Friday, February 27, 2009

you not gone leave me are you poppa

As a parent, a father, there is only a few things we desire to see with respect to our children, namely to smile and be happy. Last night I was placed in a difficult position. I was leaving the shop with my son and we stopped by the co-op in our county. It is not like the regular grocery store since they only buy and sell what is provided by farmers and growers I our area. I only stopped to get some prime rib, to cook and some potato bread since we only had one loaf left.

As soon as I turn the corner I saw my daughter and her mother, or should I say my daughter with her Patty Labelle-esque lungs saw me. She let it be known that she saw me calling “Daddy and Biti, I wanna go with daddy” at the top of her lungs. This on one of the days she was with her mother since I teach two Statistics classes on Monday, Wednesday and Friday at a local University. I attempted to calm her down when she asked me to hold her and pick her up, and indicated that she wanted to go with me. I knew that she would not be able to go home tonight and I suspected she did to for she followed me up and down each isle with me, as she asked me “are we going home?”

Now for some reason, my daughter considers my house our house. Well not for some reason, I know why and it is because I have basically raised her our entire life until over the past several months when her mother started to step up to the plate. She since birth has been with me basically every day, morning and night. I potty trained her; I cooked for her and took her to school with me when I taught and even taught classes with her sleep in my arms as I lectured. We were at every baseball, basketball and football game my son had; not to mention with me each day as I was building out my store for dogs.

And although her mother saw her as a burden, and loved to party and hit the streets during the first two and a half years of her life, I do acknowledge that she loves her daughter. But I also must admit that if my daughter had a preference she would not spend one ounce of time with her. That alone saddens me. For she needs her mother as much as she needs her father.

Jones mane, you don’t know how I felt; like a coward, hurrying up to pay for our purchase to get out of the store so my daughter would not see me. As I was at the register, I could still hear her back by the dairy section calling me, saying to the top of her lungs I want my daddy.

By the time I got home, her mother had called. I called her back. She told me that she was still crying and asking for me although I could hear her in the background. As I spoke to her she calmed down a little but any answer short of me not coming to get her then was not gonna be accepted. I told her I would get her the next day and she said “come and get me now poppa, I don’t like mommy’s house, I wanna come home. When you get me, you not gone leave me?”

If I could, I would have preferred to die and kill myself as opposed to hear her pain. In the car my son was even sad, asking why we don’t just take her with us. I had no answer, but I do know now why she hugs be so tight, and grabs me whenever we are together, and more importantly why she always ask “You not gone leave me are you poppa?”

Addendum: Post #600 and If I don’t like and vehemently speak out about the Court Opinions of Clarence Thomas, is that Thomas bashing, and does that mean I am not supporting another black man? If not, why is such called Obama bashing if one disagrees with his policies?

83 comments:

Lovebabz said...

HAPPY 600TH POST!

Kayos said...

Happy 600th!

I wanna say I'm very sad for you as a dad who wants to be with his daughter but can't because of conflicting schedules.

I wanna applaud you for being the dad ALL men should be.

It isn't Obama bashing when you disagree with stuff. Obama bashing is when you're constantly doing it and not seeing reason in ANYTHING he does. Same goes with Clarence White! Ooops my bad. Clarence bashing.

Folk said...

happy 600.

D@mned Dawg... this post tugged at my heart. However, I'm proud of you being man enough to handle it like an adult. Your daughter will one day appreciate what you've done.

My grand parents raised me and I remember when I got old enough to take care of myself, my grand mother said it's time you get to know your mother. We (grandparents) wont be here forever and you need to know her (my moms).

I didn't understand at the time and was really sad. but now I understand why and what she did. My grandparents are both gone, but I have an active relationship with my moms.

NightFall914 said...

Powerful Post.Keep doing what your doing.

Congrats on the 600th Post.

KevinsTeeTee said...

Happy 600th!

I know the feeling of having preference of parents. My dad was an abusive (verbal) alcoholic and when my parents separated he wanted to spend time with me and my sisters. Reluctantly we would go, but since he had already violated our trust by his previous actions we always longed for our mom to come and pick us up.

I think for us it was a matter of being with someone who you know will be there for you and is a source of security as a child. And that could be the same situation with your daughter. And yes it is a good thing to know her mom, but at this point in her life she doesn't understand why she really needs her to be a part of her life.

And it I know it hurts you to have to "reject" her wishes in order to do what in your mind is the right thing to do. I applaud you for doing so because good father's are so few and far between.

KevinsTeeTee said...

I forgot to add, nothing wrong with criticism as long as you provide an alternative remedy for the things that are plaguing this country. I think Obama needs to have a fire lit up under him so he doesn't just go all over the place.

Red Snapper said...

Happy 600th Post!!!

"The Lady" says that is a sure sign that you are doing what a father is desired to do. I appreciate the closeness of your family. Lil sweet-n-sassy loves her poppa.

*cyber hug*

Lique said...

600 posts!WOW!go u!

This is a case we dont hear too often yet it is very much relevant in our society.I had some parent issues as far as the household situation etc,my dad raised myself along with my twin brother on his own for quite some years.I applaud you.

You know that as a father you would like your daughter to have both parents be a factor in her life,its going to be ok.Best of luck with that situation and that her mother can get things together with the 2 of them so it is easier.

Little Miss Knobody said...

Happy 600th post!
I agree with the majority. This was a excellent post! I was really touched by the part where you said that it saddens you that your daughter wants to spend most of her time with you versus her mother. That in itself is very admirable. The sad truth is that some parents like the fact that their child has a "favorite" parent and will use that in any way possible.

Mizrepresent said...

Congrats on the 600th post. A child love is so precious...and i feel you so much on this post!

heather said...

maybe it's cause i'm a mom who has an 8 year old daughter who spends so much more time with her dad due to my work schedule even though we all live together. there are several days a week when i get her off to school (she's seriously ~not~ a morning person so this isn't usually a pleasant time)and she's sound asleep when i get home from work.
for whatever reason(s) your daughter's mom wasn't around much in the begining but as you said, she is trying to step up to the plate now. (you have to start somewhere) what went through my mind while reading this was how painful it must have been for her. at least your pain can be tempered with the joy of knowing that your daughter loves you to pieces. your daughter's mom doesn't have that to balance it. hopefuly she is commited to becoming the best mother she can be and will use this as a catalyst to try to do even better in the future.
in the meantime you have the added responsibility to not only provide for and care for your daughter, but to try to remember to discuss the positive things about her mom with her and to do what you can to not tear her mother down in front of her. it's going to become more and more important for her to have a positive female role model as she gets older. in an ideal world that will be her mom.
i wish you all luck in making that happen.

jjbrock said...

Happy 600th! This post tugged at my heart in a powerful way. I never experience the love of an earthly father but, to read about how one would respond to their daughter is great.

ms. bliss honeycomb said...

i could write a book in response to this...

as she gets to know her mother, she'll probably settle down, but i can completely understand how you felt. she looks like a sweetheart. :-)

i would imagine that my half-sisters felt the same way about my dad when my brother and i came along. their mom & my mom had issues, which is why i pretty much don't know them now...

just keep talking her through the changes and let her know she's loved. unfortunately, you can't know how this might linger in her mind, but over time, i'm sure she'll understand.

good luck, and congrats on the post.

BuelahMan said...

You are the Man, my brother.

You love your little one just as I do mine (and I, in turn, respect and love you for that).

Have good weekend,

Raymond

Sha Boogie said...

wow...that really tugged at my heart strings! My man's daughter is the same way -- throws a fit every time she has to go back to her mom's house and begs to live with us. All that means is your doing an awesome job as a dad.

Nicole said...

happy 600th post!
argh....i have a lump in my throat!
im very close to my pops, and not being able to see him now, and when i was younger use to....i dnt know if my comment is necessary, but everything my dad says and what he's done for me will never go unappreciated!
frm what i've read..
u r a blessing =D

MP said...

Awww what a beautiful post. The love a young child is unmatched.

Vee (Scratch) said...

Very touching story, really cool piece.

Angel said...

Sorry that you have to see your daughter that way I know you are doing the right thing!

Craigjc said...

Wow, it's amazing how little babes show us grown-ups how wonderful love is.
Great post.

Craigjc said...

Wow, it's amazing how little babes show us grown-ups how wonderful love is.
Great post.

Shy said...

Congrats on your 600th post!!! Wonderful!!

And OMG! I know your heart was hurting...I can only imagine. But that is so wonderful that she loves you so much. I can definitely relate because I am SUCH a daddy's girl!! So sweet!!!

Have a good wknd!

Kenya said...

I can understand how it hurts you to hear her begging to go with you but she will grow to appreciate the time spent with her mother. The right thing isn't always easy to do.

Re: Obama bashing. Disagreement is not bashing. Disagreement/not being content is how to make things better. Obama himself said he doesn't want people around him who agree with him on everything. If everyone agrees there is no progress.

Here's a good article on group think: http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_82.htm

Sheliza said...

600 posts?! WOW, what an accomplishment! I really love when you write about your daughter. you can certainly see the mutual unconditional love that is there and can't be messed with. Keep being that father to her and watch her succeed and be happy :) Much love folk ♥

YoungBlackBeauty said...

This almost brought me to tears. It reminds me soo vividly of how I felt when my parents spilt up. How I only got to see my daddy, who I loved very much, a fews times a month. I never wanted to leave. Never wanted to go back home to see my mom kissing some other man. I watched the tears on my dad's face each time he dropped us off, not sure when my mother would let him see us again. Torrance I'm positive ur the worlds best dad to ur lil girl. Just do what u can. She might not understand now but she will soon than later.

Happy 600th!

Untouched Jewel said...

OMG, I almost want to cry. Very touching story. It's sad that some parents shy away from being what they need to be to someone they brought into the world.

I don't care what people think, DAUGHTERS NEED THEIR FATHERS! I'm so glad to say that I at least know someone who loves and appreciates his daughter with every fiber of his being.

P.S.: your daughter is so adorable. LMAO@ Patty LaBelle-esque lungs.

Good post from a good and caring man and father.

Soulstress said...

wooooooooooooow...happy 600th!! Here's to 600000000 more;)

I cant imagine the pain u musta felt re: ur daughter. But in time she will undrstand...tho it is painful..havin 2 parents in ur life..as long as their doin rite..is a great thing.

Dana said...

ahhh that hurt me! My son's father and I are still together but we don't get along well. My son can feel the vibes and when i leave to simply go to the store he begs me to take him. The need to leave with me is so urgent...its not like "mommy i wanna go cause im spoiled" but rather "please dont leave me with him". So I can only imagine how you must have felt to still hear your beloved reaching for you. Ouch!!! Sending you hugs from a mother who says fuck the world when it comes to her son!!!!

Gigi said...

That is a tough one. I was once that lil girl, crying for my daddy.

I will say that as a positive your example has set a really high bar for the men that will inevitably enter her life.

As for Obama. I think he needs a little more scrutiny.

rainywalker said...

All children have those fears. When my daughter was one she used to eat my Jello and was my little baby. She's still my little baby but just turned 40. Your a good man.
Happy 600th post!

Words For Hire said...

I can only imagine your pain and am so sorry that you had to make that choice. I know many brothers who are raising their children, yet their stories so often go untold. The court system, media and society seem all too willing to cast fathers into a villain role. Thank you for speaking up and sharing the love and pain you experience as a parent.

Congrats too on the 600th post, keep writing and sharing!

Karen

The Real Ginger said...

It's great that your daughter's mom has come around.
It's even better that you decided to write about it.

Congratulations!

Rchelle said...

aww this is a touching post...it sorta gives me insight on what handsome went through for 14 years...being with his dad and his mother no where in sight.

your a great father though, i can tell the lil one is a daddy's girl! =] btw she is sooo cute!

Rchelle said...

oh! lol happy 600th post! and could u give me ur insight on a post i just did?

blackgirlinmaine said...

This hit me in the heart, I have been doing the joint custody dance with my now 17 yo son for more years than I care to remember.

I know that pain of your child wanting to be with you and they need to be with the other parent,. In my case, I had to obey court orders to send him to his dad but when he was young, it broke my hear to have him tell me he didn't want to go.

I do hope your daughter can learn to enjoy her time with her Mama.

Raw, you are one heck of a man...

SoCal Muchacha said...

Awww, Torrance, you had me right there with you, feeling the same things you were. :( (And I don't even HAVE kids...well, only the 4-legged ones...but am the most incredible and awesome Auntie Lala on earth! ;)) As everyone else has said, you are doing this for all the right reasons and as your baby girl ages she will appreciate what you've done for her. My folks divorced when I was young, mom remarried, dad didn't, but I know full well the feelings of either not wanting to go (with one or the other) OR not wanting to leave...and the guilt. As long as you make sure your daughter (even at her young age) understands why things are the way they are (little ones can so easily misunderstand things--think an adult is mad at them if they aren't with them...that they did something wrong, etc.), and knows that you love her with all of your heart, and that you would LOVE to be with her 24/7, THOSE are the things she'll hold onto when the times arise when she can't be with you. We all just want to know someone loves us and misses us. :)

And major congrats on 600, my friend. :)

boukman70 said...

Damn, bruh,

Here I am celebrating my first alone-time in almost a year this weekend. Then you drop this story on me. Now, I admit that, as a stay-at-home dad, I do have some estrogen issues, but you got me wanting to cry and hug my little girl.

Happy 600th!

Gorgeous Geek said...

*Tear*

Your daughter is soooooo CUTE =]

msladydeborah said...

It is not difficult for me to understand why lil mama may feel a different bond with you. You are the one who has been there for her since she was a baby. That is one of the most critical bonding periods in a human beings life experiences. I bet that she is a female mini-you already.

One of the problems that I see in how we are parenting now is the way our children are moved between parents. I have no doubt that the movement causes some painful moments for everyone involved. (I'm drawing from personal experience)

As your baby grows she'll have that awesome task of figuring out how to be a daughter to both of her parents. There will be times when she won't respond as you desire or as her mother desires. Even though she may love both of you fierecely in her own way.

Before I comment on the Obama portion of your post, I'm having a sidebar about the booklist. When I read yours I cracked up laughing. I read all of Anais Nin's books. When I looked at your list I realized we enjoyed some of the same writers.

Now on to Obama. If we cannot critize him for policies then there is a problem. We are depriving him and ourselves of the equality portion of his presidency. I have no problem with realistic criticism. Bad policy is what it is. But if we want him to truly be an American President then being critical of him is part of his legacy. I like him as POTUS. But there have been some moments that I find questionable. As far as Clarence Thomas is concerned-no matter what opinions are heaped on him they roll off his back like water on a duck's back.

Clifton said...

I'm feeling this post. I have two daughters ages 5 and 3. The only thing I get to do without them besides work these days is take a shower. I don't know how brothers can do without that. It's empowering.

Jackie E. said...

What a moving post. I feel for you but your daughter's anguish speaks to how great a job you've done being there for her, raising her, loving her. All you can do is continue to be the awesome dad you've been already. She's a lucky girl!

Kait said...

i love the way you talk about your children , i just love it.

p.s your short stories kept me smiling thee whole way thru !!

Bubbles said...

I grew up without my father which is why I'm interviewing women all over the world for my next book. I needed my father and he may never understand that. Growing up I was never ashamed to say I grew up without my father but I was ashamed to say that it’s because of him that I have some of the issues that I do. Now that I'm growing up, I understand that he couldn't be there for me because he didn't know how. Currently we don't speak and I’m not sure if we ever will. I agree that a child needs both parents. I walk around this world and I see so many women raising children alone. I think to myself where are the fathers? I once met a man who was a full-time father and man it blew me away from that day on I refuse to believe that a man can't raise a child alone. I'm not going to give you props because you did what you were suppose to do take care of you children. I just wish there were more men like you. You may never know just how much your little girl is going to benefit from your presence. Forgive me for trying to promote but this post meant a lot to me. I'm trying to reach out to women who would like to share their story.

[Emeritus] said...

dang!

paisley said...

i applaud your willingness to allow her mother to step up to the plate, albeit showing up a bit late for the game.. could i have done so in the case of my own children,, come late to the game as i say,, i have to wonder how all of our lives would have been different,,, excellent post.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Lovebabz
thanks folk

Kayos
thank u and poor clarence lol

Folk
thanks folk, and yep graqndparents the hearet and soul of our community

NightFall914
thanks folk and have a gr8 weekend

KevinsTeeTee
thanks for your support and you experience saddens me as well and where u been. and the 2nd comment is my [point exactly]


Red Snapper
thanks for the hug and how is lil momma folk?

Lique
y thank u maam and i only do what any parent would

Little Miss Knobody
it is the truth, that makes me sad
and thank u maam

Mizrepresent
thanks hon and i know how u look at my lil one when u see her lol


heather
thanks sister, and she is doing a good job thus far and i know she will be a great mom but it hurts here when my daughter does that u know

jjbrock
dang every one should and we men need to step up our game, guess in throw back or old school

ms. bliss honeycomb
thanks and i would love to read that book

BuelahMan
thanks big bruh by one year and u know thats how family is for us

Sha Boogie
thanks babe, i am hoping i am - all on the job training

thanks to u as well sister - i want to be what i can for my seeds so i try and love

MP
i appreciate it folk i really do

Vee (Scratch)
thanks and feel free to visit here anytime folk

Angel
i hope so sister and how are things in England?

Craigjc
thanks man - out the mouths and via the actions of babes

Shy s
thanks i wanted to committ hari kari (sp)

Kenya
thanks and well said about obama

Sheliza
thanks sister and like the way u use folk jones

YoungBlackBeauty
dang and thanks babe, i wondwer if that what my lil momma feels and see's

Untouched Jewel
thanks babe and yep she can BLOWWWW cant wait to start her voice lessons

Soulstress
yep 600 and thank u fam

Dana
thanks sister and just have faith and love without reservation as im sure u do

Gigi
thanks sister when u big daddy stopping back by shop?

rainywalker
thanks u warned me about lil girls a long time back lol

Words For Hire
thanks and i agree a lot more are taking care of biz than is observed

The Real Ginger

Rchelle
thank u maam, 14 yrs huh...i have raised my son his entire life and i will


blackgirlinmaine
thanks sister - u flattr me

SoCal Muchacha s
thanks babe i hope u are right i really do

boukman70
men cry too and hug her as much as she can dads love is the best

Gorgeous Geek
lol ui say that each time u see here how is the new tat

msladydeborah
thanks babe i just want her to love her mom as she does me and respec her and her feelings

Clifton
thanks my felllow father - keep that bond super glue u know?

Jackie E.
thanks hon, i mean exhibit number 1 lol

Kait
im glad i wanted to cheer u up could have emailed me and said u got them folk lol


Bubbles
i dodnt need props and thank u but there are a lot of us out here folk

[Emeritus]
how ya been folk

paisley
thanks sister i appreciate that

clnmike said...

Happy 600, and no it is not considering bashing another black man so long as your arguement is based on the issues and you provide a reasonable alternative solution.

Ness said...

Wow....tht's so cute and sad all at the same time...but it's the reality of single parent homes nowadays.

People r having kids while being single so unfortunately, it's like that for most kids....

Well at least you're a loving father to your daughter. :)

nicki nicki tembo said...

That's stellar parenting right there bro. I appreciate and respect stand up parents such as yourself. The fact of the matter is that not everyone makes a good parent and many of us have to take up the slack - no need in berating anyone. Fret not, in time momma and lil momma will be swaying like a metronome.

We gather things up, place things in order and behold the blossoms.

Dallas Black said...

Great post....definitely tugs at the heartstrings...

stay strong!

DB

Rich Fitzgerald said...

Be strong black man, be strong. It's all to the good.

Happy 600th

Miriam said...

That was a rough scene. Can your daughter sit in your Stats class?

When I took statistics, it was in a large auditorium, if that is how your class is, then she wouldn't be disturbing.

4GOTTEN1 said...

As much as it hurts maybe it's a good thing because it's giving her a chance to get to know her mother better. It's hard now but it will get easier for her maybe even fun. Little girls always love daddy most though that's why it's so hard to get her to want to be around anyone else including her mother.

Wow 600 damn I need more motivation i've been doing this forever and i don't think I have broken 50.

Anonymiss said...

You've got a great relationship with your kids.

I envy your daughter. I used to have a bond like this with my dad. Unfortunately, we've been estranged for nearly 5 years.

VAR said...

Happy 600th post Torrance! Man, I aint been around your very enlightening and incredible spot in a minute but it's good to visit on this great occasion and to also read such a beautiful post about your daughter.. That's gotta weigh very heavy on your heart but as always you handled it like the true champion you be..

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

clnmike
Thanks man, when u gone make it to my shop u in the atl folk

Ness
thanks hon i hope i am

nicki nicki tembo
i hope she turns out to be a fine flower and thank u maam

Dallas Black
thanks jones, appreciate it

Rich Fitzgerald
thanks bruh u know i will try

Miriam
she has been in a few sitting next to me but she distracts students they be makinmg aw aint she cute sounds lol

4GOTTEN1
thanks man, yep get busy and write

Anonymiss
thank u im sad to hear that sister

VAR
thanks folk where have u been and whats the latest book - its snowing in palmetto as i type. thanks folk

Nikki Wadley said...

Maybe one day I will be able to experience the unconditional love that children so willingly give. You are both blessed to have each other.

Anonymous said...

I'm teary eyed. Wow, that is very powerful. I'm sorry you had to say bye in the store. Children have no sense of "tomorrow." She just wanted her dad. How beautiful?

Sista GP said...

Happy 600th post, seems like you just had #599, time flies LOL

This post brought tears to my eyes as did yesterday when I talked TO my son about his recent behavior/trouble. I wanted to make it clear to him that no matter what he's done, he will always be my son and I will always love him.
He lept into my arms and cried. He said he thought I had loved him less since my niece was living with us. I could not help sheding a few tears also.
I hope his release of emotions means he will stop this train he's been on. if not, hopefully the threat of jail from our local po-po yesterday will.

buttahflychronicles said...

You did the right thing, and made me cry in the process. They don't call them growing feel-goods now do they?

My dad is about to be 64 and I just turned 36. I don't want him to get any older because itt causes me to think the exact same thoughts your baby girl voiced. So I guess this means that as long as you keep being a loving father, she gone always feel like that.

Linda said...

Wow.. what a post. I can't begin to feel what you did.. all I know is that it's very admirable -and not at all usual anymore - for a dad to be so involved in the lives of his kids..

Does she get to choose where to stay when she's 12? (They do that around here)

Greetings from the netherlands!

Veronica Wright said...

*cry*

are you not the best father in the world!?!?! (besides my own daddy..lol) I wish that more men were like you. The women of the world would be much better off for it.

I applaud you because the song of the single father has too long been unsung!

happy 600th!!!

Erin Michell said...

My heart broke just reading this but know that your daughter's reaction to seeing you was a testament to the unconditional love you give her on a daily basis!!!!! When she is older she will remember and appreciate the amazing father she has :-)

Dusty said...

My son calls his father the "sperm donor".

His dad was never a part of his life other than knocking me around the house. That didn't last long if you know anything about me...but I digress..

Lil Momma obviously considers you the primary parent. That it hurt you to tell her no broke my heart as well.

Dusty said...

And another thing...

I am tired of everyone screaming racism when anyone disagrees with a person of color.

Many of us are color blind..and being a brown bitch, I know the feeling of racism.

Clarence is a tool..and it has nothing to do with his color...it's his pov.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

600 and every one a gem!

In are career of mediocrity, possibly the stupidest remark Clarence Thomas ever made was calling the hearings "a high-tech lynching."

He could have done some good by using it as a teachable moment and explaining the context of his inappropriate remark. To the best of my knowledge very few if any high schools in the USA explain in the basic American History classes what lynching actually was.

From Reconstruction through probably the early-mid 1960s, "lynching" was Botha, Hitler and Pinochet's "security" policy turned into a spectator sport and twice weekly FAMILY event for Whites. Tailgate parties, BBQs and Christian Revival exercises accompanied a full evening card of extra-judicial torture/murder.

It was so repulsive that in a way the politically-motivated murders of Chaney, Goodman and Schwerner were almost understandable. The Nashoba Klansmen/sheriffs didn't appreciate the organizing work the three men were doing so they were beaten, killed and hidden by the Sheriff of Jackson County. Perhaps, because two of three were White they were not kept prisoner and added to that weekend's OFFICIAL lynching program.

There's the context for Clarence Thomas's "cleverness." And if I'm not mistaken in a weird twist Biden voten for Thomas in committee and on the floor and Heflin voted against him and against him.

No matter what the stripe, I'm a big believer in "Never Again." Unfortunately, Obama doesn't see it exactly that way vis-a-visa Arab Americans. And less so for Arab Arabs. Somehow, a promise to close GITMO "in a year," and an Iraq withdrawal plan of all US service people except for the "peace-keeping" and Embassy force of 50,000 doesn't exactly sound like how they did it in 1975 in Vietnam or 1991 in Iraq or twice in the 1990s in the former Yugoslavia. The time to go came and out they went. So, by my lights that would make FORD/WESTMORELAND, GHWB-41/SCHWARZKOPF, and CLINTON/CLARK somewhat more decisive and humane than OBAMA/PETRAEUS. Am I wrong?

Sister Girl said...

This blog really touched my heart because I'm a "daddy's girl" all the way. I know exactly how that baby felt & that had to have haunted you hurrying away.

Let me say as a child whom was raised by her father ALONE after the sudden death of my mother, that I appreciate you being the MAN that you are to have selfless love for your child.

If you think she loves you now, just wait because it only deepens as the years carry on !!!

RunningMom said...

My son never cried for his dad, but when he was about 4 or 5 he asked me "momma is my daddy dead?"

That's when I knew it was time to try and incorporate dad back into his life.

Age 13, I'm still trying. It's better than it was, but still not great.

Love & Congrats on your 600th post

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Nikki Wadley
thanks hon and i know u will one day

Anonymous Anonymous
that was so sweet of u


Sista GP s
thanks cuz, i know how u must have felt

buttahflychronicles s
he will alwyas be in your heart sister


Linda
i dont know about that i think so

Veronica Wright
thanks momma. u taking care of you and the new one to come?


Erin Michell
thank u honey - i try to do my best

Dusty
thats sad to here for u and your son. and im glad u agree on the last point

KELSO'S NUTS
thank bruh and well said Thomas is an anal pore

Sister Girl
thanks sister and i look foward to it

RunningMom
that is so sad babe and thank u very much

ChocolateOrchid said...

Happy 600th post!
Wow, you've been on this grind awhile. Congratulations!

Man, I was about to cry reading this. I must say though, that it's good to know that you are truly a "father".

Katrina said...

You are a wonderful father! Bless you!

T.C. said...

I can only imagine...

olu albert said...

Im your number fan Dr. Stephens! You are my role model.., you such a remarkable human being. Im currently working in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia..hope to see you when Im in the US.

Folks, Dr.Stephens lectured me Research Methods at the Morehouse School of Medicine. Im priviledged to have been one of his students. He is, still is, a remarkable human being.

Olu Albert

Tammy said...

The world needs more men like you.
Another amazing father/blogger is:
http://www.mattlogelin.com

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

ChocolateOrchid
thanks and dont cry hon pls

Katrina
thank u babe

T.C.
yep


olu albert
thanks scholar do be safe


Tammy
thanks sister

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