Monday, August 18, 2008

serving the needy

addendum: my folk at 5 and a possible asked me to be guest bloggger. here it is weapons of choice.

127 am and I get a call from a friend. Her car has broken down. She asked I could come and get her and I didn’t want to get up, but she, a single parent of two, with both kids in the car encouraged me to man up to my responsibility. I drove from where I live to the highway which was near my exit, picked them up, and drove them to Henry County. I was home by 3am, and it is a school night, and I have to be up at 6, to fix breakfast, get lil momma and take son to school. So I’m in the shop at 730, which I leave at 8pm.

I guess she needed me, and could depend on me. Which made me wonder about both these strange concepts – depend and need? What are they? How are they different? And why me? I mean, my aunt, whose mother, my grandmother died in February said she needed my help in the form of some money this week past. I sent it. But why me, instead of calling my father, her brother, requesting the same? My daughter mother asked me for gas money. But why me, when she has admitted that she craves another man. Why not him, requesting the same if she needs gas, can she not depend on him? An associate of mine needed a placed to stay after a divorce, and depended on me to assist him. Why, was there no one else such could have been provided by? My son requires lunch money for school as well as transportation to school. He don’t have to ask, it is my duty, but what of his mother, who he has not seen since February, why does he live as if he cannot depend on her or need such from her?

I really don’t understand the aforementioned. I feel that helping is essential in being a man as well as the central construct in both collective and social responsibility. I don’t mind, for although I am neither a pacifist nor a Christian, Martin King Jr and Jesus both represented collective and social responsibility flawlessly, and I couldn’t hold their jock straps in comparison. But what I do realize is that I am at a loss when it comes to targeting one person I can depend on. Sure I need the affection of my son and his respect. Sure I need the love of my daughter when she is in my arms and cradles her head on my shoulder underneath my neck. But who do I have to depend on, when I may need money for my mortgage, or a place to stay, or to pick me up from the repair shop when my vehicle is being fixed? At this point, maybe a few for the latter, but no one that I can say that can depend on me as such. See I have observed that those who are the most needy are the least dependable. And often don’t even see that others may need to depend on them, or that others have needs equally or as urgent as theirs. So not to be political, what is the differences between need and depend, and who do you need, and who can you depend on through thick and thin? vote


Blog Queen said...

cheated a little
need - a condition requiring relief
depend - to be contingent upon

ex: I need a roof over my head, food to eat, and other instinctive desires to be satisfied.

I depend on my professional skills in the job I perform to meet some of those needs.

Most of the extremely needy know that someone is also depending on them but they chose not to consider the needs or wants of others. It's all about them. And when we aid or "abide" those who become "dependent" on us to satisfy their needs and not themselves - we make the situation worse.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

blog queen
woman i know that, especially as a trained psychologist and prefer contigincy of survival or based on instincts , u know what i mean jones

Crian said...

3am, man, the is just about the time I wake up in Ireland. Need and Depend, those are some interesting words. Need is often overused though in some people's cases, people using it as an emotional hook to get you to believe that their desire can only be filled be you.

To me, depend is the better for word. Living in Ireland these last 2 years, I still depend on my people in Mass. even though they are 3000km away. A simple phone call is all it takes to realize that this dependance is something I will never relinquish.

OG, The Original Glamazon said...

- I feel that helping is essential in being a man as well as the central construct in both collective and social responsibility. I feel the same way, and I guess I would say it was essential to being a person, but I do realized my father spent his time raising me like a man to some degree. So maybe your statement is right and as a woman who was raised with some male values I am operating out of my sexual nature.

I often ask myself why am I the one who gets called by family and friends when in need. While I am blessed enough to have a nice circle of friends and some family I could depend on to an extent, I really don't ever put myself in that position. I don't think I need anyone really because I have trained myself to only depend on me and if I can't manage to meet my own needs, then perhaps I don't need said things. Only recently have felt comfortable enough to ask someone for help, usually its a ride to pick up my car or a pick-up/drop off to the airport. I must admit even arrange that seems laborious but like I told you I do have a circle who can meet those needs.

A need is something you must have in order to survive, in my books.

Dependable is someone who does what he says he/she says he/she will do. People watch dependable people because they are usually the one's who succeed and reach goals, so when you are in need you call a winner. I mean you need this, not want it. You call someone who does what they say or does his/her best to do what they say. You don't want someone who will leave you beyond need waiting on them.

Good Post!


B said...

Need and depend....I think we all need love or some form of it but we can't always depend on it.

Ugh..Happy Monday!

The Dreamy One said...

i so feel you on this brother, I am always giving, my time, my words, my money, etc etc

besides my mom and sis who can I count on in the outside world!!

i so feel you, but you know sometimes we are put on this earth to be givers!!

Maeve said...

Just a quick comment to say to you that I've posted the first fantasy, if you are still interested to join, you are welcome! And you can use the one you've send me...

DivaJood said...

Wow. This is a fascinating topic, Torrance. Obviously these people call on you because you walk the walk of being responsible, dependible. But there is a difference between being an enabler and being a responsible person.

The real issue is this: how do we, as individuals, behave? How do we, as individuals, walk our walk?

I can't answer your questions, but I sense you really do know the answers in your heart.

BuelahMan said...


Dude, we are so much alike, even in our many differences.


It seems that I am the 'go to' man around here, as well. When the shit hits the fan, who do they call? Me.

Its not that I mind (I love helping another for this is where I get my most personal satisfaction and happiness), but dammit it gets old when someone is using you.

And, like you, where is MY help?

Fuck, I have no one. Really.

Not just money, but even a place or person to share my hurts and ills with. I mean, really share. (I have my wife, of course, but I am talking about friends)

I gave up on any financial help from others long, LONG ago. But that doesn't stop those who haven't learned the lesson from calling me.

Good post!

SagaciousHillbilly said...

Need and dependency. It can be healthy or really, really sick.
There have been times in my life when I was spending a lot of cash giving hand-out to and running all over creation for anyone with a sad story. . . most of which were bullshit. I thought I was being a hero to those in need, but it turned out that I was only feeding my ego . . "look at me the big man who everyone comes to." In reality I was the chump that everyone took advantage of.
These days I'm very careful about who I help and don't. I no longer NEED or DEPEND on the superficial admiration and dependency of others to feel validated in this world.

ingridspeak said...

I have felt that way before. Why am I the go to person for everyone. So much so there was a time I dreaded answering my phone because there was always someone in "need" on the other end.

I discovered the reason for this. Because we have proven we can be depended on. Period.

Once you have shown people through your actions that you will honor your word once its given you have opened yourself up to the endless parade of the needy.

You can either accept it or go into seclusion, but one thing for sure... once that door is open it can never be completely closed.

profunksticated said...

I've also felt the same; needy folk come to me. But I've been needy also, and it drove me crazy.

I think the only person I can really depend on through thick and thin is the wife.

NoRegrets said...

What is the differences between need and depend, and who do you need, and who can you depend on through thick and thin?

People always have needs. Not all of them will be fulfilled.

You can depend on someone when you know they will do what they say they will do, when they are responsive to needs.

I think there's a difference between someone who's dependable because he/she is a giving person and someone who's dependable who expects something in return. And there's always a risk of a dependable person being taken advantage of, but that person has to be conscious of his/her own limitations and own self.

If you don't feel you can depend on anyone, either you've brought noone in your life who's dependable, or you have extremely high standards that noone could ever meet.

NoRegrets said...

And when I mean you've brought noone in your life who's dependable, really truly I think it's a choice, whether conscious or subconscious. It's difficult to ask for and to accept help!

I am extremely dependable, and have a circle of friends who are extremely dependable. It's been difficult for me to accept help from them these past 6 months, but I've come to terms with it, and realize it will be passed on by me.

fly tie said...


i'm feelin' you on this. it would take some time for me to think of a response, but it's definitely worthy of contemplation. this issue comes up all too often in my world and the worlds of those around me. lack of reciprocity.

Jay Midnyte said...

yea i keep a small circle of real close dependable friends that treat each other as fam.

Keli said...

Good question...

I always seem to be the go to person...and I have found myself asking this question myself (in regards to those in my life)...when it comes to basic needs, I really don't depend on anyone to provide for me, other than myself...but when I need friendship, moral support, love, someone to listen, someone to let me be weak...I know that I have friends and family that I can depend on in these times.

The Socialite said...

There are very few people out there that can be depended on, but so many people that need things! I wish that more people were there when you need them, instead of always asking for something. Til that happens, I will continue to do as much as I can for others!

memphiz said...

I dont like depending on people but it's always nice to have that one person to call. It seems like you always come through and you dont throw it in peoples face.

One Man’s Opinion said...

I am feeling this post, Vic Van Doom. I am feeling it because just the other day my older sister, who never calls me unless she wants something, called to ask to borrow four hundred dollars for something that my niece has going on. Fuck that! (Am I allowed to say fuck in your comment section?). I am not going to call her back, because she never pays back money and burnt the lending tree down with me many years ago. Second, my niece, who I love to death, is a little bitch. She burnt her bridge with me when she tried to disrespect me in front of her little drug dealing boy friend. She apparently forgot who I was. But everyone in my family seems to think that I am the money train that they can depend on when things got tight. Yeah, they got that wrong. Only people that door is open for are my mom and my nephew. Mom, because she is mom and nephew, because he is three and my heart.
But like you,when all is said and done, I have no one to depend if things get too rough (well, that is not entirely true, but you get where I am coming from).


Emeritus said...

need= craving for. unable to live without
depend= to be called upon to provide a need. a vessel by which need is fulfilled/satisfied.

a dependable person comes through in the time of need.

but who's to know? not I.

Emeritus said...

if you were looking at it from a cup half empty, you're just the go-to guy. don't pick up your phone next time.

Big Cheekz said...

my opinion >> to need a person means that person has a tremendous influence on your life & how you live it. you feel like you can't live without that person, no matter how they treat you.

to depend on a person means that at some point in time that person has showed you that they will be there no matter what. they may not be there just when you call, that person could just be nice like that with everyone. not everyone, including spouses, can be depended upon, so when we come across a person who is dependable, their number stays on file.

now the people i need in my life are my children, and my husband. our life together is so much bigger than anything i could experience outside of our union. they are the motivators behind the moves i make each day.

the people i can depend on, outside of those 3, it isn't many. sad to say, but i've learned that the hard way. my kids love me unconditionally. i can depend on my husband fo sho & he has never let me down - and maybe i can depend on a relative or a friend here & there.

but on the flip side. me & my hubby are the bank, the hotel, and AAA to everybody else.

Sheliza said...

oh my, I just had this conversation with my hubby a few days ago on how everyone seems to call us up when they need something. We ask the same question, Why me? I suppose when others see how you hold your own and do your best to do things without any help from anyone it attracts folks to feel you "have it like that". This brings the dependant behavior. Maybe we do it to ourselves without knowing or we should take it as a compliment. Great post and I am loving the grammar folk! LOL!

Curious said...

I think I need everyone because everyone adds to my experience of living, but I can depend on very few. My mother is the only one left alive who I know would drop everything without hesitation for her her only son if she could. But I would never allow it. So then there is all the rest and for the most part as long as they are not inconvenienced too much, I can only depend on them to a certain point and sometimes the only thing I can depend on is getting hurt. But sometimes even that is good as it makes me stronger or more determined and self-reliant.

MP said...

I felt just like this a few months ago. I had to stand back and observe the quality of the people in my life. Some people were amazing and some got cut out.

You must be something amazing to have so many knowing that you are dependable.

Christopher said...

Having people we can depend on is what I call our safety net.

But the world is a strange place today and people say they're too busy to get involved, or they say they prefer to mind their own business.

So people become isolated from one another.

How many times have we seen the story on the local TV news about a man who kills his wife and kids and then himself? The neighbors tell the reporters, "They seemed like quite people but I didn't know them. I never spoke to them."

Our collective sense of belonging, of community, is shattered. This isn't good.

James Tubman said...

jock strap lol

im in the same boat

my parents and sisters only call me up when they want something and they know i got it

ive found that the people you can depend on most are strangers

but right now im depending on everybody because im broke

you got 5 dollars till next monday

Big O said...

Yup...I sooooooo know the feeling. im giving..almost to a fault. just cuz i dont have kids or an "other half"..its expected that i have this over abundance of "resources"..

But im glad that i do have folks that i could go to when in need as well.

Lovebabz said...

We are all connected. You rise to the occassion because you have no choice. There is no saying NO for you when someone says I need. Very Arthurian.

We are all interdependent. I need you. I need you. That is how life works. Need and dependence are just offshoots of love. What we are willing to do for love. I am no way suggesting that we run ourselves ragged. I am saying that we need to be mindful of the human condition.

It takes a great deal of courage to say to someone I need you. I need your help. I need your concern and care. There is no need to make a beggar of our fellow man. It is right, just, and humane to extend ourselves as brothers/sisters. Not to our own detriment, but in love and fellowship. We do what we can. What we are able to do.

I know what it is to have folks stand with you in celebration and good times. But most importantly I know who stood with me in my darkest moments and the ones I though shoulkd have been there were not... it was too hard. I know who availed themselves above and beyond what was asked for. I know what it is to stand in need and not have folks make me a beggar.

I know that adversity will show us who stands with us. Who has our back when shit hits the fan and everyone can't bear it. We each have the charge of paying that kind of love forward.

I know that if you asked, if you whispered you were in need of anything...the world of friends who love and admire you would open up and come is a wonderful life. Need and dependence and the courage to ask is like love. It does not wait on waits on welcome.

If you are open to love then you are open to the kind hand extended to you.

I know if I needed you to come to CT you would. I know if you needed me to come to GA I would.

I am glad that you are able to do the heavy lifting. Be that lighthouse in the storm. So few have the courage and the character to care. That is a blessing few will ever know.

To whom much is given...much is expected.

Mizrepresent said...

This has always been my case...and i am the youngest of six...and yet the rock of my family. My kids come to me before they got to their father...because they know i will provide, or find away...there is no NO, never, they know, that i will do all i can to make it happen. They don't trust others, they don't want to be turned down, turned away and given excuses, so they return to the one person they know ill listen, and will try. Now i don't know who will come to aid when i'm in need, because like OG says, i never asked, will be interesting to see, and even then i won't judge or berate those who can't, couldn't or wouldn't...i do this out of my love for them, and my love for God, and not for "what's in it for me..."

rainywalker said...

Your just a nice guy Raw Dawg!

Pajnstl said...

There aren't many people I can say I depend on. I've found (like) you when it's my time to need someone, people are suspicously absent.

So i have my husband. And when it's something i don't want to go to him with i have God.

Thank goodness my needs aren't unmanageable. I recall several times when they were and those were prolly the lonliest moments of my life. :)

Pajnstl said...

and i know i say it all the time, but your daughter is a cutie pie!

msladydeborah said...

First of all my friend, Thank God that you are not in a position that requires you to rely on someone else. That is a blessing in itself!

T, when someone calls during known bedtime hours with a 911 situation, they are looking for someone who can produce what they need. You could of said no, but you did not. Which is a blessing for the friend who was stranded on the highway with her children.

I have found over the years that folks come to producers because they have built a reputation as a person who can and will produce results.

As far as family is concerned~did you ever consider that it might have been difficult for your mom to approach you for help? My mother is still fiercely independent but when she says, I need you D.L. to do whatever...I do not hesistate to do whatever she asks. I understand that she really has no one else to turn to. As a mother with grown folks, I have a difficult time asking mine to do anything for me. Which is not the case on their end. I stopped being quick to respond because it was creating friction between us when it was time to handle their business.

I hope and pray for your sake and for your children's sake, that you never have to go to anyone other than God to receive what you need. But if you do, I hope that you are blessed to receive whatever you have to have at that moment.

Crys.C said...

You're a great person, father, and friend so I see why people in your life tend to depend/need you...

I learned at a very young age not to depend or need anyone. I always find a way to work things out.
If the day comes and I need help, I think I'll be lost.

sista gp said...

Need and dependability seems to be a balancing act. Folks who appear to be the most needy also appear to be the least dependable. If you are capable of handling your own business most of the time, you will be less needy of others. And when you can handle your own business you can depend on yourself, thus having less need for others.

The "need/dependability" balance flows into business. Management knows dependable folks to seek when there is a need to be met. It would not be beneficial to seek a resolution from a known non-dependable source.
The other day, I got a call from my previous manager. There had been a "tennis match" going on where no end in sight. She asked for my input, I gave it directly. Next day, I found out that my response resolved the issue. The sad part of this is that I had previously gave the same response to my successor, but it was "lost in translation".

This also flows into sales as in your shop. You want your customers to know to depend on you to supply their product needs at a reasonable cost. If so, they would come to your shop first.

This is more than I planned to respond tonight. It's time for more self-medication. Just be aware that in your greatest need you may be surprised who comes your way.

Example: On the morning when the tornado(s) ripped through my area of town on Mother's Day, I was pleasantly surprised who the first person to contact me. Since the cell service was horrible, my friend tracked down my home number. She called daily to check on us and was my lifeline to the outside world. I did not hear from my "girls" until I was able to get out and return back to work.

Being a dependable responsible person is admirable. Accept it, be thankful, and move on.

BTW, I am not at 100% yet; hopefully in a few days.

Waiting for Zufan! said...

Wow, there are some really great comments here.

You are blessed to be in a position to help, and to be someone people can count on.

And clearly, you're not going to let anyone walk all over you.

It brings with it responsibility, but it also feels so good to have people who depend on us, to "be needed," you could say. We all have a need to be needed. If other people didn't need us, what would be the point of living? That's one reason the elderly who have pets are happier and live longer than those without; they feel (and are) needed, at least by the pet.

Folk said...

These words have so many angles of need / depend angles. Financially, Physically, Mentally, and Spiritually.

During my divorce from my ex, I learned quickly who I could depend on in my time of emotional, financial, mental, and spiritual need. All the posers disappeared quickly.

To depend on someone is to have faith that they will be there when you "need" them to catch you. As stated above, too often these words "need and depend" are used to fill in for "want and use."

RunningMom said...

I think OG explained it best: "While I am blessed enough to have a nice circle of friends and some family I could depend on to an extent, I really don't ever put myself in that position. I don't think I need anyone really because I have trained myself to only depend on me and if I can't manage to meet my own needs, then perhaps I don't need said things."

That's exactly how I feel about needs for me most of the time. If I can't do it myself, attain it myself, take care of it myself, then do I really need it? Or possibly am I just afraid that the person I need won't be there for me and fear being rejected.

When it comes to my son - it's another story. He can count on me for anything and everything. But his father... the MAN... the one that's supposed to be teaching him to be a strong man...He can't depend on him for anything but dissappointment.

Rich said...

i'm gone make it simple folk.

why you?

because you are called to it. we all play different roles and that is yours. it may seem unfair, but that's the way it is. i know, because at times i'm called to share the same seat as you.

bluedreamer27 said...

hello just dropping by here ahgain have agreat day
by the you might want to see who are those solo performers that gain much popularity as they leave their group of where they came from at my blog
hope to see you there
more power and God bless

Vegan Ladee said...

Many are called, few are chosen.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Never looked at it that way

OG, The Original Glamazon
Well put and full of passion – but pls don’t be a man folk lol

Happy Monday back at ya folk

The Dreamy One
Better to give than receive, but we still desire gifts

I read it u as freaky as me

Di vaJood
As a man I must be responsible. I have no choice as being a man

Yep we brothers

I would say the sick ones are the ones who do it all the time. But out the blue and rare request – she felt like she was mad she had to ask me u know

All I have is my word, work ethic and life

The wife sounds like a trooper

I could not have said it better col.

None in the ATL maybe should have been more accurate

fly tie
Seems as so in the world of many who responded to this post

Jay Midnyte
My folk like that but most aint here. I got Smoove, big slim, Al-veen, tony-oh, Mike, and Damon, maybe a few more.

My family is a given. But they are not in Atlanta

The Socialite
I will to continue to do as such as well

No I don’t, but when I tell them I cant depend on u they get mad

One Man’s Opinion
Man we twins too, so get them books out your stories on your blog are riviting

Craving like neck bones and hot sauce

That would be rude

Big Cheekz
Yep that is sad

A compliment it is then – happy back to school time lol

Yea, man, self reliat people tend to be good friends, and hurt is never kind

Thank u, im flattered

Not good at all man – how have u been.

James Tubman
Id hook u up if u were here, but it is true they are great (they still live)

Big O
Must be the men in us

Thanks folk, reminding me of the human condition – I know u got my back

Love and hometraining and being responsible

Not wo my wa-ta lol

Maybe that’s what I don’t need other than what I do for myself – id rather go without

And thank u AGAIN lol

Thanks, I am a producer again – my kids, well u know what I will do for them anything

Thanks babe, im lost already.

sista gp
So I am admirable, hope u get well soon, and u know I don’t mind doing for my family, I just wonder who will be able to dom for me.

Waiting for Zufan!
Yes I am, and walk over me, I have choices and folk don’t get down like that.

Sad but true wand and use

Dang and see, your problem is mine. Social responsibility at its best. Apologize and wish I could do more

Preach brother

Thank u maam, and I will do that I tried to vote but it was closed

Vegan Ladee
So true. Thanks 4 the drive by

Soulstress said...

I feel u on this. I tend to be the one folks call on when in need...and there are def more ppl that call on me than I call on.

I wuld say I need & depend on my parents...esp my mama..she really helps me sort things out.

I guess u shuld see it as a compliment that ppl run to u..evn if they arent dependable to reciprocate.

NoRegrets said...

And how long have you been in Atl?
[you lying on couch in office facing away from me. me in dr's chair with pad and notebook, listening intently.]
Col (LOL!)

hey! said...

@ torrance
it would be rude to drop the phone on then. it wouldn't not be rude if you never picked up at all. i sure as hell don't pick up my phone at 3am, even if i'm awake.

whateva though. it's you, not me. do what you do.


T. Michelle Theus said...

Oh, boi...I sooooo feel you on this post. I have a tendency of saving people and I'm learning to slowly break free of the chains I've put on myself. I love that people reach out to me when they are in need - I mean, I want to help when I can. But when it's too many and too often then there is a problem. When they lean on you TOO much then you are actually not helping them, you are stunting their growth. And so I remind myself of this and I am getting better and better at helping them help themselves :)

Kin'shar said...

wow you are very essential to the world. I can tell you why you are much needed and why others depend on you to assist. God has put you here for a reason. God appointed you to assist those who will need you the most. Thank God that these people think of you at their most needed time. Although, you may feel a bit used...think of it as a true blessing.

There are many people that are able to assit those but yet refuse to do so. When it comes a time that they would need someone...who can they call? All of the ones that they disappointed, God, who? Just remember for every one that you bless...GOD has given you two more blessings.

Stay true to yourself and never ask why your close ones need you...only ask why they ask you sooner.....;)

A Cuban In London said...

Well done, mate. Thanks for popping by my blog the other day. A little help to others every day keeps the doctor away and brings a smile to someone's face.

Greetings from London.

Veronica Wright said...

I just wrote a post relative to this

"I have observed that those who are the most needy are the least dependable. And often don’t even see that others may need to depend on them, or that others have needs equally or as urgent as theirs. So not to be political, what is the differences between need and depend, and who do you need, and who can you depend on through thick and thin?"

I have been very independent but I'm there for my friend providing for my friends but when i need someone to talk to..they aren't there. when i need a one to be found but if they call...I'm right there...they know that they can depend on me. I know that I can't depend on any of them. That's why I had resolved to find new friends after this past weekend.

guerreiranigeriana said...

...interesting..need vs. depend...i can depend on a plethora of people for a variety of different things...i have always been blessed with dependable and good people in my life...who do i need?...that's an interesting question...i can't answer...what does it mean to need someone?...

Tia's Real Talk said...

Congrats on the award!! This is my favorite post from you. This is a little more personal, thanks for letting me in. I think to depend is an option. You can do without. Needing is a must lies no option. Honestly I depend on my hubby to do what he is suppose to do as a man. Do I need him to do it, no. It does make my life easier but it is not a necessity. Sounds cliche but Jesus is truly my only need.

Tia's Real Talk said...

Oh are either very dependable or easy to run over. And I'm sure people come to you because you are a ginuine helper and not a pushover. Feel honored. Do you feel taken advantaged of?

LovexHate said...

Hmm thats interesting. It's strange actually because when it comes to my mom, alot of my extended family rely on her although at times she can be vulnerable herself and has went through a lot.
I think its difficult to disentangle need from depend.. but hm i dunno lol.

Sheiba said...

In my opinion One really only need food, water and shelter as the lady mentioned before me. When someone need something they feel it is required and without it they would be in a really big jam. I agree with you a hundred percent about needy people. Most are so concerned with their own wants and desires that they are usually neglecting the needs of others. I believe people tend to always depend on the person(s) that have been consistent with helping them and they know that it is likely they will help them out again because they have proven to be reliable. If your son's mother is not asking another man it's probably because either he isn't reliable or she doesn't feel they are close enough yet to ask him for whatever it is she need. I think you should feel good that people depend on you because that says you are a very good man!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

I guess so, I guess it must mean something – just hope it is good

U don’t want me on no sofa lol

It wasn’t r 137, and my ringer is usually off. My daughter had been playing w my phone, and this time it was on – so I guess she was blessed or lucky, but still I don’t feel good about leaving a woman and two infants stranded on the hwy, maybe u can sleep but I cant

T. Michelle Theus
I hope folks domlearn to help themselves. My aunt don’t ask for nothing so I know she needed it and my kids, well self explainatory. But some folks ask witout even trying

Thank u sister, that was so sweet made me smile

A Cuban In London
Thanks for the love folk and pls do return

Veronica Wright
Im gone read it….what happened this past weekend?

What of a mortgage, and who would u call first, there has to be some hiearchy

Tia's Real Talk
Don’t sound like a cliche at all

Tia's Real Talk
No I make the choice and do and can say no. But I will never be run over.

Yea hon, but there gotta be some middle ground, shouldn’t there?

Thanks for the drive by and thanks for the accolades as well, I hope u do return

RunGirl. said...

I believe that people dont need nearly as much as they think they do, but when they find a dependable person such as yourself, somehow their need spikes because they know that there is someone who can immediately fulfill it. People depend on you because they can. Its as simple as that. And it's easier to depend on/call on you than to call on the person who should take care of the need. ie themselves, their significant other, etc ..

There is a fine line between need and depend. Dependency can grow from need...

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