Check Mate

Sidebar 1: Sorry about not posting what I said I was gone post. It was based on a discussion I had with this chap while eating a BLT. He said he hated all Muslims and Arabs and called them stupid and asked if I agreed. So yawl know me, it resulted in a post for I write what I feel and think regarding what ever is on my mind.

Sidebar 2: Emory University Emergency Rooms are the shit. They got PCs in each room. And I was able to surf the web while I was there. Went last night about 9 ish. Lil momma has been recovering from a yeast infection and was scratching herself real bad. So since I promised her mother I’d take her I did. And the best thing, they gave me some free stuff to put on her for that night and this morning – no more scratching. I was scared cause they said she had t sleep with no panties and all I could imagine was a wet bed – but she didn’t. I tried to call her mother and tell her and text and left messages that were at the ER. She did not respond. So I figured her phone was dead, or she didn’t have it. But I did expect her to call, I mean wherever she was I’m sure they had a landline or cell phone. We stopped by her place around 1150pm; I wanted to leave her so I could finish pricing stuff at the shop. She wasn’t in. Maybe I expect too much.

Side Bar 3: Thanks to the folks at Pimpin Pens for the banner hey made for me.

Sidebar 4: I wonder how many of the folks in China complained about stuff and never counted their blessings, and how they feel now, if they are any of he many who have lost family members and their homes and are sitting outside in he rain after the earth quake

Saturday was an exceptional day. Although folk teeth were giving him problems and I had no loot in my pocket, I still got my shipment of this De-wormer in the mail as well as met a few more dog owners in the area. It was the weekend of the Sweet Auburn Festival and as such, I wrapped a sign around my daughters neck saying “BUY MY PAPPA’s BOOKS” and proceeded to sale 6. But it was only expected given it was the day before the day that humbles all with the effervescent spirit of mothers. Then Sunday wasn’t bad either. Got the mom’s day gifts off, bought Lil momma’s mom breakfast on behalf of her and even gave her a bottle of wine, on a Sunday on Georgia when they don’t ale liquor and I aint got none (fingers crossed). Add to that my Lil cousin graduated for Tuskegee University today and my mom, grandma, step sister and Gip came in town too.

A very needed reprise seeing that I had two days of stacking more than 900 lbs of dog food. But I did want to keep my promise, and get to the food for thought proffered by query for from Riddle me this. I asked the question to make sure I was not out of my mind. See as a man, I feel that our primary job description is to provide and as such we see the majority of our job description to our family and significant other as to provide protect and offer safety. And i dont beat women either, unless you consider slangin a woman to the flor who came after me with a knife abuse (I could have taken the knife and slit her throat but the man in me couldn't do such).

It may be foul on my behalf but that is what I believe, and that there is no reason or room for any one to complain, bitch fuss and bicker if the aforementioned is taking care of. I mean if I keep a roof over your head, keep clothes on your back, the bills paid, you with health insurance and food in your stomach and don’t beat you, there is not a mutha fiuckin reason for one to complain - woman, son or daughter - or any one living under my roof or any roof I pay for. Some may suggest this is a control issue, I say no, albeit I understand we are in America and that he who pays makes the rules.

But me, it’s a little deeper than that. Im trying to keep holding up and keep all of the real in place but most folks seem to not be in the same real world that I am in, the one where a gallon of milk is the same price as the gallon of gas. I feel for my work and proficiency, I should have someone, even if it is just my kids, have dinner cooked, the dishes washed or even a back rub ready for me - but I don’t. Another reason why today was exceptional (my mom came in and started cleaning up and better yet, friend pork chops. More importantly , offered me a drink. That’s why she the shit. I am not her man but she know how to motivate and keep and support one, even me as her son and my son as her grandson - that’s the shit.

I feel that a woman should be more than amenable to spending the night at my home and taking care of me, taking fat long dick and milking me all night if I need such to comfort me without . I feel that I should expect a back rub if she is in tune with me and appreciate and value what do.

So ladies I just want to say thank you for making me feel better, for making me feel that I don’t expect what is not earned and deserved. I mean so many men are fuck boy lame, cheating cant provide and foster constructive images for our family, which is my community. So thanks to you Keli for letting me know a man should expect for his woman” being there for him…supporting him…giving him props when he’s done good, but also giving constructive criticism when he does something out of line…I show him I love him by doing the little things.”

Thanks to you Tera for letting me know it is ok for a man to expect his woman to “compliment him where he is strong and supplement him where his is weak. And that you are a LOVER. I can be spontaneous, fun, and I have a sense of humor.... that you don’t mind making him “some collard greens, hot water cornbread, chops and homemade gravy on Sunday, burgers on the grill and baked beans on Monday...we might go out on Tuesday, but I can whip up some stuffed shells and garlic bread on Wednesday. Don't let Thursday roll around for some good fried chicken, fried corn, smashed potatoes and biscuits...or Friday we mellow out and order a pizza and have a nice glass of wine. Saturday, he might just want to wine and dine...or we can do a little all day bump & grind.”

Thank you Nina for letting me know its ok for me to expect my woman to do “all I can for him. I've come home dog dead tired and cooked for my partner, given excellent sex, and stuff."

Thanks Aunt Jackie for the honesty “how do I show my man I love him? same way as I was taught, f*ck and feed him. don't disrespect him in public, keep our shit private, work out our thing behind closed doors so we show a solid front when we leave the house, support him, listen to him, let him be a man and don't try to dominate or change him.”


Tia's Real Talk is saying “How do I love my man? By giving him all that he needs and some of what he wants. Think of him whenever I make a decision. Making sure he feels like a man at all times and never feels he is competing with me on who wears the pants. Reminding him often of how he makes me feel and how I appreciate him. Sometimes its in an email, text, picture or other married folk thangs. Knowing that men to need to vent and need a ear to just listen. Supporting all ideas even if I don't agree, and knowing the difference between the two And most of all making sure he wants to come home, and that home is a place he runs to and not from."

Blah Blah Blah, you represented too when you wrote “I do a million and one little things...and he can list them...right on down to the way I massage his shoulders without thinking about it, to letting him watch his bball while cooking and running in during half-time to suck his dick before the game comes back on, to remembering he has shirts in the cleaners and picking them up, to reading out loud to him from the Sunday paper as he cooks breakfast, to making sure I keep Italian ices in my freezer for his scooby snack after sex, to making sure I buy his favorite sheets in every color so he feels like he's floating when he sleeps, to making sure I've watched my ESPN to make sure our conversation flows...then letting him explain something to me even though I already know it...so it makes him feel like he has taught me something, to telling him I have no problem being the thunder to his lightening, and again...the list goes on.”

Veronica Wright (Hunnie), I see why your folk hugged up on you saying “.I would show a man that I love him by caring for him and doing the things that I know would please him. Being there just to be an ear if needed, rub his back, hot cooked food, give him good GOOOOOOOD lovin..lol, be the encourager and supporter of his goals/dreams/aspirations. Take the bad with the good, etc. Be....His....Help....Mate. Period.”

Lovebabz I can see you when you state “ I have shown my man that I loved him, by being a faithful and abiding wife. I have been generous in my spirit. I have greeted him with a smile and kind words. I have lovingly prepared meals and happily created a romantic space in which to express that love. There was no room for not showing love on my part. I happily choose to love the way that I do."

Ms. Ki, I can respect that to...”In showing a man that I love him. I pay attention to the little things. Cook his favorite food. Study up on the stats of his favorite team and athletes. Dedicate some time to the activities that he may enjoy that often fall on the backburner to the things I want to do.

Divine Perception, even better....”My man usually wants for nothing. I am not a mind reader so as long as he tells me what he wants/needs I act accordingly. There is a fine line, I will do what he asks most times as long as he is not taking me for granted. He also has to be willing to go out of his way for me as well.”

Brownsoul “ Now when it comes to showing love, well, there are obvious ways. But I don't consider that showing love as much as showing that I too am horny....My husband loves homecooked meals and when I'm feeling especially appreciative to have in my life and I want to show him that, I make an incredible meal for him complete with an after dessert foot rub.”

TheophaniaPaige ...“Feed him his favorite foods, do his hair, wash him, tell him how much he means to me and why I'm with him, etc. “

IVENTBYBLOGGING ...” I show my boo i love him by edifying-building him up. Telling him if he believe it he can achieve it, that I see greatness in him. I give him hand/arm & foot massages and watch him go to sleep. I tell him I love him everyday (even when I'd rather chew nails)...and I assure him with my words, that I'm not going anywhere. I encourage him in God...and tell him he will be the prophet, priest and king of our household when God brings us together as hubby/wife.....I also tell him I'm honored that God gave me him...an awesome gift that I will always treasure."

eve "I'd show him I loved him by hugging him, waiting up til late for him to get home, smiling at him, making stuff for him ..... "

yummy411 “showing my man that i love him? the little things, the sacrifice, putting my wants and needs aside to address his, making time for him in between the kids...love notes, phone calls, bringing home his favorite goodies."


Divine Blackness ...”Stand by him and let me know how much you love and appreciate him.”

How to show a man you don't love him.
Cut him off and move on with your life.

....I'm jus sayin'.

Professor...."...how do i show my man i love him? same way as i was taught, f*ck and feed him...THREE HOT AND A COT... don't disrespect him in public, keep our shit private, work out our thing behind closed doors so we show a solid front when we leave the house, support him, listen to him, let him be a man and don't try to dominate or change him..."

IntrospectiveGoddess ....“I show my man I love him by supporting him, listening to him and doing little things for him that he likes..like cooking little gifts and things”
professor "...how do i show my man i love him? same way as i was taught, f*ck and feed him...THREE HOT AND A COT... don't disrespect him in public, keep our shit private, work out our thing behind closed doors so we show a solid front when we leave the house, support him, listen to him, let him be a man and don't try to dominate or change him...

THE PRINCESS "CC" said...”I treat my man LIKE A KING, LITERALLY, what ever he wants, intimacy, emotionally, completely spoiled.”

So ladies, this post is to you who have restored my faith in feeling its ok for a man to desire what you say you offer, provide and give unconditionally. For I have no problem with providing, my momma always said give and ye shall receive, but she also said you can’t get blood from a turnip and that certain things are uncompromisable.

So I want to thank yawl for letting me know that you women know that saying you love someone is nothing – hat you show it. Thanks for being my Jesse Jackson (keeping my hopes alive) Thanks for letting me know that a few bad apples exist and that a real woman knows that a man that keeps a roof over their head, takes care of their children, keeps food in their stomach, pays for heir tuition and auto, who is here when they lock their keys in their car, kills bugs, takes out the trash, or who may even sacrifice having health insurance so they can have it, is something to be valued, respected appreciated, comforted, made love too and cherished – for so many men don’t. Thanks for letting me know to expect such is not unusual, for in the past I have been told such, even that black women don’t like sex, or a man that admits he desires comfort. Thanks for letting me know that I should not feel bad for believing I can go to my mate and tell her anything and expect her to listen and be there for me without saying whatever, or saying something is an argument because I say “no” or “I think”. Thanks for letting me know you see the 85 to 90 times I do things right, or is there for them, and that I try when I can’t that such is appreciated. thanks for letting me know that my work ethic and how hard I work to provide is worth a back rub or some head or some hot soup after I had major oral surgery.

Now I don’t feel bad for wishing I had someone to bring me soup when I got out of four hours of oral surgery; now I don’t feel bad for wishing I had someone to offer to and be waiting to rub my back after working hard all day; now I don’t feel bad for desiring someone to be there for me to depend on and lean on if I need such. Again, I am reassured, for I grew up playing chess along with other things, and if I could roll all of yawl into one incredible being, I’d close the game like Botvinnik used the French Defense.