Brain cells will collide

Had a dream last night. And folk here don’t dream much. Don’t know if I was on Meet the Press or at a presidential debate. Guess all yawl folk precariously (depending on uncertain premises) suggesting I be a candidate for the Presidency or even an advisor of some form. Any who, here goes the dream. First shouts out to Pretty Black Gold and At-alien (4 this pic of how I get down- an no I didn’t have my gat, it was at shop, sorry pretty black for when in Rome do as the Romans) for the love – or should I say brain or teeth lust. So there I was.

Soledad O’Brien: Your message is somewhat caustic and direct, how do you expect the electorate to befriend you?

Jones Here mane: Folk, I aint trying to be nobody’s friend, I’m trying to get they kids educated, learn and do math, stack some chump and love they neighbor as themselves, if that’s foul so be it, but best believe folk who out side these boundaries gone know jones here manner and have to deal with folk on the up and up, for real though.

Larry King: Yes Dr. Stephens...

Jones Here mane: T, T-Bone or All-mi-T, my momma aint name me Dr.

Larry King: Well T, to follow Soledad’s question, your message is intemperate. Have you ever thought you may be a little to direct for the voting public?

Jones Here Mane: Jones, mane, first of all, folk here aint steel, aint tempered, no maybe uncouth and uncultured but never tempered. The truth will set u free, free your mind and your ass will follow, and I don’t steal words, that’s from George Clinton

Jonas Goldberg: Dr. Stephens, you have referred to your opponents as having “explicative boy positions on the economy and have referred to their health care plans as being of the female dog gluteus maximus variety”, can you elaborate?

Well it aint rocket science [cell phone rings] Let me get this folk.

Cell Phone Conversation (Jones here Mane): Whad up Folk?......Naw mane, up in this debate folk, whad up though? Well Let me hit you back, I’m on TV mane…..No yawl don’t need to come up her, I’m straight…….Good look folk……Love you Jones.

Sorry, but in esoteric terms, albeit I do not have the desire to provide a locution leaning toward platonic rationalization, I feel that any economic position that does not express or explain why this country is slacking in contrast to other nations is feculent. Moreover, if it does not deal with the tenable interjection of the Amero in our future economy, it is just plane ole fuck boy talk – im sorry. With regards to my solution, you know me mane, education and manufacturing productivity. I have some slides of the stochastic projections of how it may look based on what is transacted in exchange of dollars when the new currency will be introduced but your producers would not allow me to use them or use a chalk board.

And true, all my candidates on this stage to me have never studied epidemiology, let alone public health, in particular as it is a function of the dollar bill and capitated health practices, so in summary if the shoe fits wear it.

Anderson Cooper: Dr. Stephens,….

Jones Here mane: Excuse me, but cant yawl ask these other mother fucas some questions Jones?

Anderson Cooper: If I may continue. With your positions, although believingly pragmatic and workable, how do you expect to carry the white vote, by all accounts you may be too frightening to many.

Jones Here mane: If I may be Anderson, I mean Frank, that’s one of the dumbest queries I have ever had directed to me. First I am a single parent of two and I don’t scare my kids, and Frankly, Anderson, I’d rather be with them if this wasn’t taking longer than your folk told me. Second, I fell the question should be objective, and it should be asked to my white counterparts. I have never heard you ask them about scaring the African American Vote, or about the white vote. What’s next, carrying the male vote. How you get on TV Jones….Don’t make me take my teeth out my mouth.

Anderson Cooper: Could you please answer the question?

Jones Here Mane: I answered it twice as well as added some additional innuendo for some sound bites, and I aint cuss.

Larry King: This is my last question. You are critical of the Current wars as well as the current administration how could you assure us that a similar quagmire would not be the legacy of your administration?

Jones Here Mane: Great question. I would like to point out grammatically speaking, could infers the conditional. So conditionally speaking I would take a different approach. Won’t send our folk to fight for us, Im head raw dawg. If we gotta problem with another country, best believe folk her gone represent, or DO his best. I will ask for 20 US citizens to volunteer to have my back, kick where ever we gotta jet to and just trust me, things will be handled for this republic as best I can and as best I see fit. Yo, can I break out in to my final statement? I gotta go get lil momma from the sitter and catch the last of my sons baseball game and cook dinner.

Moderator: If the other candidates don’t mind, we will make this exception.

Jones Here Mane: I would like to thank all yawl for hearing folk out. Especially all yawl news Jones asking me umpteen questions in a roll. Look at the others and look at me. I got your back, it aint about the loot, although I love the idea of free worldly travel, aint bout that either. I can handle mines mentally, astutely and even informed, without advisors unlike top dawgs in the past, but Im still gone have advisors. I aint gone try and hood wink yawl, I can do this, and truth be told, me against them will just be brain cell colliding at a disadvantage, for brain cell against brain cell, Ill smash am mother fucker any day. And I canrock a suit and make hot water cornbread too. Thank you

I woke up had to fix breakfast. We headed to the shop with a desire to sell stuff for dogs. Good lookin' and thanks for the dream, but I aint presidential material.