Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Mr. Rodgers Neighborhood

Wanted to have some fun today, so I regressed back to a time in my childhood after school when I rush home to look at Mr. Roger’s neighborhood, before I go and spend the rest of my time before dinner outside playing. Mr. Rogers was a cool cat. What I liked most about was that it was he who introduced me to the concept of pretend, or what he called make-believe. True, I did pretend and make believe before that, like when I was in trouble and would make believe I wasn’t, or would pretend that if I was, I could sleep it off. But he used to make believe we could go to a place just by riding a toy trolley. So in honor of my beloved satire, I’m finna pretend that I am taking Trolley and that when I get off I will be President of the United States. I am also gonna pretend that I am holding a press conference, here goes.

VOICE: Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States and His Press Secretary: Roulac.

PRESS SECRETARY: Good morning, as you know, the President has dramatic changes planned for the next four years. I will keep it brief; I just want to say that his first forms of legislation were penned last night and signed into law in the form of executive orders. I will read them. Executive order 150000 -Tell it like itis.

WHEREAS telecommunications is vital to the security and welfare of this Nation and to the conduct of its foreign affairs;

WHEREAS the radio spectrum is a critical natural resource which requires elective, efficient and prudent administration in the national interest;

NOW, THEREFORE, as President of the United States and Commander-in-Chief of the armed forces of the United States, and by virtue of the authority vested in me hereby established that all news commentators have to have their political affiliation on screen each time they speak; in addition, if they feel like it they can curse on air without reprimand.


The second is Executive Order 150001- We don’t get down like that. In summary, we have reinstated the rules of duels to settle all political disagreement in the house and senate. You all have received copies of these two Eos in your briefing packages. Now we will open the floor to questions. Yes, Bob.

BOB: We know that the president has not named a NSA director as of yet, any names and what’s the hold up?

PRESIDENT: Let me take that folk. I have decided that I will serve as NSA director and President. I feel that I will save the tax payer money as well as would be the best person for the job.

PRES SECRETARY: Yeas, Joan.

JOAN: We have heard reports that have been on the phone with top executives of Wall Street banks, what was the nature of those discussions?

PRESS SECRETARY: Well the president feels strongly that a lot of these people, albeit not criminals, are crooked. They requested an additional $200 billion in funds for support. I will read the presidents response to their request. “Suck my mother funkn dick.” Next question. Yes, in the back. Your name?

RICHARD: We have been told that the President is planning a trip to Iran. What is the nature of this trip, and does he plan to engage in direct talks with the current president of Iran?

PRESS SECRETARY: Well the President has requested that Iran stop all nuclear activities and allow a team of multi-national inspectors in to examine all nuclear facilities. However the President of Iran rejected this request, so the president challenged him to a chess match and a boxing match to settle all differences.

RICHARD: This is so unorthodox, isn’t this proposition risky?”

PRESIDENT: Not really, but I understand your concern. So I will ask for 25 good American to fly on Air force one with me to have my back. And albeit it is possible that he can whoop my azz, I don’t believe it. So we as gentlemen have decided to handle this in the old squared circle.

PRESS SECRETARY: This concludes today’s briefing – good day.

Yep, that would be how I would run this camp. Long Live satire.

32 comments:

Lovebabz said...

Ha ha ha! That is really funny!

However there is more truth in this than satire if you were the President....LOL! *wink*

Veronica Wright said...

HA! I agree are you just claiming satire because you aren't the President at this time?

:-p

KevinsTeeTee said...

You have no sense! lol I miss Mr. Rogers...sometimes on my off days I watch his re-runs...good times man!


I'm sure if you were President stuff would get done...:)

2sweetnsaxy said...

Funny. :-) Now that would be "change".

Thanks for dropping by my blog. I've been neglect with a lot of my favorite blogs, like this one. I think I'm spread to thin. Will try to stop in more often. I miss your brain. :-)

blackgirlinmaine said...

See, that's what I am talking about. Now that would be some change we could all see and believe in as I am starting to feel the new hope and change train is not as radical as I once believed.

Good post!

Amber-Alert said...

LOL...i bet u were a bad ass lil boy...so u would just run around slapping people with gloves challenging them to duals huh??

Red Snapper said...

Hey Mr. President........consider me "The Lady" on that AFOne gig.

Neckbones (yuck) and Melagro Silver whenever you like....

*hee hee*

Kiarah C. W. said...

That boxing idea was cute. I like that. :-) and Mr. Rogers was my favorite two even though I denied it for years! lol Trolley was the best!

msladydeborah said...

LMBAO!

HA! HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!

This is the first post that I have read after coming home from a truly fkd up day at work.

I needed a good laugh!

I especially like these parts.
The second is Executive Order 150001- We don’t get down like that. In summary, we have reinstated the rules of duels to settle all political disagreement in the house and senate.

I have long believed this is what leaders who want to go to war should do with each other. It would cut a whole lot of bullshyt out.

But the last part--that was the most hilarious to me. When I read this part:And albeit it is possible that he can whoop my azz, I don’t believe it. I had to laugh out loud. I can imagine how stunned any leader would be to hear the POTUS talk to them like that.

Sista GP said...

Addendum to Executive Order 150000: Rename FOX News to GOP News.

Addendum to Executive Order 150001: Each duel must be up close and personal. To facilitate this, the weaponry for the duels is limited to only those that require direct contact, such as swords, knives, and even hand-to-hand combat. This excludes, guns, slingshots, spitballs, i.e. no distance attacks.

amynicola_ox said...

haha this was really amusing.
thank you for the comment on my blog, i didn't know you wrote books - i shall takea look - happy black history month to you aswell.

Tamara said...

I like your style... very interesting!

rainywalker said...

RDB,
I always wondered what kind of drugs Mr. Rogers was on. It would be interesting to see that press conference. Even the Congress doesn't have fist fights like they did in the 19th century anymore. I would pay showtime $29.95 a month to see that again. At least we would be getting entertained while getting ripped off.
rainy

boukman70 said...

As per your request, you've been blogrolled. Feel free to return the favor, if you like.

www.bootynovelbill.blogspot.com

Urban Thought said...

Man, if all things were possible I'd like to actually see this happen.

ChocolateOrchid said...

Bring back "duels, a chess match, a boxing match"?.. Hilarious!

nicki nicki tembo said...

you and Ahmadinejad going fisticuffs, my money's on you, dudes eyes too close together to be an effective boxer. Not sure 'bout eithers chess game.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

Jones: Go back and read up on the Reverend Dr. Fred Rogers. I assure you, you will be extraordinarily impressed.

Pick an area of public policy or education and Fred Rogers was way ahead of his time on it. Shit, his old shows for kids is so far ahead of what's going on in American politics and religion today it's a fuckin joke.

He had a folksy way of speaking because he grew up in a small town in the interior. The show was meant was aimed at very young children, so, of course, it sounded silly to older ears.

The words, though, the words. The mise-en-scene and the concepts were all about each person's life being no more or less valuable than anyone else's. The were about community and about the legitmacy of your own thoughts.

As a teenager I'd laugh my ass off when he'd take off the loafers and put on the sneakers, but I'd usually stop laughing once it got down to the theme of the thing.

In a time of a lot of anti-war voices, Fred Rogers, outside of the studio, was one of the strongest. And he was never about MARKETING his religious beliefs, only about what he believed to be universal goodness.

Tai said...

I love Mr. Rogers. That was a cool ass show.

rawdawgbuffalo said...

Lovebabz
lol how is the ambassador to Luxemburg?

Veronica Wright
would never run, i curse too much lol

KevinsTeeTee
lol not me and none what so ever - sense

2sweetnsaxy
we good folk glad to make u smile

blackgirlinmaine
thank u sister

Amber-Alert
my momm and granny said so lol

Red Snapper
now thats what im talking about

Kiarah C. W. s
trolly was gas efficient too lol

msladydeborah
lol sounds like i made yopur first read a pleasurable one

Sista GP
hahaha u wilder dana dana

amynicola_ox
y thank u maam

Tamara
thank u too hon do come back

rainywalker
lol that kind of pay perview would get us out of debt - and likely shrooms

boukman70
good look folk whats your ne3xt book about?

Urban Thought
me too

ChocolateOrchid
thank u sister

nicki nicki tembo
id close his eyes with a few jabs all the way then

KELSO'S NUTS
he was the truth indeed

Tai
sure was and how ya been folk

heather said...

now that was a joy to read. thanks for that. i've been in need of a lift. :)
having said that, i'd be calling to ask you to make that 'swear if you gotta' rule an after 8pm for free tv, cable would be free to swear all they want, whenever they want.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

heather
any time sister u know i have to get my laugh on

P_LOCA said...

ahhhhhhhhhhhh! you are so freaking talented you know that Mr. Torrance?
I remember Mr. roegers too lol
GREAT POST!

Untouched Jewel said...

That was the best pretend satire of being POTUS. Loved it. Had me cracking up laughing.

Bougie Applebum said...

Good ol' Mr. Rogers. Oh how I miss thee. lol. How funny.

Why did "make believe" sound so much better than the word "pretend"? The man was truly ahead of his time. lol

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

P_LOCA
any time sister

Untouched Jewel said...
y thank u hon


Bougie Applebum
lol yes he was

look said...

情趣用品, 情趣, 按摩棒, 跳蛋, 充氣娃娃, 情境坊歡愉用品, 情趣用品, 情人節禮物, 情惑用品性易購, A片, 視訊聊天室, 視訊, 視訊交友網, 免費視訊聊天, 情趣用品, 情趣用品, 情趣, 情趣用品, 台北情趣用品, 情人節禮物, 情趣用品, 情趣用品, 情趣, 情境坊歡愉用品, 情人視訊網, 成人用品, 免費A片, 情色文學, 免費A片, A片, 免費視訊聊天, 威而柔, 情惑用品性易購, 色情遊戲, 情惑用品性易購, 辣妹視訊, A片, 徵信社, 情趣用品, 情趣, 徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 情趣用品, 情趣用品, 免費a片, a片, 免費av, 色情影片, 免費a片, a片, 免費av, 色情影片, 情色, 情色網, 色情網站, 色情, 成人網, 成人圖片, 成人影片, 18成人, 情趣風情, 中部人情趣網, 台北情趣用品, 情人節禮物, 成人情趣用品, 一夜情趣用品情趣, 情境坊歡愉用品, 情人視訊網, 美姬成人用品, 情人花束, 按摩棒, 情人歡愉用品, 情趣用品, 性感睡衣, 免費視訊聊天, 視訊交友網, 美姬圖影, 紅煙論壇, 交友聊天室, 海角七號, 寄情築園小遊戲, aio交友愛情館, 美女視訊, 色情A片, 視訊交友網, 情境坊歡愉用品, 情趣, 情趣, 貸款, 免費視訊聊天室, 美女視訊, 成人, 免費A片, 免費A片, a片, 情色貼圖, 成人網站, 情色電影, 情趣用品, AV女優, 情色交友, A片下載, 美女視訊, A片下載, 視訊交友網, 自慰套, 情色文學, 一葉情貼圖片區, 視訊交友網, 視訊, 情趣用品,

look said...

情趣用品, 情趣, 按摩棒, 跳蛋, 充氣娃娃, 情境坊歡愉用品, 情趣用品, 情人節禮物, 情惑用品性易購, A片, 視訊聊天室, 視訊, 視訊交友網, 免費視訊聊天, 情趣用品, 情趣用品, 情趣, 情趣用品, 台北情趣用品, 情人節禮物, 情趣用品, 情趣用品, 情趣, 情境坊歡愉用品, 情人視訊網, 成人用品, 免費A片, 情色文學, 免費A片, A片, 免費視訊聊天, 威而柔, 情惑用品性易購, 色情遊戲, 情惑用品性易購, 辣妹視訊, A片, 徵信社, 情趣用品, 情趣, 徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 情趣用品, 情趣用品, 免費a片, a片, 免費av, 色情影片, 免費a片, a片, 免費av, 色情影片, 情色, 情色網, 色情網站, 色情, 成人網, 成人圖片, 成人影片, 18成人, 情趣風情, 中部人情趣網, 台北情趣用品, 情人節禮物, 成人情趣用品, 一夜情趣用品情趣, 情境坊歡愉用品, 情人視訊網, 美姬成人用品, 情人花束, 按摩棒, 情人歡愉用品, 情趣用品, 性感睡衣, 免費視訊聊天, 視訊交友網, 美姬圖影, 紅煙論壇, 交友聊天室, 海角七號, 寄情築園小遊戲, aio交友愛情館, 美女視訊, 色情A片, 視訊交友網, 情境坊歡愉用品, 情趣, 情趣, 貸款, 免費視訊聊天室, 美女視訊, 成人, 免費A片, 免費A片, a片, 情色貼圖, 成人網站, 情色電影, 情趣用品, AV女優, 情色交友, A片下載, 美女視訊, A片下載, 視訊交友網, 自慰套, 情色文學, 一葉情貼圖片區, 視訊交友網, 視訊, 情趣用品,

oakleyses said...

coach outlet, michael kors outlet online sale, nike air max, tiffany jewelry, michael kors outlet store, michael kors handbags, christian louboutin shoes, tory burch outlet online, prada handbags, kate spade outlet online, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet, christian louboutin outlet, christian louboutin, nike air max, gucci handbags, louis vuitton handbags, michael kors outlet online, prada outlet, jordan shoes, burberry outlet online, coach outlet, ray ban sunglasses, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet online, chanel handbags, louis vuitton outlet online, red bottom shoes, louis vuitton, oakley vault, ray ban outlet, kate spade outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, nike outlet, longchamp outlet online, tiffany and co jewelry, burberry outlet online, nike free, polo ralph lauren, longchamp handbags, longchamp outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, true religion, louis vuitton outlet, coach purses, coach outlet store online

oakleyses said...

timberland, true religion outlet, burberry pas cher, vans pas cher, air jordan, barbour, nike air max, michael kors canada, louis vuitton, louis vuitton uk, nike blazer pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, louis vuitton pas cher, air max, sac michael kors, lacoste pas cher, nike roshe run, guess pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, nike air max, north face pas cher, tn pas cher, nike air force, nike free, longchamp pas cher, true religion jeans, north face, hollister, nike free pas cher, sac louis vuitton, lululemon outlet online, air max pas cher, new balance pas cher, hollister, oakley pas cher, nike roshe, ralph lauren pas cher, scarpe hogan, ray ban uk, chaussure louboutin, michael kors uk, ray ban pas cher, mulberry uk, longchamp, ralph lauren, hermes pas cher, converse pas cher

oakleyses said...

chi flat iron, ugg, ugg outlet, uggs on sale, asics shoes, p90x workout, vans outlet, herve leger, celine handbags, valentino shoes, replica watches, lululemon outlet, giuseppe zanotti, ugg boots, nike trainers, ferragamo shoes, jimmy choo shoes, soccer jerseys, wedding dresses, mont blanc pens, soccer shoes, mcm handbags, beats headphones, north face jackets, ugg boots clearance, reebok shoes, canada goose, abercrombie and fitch, north face jackets, instyler ionic styler, mac cosmetics, ugg soldes, nfl jerseys, ugg outlet, insanity workout, babyliss, canada goose outlet, canada goose outlet, birkin bag, bottega veneta, new balance outlet, canada goose outlet, longchamp, nike huarache, ghd, hollister, uggs outlet, marc jacobs outlet, nike roshe

oakleyses said...

swarovski uk, thomas sabo uk, gucci, vans, baseball bats, air max, moncler, pandora uk, pandora charms, louboutin, swarovski jewelry, replica watches, converse, juicy couture outlet, converse shoes, moncler outlet, karen millen, ugg, canada goose pas cher, canada goose, montre femme, louis vuitton canada, wedding dress, lancel, ralph lauren, parajumpers outlet, iphone 6 case, uggs canada, juicy couture outlet, hollister clothing, oakley, supra shoes, canada goose, moncler outlet, moncler, pandora jewelry, coach outlet, timberland shoes, nike air max, moncler, moncler, hollister canada, moncler, hollister, canada goose, toms outlet, ray ban, links of london uk