If you read on the right side bar, have a quote by my folk Genghis Khan. I think along with MLK, Voltaire, Chekih Anta Diop and myself (of course) he is the truth. Thus I honor him as such. Now don’t get it twisted, there are others as powerful in thought and action I admire, but his quote seems to set the tone for how I think and what I post her more so than others
All I am saying is that women like Umph in a man as the Soulstress wrote in her last post, but from personal experience, I find when they get it, they really don’t want it. And based on my personal experiences, jones here done heard it all in the form of grievance and complaint. Women complain about my sex drive as well as the size of man hood as well as all else. I mean I meet women who say they like a smart man and say I'm too smart; or a man with street sense but say I shouldn’t carry a gat or my folk dangerous; or they like a man with a big dick but my dick too big; or that they like a family man but I spend too much time w my kids (they the shit); or worse, like a man who can cook but I’m trying to get them fat. Once, I had a woman call me a show off, cause I was speaking with some Nigerians in Igbo and next to them these folk from
So if you don’t want no Hannibal Baraca, or no Napoleon or not Genghis Khan, then all I say is don’t fuck with jones here mane. Cause truth be told I am a leader and don’t follow or take orders well, shit I don’t order well in restaurants. So if Genghis Khan or any of my folk rode by my camp and said or asked if I was ready to roll, you just give me my ax and have faith that Jones here the truth and that the truth will return and set you free and at the end of the night plant himself at the base of your wetness, wounded or not and let you feel jones here bend inside your back at the base of your spine. But yawl ladies dont hear me though. there is a difference between a man and a fk boy or bich azz n i double G a z. For on the real, yawl dont want no scholar warrior - dogon priest on bail. vote
112 comments:
80% of Women are Bi-Polar and Indecisive.... 10%have no clue, while the others fend for themselves....
thanks for the post!
I will admit that I have been guilty of havin the nice guy and not wantin him cuz he was "too nice"...and keepin the no good ni$$a around instead. But we live and we learn I suppose. And what I have learned is just bcuz a guy is a good man..dont mean he's the good man for me. But thats a post i may write at a later date lol.
Ultimately I agree with u..its important to be urself and every else can take it or leave it. Bcuz I want sum1 to love me for who I truly am..not who they want me to be:)
Folk above me sound like he don't have no faith in women. They ain't all bad, and we all know men have their problems. Thats where communication comes in. Personally, if you can cook and are family oriented, there can be no wrong for that. If any woman wants to be put over your children, she doesn't deserve you.
"I believe relationships are give and take and sacrifice"
THAT'S real talk!!
lol @ not ordering well at restaurants :)
WOW...so raw...so intense..so intriguing...and most importantly "THE TRUTH"
and coming from a woman's perspective...I'll be the first to admit your absolutely RIGHT...
and excuse me while I channel that phrase from the Prince song "She's Never Satisfied"...lol
it's true but it's part of our "Natural Makeup"...we change our minds like we change our clothes but @ the end of the day I think there's still a balance...well I can only speak for myself on that one. While I disagree that "80% of women are Bi-Polar" I do agree that a lot of us are always looking for something because it's RARE that we come across someone who can offer true satisfaction in all aspects of the word. And when HE does come along it's even harder to differentiate the real from the unrealistic...
IDK??? Relationships are always a work in progress...just my opinion!!!
GREAT POST!!!
Lol, We are never satisfied. I've got to work on that one myself. My boyfriend does everything for me, I am so spoiled, but I would still get mad at him over the silliest things. Like if he wants to go out to eat, he would take me to some nice restaurant, but Ill get mad because I had italian food yesterday. Just bratty things.
Before we were officially together, he wanted me so bad. I could tell, he would hang out with all the time, bring me food from whenever he went to the store, take me places, buy me a replica football jersey of his so I could wear it to the football games to watch him, and even tell all his friends I was his girl, but I thought he was annoying and too nice. Im so stupid, hes perfect!
Everything Ive ever wanted in a man, and he was sitting right next to me in my room the whole time!
Sometimes I sound just like your examples in the post. I'm working on it! :) I appreciate him though, soo much and I feel so bad after I realize how bratty and immature I am being!
Thanks for the post! Have an amazing day!!
aaw..you speak Igbo and Wolof? Na nga def?
"or worse like a man who can cook but I’m trying to get them fat"
LOL!! I will never complain about a plate of food...keep them coming :)
great post! It is really not easy to find someone...
You summarize everything here:"I believe relationships are give and take and sacrifice""
AMEN!
@ Soulstress: I so feel you on learning that a man can be a good man, but just not good for me. I stuggled with that for a long time. I was with this guy and he seemed to be so great at a lot of things. But I did not understand why we just did not click. I soon realized that he just wasnt the one for me.
@ the post: I think that people period just dont know what they are looking for. I think that we have ideal people in our head, and what we think we want, isn't what we need. We need to learn who we are before we can truly connect with anyone.
LOL! I think you’re right it’s about give and take and it’s about waiting and see. I know I don’t like dudes who don’t take care of their own even it’s just spending time. I mean I don’t care how broke you are (although you should be trying to do everything you can to take care of your seed) spending time with your seed is free and makes a difference.
I find people project themselves on to you what they would do if they had the talents you had, seems that ol’ girl would try to impress folks with multiple languages.
I think we as people need to find out about our real selves and what we need from someone in a partnership to make us happy. I think that is the key, that formula varies from person to person. We nee to stop trying to fit our blocks into society’s round holes.
Like for me money and all that whateva. I married that and divorced that and left that with all his money. I had my own (God bless the child that’s got her own) before I met him and I retained my own after I left. I have realized after really dating myself (you know getting to know who I am and see who I want to be). Two things I need a man to love me and all the many different ironical (I know it’s not a word but I likes) quirks that make me me. You know I’m every woman its all in me. As long as Jones can fend for himself he ain’t gotta fend for me, but I won’t turn him down if he wants. I’m looking for somebody to make me better and make me want to be better. There are other things but at the end of a hard day of going through it, if I can’t say he makes me better, then well he gotta go!
I am a firm believer one can never be too smart, to much of a leader, or have too big of a- Be EZ my scholar warrior
-OG
I really agree with what Socialite said about people not knowing what we want and learning who you are to connect with others. You are right about the type of man that you are, whih is a confidant, succesful good one and because there aren't that many out there it is scary and intimadating for some. I would personally think it was all a front and bs at first. But I am also still young and learning to recognize and accept "nice guys" and "good men".
Oh, this has been a crazy week. I will visit the shop next week, promise! I am scare do that "or else woman" you left me, lol
plenty o' folk walking round here "undiagnosed" as i like to say, (men & women). and what fems u be dealing wit who would complain about all that you mentioned? i can't believe fems complain abt a big dyck or a man that can take over my duties and cook sometime. let me introduce u to some of my folk! LOL
I think you've just been unlucky in relationships like the rest of us. When a woman seems to be content with her man he claims he's bored and cheats. I know you'd never do this because you have honor =)
You think being the focus of your baby momma's by polar disease is hard, try being the focus of your mother's. That's a head trip for ya.
most men nowadays aren't looking for a relationship...they want fast ass w/o the work or effort that goes into a relationship...
then you have the men who chase women purely for what they think the woman can offer...but find out eventually, that all that glitters isn't gold...and it's usually fools gold.
i think that maybe you just havent found the right woman yet. she will definitely come along.
like you i have been that women that has been everything that man claims he needed but in the end i was never enough.
so we just have to find that special someone that is meant for us.
great post!!
ah-ight. I kinda feel you. I think its women and notice I said women who ready for all dat you said. I think men scare off too easily. shit sometimes we do act crazy, but sometimes y'all drive us to it. I'm married to a good dude, we've been together 7 years and married 5 and don't get it twisted its been hard than a mug, but now we both know and have learned and ready for the next 7. After that we'll go from there.
This post left me a little speechless. You said all there is to say. I am definitely one of those women who has passed up a good man...and for what reason? Was I scared that this man was too good, and that I didn't bring enough to the table? Whatever the reason, I won't pass the next good man up. Great post, I loved it.
I wanna add one more thang, when a real woman is ready for a real man, she real step back, sorry, aside and let you be the man.
LMAO at the beginning of this. I wish men read like cereal boxes too…
Are u giving “little girls” big toys to play with, when you know such toys are meant for WOMEN only…
Women complain about your cooking, because you cook those ass-spreading meals. And you may think that’s a delight in the beginning, but you’ll be the 1st to mention it, when her ass spreads into her thighs, back and stomach. Those pork chops won’t look so appetizing…
My byf cooks every night too. And gets made when I’d rather prepare myself something else. But then he’ll mention later, at dinner, over the smother pork chops he prepared, that I still haven’t dropped the last 5 lbs that I gained while recovering from foot surgery… Go figure… The cooking situation should be something that’s negotiable…
A good read. You're right...human beings on the whole are never really satisfied. There's always something else that we need, but it's funny how people gravitate faster to the 'bad' guy/girl. It says something about us. When the good thing comes around..just don't know what to do with it...here is where introspection is needed.
Those of us who have learned what we want through trial and error are told that our standards are too high and that we'll never find what we are looking for. I know what I want...the hard part is finding it. At the end of the day I want a dude that can go from the boardroom to the street corner in a sense (versatile) and of course he has to be kind,etc. but I don't want no doormat :)
Since you're doing your best, I believe the best woman for you will meet you at home in the morning eventually. :)
D@mned jones! you hurt'n 'em. Preach brother preach.
I co-sign this post in a major way. I've experienced what you have laid down.
problem is universal however. women have become so indecisive as a result of a majority of men becoming indecisive and feminized puzzies. As a result women can't deal with a real man because they haven't had the opportunity to ever get to know what a real man is. Daddy wasn't or momma didn't know how to deal with a real man either so...
Oh well. this is turning into a post. Great read jones.
i am guilty of some of those ... but what I am not guilty of is not taking a free meal especially from a men that knows how to cook ... so if you want to make me fat please do lol.
At the end of the day...when all the B/S is behind you...the family IS most important.
Believe it or not- Some women get intimidated by guys who are on a higher level than themselves. Most feel they can handle it and the rest claim thats what they want. Then there are the few who love an intellect. I enjoy a man, people in general, that I can learn from. There's no need for me to associate myself with those who I cannot feed off of in a positive manner. My goal is to always elevate my mind to that next level.
BTW- It's cool that you can speak 2 African languages! Wow
Bruised, battered and scarred but hard huh? There are women out there that know, appreciate the dignified qualities of a real man and she's in touch with the essence of her omnipotentness. Most importantly and above all else she understands the interrelationship of the two and to that end she can hold down the home, mother the babies, and take your load (the ejaculation and weariness of your day) off. All this and never miss a beat, find your axe hanging by the door on your way out the next morning! There exist women in tune with the cliffdwelling, ancient astronomers and our roles as cradlers. You can recognize us by the strength in our backs.
I hear you. In my 17 year marriage, I have grown and evolved through some deep, roots-shaking introspection. In short, many women are confused. Perhaps they are mis/un diagnosed, but the core of it is a failure to discern between what they want and what they need. And, we've all heard, "what you want ain't always good for you"!
"like a man who can cook but I’m trying to get them fat."
*LOL*! I should be thankful then, for a really lovely husband who can't cook an egg ;)
greetings from the netherlands!
ABOUT, 80% of women are bipolar...please! lol
"I was speaking with some Nigerians in Igbo and next to them these folk from Senegal in Wolof at same time."
that is so hot.
"that they like a family man but I spend too much time w my kids (they the shit)"
better believe it. Did this woman really expect you to cut your time with your yute dem...for her? Foolishness!
Personally I think its part of a womans mental growth when she realizes that it aint all about the breddas dem on road 24/7 trying to be gangsta, but really about the man who is trying to better himself and encouraging her to do also so that they can reach a higher heights, together in a mutual attempt to live harmoniously together and create melodies.
Ok that was my smart moment of the day. lol x
I guess women are hard to please and more than likely it will be that way until the end of time. It is what it is. I love being a woman but I always say that when I leave this earth and if I could come back as any person I would want to be a man. Men are more simple than women know.
im feeling this post! being as though I deal with women I feel u on this. women can be so confusing...saying we want one thing then get it and dont want it. i think its b/c women get used to being in fucked up situations that when a good one comes along they dont know how to take it, so they turn from it. good post babes.
roflmao!!! Yes, 80% of women are bi-polar!!! Hell yeah! Great Post!
Cynamin
dont know about the 80% kind of high statistically - and the world would be out of medication
Soulstress
sounds good, but what is right though - so subjective , im talking content, character and integrity
Lina
communication is the key
Pajnstl
it is true and thank u babes
ODARA
thanks babe, but how about prince hole in her head lol
Katrina
see u spoiled and dont be bratty. im sure u will work the kinks out since u can see such about yourtself - but some folks cant and dont
Amina
we can eat any day folk and thanks
The Socialite
the query then is what were u looking for? which suggest the person did not know
OG, The Original Glamazon
lol well said and u a different breed, and so u say, like the ying Yangs, wait til us cee my .... lol
Lena
but what is a good guy or nice man?
and u better or else - lol
Big Cheekz
im down do that folk
RealHustla
your mom is bipolar - so u know
(fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik]
i can see that and pyrite is ALL it is
The Dreamy One
thanks babe and glad u back and in your element FALL
Obama Mama
good for u keep that relationship tight
GlamACE
why were u speechless and why did u pass them up?
obama mama, the wife and mother
u think?
Marleaux
u may have a point man meat and man milf is for Wo-man Women complain about your cooking, because you cook those ass-spreading meals. classic
Shelly
so true and great point
Ms. Jones
and whats a dormat - walk all over. never that but never take kindness as a weakness either
Dee S.
Thank u hon
Folk
jones make a post if u want folk LOL
memphiz
i got a free meal waiting on u and what are u guilty of specifically? do tell
Roschelle
so true
Wes
y would i intimidate u? and what does wow mean, is that good.
Nicki Nicki Tembo
thansk hon, i need a load acceoter on the real 3 to 5 times a day would be great
T.Allen-Mercado
true and good for yawl keep that relationship tight
Linda
LOL u silly
Dope Fiend
yea, im with u on that
u mean hot as get u wet? lol
Sheliza
yes we are - but thet belive us
iCandy21
thanks folk, do return and dont be such a mack moma
Brandi Bates
where have u been woman - how are the book sales going
Don't knock bi-polar women; we're the shit! LOL
Seriously, you remind me of my boy. He's smart as hell, artistically inclined, fine, got common sense and dreams. But he persists in hooking up with women who aren't there yet. They can't handle him when he wants to show his vulnerable side.
Some where out there, there is a woman who loves everything about you. Mostly because she loves everything about herself. The women you cited as examples have issues themselves; but that's not all sisters.
And when you find the woman who leaves red tonail polish on the wall behind your headboard AND in the thoughts running through your head, you'll know you're home.
I don't even know where to begin on this one. Let's start with tv raising our children with these crazy shows...that portray the woman with the nice guy, leaving him when something more mysterious/adventurous comes around the corner.
A woman who is sure of herself and knows what she wants, will realize that anything and everything being done for her is out of love and/or adoration.
Most women are constantly focused on their weight, don't forget they were a certain size when you met them. Now a real man cooking high-fat food for their woman would not care if she were to put on a little weight and would know his meals are the cause of her weight gain, if she were to eat the food...LOL!!! I'm so thankful I'm the one doing most of the cooking!
Do realize there are women who will appreciate and love you for you, not for what they want from you. Sometimes we women have a hard time seeing the big picture, but sooner than later we usually do.
- Women complain about my sex drive as well as the size of man hood
- women who say they like a smart man and say I'm too smart
- a man with street sense but say I shouldn’t carry a gat or my folk dangerous
- they like a family man but I spend too much time w my kids (they the shit)
- a man who can cook but I’m trying to get them fat.
Ok, I had to put them in a list. It seems you attract controlling, indecisive, or insecure women. Why is that?
As for sex drive, you gotta be good at bringing on the interest, and also realize that sometimes it's just not the time... What about letting her masturbate you?
But you know all this...
I feel so clinical today...
Haha.... this was funny to me because it is true. You know, women just complain. It's what we do to see what you're going to say and how you're going to handle it. But if some girl has a problem with you being too smart that is just crazy because personally I can't stand when men are TOO DUMB. They need to be smarter than me or I'm going to get very bored with them and very quick. But I guess that's just me.
LMAOFF @ women aint like cereal boxes! That is soooooooo funny.
But I gotta disagree, I think you can tell if a woman in "off" within the first 15 mins of talking.
Great post!
*still laughing*
Right! Break it off before sunrise, hit you up on a lunch break, pull you off into the laundry room in the evening in between loads, after dinner and putting the babies to bed put the full nelson down and knock yo azz out too. When else is a woman supposed to find time to do her nails? These females just ain't doing it right! Some old women taught me that!
Family comes before all! If everyone acted that way the world would be a much better place...
"Once, I had a woman call me a show off, cause I was speaking with some Nigerians in Igbo and next to them these folk from Senegal in Wolof at same time. All I have is my mind and my family u know, for real though."
You weren't showing off, you were fellowshipping and relating to your folks, brothers from other mothers, SHE was jealous.
the thing about a man like you is...you seem like you need a woman that is just as conscious--one with the confidence to let her man be HIS OWN man and is able to accept that you have children that are not hers and can "fall in line".
Their hard to find these days...I'm sure you know that already but you're right. Sometimes a woman can be very bi-polar and can't be satified even when you do everything right.
p.s. I got that email coming for ya...I just been in gear with school. My second class started on monday and this mess involves a lil math which requires extra effort on my part. This English major can't get with math so easily. :-(
folk, you sound like my kinda man....its hard to find a good mate. Sometimes I wonder if its harder for men or women. A lot of men say that women are moody and too difficult but men kinda scare me cause I can NEVER tell if they are sincere...I think they ALL ONLY want to fuck and I know that's not what all men are about...shit, its hard out here for a slut...lol....just kidding.....maybe...
great post!!!
Man oh man. U just hit it on the head (no pun intended)...... happened to me b4. Had a LOT of good brothers b4 me and just didn't want them bcuz I was young, dumb and tied up into someone retarted. Now I'm trying to work with the good guy who hopefully won't play me to the left.
EVERYONE NOT JUST WOMEN NEED TO SIT DOWN AND ASK WHAT THEY WANT AND STICK TO IT. I can write a post how men have the best thing in front and they still looking.
so if we stick to what we wanted and worked on it ( a lil KY never hurt, it would help) no one would be bipolar!
You talk about how women act but what about yall...yall are the same way when the roles are reversed yall take on the same attitudes we do so we're pretty much a like in a sense. I "dated" someone for a while and despite all his flaws I treated him so good massaged his back, helped him out when times were hard, made him feel like a real man, again despite his flaws casue lord knows he had a lot but I'm not gonna go there but anyway he really couldn't handle my kindness and I'm not saying I was perfect throughout our "relationship" but I feel he just couldn't handle it!
At some point in life we all fall victim to either not knowing what the hell we want and/or wanting something (or someone) we can't have.
Some women may be carrying baggage from previous relationships which makes it easy for them to know exactly what they DON'T want. Other women may have never been exposed to or treated a certain way, and therefore may not know how to receive it. This can result in actions that men often deem as different, ungrateful or even 'crazy'.
At times, I will admit, that we do have a tendency to get in our own way when it comes to relationships... but that too could be a deeper issue.
We (women) are emotional beings and for the most part, it isn't that difficult to please us. Women are actually rather simple... we need honesty, respect, stability and consistency. Everything else is negotiable! LOL!
Just my thoughts!
women are just too damn picky.
i think it comes from that high school mentality that they never quite shed. that's because it's usually from middle to high school where women develop these specific desires when they get crushes.
then they talk about breaking men apart to create their perfect man.. i want his eyes, but his lips, ooo ooo oo and his muscles.. etc etc etc.. silly shit. but i honestly think they hold on to that "perfect man" like it's the last cup of water on earth.
i think if you ask any woman how their ideal man has changed since high school, we'll find that it generally hasn't changed at all.
unfortunately, there's no such thing as the perfect man. when they've spent some 20 years getting bad men, rejecting good men, and scaring off great men, they settle for the exact opposite of what they wanted in the first place - some short, bald, fat, short-dick retard that they don't have to do much with.
Kellybelle
yea folk, i learned folk canth handle the truth
Meikmeika
im waiting jones u her folk?
NoRegrets
jones mane trophy dick out of season jones
philosopher
u would likely be bored with jones here mane
but im a scientist wish, i wish u would be afeared of folk here jones too
Nicki Nicki Tembo
i counted 5 nutts, im down if u is
Veronica Wright
family is the truth. thats all i knoe. and yea hattterz everywhere we go
Veronica Wright
im waiting folk
Ny
thanks babe if i wanna bone i will say such and folk get they tiny feelings hurt
LexyB
i feel your pain but u a scholar and u know folk
Charece
my fault jones but i dont date or fuc men
LovelyLaLa
so i should be hopeful folk
"women like Umph in a man as the Soulstress wrote in her last post, but from personal experience, I find when they get it, they really don’t want it."
This dichotomy illustrates a lot of what's wrong in today's relationships. Good post!
AT
thats wnhy u are the pre4sident
can i be chief of staff jones, ill handle thangs folk for real though
WOW!!!!!
That was real, hot, stimulating, relatable...wow, I'm speechless
I think as women grow and mature, the appreciation for me of your caliber increases within us.
Um. Ok. Gotta see if they have Raw Dawg on freetranslation.com
My comment didn't say anything about you dating or fucking men I was simply saying that sometimes you men can't handel a good thing either.
I meant to write "handle".
Fave
i feel ya folk really real is retro chic
Queen of My Castle
so u wet now or just burning - lol
NoRegrets
they cant tran slate folk here jones
Charece
i feel u i dont csall them men but rath fk boys or bich azz niggas men can
OKKKKKK..
someone is preaching up in here..word..
i definetely agree..women dont often know what we want, its kinda ingrained in our brain so its not really our fault lol..just do you and ull be aight..
p.s i see u with that igbo!!..:)
For both Torrence and Anthony Taurus maybe your ideas of what women want aren't actually what they want you talk about cooking, having a big dick, and spending time with the family that's all good but maybe there where other areas where you lacked that turned them away.
Sometimes we don't know what we want who does? It's a lot like school. You spend years studying and preparing yourself for a career and when you get it you realized that you spent so many year, time, money and energy on something you can't even stand.
To experience that thing you thought was gonna make you ultimately happy now become something you dread doing so sometimes you experience the same things in a relationship so don't talk shit about us not knowing what we want cause everbody has experienced a time in their lives when they wanted something so badly and when they got it you realized it was nothing like what you expected, period.
I'm irritated that no of these other chicks said it first. They were probably blinded by the "BIG DICK" part.
"I don't ask much, but I give all" That's it d, that says it all.
I don't get much, but when I do it's the fairy tale. I don't worry where she's been, and she doesn't worry about me. Strangers in a strange land, we only need each other, still, after 30 years bro~
Tip of the hat to the community, they always give me something to ponder, a smile, something that doesn't go away after I log off.
btw, i really like the picture of you and your little girl... I hope that one day you'll entertain a visit from this ole reader and his little grand baby girl (bout the same age) up at Brain Cell, perhaps. Perhaps even work out a deal for some dog food (drop shipped), as I've a plethora of the little beasties ;)~
btw, gk was full of himself, d, presuming a communities guilt, and that he was sent by G-D as an instrument... is like saying that those drowned in a sunami were guilty and therefore were punished... purile tripe
gk was a self serving opportunist, much as are the rest of his ilk throughout history.
you're better then that,clearly~
that's so hot that you speak igbo and wolof! so hot!
um...though i hate to admit it, this post was just about right. i think a lot of times people think they want something, but i wonder if you really know what it is you want until you actually have it. also sometimes, i think women purposely choose horrible guys over good guys cause they won't be responsible if things eff up or they are more afraid of things that are longterm and sustainable than they thing. ultimately, i think when people are truly ready, they are open to what would really make them happy.
PS: I would pick up the ax too if those would be the men i'd be among.
I had to take a day to think about my response to this post.
It is not hard for me to imagine that you could be an intense individual about many facets of life. You probably are a lot of fun when the time is right. But not everyone knows how to flex in that manner.
Intelligence is an odd duck within our culture. We laude it on one hand and loathe it on the other.
I believe that it the beginning of a good relationship with someone. I have lived just long enough to realize that you'd have to satisfy me above the waistline first.
Family is everything in my opinion. I have a lot of respect for a man who loves his family and is willing to put them where they belong in his heart and mind~first.
That link was tight, you good peoples for that one. I meant to tell you that shit last weekend.
Just something real quick...
There's a special woman out there for you, just keep ya eyes open. she'll be one to handle ALL of what you have to offer and ALL of what you want to offer.
Dont knock ALL when you've only had a few.
I think we have a problem of overcomplicating issues, especially with things that have nothing to do with the individual.
For example, I have a friend who refused a second date with a guy because of the clothes he wore. Mind you, this brother was a PHd scientist (almost as smart and intelligent as myself just not quite as smooth. lol). And there are other instances of petty issues.
The question is how typical is that situation. How many women have rejected a guy because he looks a certain way, can't dance, has a 7" dick instead of the required 9" dick, and so on. I am sure there many women looking at that short list and saying, "NO, NO, and HELL NO!" And that would be the exact problem of complicating matters by giving weight to petty issues.
We all have good and bad things about us. I think too many women, men included but women moreso, apply equal weight to major and minor things. It doesn't make sense that a woman would find a man she felt was handsome, smart, intelligent and then consider his "two left feet" to be a deal breaker. That's irrational.
Ladies, just love me and let me love you. All that other shit can be worked on. lol.
I swear i am bipolar... and until i figure myself out, i'm not trying to drag a guy into the madness...
=]
interesting post & thanks for the comment :)
hmmm, I feel ya on that....if that was the case many of our relationships would look like:
Hes a cheater
Hes got money
He has a disease or
Shes insecure
She has kids
Shes a dike....and so on....
thanks for that man!
JONES: You are a serious troublemanker, you know that?
I look to YOU as a civilizing adult influence on my WORST instincts. You have definitely helped me get over a lot of things and you've led me down a righteous path. I am a more peaceful person for reading your blog.
My real life requires me to be a son of a bitch sometimes. I try to keep that separate from my online life. I'm going to assume that you're blowing off steam and your words of calm and understanding still obtain.
The man I am is hardly the man I ever expected to have to be but that's what I have to deal with and I make the best of it without too much complaint.
Please don't give me a license to EXPRESS any of my feelings! You've put in too much work in helping me to sand down the feral edges, buddy.
Besides "give and take and sacrifice", there's also ...
times to compromise for peace or just because you love
times to take a stand (sleep in the guest room) to force awareness of issues
times to take a breather and think before you speak, harsh words can be forgiven but not forgotten
times to hand her the ax if need be
most of all, be aware that all actions have consequences
Maybe I'll do a blog series on relationships, hmmm
This was a great post.
There's not too much else that I can add of value, but you did put some things on my mind.
uNWrItten*
kedu ka ida taa?
Charece
my mind is bigger and better than my dick folk
esin
i aint mad at GK - we was aq conqueror
Young woman on a journey hot how so - lol. im down ax woman
msladydeborah
family and god - yep
Tha BossMack TopSoil
was hoping u liked that folk
Undeniably...Deep aka Tina-B
thanks babe wasnt knocking them all, many women on thgis post didnt feel the shoe fit so dint take it as such, and i hope u right
President Anthony Taurus
yep u are the shit u had me rollling folk
Gorgeous Geek
not the geek - u scarinmg me was that smile a warning folk
Dorkys R.
thanks for the love folk and do come back by when u can
Kin'shar
dang folk lol
KELSO'S NUTS
how am i making trouble, wzait til our talk show. lol and u have better than that u have carte blanc
sista gp
hmm, so true and well said, just6 dont be hiding my ax woman is all i say lol
LB
thanks sister and do come back when u can plssssssss
Yeah,
Folk (2 mo times and its part of my vocab. lol) I know its a woman out there thats ready to let you be the man you are. Just don't get scared off too easily and give up. Also find you a girl that either likes to eat and knows how to get the weight or don't mind the extra weight, cause shoot i wish my man could cook. I wouldn't complain either (I like to eat). lol
(to answer your comment on my last post: Obama Mama its all poetry. Obama Mama, the wife and mother is my commentary on the world and my relationship).
So much truth in this post. Especially the part about women saying hety want something and then cant handle it when they get it. I know a lot of women like that and its annoying. They go through relationship after relationship wondering where it went wrong, but they dont hear me bc i dont waste my time on these relationships i know arent gonna last ...
Good post
Great post. You got it exactly right when you said that women can't decide what it is they want.
Women would rather have a man who is super hood than super smart. Cuz if he's too smart, he ain't hood enough and vice versa.
I think intelligence is an aphrodisiac. Speaking multiple languages is the bomb. If the chic had a problem, it was because she felt inferior in that moment. Not secure in herself.
Keep doing you...a woman will recognize the God in you and appreciate your values.
You'd think women would thank their lucky stars that they met a man who puts family first. All these deadbeat daddies out here...those negroes can take a lesson from you.
I applaud you and your security in your self.
Keep maintaining.
women are confusing. men are confusing. the dating game's messed up & yet not complicated its that easy.
we think we know what were looking for, Ive met guys that seem perfect on paper, even in person, nice guys, want to make me happy, spoil me, but if there's not attraction, there's no attraction. what's a girl to do, wait for it to grow? settle?
I still don't know what I want even when a good man is staring me right in the face. The older I get, the pickier I get...I guess.
This is uncanny - I got a similar statement from an intelligent and outspoken(southern)guy a few days ago. He was also referring to women in general.
As someone already said, relationships are give and take. No relationship is going to work if you harbor this generalization about all women. Some of us know exactly what we want and value all the things you say we complain about.
Dreamy: "like you i have been that women that has been everything that man claims he needed but in the end i was never enough."
Me too. At least once a week I get asked why I'm not married. Hmmm - good question, when you figure it out let me know.
RDB: Intellegence is beautiful. Women should appreciate the beauty that is your mind and creative self and allow themselves to experience it.
I can also appreciate that we are insecure creatures and that sometimes we don't feel good enough to keep you even if we have you in our arms.
This post is so the truth!
Women so often struggle with wanting to be with that nice guy with the hard exterior.
Be blessed!
Obama Mama
glad to see u up on your memphisian LOL
RunGirl.
thats scarey - cant handle it. u rwady for the new gig folk
Ieisha
thank u babe, i think my brain is the most attractive attribute i have
Bombchell said...
it is not settling unless u hjave an image of perfection or prince charming. They may exist inhj nursary rhymes, but when one accepts the real world - they deal with relationships in a real world, real life manner and not make belive - thinks thats another point of consternation
kayellejaye
thats all im saying many (nt all) dont klnow what they want
Anonymous
it wasdnt for all women, thats why i said my expereinces not all, sorry for advancing such a louction was not the case as u can see by the women on this page and their comments
RunningMom
great points and thank u for the compliment sister. but why insecure - i wasa taught such is a direct route to failure
The Artist In Me
i have no hard exterior
wow, i think you just inspired my next post.
it's true that women can be fickle when it comes to men. and for once, i don't even think i can say that men are the same way. i mean, men do have the tendency of pursuing the unattainable chick while he has one who loves and adores him by his side, but i think that's more of an ego/hormonal thing. with women, it's a combination of thrill and indeciveness; the nice guys get rejected because things come too easily, and the guys who "have it all" seem too good to be true...i know it doesn't make sense.
but after being beat over the head enough by the not-so-nice guys, a girl will learn that the thrill isn't so thrilling when she's crying half the time. it's just a learning experience.
i don't think that people in general know what they want because people in general don't know who the fuc they are themselves...that's the issue...you can't possible know what you want if you don't know who you are...
people chase the fantasy-the dream-the leading man-the video gurl, not realizing that that is not necessarily real or real love...like you said its love and scarifice and its no longer about you but it becomes we...but if you don't know who the hell YOU are first you will never get the we
Bloggal
so u gone give yo folk here some love on that post jones
T.C.
i know what i want folk. and know who i am which may be worse
When my girlfriends complain about the same old complaints about the men the encounter over and over - I tell them that they're attracting and are attracted to the wrong men.
I think the same thing of the women you're with. If you keep encountering women who don't enjoy your cooking, your intelligence and your commitment to family - then you are attracted to the wrong kind of woman. Because every woman I know puts her family first and enjoys good food, intelligent conversation.
And, not to put you down, but if women continually complain about the size of your dick - then you just aren't doing it right. In my experience, the only time any man feels too big is when he's pounding away for his own pleasure and not taking time to make sure his partner is sufficiently aroused and enticed. Maybe you need to change your approach and you won't get so many complaints.
What attracts you to a woman in the first place? I hear you saying a lot about how you're not appreciated. And a lot about what you don't want. And a lot about what a woman should do for you. But what draws you to a woman in the first place. You need to start looking at that - because that's where it all starts.
Fat Lady
like i said. most cases i was amorphous , but i think u got it all wrong, what u talke of is making the sale
i mean i do the same thing when offered faculty positions at emory, vandebilt. what the hire is what the like and get. but once they get it, they see it is what the wanted, but they cant control. nope folk aint me - morso expectations, and true, i have the belief women should be like my mom and grand[parents and men the same
Damn, someone would make a lot of money creating translation sites for various US sub-languages.
PS, HAD is the operative word...
Your post is so on, my brother. There are so many women who are indecisive and unsure. But, if you look on the other hand, there are some men out there who make women act the way they do.
It has become so bad that women do not wait on their intended mate but in retrospect settle for something less. Women need to wake up and smell the proverbial coffee and become the Proverbs 31 women that GOD intended them to be.
Again great post.
i don't believe 80% of women are bipolar. I think the problem is the lack of communication. people are afraid to be real & say what they really want. i mean, i'm only 21 but i can see that people don't talk to each other like they should. they hold back....or send text messages.
LOL-I'm actually laughing at some of the comments not the post itself although what you wrote is truth. Oh wait I just changed my mind..oh wait I changed it back. j/k
Somtimes what we thought we wanted is not what we needed, so we change our ideals and wants based on that. I've dated all over the map and I can honestly say it took a while for me to find my equal. If it were supposed to take a lifetime, I would have waited....but I'm not other women.
And like a few people have stated " Intimidation is a mofo"
Socialite has it right. When we change our minds, it's because we weren't sure in the first place. In the meantime, let me suggest this Sting song to you.
ON POINT! Dig it..so dig it. I can't even argue about that, woman are never satisfied. I know, I always want more! lol
I will agree that women claim to want a certain thing and when its in their face asking for commitment they freak and go for someone on the other end of the spectrum. I also think opposites attract but people stick with what is safe. If momma said nice is safe, then I'm going to date nice but fuck a thug on the side. It makes no sense, but its life.
To be truthfully honest i am too interested in setting myself right then wondering what my man can do to enhance my life.
If he can cook...all good i need to eat,
If he put his kids first i know if we have any our children has a full time daddy regardless
If he can speak more than one language...teach me something
Big dick...take it slow
In life there are always time when compromise is the only answer
I've had my bi-polar momments and more time its because i am not completly satisfied with where my life is heading and he will go say something stupid to break the camels back.....what happens next???? I cuss his rarse out!! He thinks what the hell have i done now. Ultimately communication and knowing what you don't want is the answer. Sometimes!!
LOL...That shit was funny as hell. I don't cook often so the only way I could my lady fat is with the Dilsnick and get her pregnant..Which I already did...lol...
Women are funny like that.I just do what they do and pretend...If I know they're not on my level intellectually, but they have other redeeming qualities I might dumb myself down.
If the Manhood is too big I'll buy a bottle of Ky and won't put my back all the way in it....lol
You seem like a good brotha just need good sista that's willing to recieve You in more ways than the obvious...: )
I am not intimidated by a guy who is "higher" than me or whatever you want to call it. I just want a guy to appreciate and respect what I'm about. Dudes refuse to understand that if you just keep good with a female that she will take care of you. Now there are some out there that don't know how to act when they get a good man, but those can be dealt with accordingly. As for me, I just want someone to tell the truth. You wanna hit, then that's what you wanna do. If you want something real, let me know and maybe we can do that. I don't like the run around of you trying to get in my pants and fucking my head up. That's just too much.
I think it is great to find a man that has many facets. One that you would feel safe with if something were to jump off. One that you could take to a business meeting and he would impress coworkers and a big member. Wow. Where have u been all my life. LOL (Just joking people).
I really think people should really assess themselves and find out what they really want from their other half.
As the elders tell me: Just keep livin'...what's & who's meant for u will come your way.
NoRegrets
lol
LISABOO35
thanks sister, age of the video teacher over the mom maybe
Kieya
i never said that and only made ref to a specific person
mrs. mary mack
girl u should be a comic but i see what u saying
Dagny
i love that song maam
Sha Boogie
so i will never win?
Francesca
i think i see what u mean, i go with what my actions are, maybe women are safer than men
Ezme
communication is key if one is honest with themselves first and always slow long strokes, well a plow every now and then instincts
Mr.Slish
yea folk - lol- u my kinda people
*Blog Ladi*
i fell u but when i do such im called foul
Seymone
never thought of me as impresive
CapCity
elders speak the truth
I'm not one for defending other women, because I don't understand their thought process, nor do I my own at times. But I would like to at least be proud of the fact that I know when I'm a little off and I recognize that.
But, you'll find the one that is for you...one that is not intimidated by all your greatness. JB
torrance, i know u didnt say that
the first response to your post caught my eye & i was responding to that.
Glad you liked the song. Just remember. He keeps saying, "That's my baby." To me that says that he accepts all the "craziness" because he loves her. Love can make you blind to a lot of things. And sometimes it's a good thing.
this post was sick!
i want me a man that can cook, clean, is smart, then can dick me down real good!!!
know anybody like that????
p.s...how can a dick be "too" big??? lol
Just Startin' Out jb i am patient and i hope so b4 i die
Kieya
lmbao
Dagny i aint stevie wonder thats my problem - i see action hon
poison.ivy
is sic good? we maybe be able to find some one what exactly u got in mind. and dk i have been told such - 4 real though
sick is VERY good!!
Only a grown woman can give a man an axe.
Only a grown woman wants a man that can handle an axe, his kitchen, his children, his mind and his dick.
Choose wisely.
So are you saying that women and employers say they want what you have to offer, but then when they get it, it turns out they don't like it?
If that's the case, then my question remains the same - Why do you keep choosing people and situations that don't appreciate who you are and what you have to offer?
When something happens once - then maybe it's the other person. When it keeps happening with different people then you really have to look at yourself. If all your assets go unappreciated again and again - then either your assets aren't as great as you think or there's some reason you keep choosing to align yourself with people who can't appreciate them.
All I'm saying is look to yourself. You can't figure out or change women or employers - but you can figure out yourself and change how you're doing things.
I’ve never married and I'm no expert on relationships but over the years I've gotten to know myself and what I need now in a man is totally different than when I was in my 20's. I have a wonderful man in my life now and he brings it (the whole package) and I'm lovin' it.
I agree that women may not want what they have, but for me it’s been because I didn’t have a strong sense of purpose about who I was but over time as I’ve built a strong sense of self. I have clarification of what I need/want/desire from my man.
In my experience, a man will step to you in a way that's not who he really is so when you get to know him you realize he's not the person he presented himself to be. I don’t mind if a man isn’t on my level but be honest.
Relationships are a work in progress and it takes two people working 100% to maintain the balance in the relationship, without the effort of each person giving their full percent then something in the relationship is going to suffer.
Great post and thanks for the invitation to check out your blog.
I am HELLA late on this so I'm sure I'll be redundant, I apologize in advance. We all grow and mature. And as you grow what you want, thought you wanted, thought you needed-- changes along the way. It's true some people male or female are just insatiable,illogical, selfish or just plain foolish. I find it ridiculous that so many people would pile on and attribute this type of wishy washy behavior to women alone. There are just as many men who display such indecision.
The fact of the matter is that it takes a certain type of woman to love, appreciate and accept a lion, just as it takes a king to have a queen. I find myself often with men who prefer structure, schedules and routine, while my moods change with the wind. There has to be give and take. He may love my shoe game in the beginning and later all he sees is $$$, I may love his fried chicken but later all I see is that scale tipping...can't come up anything for the d*** though. That's preposterous.
There's someone for everyone-I really believe that, as cliche as it sounds, and as jaded as I am. We're all just trying to find the right fit, and I don't know about you but I rarely buy a shoe without walking in it. Sometimes your wrong, you misjudge or what you got isn't quite what you were after. And like a friend once told me, if you keep getting the same result it's time to look within. What's your role? How is it that you keep ending up on this ride? And if your playing your position and these women just can't seem to get their shit right, they're just not ready. I remember my first encounter with a lion. I was in way over my head. He was intoxicating. I feel in love with his mind and everything else followed but I still wasn't ready; and our relationship couldn't grow. I needed to know myself. I had become ready and able to appreciate having that type of person. I had to prepare for all the ups and downs that relationships bring and the inevitable growth/change of myself and partner. It's a lesson everyone-- man or woman will inevitably have to learn.
I agree with everything Kitty Cleopatra wrote above! Not sure if this has already been said, but here goes...You have to really know yourself, and know what you want in a partner. If you love your partner because he is smart and friendly and sociable, you can't get angry at him every time he decides to have a conversation(even in a different language!) with other people. You can't neuter someone's personality to ease your insecurities. If your girl was big when you met her and you still fell in love with her, you can't start complaining about her size after you've moved in together and signed the lease. Of course if the person is willing to change it's fair game but complaining and whining will only strain the relationship. This applies to both men and women!
I would have to agree w/u in that women don't know for sure, exactly what they want. I know I don't. When i got what i wanted then i didn't want it no more.
However, i do know that women and men want a companion that they can grow with. Someone they can expose or teach something too. If you talking Igbo and Wolof then u probably don't need the spanish that i know. if you already carrying your gat, then you don't need the .380 I got under my seat. If you ALWAYS the leader then she's gonna feel like she's on a leash! She's not looking for a "master" to lead her around 24/7 like a dog on a leash, she looking for some1 to walk with her.
I'm not saying that you should downplay what you know! I'm not saying that at all! What I am saying is you may have to humble yourself and follow every once in a while to keep ole girl happy!
And for the Bitch that says you spend to much time with your kids..you should use your gat on her! LOL Just playing!
I'm feeling your Genghis Khan quote! I should send it out to myex! I don't think the issue is so much gender specific (and I say that after having experienced relationships with both men and women). As cleo stated I think growth is a part of the decision to shift and change what they want and need. Although I do think there are some fundamentals that stick with you after you've done enough growing.
Another factor I think is also that we tend to rush into relationships and invest too much too soon. I myself am guilty of it. Self-restraint is such a good virtue. Once we pass the "honeymoon" stage of sharing with a partner, the real person underneath unfolds. So it's worth it to let it sit and marinate for a while- make sure she/he is the person you want to invest with emotionally, spiritually, and otherwise...
BTW... How do you send a twitter message directly onto someone's mobile device?
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