last name. Go figure!

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Bernice - you are right, he did not deserve you. For value and respect should be shown all the time, especially to one you consider your man or woman or significant other. You are truly a classy woman

Don - whats up with the baby moma mental stuff, we may need to exchange stories

Anon - i guess i was using her, i had to if i did not respect or appreciate her feelings, i guess i took her for granted

Meg - u are right, it was bad. thanks for the drive by and do return

Pretty - what can i say, the young black male PHD, memphis mac, i wasnt settled but i can say I have never cheated on my woman, or wife, or girl friend. she was up to getting to woman status and i blew it

Tony Oh - good look folk

guerreiranigeriana said...

@ dejanae: damn you're good!!...great question...

@ sir stephens: i'm sure you've heard this statement/phrase while romping around in naija: 'you don fuck up!'...yeah, you fucked up...i would have probably reacted the same...except i tend to be the type to completely cut you off, like don't talk to me when you see me-blame it on my moon in scorpio...but, hopefullu you learned from men...*shakes head*...

Anonymous said...

Heartless. Love, you could not have loved her, for love would have made u answer her calls, love would have led u to go out and have drinks with her insead of some BROAD. Love would have had you call her back after you used the bathroom like you said. And I agree with MiMi, you walked away, your should have brought your drink and sat with her if you loved her, instead you walked away, not even buying her a drink when she asked. Well it is like they say, you never know what you have until it is gone

Ms. Jackson said...

Kudos to that woman for handling it the way she did. That had to make you feel worse. I hope I never have to deal with a situation like that, but I hope I would conduct myself the way that she did.

Samii Styles said...

Im with Ms. Jackson, she must have been one classy lady. Too classy for you, lol! You could've bought her a drink at least!

Anonymous said...

Yo God, Malik . LMAO. That was foul. I know you, she was expendable, like your days at D House, you didnt love her. LOve is action not words, I bet you may have lied to her a number of times before that and didn take her cals when you were out on the troll LOL. Godd question though, how would you feel if it happened to wen back and set with your date, God, not you. LOL. No, that wasn't Love, you were using her

Blah Blah Blah said...

I would make sure he saw me...made it so he had to acknowledge me...

Then I'd leave.
I'd be done.

I guess I am like that because if I did that to someone...I'd expect the same treatment...for them to be done with me.
I can recognize my fuck up's..I don't try to put blame. I'd apologize but I wouldn't try and get the person back in good graces. I knew the consequences.

None of us are brand new to this game. We know our boundries...or foul lines.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

all - so true

Malik - is that u jones, hit me up, and u knoe stil don answer calls restricted or from numbrs i dont know LOL

msladydeborah said...

I have had this happen to me and I must say that it just made me more determined to try and make better choices.

I hate public drama. I try not to make a damn fool of myself in the company of strangers. Which has probably kept me from ending up in the women's prison over the years :-)!

When you become wise~the things that happened in the past open up in our thoughts from an entirely different perspective. What seemed to be the right thing then~is often seen as some kind of wrong later on.

What I like about this particular admission is the fact that you admit all the head trips that were working then and now.

Celebrate your growth as a individual. There are still plenty of people who have not been able to admit that they were wrong.

Marleaux said...

See men, I don’t understand, sometimes, yall just don’t think about things in a full 360. You went to her spot on a Friday night at 750, knowing she goes there every Friday at 800 to get her some wings… It wasn’t any other spot you could have taken that ‘broad” lmao. Like John Legend says, “sneak to DC for just a day or two” Meaning, we’re going to drive about 50 miles down the way and kick it, instead of displaying the other chick on his girlfriend’s front porch. Like, if it was me, I would meet up with some1 in Vegas. I go there 4 times a year, so it’s not out of the ordinary and my boyfriend hates it, so he never tags along. But that’s how a woman thinks. And that’s why we never get caught… Actually, that last line pertains to my girls, not I.

But, dayum, that was foul: you couldn’t even buy her a drink? And you still tried to call her afterwards. She’ll probably never forget that experience. Doesn’t mean she isn’t over it though. I’m sure every time she has a girl’s night out, your name is mentioned in an unsavory way. I have a few that I still talk about, but no hard feelings attached, just funny, yet pitiful stories.

But since you said “she was kind, honest and sincere and would have done anything for me, even without me asking,” do you think she could have been the one to quench your penchant for commitment.

GiGi - The Shy Giraffe said...

interesting post torrance (yes i'm late on personally, i can forgive but i don't forget. but hey, you were young, virile and what my momma would say.. just not many men will admit being wrong, but you did and that's a good sign in my book.

Televisiontraci said...

Better late than never. I think the ability you have NOW to see what you did and admit that it was wrong comes with age. Sometimes maturity shines a light on our mistakes when we were younger. Not everyone matures at the same rate.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

msladydeborah - thanks. I have grown, and i will make better choices, i know if it hapened to me that i shuld stay away from such a person

Televisiontraci - i agree, and games are for children.

Gigi - i do consider myself a man, and thank for the kind blessings and words

Marleaux - so is that an invite to Vegas LOL. "couldn’t even buy her a drink? And you still tried to call her afterwards" yep foul, i cant add to what u have to say

Anonymous said...

I just hope you were not stupid enough to call her back and tell her you loved her.....that would mean you thought she was stupid

Dusty said...

Obviously the hurt was deep-seated for her to bring it up 10 years later.

I judge no one lest I think for one minute I am perfect..which btw..I surely am not. ;)

FLIMFLAM said...

Personally, I wouldn't have said anything. I would have picked up my food, given some eye contact and bounced! I'd then wait on her to mention it and continue with my daily/normal life. If she doesn't see fit to ever mention it again, I'm at fault for being in a relationship with a woman whom isn't ready for me.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

anon - wasnt that stupid LOL

Dusty aint that the truth.

Flimflam. -True. I should have told her instead of having her walk in on me. She could have kept al of her good actions for someone who apreciated and deserved them

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Flimflam - tell me , what u do in denver, with Tiaa-Cref, they made me a lot of loot