VOICE: Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the
PRESS SECRETARY: Good morning, as you know, the President has dramatic changes planned for the next four years. I will keep it brief; I just want to say that his first forms of legislation were penned last night and signed into law in the form of executive orders. I will read them. Executive order 150000 -Tell it like itis.
WHEREAS telecommunications is vital to the security and welfare of this Nation and to the conduct of its foreign affairs;
WHEREAS the radio spectrum is a critical natural resource which requires elective, efficient and prudent administration in the national interest;
NOW, THEREFORE, as President of the
The second is Executive Order 150001- We don’t get down like that. In summary, we have reinstated the rules of duels to settle all political disagreement in the house and senate. You all have received copies of these two Eos in your briefing packages. Now we will open the floor to questions. Yes, Bob.
BOB: We know that the president has not named a NSA director as of yet, any names and what’s the hold up?
PRESIDENT: Let me take that folk. I have decided that I will serve as NSA director and President. I feel that I will save the tax payer money as well as would be the best person for the job.
PRES SECRETARY: Yeas, Joan.
JOAN: We have heard reports that have been on the phone with top executives of Wall Street banks, what was the nature of those discussions?
PRESS SECRETARY: Well the president feels strongly that a lot of these people, albeit not criminals, are crooked. They requested an additional $200 billion in funds for support. I will read the presidents response to their request. “Suck my mother funkn dick.” Next question. Yes, in the back. Your name?
RICHARD: We have been told that the President is planning a trip to
PRESS SECRETARY: Well the President has requested that
RICHARD: This is so unorthodox, isn’t this proposition risky?”
PRESIDENT: Not really, but I understand your concern. So I will ask for 25 good American to fly on Air force one with me to have my back. And albeit it is possible that he can whoop my azz, I don’t believe it. So we as gentlemen have decided to handle this in the old squared circle.
PRESS SECRETARY: This concludes today’s briefing – good day.
Yep, that would be how I would run this camp. Long Live satire.