Saturday, September 13, 2008

something 'bout my back stroke

Point of order: Just found out I have a chapter in a new book called Black Sexualities: Probing Powers, Passions, Practices, and Policies" (NYU press). My chapter is on sexual health among inmate populations and I have been asked to write a chapter on Substance Abuse for the 3rd Edition of Health Issues in the Black Community with my Folk Dr. Carl Hart of Columbia University.

2] Jamming Bon Jovi – Dead or alive and just finished listening to Thin Lizzy – The Boys are Back in Town (them white boys used to rock afros).

3] Folk loving these Icelandic Fish skin chews for dogs and cant wait on my dog food made of Ostrich to get in. And Rollingout did a piece on my store.

Manes, Jones here have some of the darndest things happen to him. I think that is one reason I like the short store as my favorite form of prose (the ordinary language people use) because I can just change a name of two and bam – fiction. Sometimes these occur in life events and as in the case of last night, via phone call. Starting with me answering:

Jones: Yes

Lil Momma: Hello Torrance

Jones: May I ask who is calling?

Lil Momma: XXXX

Jones: XXXX, and how have u been maam?

Lil Momma: Ok, I’m in your city, at the airport.

Jones: Yea, sup with that Jones?

Lil Momma: Layover missed my connection, delays due to Hurricane they say.

Jones: I can see that, I mean gas went up 65 cents in half a day may as well make you late too. Long time no hear, what gives? And you still got my number

Lil Momma: I know, I never really forgot about you…

Jones: Str8

Lil Momma: Do you have mine?

Jones: Nope would have but last woman broke my phone when I tried to film her burning down my house and saying she was gone kill me and my son.

Lil Momma: You silly.

Jones: For real Jones – slim was Twilight Zone jones. Butarah, you know do tell.

Lil Momma: Well you are not easy to forget. Something about your backstroke.

Jones: [Laughing] u aint never see me swim.

Lil Momma: Boy you know what I mean, I remember you beating me comatose, and you know what u toting. Can you come and get me?

Jones: [Laughing} A city girl using tote, country-esque. I would but last minute and I’m in the bed Jones, without the Kids. I’m lounging.

Lil Momma: Well, can you come and have a few drinks with me, my treat.

Jones: I wish babe. Wish I had known before I got naked. Just got out shower and air drying under the fan.

Lil Momma: Ok, call sometimes, I really missed you, and you wrong for the visual.

I will spare you the mundane nuances of the entire discussion. But she did make me smile, and made me remember some things that I should have already immortalized in fiction. I guess I believed she missed me, but back in the day, it was like I was the flail of God (where did I get that from – LOL). Not that I aint wanna bone, and I do have a sever penchant for free liquor, for my favorite liquor is free, as well, my favorite beers are cold and free. But I just aint the one for moon walking, you know, she had me and let folk go, so I leave that type of dance to Michael Jackson and Usher.

But what struck me was the reference to my back stroke. It was if she remembered me, but remembered how I almost beat lil momma twat into a coma. I know I told her that back then, but she even remembered. I aint never remembered no kitty like that and cant recall any one specific one out the, well we wont give no number. I mean is it really possible to recall of such, to keep such vivid in ones mind over the years. I remember parties, or fights, or football games, but not twat. I do remember her red toenail polish and how it stained the flat white paint above my headboard of my bed, and how she squirmed when I torqued my hips to the left, and how her eyes reminded me of a person having an epileptic seizure when ever I bent myself inside of her. I even remember the shutters, or me having to release one of my hands from her ankle to cover her mouth as to not wake my roommates, who said the next morning I was throwing down. I don't know should I have believed her? is it possible to remember a man by they way he messaged your back from inside your body with slow long strokes?

It was just weird; she remembered the back stroke when I recalled the elements of a fine fictional piece. I was happy and told her such in honor, for when she said it was “something about my back stroke”, I said, that’s a song.

Back to politics and economics, and history Monday. Thanks Tera, I won Blog of the day


fly tie said...


Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

is that smh lol, the fish skins sellin like crack

rainywalker said...

I'm sure in my 61 years I have never heard a person like you who can say so much, with just a few words.

12kyle said...

get up for the downstroke...every body get up! LOL

Kellybelle said...

Don't forget abt mental health! toe nail polish on the head board...mmm...

msladydeborah said...

Congrats on the chapters. I am sure that you will bring what needs to be said up front.

Umm...I can always depend on you to take me some place mentally. But you know my aka is Ms. Vegas, so I won't reveal where my thoughts went during the remainder of your post!:-)

nicki nicki tembo said...

Whew...the last thing I needed to read before hitting the sack. Had my back arching just reading. I probably should have thought on that title a little bit before getting off into the piece.

The Love Collective said...

I want to hear about the chick tryna burn ya house down whilst you snapped said pictures. That's a book unto itself right there!

sista gp said...

uh, no comment. like to keep my skeletons nice and dusty in the back of the closet...

you need to get a hidden camera...

Anonymous said...

Tera nominated you and ...

Your site has won a Blog of the Day Award (BOTDA)

Award Code

Your award will go live sometime on Sunday September 14, 2008

Thank you,

Bill Austin

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik] said...

hmm mmm mmm

(like the little old church ladies)

Blog Queen said...

Congrats on the chapter and your up and coming writing endeavor.

memphiz said...

back stroke huh LMAO!

T.Allen-Mercado said...

haha-i'll be back on monday when you resume your regularly scheduled program. you are too much.

MsMarvalus said...

Got me reminiscing about dude with his own version of the create a visual, man...

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...


Great laugh for the day.

Big O said...

Them some real pimpish words there playa!

RealHustla said...

Sound like you remember just fine to me.

Anonymous said...

Damn if some of your writing doesn't get a gal thinking about dating again! Tried some funky blue nail polish today, though. ;)

Now you KNOW all that was missing was you photoshopping your face on the magazine cover with the swimmer doing the backstroke!

As for your query about my Chargers (a couple blogs back), let's just say that after that miserably painful loss on the last freakin' play last Sunday, I'm unfortunately feeling like my boys are back to their usual "can't seal the deal" ways of playing. Would be lovely if that changed today. We'll see. And what are you thinking about your boys this year? Have a great Sunday!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Thank u folks, u still a youngin anyway to me

u know parliment Funkadelic is my fav group of all time

Yes maam, lol

i hope its a good memory

nicki nicki tembo
is that all it takes for a man to arch your back - gotta work on that stamina lol

The Love Collective
Did, its callled HER KISS WAS NEVER MINE.

sista gp

Famous Quotations
Thanks folks im flattered and thanks Tera

(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik]

Blog Queen
thanks folk

u women are creative

yes maam

hope its a good one maam

thank u jones long time no see

Big O
takes one to know one folk

her, not the other

Blue toenails, i do like that imagining the marks on my walll now

Missy said...

red toenail polish on the headboard??? I'm doing something wrong....LOL

Missy said...

...congrats on the chapters too!!!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

he not doing it RIGHT lol

4GOTTEN1 said...

Man that can definetly be a moment etched into your memory especially when it's done right.

Definetly would like to hear the whole story of how ole gurl burned down the house and broke the phone.

Sister Girl said... must have laid something on her mind that remained like Windsong(LOL).


Lena said...

You know you are so wrong for playing with that woman's emotions like that with those visual...I love how the things you remembered where the things you did to her but not theo ther way around, makes it sound like her pussy was whack.

IntrospectiveGoddess said...

LMAO@LENA "Makes it sound like her pussy was whack"

Thats exactly what I was could that have been the reason you decided not to take lil momma up on her offer?

One can only hope someone remembers your prowess years after the fact....

The visuals...just brings it on home for me....

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

tru dat

Sister Girl
i guess lol

i wasnt playing with her, she remembered the physical and I the esoteric. i get off by getting my partner off that does it for me, not the twat itself, i could jack off to cum. Its the experience, like a good story

IntrospectiveGoddess not that, jst that i remember the event and not the anatonmy. its kind of a spiritual exchange

Lina said...

I don't think it was just your backstroke, but women remember all sorts of things...or maybe it just could be me...

Glad to hear the store is doing to stop by

NoRegrets said...

First, congrats on the publication.

second, she was jonesin' for jones...

Big Cheekz said...


OG, The Original Glamazon said...

I thought it was tighten up on your backstroke and judging from the phone call she didn't need you to do that! My friend once told me not to dismiss another friend cause she was gonna tighten up on her backstroke….so that phrase means so many different things! *lol*

Big ups on your chapters!! I am sure they will be exactly what the people need to read and know.


blah blah blah said...

backstoke eh?! I definitely remember anatomy. The tool used to give a good spinal alignment deserves to be remembered...

kudos to you! LOL

poison.ivy said... toenail polish on the headboard...waking the roommate...epileptic seizures....sounds REAL nice

boy you brought tears to my eyes!!! LOL

Tia's Real Talk said...

Wow congrats again. I said I wanted personal..guess I got It's nice to get some of your thoughts from your heart. Might be my fav here.

Hawa Bond said...

Congrats on the writing deal. And I love "Dead or Alive."

Hawa, author of
Fackin Truth Blog (Personal Blog)
Cleanse Master Remix (Health Blog)

Tera said...

I will holla at you in e-mail about this one Good Doctor!

Tera said...

Oh yeah...remind me to talk about your "clueless" act too! ;-)


Dope Fiend said...

wow, i hate that word.

"Jones: Nope would have but last woman broke my phone when I tried to film her burning down my house and saying she was gone kill me and my son."

I KNOW you're joking right??
i really need a thorough read through of your blog...i HOPE you're joking!

Anonymous said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.


YoungBlackBeauty said...

You are too much for me Torrance! BTW I've checked you out several times and all recognize the love when you check me out too. Thanks for the add.

PoeticMind said...

This post have me feeling some type of way. BRB have to change my panties. LMAO!

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