Thursday, October 09, 2008

10 weeks of seperation

I wanted to write something serious but I also miss showing my adeptness at satire. But the reality is shit is about to hit the fan. I know that after November 4th, there will be a ten week period before GWB leaves and the next Jones take office. So I would hope that GWB would care enough about his country to call the new Jones in to talk about our current economic conundrum. I am assuming it will be Barack Obama. And based on this, If I was the President or If I were barrack Obama, I would work in concert to hammer out a plan for this problem. So here goes, with me in the Role of GWB and me as barrack Obama.

GWB - BO, whad up folk, W. How ya living?

BO - Jones mane, just lounging deuce what gives, how is the fam folk?

GWB - We straight Jones. Look a heah, Congrats, but you know I was pulling for my boy on paper, but you the truth, and u make sense, buttarah you know, we got ten weeks left before you take office let's see what we can do to handle this shit.

BO - Str8, I’ll be up that camp today, you at the crib?

GWB - Yea

LATER ON AT THE WHITE HOUSE

BO – This a phatt azz crib, me and lil momma gone be lounging up in this camp

GWB – Yea, its tight aint it?

BO – So what’s up mane?

GWB - So what you been thinking, Cheney gone so we can do this.

BO - Well, I say we need to get manufacturing up and improve the value of the dollar.

GWB - Good, I feel ya, I don’t like giving all that loot to my folk, but K-street, and you know how they do?

BO – yea jones, I also think we need to put at a minimum, a 2% tax on all them derivatives and swaps they pushing, that would get us close to 200 billion back in the first year.

GWB – That’s a good look.

BO: Thanks

GWB – I know we got to do something to increase the value of the dollar, but you aint hear this from me, but we gotta cut out them tax breaks for them oil companies.

BO – yea, we on the same page folk.

GWB – and believe it or not, I got to take care of the regular man. I mean liquor going up and I cant deal with that.

BO – you back on the wagon?

GWB – naw jones, well a little taste every now and then (exchange of dap)

BO – Yea and we need to make them oil companies pay for the land they using too, and reduce as much war spending as we can.

GWB – (shaking his how) don’t know how we gonna be able to do that jones?

BO – we can, and last but not least, we gotta repeal the Commodity Futures Modernization Act of 2000, now hear me out W, I know Phill Gramm your folk, but he a dumb fuck.

GWB – (Shaking his head in agreement)…well lets put it on paper, you alright folk, in the end we all Americans, and its all about us. And our America aint black or white or GOP or Democrat, its green.

BO – Yea man (exchange dap).

GWB – so what’s the deal folk, you gotta go now, if not lets go watch some football.

BO – I’m down mane.

I would hope that GWB would extend his hand out to the next President since shit is real in the field, and I hope he may actually be Barack Obama, even in his ineptness in knowledge related to Economics and foreign policy. This is how would do it, what says you jones? vote

83 comments:

The Bear Maiden said...

That was funny.

Tayo (AllTayo.com) said...

If only, hmmmm.... lol, hilarious

Kayos said...

that was the funniest ish I have heard in a long ass time!!!

Good one folk!

Queen said...

I was picturing it as I read...Hahahaha!! thanks for that laugh...I needed it this morning!

Lovebabz said...

Love it! Very witty and very appropriate!

Bravo!

Villager said...

Excellent satire! Oddly enough I see that GWB signed an 'executive order' dealing with the transition plan from his administration to the next. Perhaps your conversation above is more on-target then we know...

peace, Villager

Nicki Nicki Tembo said...

You're a mess! There's never any telling what springs from your mind. Just curious, do you laugh at that shit as you key or are you intense?

Chick Lit Gurrl said...

You have me in my office trying hard not to laugh TOO loudly. LOL That was utterly priceless.

But when the laughter subsides, I can't help but to shake my head and say, "Damn, I wish."

Demon Hunter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kitty Cleopatra said...

"me and lil momma gone be lounging up in this camp"
LMAO!!! I swear I wanted to go the rest of the day without hearing the words "Obama" "McCain" or "economy" but that was right on time. No much to laugh at in this crazy situation otherwise...well except fo Palin.

Demon Hunter said...

I thought about them actually making this exchange. Hilarious. Send it to SNL. :-)

By the way, what does Jones and Folk mean? I've been meaning to ask that? ;-)

Sylvia said...

LOL! Don't I wish GWB would grow sense and try some collaboration with whomever gets in the White House. The more polarization and racism in the slough to Nov. 4th, the more depressed I get that we're going to be suffering for a long while.

If it does happen this amicably, that'd be a pure miracle of work happening across an aisle. Lovin' this.

maylady84 said...

That's funny! I would hope that W would welcome Barack to a sit down so he can discuss how he fucked up the economy. However, I highly doubt that.

I wonder if they discard the "king's english" and adopt slang when they are alone! to be a fly on the wall...

Good job!

freemanpress said...

Sometimes when you F*ck up the world you want to get out of the spotlight. I think GWB will leave even earlier that way he doesn't have to take responsibility.

GWB - I quit here's my notice

BO- Aren't you going to give us at least two weeks notice for transition.

GWB - You have the F*ckin notice in your hand!

poison.ivy said...

lol...i love that u added ur all-mi-t swagger

Miss Soul said...

That was too well done. Nice job folk. I had tears in my eyes of two different kinds reading that. On the serious side of things W. does NEED to reach out to the next man and yes I am praying on it be Obama.

Tera said...

You're right Good Doctor...I needed that laugh! :)

Sheliza said...

add comedian to your long list of what you do! You have me rolling over here. I love the exchange of dap over the talk of liquor. You are a mess! I needed that humor just now. :P

Lina said...

That made my day...wish it would happen in real life.

Gorgeous Geek said...

Hahahaha.... hilarious
=]

KELSO'S NUTS said...

JONES: A 2% tax on derivatives turnover? For real?

You really do want to take food out of my boy's mouth, huh?

What number did you think El Uruguayo and I were playing to when we were running French money in total return swaps? We played to about 1 3/4 c on turnover. And we were good. We weren't that big, maybe we had a capital base of $20 mm and a 20% override plus our own capital commitment of $200,000. So with the override, we were plaing to 2.05c. You'd only let me make 0.05c/$?

In some year's we played to MINUS. We were still turning the $20mm over 5-20 times. Let's say we played to -2c/$ on $200mm turnover. On your system, we'd be playing to -4c/$ on $200mm. Thanks, you just cost us and our backers an extra $4,000,000 with your PROGRESSIVE tax.

He and I weren't OPPRESSING anyone. With what? Our laptops? Our Wendy's fuckin cheeseburgers?

No sale on that one, buddy. Life's not fair. You're at Morehouse. I'm on the street-corner. Or I'm at UCLA and you're on the street corner. Tough tit for me. Tough tit for you. That's how it goes sometimes.

I survived spinal menengitis. Am I looking to put a tax on every person who didn't have two years of daily spinal taps, and two years of intense physical therapy to build my body back to normal?

I never thought it would come to this, but you go play Robin Hood with someone else's money, not mine, oiste?

KELSO'S NUTS said...

T: I don't believe in the supernatural but there was some luck in the fact that before reading your tax policy, I'd taken some Medellin-99%, put it in a stainless steel spoon, put that much bicarbonate of soda again in, a few drops of distilled water, click click with a lighter, and a clean Lebanese water pipe nearby plus a cup of hot chocolate and some Mozart. Because that tax policy WOULD HAVE DESTROYED (I give myself credit again for a good decision in leaving the USA)MY BUSINESS AND PROBABLY BANKRUPTED ME.

Wow. You're the sharpest guy I know. But Americanos, mane....jeez...there isn't a good one in the bunch of 300mm.

Lauren1904 said...

Ummmm, yea...okay..

I thought you wasn't an Obama supporter?

NoRegrets said...

GWB is practicing the lingo as we read...

msladydeborah said...

LMBAO,

You are too silly! Lol!

If only W was as well thought out as you, we might not be in this hot mess.

LOL!
and a piece of chocolate 4U

laughing808 said...

first off I'm LMAO @ me in the Role of GWB and me as barrack Obama

then I ROFL @ This a phatt azz crib, me and lil momma gone be lounging up in this camp

Lastly, high five @ I mean liquor going up and I cant deal with that.

blackgirlinmaine said...

That was funny as all get out. Why could I actually see such an exchange happening?

Miriam said...

That was hilarious! I'm picture GWB with his twang! lol

But honestly, I don't think he cares all that much about America.

T.C. said...

here to definitely hoping that the 10 weeks will be a means to bridge the gap...one can only hope!

and you are too much...lol

Rich said...

Jones, that was some funny stuff right there.

@Demon Hunter - As best as I can tell from following the All-mi-t for some time now "Jones" is like saying "Man", as in "What's up Jones." However, sometimes it's followed by the Memphis form of the word "man" and you get a sentence like "What's up Jones Mane". In that case, just assume your "folk" (your people) are just really glad to see you.

Jones can also be lent as an expression to any sort of fellow. Someone you know or don't know.

Folk is more a term of endearment. If I'm remembering correctly. Only your closests "peeps" get labeled as "folk". As in, "Them my folk right there."

T, you will have to correct me if I'm wrong.

Law said...

You are too silly... ha ha ha ha... but I loved it... smile...

Good work!!!

Undeniably...Deep aka Tina-B said...

Ya imagination was running when you thought of this one. I likes. Maybe you should run for pres. (someday?...maybe?...think about it).

Well, those 10 weeks between election day and anaguration (mispelled like a MF) is gonna be something serious.

But...this put a smile on my face (nonetheless).

mrs. mary mack said...

lol damn!

President Anthony Taurus said...

If Obama and Bush call each other jones, mane, and folk, I'm out! LOL

Pajnstl said...

GWB – and believe it or not, I got to take care of the regular man. I mean liquor going up and I cant deal with that.

FUNNY!

good post humourous but its what really needs to be discussed prior to the changing of the guards

T.Allen-Mercado said...

Very funny!

Tigress said...

That was great! :-D You know, I'll be the first to say I don't know a lot. But you know, the first time I heard Obama speak he touched a spot in my heart. He's touched the hope and needs of people who are crying out for change, for a fair shake in a world that doesn't seem to give a damn about them. I'm hoping he wins because I have that hope too. Lord knows a lot of us could be wrong but I think when you see that ray of hope you throw out your lasso, catch the tail and hope for the best ride of your life. It can't get much worse than it is now... can it? This election, I'm standing on hope rather than 4 more years of the last eight... or for that fact, the last month.

jade said...

LOL! hilarious! just what i needed after a loooooooong day.

if only...

Linda said...

*lol* You crazy :P
Very funny though!

greetings from the netherlands!

Angel said...

Thanks for giving me a smile!

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

The Bear Maiden
thanks and how have u been

Tayo (AllTayo.com)
i know thats right

Kayos
thanks jones

Queen
glad to assist your day

Lovebabz
satire is my speciality thanks


Villager
email me the link to the EO

Nicki Nicki Tembo
yes and mess is an understatement

Chick Lit Gurrl
anita baker - i apologize


Kitty Cleopatra
im gonna hit palin up next week

Demon Hunter
u think they would use it, and see rich response below

Sylvia
u and me both

maylady84
y thank u sister

freemanpress
now that was funny

poison.ivy
me got swag? lol

Miss Soul
sry to make u cry maam lol

Tera
good now get out the dumps

Sheliza
well i try and thanks


Lina
u and me both


Gorgeous Geek
hope i made your day a lil

KELSO'S NUTS
u know u laughed folk and it is opnly applied to the folks we gave that 700 billion plus to and AIG and the rest, not the general public

Lauren1904
i dont support any poly tricksters but he still folk

supporter?
NoRegrets
u think lol

msladydeborah
thank u and a mess i will be, and neckbones over chocolates


laughing808
lol u silly, i am too


blackgirlinmaine
if they were from memphis it would lol


Miriam
"looka heah" lol


T.C.
jesse jackson - keep hope alive


Rich
nope, u got it right big daddy good look

Law
doing my duty sister

Undeniably...Deep aka Tina-B
who would vote for me lol


mrs. mary mack
i hope u aint laugh too loud

President Anthony Taurus dont do it jones lol

Pajnstl
yep he still on the wagon lol


T.Allen-Mercado
was hopping it would make u laugh

Tigress
i understand, it is just i still the same old politics with him to and it saddens me


jade
thanks and if only is right

Linda
i have been told such lol


Angel
anytime

ErynMyisha said...

OMG that was hilarity!

brran1 said...

I wish the convo would've gone down like this.

the prisoner's wife said...

this reminds me of Harry Shear & his skits on Le Show...those are CLASSIC.

i say you make an audio lol

Monroe Anderson said...

Torrance, you are off the charts man.

Obama Mama said...

man, you crazy for that one. lol. If GWB BO talked like that fa'real, I'd be weak. But anyway you made some good points and hope GWB will help out the next prez, but who knows. If its Barak, then GWB may try to tell BO some shady ish just to try to make him look stupid.

KELSO'S NUTS said...

FOLK: Of course I laughed at the whole piece. It was outstanding.

I just fell out of my chair reading within the satire that a Ron Paul man had gotten on Che Guevara's bike!

Veronica Wright said...

you crazy...lol


Man I'm really hopein folks get out there and vote vote vote and get Barack in there!!!!

Charece said...

That was halarious...and I thought it was gonna be another political blog!

Free said...

I agree with everyone else, def witty! Just hope it would go down in a similar fashion, but something about GWB tells me he's gonna blow some shit up WAY before a sit down! lol

SjP said...

D*amn! U make GWB sound intellgent! And I just luv the "buttarah". I'm gon steal that one....

Much obliged for stopping by earlier today....yeah, had to do some redec cause it was getting on my nerves. You ever heard that saying "when you smell yourself people been smelling you for a long time"? Well, y'all shoulda told me! LOL

Muata Truth Telling said...

Love it! Call that FOOL up. You got the answer!

-Muata

Kellybelle said...

You are waay better at that than Maureen Dowd! LOL. "Butterah" And GWB as a dry drunk who just has a taste. SMH

James Tubman said...

i loved that

its great how you mix street edge with politics

wonderful

if we are to improve the valus of the dollar we have to build up manufacturing

we can start with solar panels

we enough technolgoy to equip every house and apartment complex with solar power

like they are doing in cuba

this will emoploy millions of people

and it will also create new industries and all types of economic growth will come from it

i think this is one of the things obama bin laden is pulling for lol

who knows man

bohemianabstractions said...

That was hilarious!!

LazyCrazyMama said...

LOL!
Too bad ol' gw ain't no where near that smart.
And I so hope its Obama. We totally can't deal with another 4 years like the past 8!

Kitty said...

LOL you know you crazy right?? Have a great weekend!!

Cat said...

I get the feeling Bush will be like the guy who got kicked out the apartment and decides to tear crap up and the new president will be the poor new tennant there to suffer. We will see.

MsPuddin said...

man if GWB had that much swag, I probably wouldnt hate him so much...

Chay said...

lol that was funny

VertigoVirgo said...

this was retarded, lol :) You know I would ba mad as he** if I heard Barack Obama say "mane" and "deuce" up infront of white folks, lol :)

Blog Queen said...

Oh..you had a change of heart. Now you think Obama will win...good bet!

Tha BossMack TopSoil said...

Good shit once again.

brightstarr said...

This has me DYING laughing. Loved it!

Clay Lowe said...

nice piece, had me grinning the whole time...i'd like to see more of your satire...

peace,
warrior-poet

Christopher said...

Poor Barack having to shake the Mofo from Midland's hand!

I hope he washed good after cuz' everyone in Washington is hip to Bush's habit of pickin' his nose and scratching his balls.

Personally, I would never shake Bush's hand.

She Bangz said...

LMA0
too funny
I can only imagine

ŵù gamßina said...

Well put, very Witty!

Sista GP said...

satirical, yes
hilarious, yes
will happen, not likely

at least i forgot my throbbinn
finger for a few minutes

dang, typing ba like u, lol

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

ErynMyisha
thanks where have u been woman

brran1
u and me both

the prisoner's wife
now that is a compliment im flattered

Monroe Anderson
i can see u cracking up now jones

Obama Mama
thin line between brilliance and insanity

KELSO'S NUTS
lol thanks man

Veronica Wright
LMBAO so i have been told

Charece
thanks hon and where have u been

Free
lol thank u very much

SjP
that was not my intention - lol

Muata Truth Telling
LMBAO - when u stopping by my shop folk


Kellybelle
thank u, is she posed to be funny 4 real?

James Tubman
im hoping u write but who knows

bohemianabstractions
thank u sister

LazyCrazyMama
yes it is a shame

Kitty
yes maam i do

Cat
u may be right

MsPuddin
so u saying i got swag - im honored

Chay
thanks hon

VertigoVirgo
pudding say its swag - lol

Blog Queen
just playing mccain would not work for this

Tha BossMack TopSoil
good look folk hope u feeling better


brightstarr
im glad to put a smile on your face

Clay Lowe
good how is the book coming mane

Christopher
lol u are hard core chris

She Bangz
lol well it would if i were them and thanks for the drive by


ŵù gamßina
thanks hon hope u come back

Sista GP
i know poor finger

Demon Hunter said...

Ah, Rich, thanks for clearing that up. Good job. I needed it broken down. :-D I've heard a lot of slang over the years, but this is new to me. :-)

dc_speaks said...

hahahahah..

this was right on point!

EXCELLENT!

enigma4ever said...

you are brilliant...this made me laugh...and at the same time nod,....and hell ...dream....

omg....

Undeniably...Deep aka Tina-B said...

Hell yeah I would vote for your sexy, intelligent behind(not the word I wanted to use, but it will suffice)...if it came to that.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

Demon Hunter
LMBAO


dc_speaks
glad i could brighten up your day


enigma4ever
thank u lol im f.lattered

Undeniably...Deep aka Tina-B
lol thanks for your vote lol

Sister Girl said...

Awww man,where do you get it ????

LOL...

T.

Motorcycle Fairings said...

very entertaining, keep posting!

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