Saturday, May 31, 2008
One that I have thought of recently in jest was Nella Larsen’s Quicksand and Passing (Looks like Cap-city huh). Nella Larsen (1891-1964) was a writer of the famed Harlem renaissance (yawl would love this book). She used vivid imagery and classic symbolism and penned stories of the 1920s on the issues of racial identity, classism, and sexuality and of particular importance, `passing,' – you know black folk light enough to pass for being white. I am reminded of this because I have wanted to get this off my chest for some while and because Former US congressman Bob Barr was selected by the Libertarian Party as its candidate for November's presidential election.
Historically, I have always had love for folk; he was never really GOP-esque if you looked at his voting record outside of the 2nd amendments. Not to mention his vehement protection of this amendment may be one of the factors that engendered me to me out side of being able to tell he was a well read mutha shut yo mouth.
Many in the GOP are upset because think it will do major damage to the candidacy of the Republican presupposed nominee John McCain. With them, I agree. Now back to the point. I have always looked and Jones on CSPAN and always felt he was a brother. From the way he spoke to the way his body motions evinced themselves. Now I am sure of it.
I think deep in his heart he is trying to help his race by taking votes away from McCain such to put his Brother, Barack Obama in the Whitehouse. Like I said before, I may either have too many brain cells or not enough. What says you on my recent dialectical rumination?
Sidebar: chk my folk out at Pimpin Pens, they did a tribute to me LOL
Blog Amnesty: Pimpin Pens, Eb, Jaybee, Urban Scientist, kawana oliver, 12kyle, emeritus, ErynMyisha, eclectik-relaxation, Lina, Kyfs, Dfitz, Zufan, Taffy, No Slappz, Kelso, immoral matriarch, Bookfraud, soul cruzer, memphiz soul, hairs my story, Dreamcop08, battle dress u, Love & Kiwi, mizz ninae, averge american patriot and no limit
Friday, May 30, 2008
Strange thing is that it is the only middle school in the county and that 78% of the students are African American.
Students have been punished for small dress code violations that are not even listed as violations such as having a shirt with missing buttons. When one student was allegedly refered to by a white student as a "black monkey", she told her teacher who in essence responded saying just sit down because you do look like a black monkey.
Again, Ironic aint it. Seem the more we progress as human beings, the more we stay the same. It appears that human nature cannot obviate that spirit that sides with evil that desires to hold folks back, or be envious or would rather focus on differences more than likeness. And of all places, in the city that was made famous by one book. One would suspect that such a place would have an added bonus to absolve such an historical past. And I know one should never kill a mocking bird, but maybe, mocking birds never die.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
house cleaning: 1] no computer or cell phone for past 2 days 2] Im easy, easy like sunday mornings, 3] Shouts out to Malik and his Brother Punch - their club opens friday.
Was at the shop from 830am to 830pm yesterday. Managed to give out wings to three angels. But I aint mad for things are moving along slowly but surely. Although I know readers may be tired of me reporting on my progress regarding getting this store for dogs off the ground, I am thinking this will be the last one for a while but I am excited and I still have a strong interest in economics.
So this is for all of those that respect and value intellectual prowess and astuteness over cognitive dissonance. As well it is for those who place passion over brain cells and those that placate their suffering with excuse upon excuse, upon excuse. In this new age of global economics and multilateralism, I have come to the conclusion that only those that will be able to eat will be the ones who can take care of themselves and who pay themselves. Having a job or sitting behind a desk just won cut it anymore. Let alone is such a path to financial stability or security. Sure, I had a desk job for man years and it paid well but only because I had the capacity to write fundable grants that allowed me to do what I wanted to do (work when I wanted, leave when I wanted and travel to
I started this effort with a dream for I feel that dreams do not become the person but rather people become their dreams. A dream and 40 stacks of my own loot, no loan, no business plan. Now the horizon is clearer, especially after talking to my boy Malik yesterday. He is opening a bar up right next to my boy’s bar (Mbar) on
After seeing the joint he asked me to have a drink with him. I did and waked and saw a cat that went to Morehouse with me. I try to introduce them and find out the cousins. After a while we all can back to my store. They bought books, dog food [Evangers Pheasant and Brown Rice] and treats. Just day two of having my doors open and almost $600. At this rate I can gross a stack every 4 to 5 days. This without weekends
Now I have to calibrate a way to maintain inventory based on sales and length of time for delivery. Yep 40 stacks up, one stack down and 39 to go to break even. Then my dreams of shops in Hilton Head and
And I feel good, I mean the community of my folk (young black male business men and fellow Morehouse alum) and how we are doing it. Not by making music talking about buss it babies, not by making TV shows or movies like the Flavor of Love or the Wire that spoon feed stupidity to plebeians that lack moral fiber and tend to display already poor judgment. Not by selling drugs, nope, with brain cells. For in the eye of the storm hope is born – here I am.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
2] I got 6 slabs of ribs for $14.95 Saturday.
I am at the shop now, waiting on a delivery of dog food and some more dog clothes. You know UPS, between 8 and 5. I slept well last night. I don’t know if it was the Tequila or the slab or ribs and half a loaf of white bread, but I slept well. Such wasn’t the case the night before.
Jones, Main, folk here couldn’t sleep at all. I felt like a kid waiting on the first day of school, or for the fictitious Sinter Klaus to come sliding down my chimney. I was waking up every hour looking at my cell phone to se if I had missed my alarm for Monday the 25th, II would open my store.
Although my bags, flyers or business cards were not in yet, I was ready. For all off that night, even though I don’t have an old school cash register, I was hearing cash register rings in my head. As such, I felt like I had been thrown back into “It’s a Wonderful Life”. You know the movie they play each Christmas with Jimmy Stewart in it. Especially the scene when he had lost everything and had met his angel and gone to the bar. The angel told the bar tender that each time a bell rings that an angel gets their wings.
I love that move. Reminds you that no matter what you do, folks will criticize and attempt to undermine you via deceit (the banker). Even through jealousy and envy. It shows that the best way to win or succeed is too turn the other cheek. It reminds us to always speak your mind and never stutter and to live by your own actions and control your reality. Guess it means that folk can bend but never bee broken.
For today, I’m gone be giving out wings too angels while the devil or any form of veiled evil creeps and lurks. Cha Ching.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
When I was a child, we used to say a lot of little sayings. The two I remember most are when a person wore red we would say “red, red pee in the bed, wash your face with cornbread” and “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me. So I decided to post the most painful statements that I can remember ever said to me.
8 – You may never walk again and your mouth will never be the same (Dr. After I was hit by a car while walking across the street).
7 – You are to bright to believe that people will want to read stories with black male characters that are smart, talk with that kind of vocabulary and come from the streets (Publisher from major imprint)
6 – You have to sign over the 75,000 to us or loose your job. You didn’t ask us for permission (Former Employer, Morehouse School of Medicine)
5 – X has been a better father to your son than you (former wife). Funny too because he has lived with me my entire life.
4 – You have to pick me or your son. I want to kill him and I hope he dies (former paramour who once lived with me).
3 – I lost it (2.5 carat engagement ring). Just buy me another one.
2 – The baby isn’t yours, its OT’s (well know married author). Said by person who said the aforementioned)
1 – You will never amount to anything and be nothing (Former High School teacher). BTW Whenever I go home I go to her office and tell them to say Dr. Stephens is here to see you. LOL
I guess the point is that I can forgive and I forgave all. But folks should never expect you to forget what you say to them, I don’t or can’t, do you? That’s why the pic me displaying a stab wound and a laceration by a knife. As long as I see them I wont forget but break my heart, say foul things to me, just don’t break my bones or cut me.
So with that said, all yawl friends and lovers and families be safe this weekend on your adventures, romantic escapades, canoe trips and visits to grand ma – me I got a dog store to get open. vote
Thursday, May 22, 2008
As I sit at home in my library I write this. To often, we fail to recognize via our selfish ways that each day we breathe or see the sun or rain that it is a gift. To often we miss out on accepting the beauty of the lives that we live and the bountiful blessings that we have for in our selfish ways, we think only of ourselves.
Today I have decided to live each day as my last, as if I have less than a year to live. I will get this business off the ground for the prosperity of my children. I will put in practice all involved in getting at least 5 books out before the end of the year. For I believe in creating my own reality and that time waits for no one and that if I think It I can do it – let it be written, let it be said, let it be done.
To many of us prefer to whine, cry, fuss, bicker and complain about shit that is really beyond out control. What we can control are our thoughts and as such, our dreams, which don’t mean jack if we don’t look forward and take the time to make them real. Too many of us segment our lives into years, days, months or even hours. Not folk hear, either I do it or I don’t. I won’t wait, I won wait for anything and if I want something or desire something best believe folk here will get it. We are not thankful for what we got.
I will not live my life to impress any one other than myself so when I die, I can say to myself that I was the truth. You see, I am observant, I walk around and see homeless folks pushing grocery baskets with their life belongings and I see the same folks sleeping under highways. When I go to a gas station, I may not like the high prices, but even without a job or income coming in I don’t fret. For I know I am not walking in a place where I have to worry about folk walking around with explosives tapped to their body that can take me and everybody else out. I know I am not sleeping in the rain after an earthquake because I lost my home. See I’m a realist and one living in a real world. So all I am saying is stop bitching when you don’t have if you cant acknowledge what you do have. Don’t wait or put things off, and certainly don’t make excuse, if you want something or some one get it. If you express desire show it and let nothing get in your way.
Sure voice what you believe you have earned and deserve. But when gifts are bestowed upon you, rather financial or in Idea, take advantage of the opportunity. Don’t complain or sulk. Get out and do. For if you wont do it for yourself nobody will. Not to mention when you have and don’t acknowledge such as a blessing, you become an adage – you don’t miss something until it’s gone
So this is for all yawl lame ass fakers (shit talkers) who say you want to start a business but are to scared to take your foot off of first base for you can not steal second without doing so. This is for all of you all who say or tell others you love them but don’t realize love is a verb, a corpus of actions that implicate such an expression. For those of you who say but do not place any action behind your words - true, the written word is powerful, but it is worthless without action. Don’t say you love me and send my son to war Mr. President, don’t say you love me and don’t comfort, kiss or assist me. Don’t say you want to write a book but don’t know what it takes to do such. Talk again is empty with out action. I don't care if it is a man or a woman you desire and you have one or a book you want to read. Live free or die. The present is a gift jones mane.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
My favorite indicator outside of my statements from my investments is the price of oil. Oil just hit the $130.00 a barrel mark today. Now I feel that the$150.00 mark will be just around the corner, maybe by the end of the summer or best the end of the year. If I were a commodities man, I’d lunge out there and say it is a good time to go long – maybe I should call my broker. I have read that folks are even purchasing oil futures almost a decade in advance.
What is really troubling, like I said were things that I use as indicators that I never have before like copper and wheat. Copper prices are climbing fast, so fast that even the Chinese government via the China's State Reserve Bureau (SRB) is trying to bring down prices to cover fast-approaching short positions. Especially since one usd = 8.1 yuan. But that is just the short of it. Over here, although historically copper, a vital and frequently overlooked metal, from an investment perspective, to me it’s just as good or like Gold. I mean of al the metals used it ranks third.
Don’t even mention that World food supplies are shrinking while the population worldwide is increasing. And don’t sleep, they all connected because higher food prices is are correlated directly with higher energy prices. And they way this sexless mind thinks, things can and will only get worse. And places like the Ukraine and the US are stock piling wheat now.
Monday, May 19, 2008
That said, this is for the men, even the lurkers, but I wont hate on any woman responding on behalf of her men – but not what you want, but actual behaviors evinced. So here goes.
1] How do you respond or feel when your favorite teams looses, to a rival or in a championship game like the Super Bowl (true I was reminded of Memphis – Kansas last night, guess I’m not over it)?
2] How do you live your life such to show your spiritual connection to a higher power?
3] How do you see your role as a father, and what does it mean to be a father to you?
4] If you are the single provider responsible for feeding, clothing, shelter or any other necessity or frivolous request for your family, how do you expect your woman, wife, son or/and daughter to show appreciation for such? Do you think they would reciprocate appreciation?
5] How do you define your role as a man to your family and what is the single most important aspect or act you can define in the capacity of fulfilling that role?
6] What would you not do for your wife, woman, son and/or daughter as the man of your household?
7] Is there a difference in how you express love (not sexually) to your woman or wife when compared to your son or daughter?
8] How do you describe the passion for a son’s love when compared to the passion for a daughter’s love?
9] What does it mean to be the man of the house and as being such, what appreciation and/or value to you expect to receive from your wife, woman, son and/or daughter?
10] How should your work ethic be appreciated or valued and reciprocated unto you by your wife, woman, son and/or daughter?
extra credit: How do you see and define your responsibility to your community?
Lets b honest
Sunday, May 18, 2008
I mean I guess the way I see myself is a lot differently than the way others see myself. I question this because I know what they mean in a slim fashion, but the anal pore in me want to be strict and note that folk here aint no man of the renaissance or period of reformation. In my research over the past night, I have discovered that they call such folk polymaths - a person who is skilled in multiple fields or multiple disciplines, and who has a broad base of knowledge.
Not to mention, the people I consider renaissance men, I couldn’t hold toilet paper to wipe their butts. Folk like Fredrick Douglass, Voltaire, Winston Churchill, Voltaire, Ida B Wells (I know she aint no man), Chekih Anta Diop, Imhotep, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and Martin Luther King Jr. To me they are folk like the illegitimate son of a man living in Vinci, Italy, Leonardo Da Vinci. They say his genius was very apparent by the age of 15. He was basically self taught via reading. The only thing I see that we have in common is that from “Between 1490 and 1495 he developed his habit of recording his studies in meticulously illustrated notebooks. His work covered four main themes: painting, architecture, the elements of mechanics, and human anatomy.” I just wish, as he did, that I could have met Niccolo Machiavelli, author of "The Prince."
Charles Van Doren asserted that a “Renaissance man is neither an expert nor a specialist. He or she knows more than just a little about "everything" instead of knowing "everything" about a small part of the entire spectrum of modern knowledge. The term is essentially ironic, for it is universally believed that no one really can be a Renaissance man in the true meaning of the term, since knowledge has become so complex that no human mind is capable of grasping all, or even a large part, of it.”
I just think being a hard worker and a risk taker would be more appropriate than Renaissance man. But as blog culture dictates, i'm finna ask yawl. What is a renaissance man? How do they differ from a genius? Who would you consider and do you know any folks that would fit that category in your immediate circles? And do I fit the worth of being venerated Homo Universalis?
SIDE BAR: I have been hood winked by a fellow Morehouse Alum, Kevin Ross, to be on his talk radio show, which I think airs on NPR too. The show will air next Wednesday and the topics they want me to discuss (lmbao) will include the White Morehouse valedictorian, gay marriage in light of the California Supreme Court ruling yesterday, 2008 Democratic Presidential election results, and cougars (older women hooking up with younger men - i.e. Mariah Carey). George Alexander, editor-at-large of Black Enterprise and a fellow Morehouse man, will be joining us!
I just wish we could talk about the war and the economy.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Profiling is a strange and tricky subject. We are all profiled in certain ways. Women are often profiled. I can only imagine what it may be like to walk in a bar or happy hour and see al these goons starring at specified apportionments of ones anatomy over ones eyes. Now don’t get me wrong. I mean I attend to observations that outline in layman terms as a phat azz azz, and that such will leave an imprint as operationalized by Konrad Lorenz and his work with Graylag Geese, but I don’t have to gawk for the eyes are even more so appropriate to gaze into as well as show value and respect.
Then there is what I am familiar with, racial profiling. I get this all the time, not just by twelve, but people also. They look at my face and proceed to think I maintain the possibility of a criminal disposition. They see my hair and are even brazen enough to ask if I sell weed or if I am a musician. Even worse, they ask if they can touch it as if they were petting a goat in the public zoo.
Believe it or not I can deal wit he later, but there is one type of profiling that slides well subaltern the radar. I have decided to call it educational profiling. As a man, a man of African descent, I have been blessed to obtain what many would consider the highest merit in Academia – a terminal degree. If I am not in one of the times when I tell them I do construction work, I sometimes say I am an infectious disease specialist, an associate professor with a PHD in the appropriate discipline.
Sometimes their look alters, but from that moment on, when a person find out I have a PHD, they start to profile me. They beginning to ask why didn’t I introduce myself as such, or say Dr. Stephens. I respond, “My momma named me Torrance, not doctor.”
They think hat the addition of three letters behind your name or two in front makes you different. In the same way it makes folks who are Islamic different in America or African American males, driving on the highway different and warranting more scrutiny. They have expectations, of being snappy, boastful and pedantic. They see them as being intellectual astute, competent, and maybe even well to do. It is a burden I don’t like. Just because I display accomplishment ex post facto hard work, discipline and patience.
The place you above what you are and where come from and act as if magically being a Dr (what ever that is) makes you automatically smarter, more important and beneficial than the average person. The answer is NO we are not. True, I got some colleagues that think they the smartest person in the world, and even with a PHD introduce themselves as Dr. They may not even be tight, or worse got their PHD when they stopped being proficient in a foreign language. That took about 65% of the folks who were in class with me. Truth is they may be actually dim, poor read and even unversed in the scientific literature or their field. Scary to me, and don’t even ask them about their research or publication record, don’t exist. Then these be the loudest ones bragging. But at any case.
Next time you meet someone or know up front but their terminal illness called a doctorate, see if you change how you see them or compare them to another standard. See if you profile folks too. Like I said, my momma aint name me doctor nor did getting one make me more smarter if I had not. And al the degrees I have worked had for, that Hamilton High School Diploma, followed by Morehouse mean the most.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Today seems that the value for education has diminished greatly, and that the transformation of values as such has turned for the worse. I had conversation with my folk this morning about his. As usual we saw this from different angles. He suggested that the values have not changed; it was that people tended to finish college but would still have no job, so I was not as important as it used to be in past days. My position was not based on securing jobs, but rather the value of pedagogy in general.
Although I do not remember the time when my mom and her siblings went to school, I do remember seeing pictures. First it had to be hell and high water for them to miss a day in school and second they always had books in their hands.
My grandma would always say she never went to school. She had to work and getting married at sixteen meant she placed her family first. But this was in the late 1930s – a few decades before Brown versus the Topeka Board of education.
Today, it seems to be just different. Told him that 70% of the young African American males that enter the 9th grade wont graduate or finish school with their peers. That means that only 3 out of ten graduate high school, at least on time. Because of this 70 percent, nearly 80 percent eventually drop out.
I consider this foul on two fronts. First is our disposition and concern of materialism in the form of objects versus what one produces with his mind. Add to that our inability to want to work hard and delay gratification for the attainment of easy money. The last front is governmental, being that more money is spent on subsidies for oil companies, big business and given to places like Israel and Pakistan than is spent on education with respect to our public schools and the pay of teachers and institutions of higher learning with the reduction of grants, student aid and loans for those interested in college.
Again, I’m just venting, and sad. I used to hate being one of the two or three African American male professors at Emory University. I felt like I had to represent all of the African American men in the world and could only kick it with the building and grounds crew outside of the two aforementioned professors. In my book, this 70 is not a C, but really an F.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
I just want to remind folks that aint nothing has changed, except we are myopic, and maybe more interested in folks in suites (Hillary included) running for political office than the fact that folks are still returning home in plastic bags or maybe even alive, with their leg or arm lost some where on a road in a place called Kirkuk or Kabuoom or Mosul or Tikrit. I would even speculate that most of us couldn’t name five cities out side of the capitals of both countries le alone tell which of the aforementioned is not in Iraq. But our self-induced ignorance is a divagation I will save for another day.
Maybe our nescience is why we don’t notice or hear about Osama bin Muhammad bin 'Awad bin Laden anymore. The way they talked him up, you would have though Jones was the New Dillinger or Baby Face Nelson – public Enemy number one. I don’t even see his picture up in Post Offices. Once upon a time I did.
I just wonder why? I wonder if he is even mentioned in the back rooms of the Pentagon or White House any more. All I know is that we have not found him but boasted we will. This is not a slap in the face of our military personnel. Nope we have some of the bravest, smartest and efficient service men and women in the world and will forever have such. They carry out their task with expert precision and do it with out one complaint. Yes, they are true professionals, more so that I. However, I do wish they had some help on the behalf of military intelligence. Makes me think that the combination of both words is an oxymoron.
I know some folks say all black folk look a like, maybe the same is true for Arabs and Muslims, maybe this is why they have yet to locate Osama. Then we know that Osama Jones is hiding in a remote region of Afghanistan, maybe even Pakistan. Both of which are places where we have goo-gobs of military personnel and the assistance of folk who supposed to be our allies.
Maybe I am wrong. But I don’t think so. Like I said, the folk we have fighting on our behalf are smart, very smart. But military intelligence, the question is still up for grabs to me. I mean it did take them about 5 years to find Eric Rudolph and we knew where he was plus he was state side. It also took them 11 years to find the Uni bomber. Maybe I just think too much and just need to stop and have me a shot of Tequila with hot sauce.
Little moma has a chair. She put's it in front of the door and waves and says hello to all that pass. All she need is a Shot Gun (Her job description also includes sweeping and breaking merchandise - only once). It great having a family business. Lil Daddy comes from School and helps with inventory and pricing.
Still More Dogfood. Waiting on my clothes and my dog t-shirts and wife beaters.
My Granny and momma were here for a day Mother's day. My lil cuz raduated rom Tuskeggee
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Sidebar 2: Emory University Emergency Rooms are the shit. They got PCs in each room. And I was able to surf the web while I was there. Went last night about 9 ish. Lil momma has been recovering from a yeast infection and was scratching herself real bad. So since I promised her mother I’d take her I did. And the best thing, they gave me some free stuff to put on her for that night and this morning – no more scratching. I was scared cause they said she had t sleep with no panties and all I could imagine was a wet bed – but she didn’t. I tried to call her mother and tell her and text and left messages that were at the ER. She did not respond. So I figured her phone was dead, or she didn’t have it. But I did expect her to call, I mean wherever she was I’m sure they had a landline or cell phone. We stopped by her place around 1150pm; I wanted to leave her so I could finish pricing stuff at the shop. She wasn’t in. Maybe I expect too much.
Side Bar 3: Thanks to the folks at Pimpin Pens for the banner hey made for me.
Sidebar 4: I wonder how many of the folks in China complained about stuff and never counted their blessings, and how they feel now, if they are any of he many who have lost family members and their homes and are sitting outside in he rain after the earth quake
A very needed reprise seeing that I had two days of stacking more than 900 lbs of dog food. But I did want to keep my promise, and get to the food for thought proffered by query for from Riddle me this. I asked the question to make sure I was not out of my mind. See as a man, I feel that our primary job description is to provide and as such we see the majority of our job description to our family and significant other as to provide protect and offer safety. And i dont beat women either, unless you consider slangin a woman to the flor who came after me with a knife abuse (I could have taken the knife and slit her throat but the man in me couldn't do such).
It may be foul on my behalf but that is what I believe, and that there is no reason or room for any one to complain, bitch fuss and bicker if the aforementioned is taking care of. I mean if I keep a roof over your head, keep clothes on your back, the bills paid, you with health insurance and food in your stomach and don’t beat you, there is not a mutha fiuckin reason for one to complain - woman, son or daughter - or any one living under my roof or any roof I pay for. Some may suggest this is a control issue, I say no, albeit I understand we are in America and that he who pays makes the rules.
But me, it’s a little deeper than that. Im trying to keep holding up and keep all of the real in place but most folks seem to not be in the same real world that I am in, the one where a gallon of milk is the same price as the gallon of gas. I feel for my work and proficiency, I should have someone, even if it is just my kids, have dinner cooked, the dishes washed or even a back rub ready for me - but I don’t. Another reason why today was exceptional (my mom came in and started cleaning up and better yet, friend pork chops. More importantly , offered me a drink. That’s why she the shit. I am not her man but she know how to motivate and keep and support one, even me as her son and my son as her grandson - that’s the shit.
I feel that a woman should be more than amenable to spending the night at my home and taking care of me, taking fat long dick and milking me all night if I need such to comfort me without . I feel that I should expect a back rub if she is in tune with me and appreciate and value what do.
So ladies I just want to say thank you for making me feel better, for making me feel that I don’t expect what is not earned and deserved. I mean so many men are fuck boy lame, cheating cant provide and foster constructive images for our family, which is my community. So thanks to you Keli for letting me know a man should expect for his woman” being there for him…supporting him…giving him props when he’s done good, but also giving constructive criticism when he does something out of line…I show him I love him by doing the little things.”
Thanks to you Tera for letting me know it is ok for a man to expect his woman to “compliment him where he is strong and supplement him where his is weak. And that you are a LOVER. I can be spontaneous, fun, and I have a sense of humor.... that you don’t mind making him “some collard greens, hot water cornbread, chops and homemade gravy on Sunday, burgers on the grill and baked beans on Monday...we might go out on Tuesday, but I can whip up some stuffed shells and garlic bread on Wednesday. Don't let Thursday roll around for some good fried chicken, fried corn, smashed potatoes and biscuits...or Friday we mellow out and order a pizza and have a nice glass of wine. Saturday, he might just want to wine and dine...or we can do a little all day bump & grind.”
Thank you Nina for letting me know its ok for me to expect my woman to do “all I can for him. I've come home dog dead tired and cooked for my partner, given excellent sex, and stuff."
Thanks Aunt Jackie for the honesty “how do I show my man I love him? same way as I was taught, f*ck and feed him. don't disrespect him in public, keep our shit private, work out our thing behind closed doors so we show a solid front when we leave the house, support him, listen to him, let him be a man and don't try to dominate or change him.”
Tia's Real Talk is saying “How do I love my man? By giving him all that he needs and some of what he wants. Think of him whenever I make a decision. Making sure he feels like a man at all times and never feels he is competing with me on who wears the pants. Reminding him often of how he makes me feel and how I appreciate him. Sometimes its in an email, text, picture or other married folk thangs. Knowing that men to need to vent and need a ear to just listen. Supporting all ideas even if I don't agree, and knowing the difference between the two And most of all making sure he wants to come home, and that home is a place he runs to and not from."
Blah Blah Blah, you represented too when you wrote “I do a million and one little things...and he can list them...right on down to the way I massage his shoulders without thinking about it, to letting him watch his bball while cooking and running in during half-time to suck his dick before the game comes back on, to remembering he has shirts in the cleaners and picking them up, to reading out loud to him from the Sunday paper as he cooks breakfast, to making sure I keep Italian ices in my freezer for his scooby snack after sex, to making sure I buy his favorite sheets in every color so he feels like he's floating when he sleeps, to making sure I've watched my ESPN to make sure our conversation flows...then letting him explain something to me even though I already know it...so it makes him feel like he has taught me something, to telling him I have no problem being the thunder to his lightening, and again...the list goes on.”
Veronica Wright (Hunnie), I see why your folk hugged up on you saying “.I would show a man that I love him by caring for him and doing the things that I know would please him. Being there just to be an ear if needed, rub his back, hot cooked food, give him good GOOOOOOOD lovin..lol, be the encourager and supporter of his goals/dreams/aspirations. Take the bad with the good, etc. Be....His....Help....Mate. Period.”
Lovebabz I can see you when you state “ I have shown my man that I loved him, by being a faithful and abiding wife. I have been generous in my spirit. I have greeted him with a smile and kind words. I have lovingly prepared meals and happily created a romantic space in which to express that love. There was no room for not showing love on my part. I happily choose to love the way that I do."
Ms. Ki, I can respect that to...”In showing a man that I love him. I pay attention to the little things. Cook his favorite food. Study up on the stats of his favorite team and athletes. Dedicate some time to the activities that he may enjoy that often fall on the backburner to the things I want to do.
Divine Perception, even better....”My man usually wants for nothing. I am not a mind reader so as long as he tells me what he wants/needs I act accordingly. There is a fine line, I will do what he asks most times as long as he is not taking me for granted. He also has to be willing to go out of his way for me as well.”
Brownsoul “ Now when it comes to showing love, well, there are obvious ways. But I don't consider that showing love as much as showing that I too am horny....My husband loves homecooked meals and when I'm feeling especially appreciative to have in my life and I want to show him that, I make an incredible meal for him complete with an after dessert foot rub.”
TheophaniaPaige ...“Feed him his favorite foods, do his hair, wash him, tell him how much he means to me and why I'm with him, etc. “
IVENTBYBLOGGING ...” I show my boo i love him by edifying-building him up. Telling him if he believe it he can achieve it, that I see greatness in him. I give him hand/arm & foot massages and watch him go to sleep. I tell him I love him everyday (even when I'd rather chew nails)...and I assure him with my words, that I'm not going anywhere. I encourage him in God...and tell him he will be the prophet, priest and king of our household when God brings us together as hubby/wife.....I also tell him I'm honored that God gave me him...an awesome gift that I will always treasure."
eve "I'd show him I loved him by hugging him, waiting up til late for him to get home, smiling at him, making stuff for him ..... "
yummy411 “showing my man that i love him? the little things, the sacrifice, putting my wants and needs aside to address his, making time for him in between the kids...love notes, phone calls, bringing home his favorite goodies."
Divine Blackness ...”Stand by him and let me know how much you love and appreciate him.”
How to show a man you don't love him.
Cut him off and move on with your life.
....I'm jus sayin'.
Professor...."...how do i show my man i love him? same way as i was taught, f*ck and feed him...THREE HOT AND A COT... don't disrespect him in public, keep our shit private, work out our thing behind closed doors so we show a solid front when we leave the house, support him, listen to him, let him be a man and don't try to dominate or change him..."
IntrospectiveGoddess ....“I show my man I love him by supporting him, listening to him and doing little things for him that he likes..like cooking little gifts and things”
professor "...how do i show my man i love him? same way as i was taught, f*ck and feed him...THREE HOT AND A COT... don't disrespect him in public, keep our shit private, work out our thing behind closed doors so we show a solid front when we leave the house, support him, listen to him, let him be a man and don't try to dominate or change him...
THE PRINCESS "CC" said...”I treat my man LIKE A KING, LITERALLY, what ever he wants, intimacy, emotionally, completely spoiled.”
So ladies, this post is to you who have restored my faith in feeling its ok for a man to desire what you say you offer, provide and give unconditionally. For I have no problem with providing, my momma always said give and ye shall receive, but she also said you can’t get blood from a turnip and that certain things are uncompromisable.
So I want to thank yawl for letting me know that you women know that saying you love someone is nothing – hat you show it. Thanks for being my Jesse Jackson (keeping my hopes alive) Thanks for letting me know that a few bad apples exist and that a real woman knows that a man that keeps a roof over their head, takes care of their children, keeps food in their stomach, pays for heir tuition and auto, who is here when they lock their keys in their car, kills bugs, takes out the trash, or who may even sacrifice having health insurance so they can have it, is something to be valued, respected appreciated, comforted, made love too and cherished – for so many men don’t. Thanks for letting me know to expect such is not unusual, for in the past I have been told such, even that black women don’t like sex, or a man that admits he desires comfort. Thanks for letting me know that I should not feel bad for believing I can go to my mate and tell her anything and expect her to listen and be there for me without saying whatever, or saying something is an argument because I say “no” or “I think”. Thanks for letting me know you see the 85 to 90 times I do things right, or is there for them, and that I try when I can’t that such is appreciated. thanks for letting me know that my work ethic and how hard I work to provide is worth a back rub or some head or some hot soup after I had major oral surgery.
Now I don’t feel bad for wishing I had someone to bring me soup when I got out of four hours of oral surgery; now I don’t feel bad for wishing I had someone to offer to and be waiting to rub my back after working hard all day; now I don’t feel bad for desiring someone to be there for me to depend on and lean on if I need such. Again, I am reassured, for I grew up playing chess along with other things, and if I could roll all of yawl into one incredible being, I’d close the game like Botvinnik used the French Defense.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Now having a total dislike for ones government and their policies is on thing, but a group of people for their beliefs, or because their beliefs are juxtapose to ours is plane old foul.
I know some would say that these are folks that will send women and children, with bombs around their bodies to blow up innocent people. True, But I recall that her in this country, the same occurred, when General Amherst gave Indians blankets infected with Small Pox. Now we over here venerate Jones and have even named a prestigious university after him and a major city in New York. Although Jeffery was officially an English Lord by my recollection of history, he was the one that first introduced germ warfare. I know of this via reading Carl Waldman's Atlas of the North American Indian. In the book, while referencing a siege of Fort Pittsburgh by Chief Pontiac's in1763, he pointed out that General Amherst had via letter, suggested to Captain Simeon Ecuyer to give the Indians smallpox-infected blankets and handkerchiefs (BTW this started an epidemic among them
I can continue and I will because the Indian Boarding Schools were just as bad as the schools we criticize in Saudi Arabia. They were designed to mandate forced assimilation as well as destroy the culture of native Americans – it was always funny to me how a person can discover a place where people already live, talk about arrogance. These schools too were made popular by another American historic Icon of sorts - Richard Henry Pratt. Pratt started the Carlisle Indian School in 1879 and set the standards for such schools to follow. And just like the Muslims abroad, here Christian denominations were allowed to build them on reservations (thanks to another hero’s peace plan - Ulysses S. Grant).
And like the Christian’s were with Africans, their Christian like nature tended to display act more akin to: physical, mental, and emotional abuse that often resulted in death. From promoting poor sanitation and hygiene to washing Indian children in kerosene to prove their point – whit is the only way and right.
They would cut their long hair – the main reflection of their culture pride) had to where the clothes of the “white man.” But I imagine the worse thing was being bound and beaten or even burned for speaking their language. And I won’t even mention slaves. But if there is a point I am trying to make is, don’t be so hateful for others because they are different and don’t let the beliefs of a few produce generalizations to all. More importantly, don’t have double standards, be two faced or speak with a forked tongue for we all have dirt behind our ears.
Friday, May 09, 2008
She was the one who brought me comic books everyday from work at St. Joseph Hospital as the only Black Chief dietician in the city of Memphis, and the first for a major hospital. She was the one who brought me test tubes and lab equipment from other black men who did such at the hospital and got them to let me sit in on their test and experiments when I was in grade school. She was the one who told me that they Brought Martin Luther King Jr to her hospital in a Wonder Bread truck so folks wouldn’t try to mutilate his body. It was these women who taught me how to treat and value a woman, even if they could not do the same - talking about character.
Yep, a mom’s love. You mother’s are the shit. You never place yourself or anything above your children and family. I would give yawl all flowers, so just take this pic of the Verbena growing in my yard as a token of my respect for you all - yep folk here grow flowers. No, you are not baby momma’s just as I am not a baby daddy. You give us the precious intricacies in a cellular form that become children. You bless us with the ability to maintain a pleasant disposition in torrid times. Yes you give us life for you are the Earth, just as mother nature is the earth
So I just wanted to take this chance to toast to you, my breakfast of champions, tequila with a shot of hot sauce in honor of yawl. I have got my mom and last grandmother living cards today. For me and my kids. I have gotten both of my kids mother cards and gifts, although my son’s mom has never given me a fathers day card nor Christmas gift since we went our separate ways, and my daughters mother would not even call me last year on fathers day to let her daughter wish me such while I was in Quebec City, Quebec. But that is neither here nor there for they gave me the greatest gifts any man can cherish. Which means I will be indebted to them always.
They do not dictate what is great and that which should be cherished buy one who came from a mother, no, such is concomitant of my heart and respect and appreciation for the gifts they gave me that hold and hug and kiss and laugh with me; that call me pappa. The are mother's an can never be worthy of anything less as such. So happy mother’s day (especially to momma, granny, Fallon, Sue, Aunt Cecelia, Aunt Trevor,my cousin Monique, my uncle's wife phylis, aunt joyce, grandma Pee wee, Momma-D, and Angie). I love you all.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Why is or what is that makes one thinks than women appear to prefer thugs over brains or scholars for lack of a better word? And would you want your daughter to date a thug? Why or why not?
What is your definition of selfish and what is a selfish person?
Food for Sunday’s post. Ladies, how do you show your man you love him and how do you show you don’t?
should i do an ask me anything post?
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Any who, since a black man broke, I have been ruminating on the state of gasoline. The strange thing is about 10 years ago we did a song called GAS HIGHA DAN A MUTHA FUKA.
But I really believe that in the next two years the price of Crude Oil will be hovering around $200 a barrel. Why do I suspect such? Well several reasons. The first is the weak and inflated and the non-recession proof dollar. The second is based on folks who hate us with a passion like Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Jones be talking like a real trooper, but I can’t blame him, I mean if I hated a country with a passion that basically treated my people like step children, I would use oil as an instrument of war also (African Nation take a hint).
Now I’m certain that we may be able to buffer such a price if we sought other fuel sources or did not attempt to invade another arab countries (IRAQ). Although I think invading Is an impossibility under new leadership with the Exception of John McCain, GWB, may decide to do such if he aint got no blow to toot.
Yep, and the concern is that it may be an option if the current president of these United States of America desires to flex his geopolitical muscle. We have insisted on such by having policies (NAFTA, repealing Glass-Stegall) that have aided in the fall of the dollar - declined by about 15 percent in 12 months. And OPEC nations know this. Why, cause they losing loot. If OPEC takes this approach, then I figure the only thing next is the fall of the US economy. I mean let us be for real, oil was about$40 a barrel in May 2005.
This means no more me and you if you asked me, which you didn’t, the end of the middle class for real. But then again, I’m just a mutha fucaka who thinks, who reads and is cursed with an IQ of 185 as if it means I cant count to 186 - but ton’t worry, I made 690 on my SAT. But it is hard not feeling like Magnentius, who in 365 (or was it 350 , I forget) ACE who was proclaimed of the ruler of the Roman Empire after the assignation of Constans, when he felt like he was the shit. I hope I am not the shit and what I postulate remains mere rumination.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Now, I apologize about the gushy lovey dovey stuff on the last two post, but as yawl know, folk here write about what ever is on his mind. This means as today, I can post one of the numerous tractates I have penned over the past few weeks in the lulls in which play-off basketball games are not on. I wanted to put this up a few weeks ago, but today is as good a day as any.
If you didn’t know, I’m a trained scientist, a research scientist. And not to be a pedantic about it, in all honesty I am pretty thorough at such. So much that I write about it for my peers and the world. Last year I posted a piece that I wrote in 1992 when Bill Clinton made an apology for the Tuskegee Experiment. I wont go into detail about it, but it is something that we should all know about. At the time it was the main op-ed that ran in this news weekly called Creative Loafing. I posted it last year because it was the 10 year anniversary of Clinton’s apology. My piece was called Apology not accepted.
Although I know folk still look at me and mine as no more than Fisher-499 rats, I did think all the experimenting on us was over. Over the past few years, in Baltimore, some of my associates (I am ashamed to say) were conducting experiments using federal loot via the Housing and Urban Development Department. Now this is not the kicker, they published their research in 2005 in Science of the Total Environment. Yawl know me, I call names and they are: Mark Farfel, Anna Orlova, Rufas Chaney, Peter Lees, Charles Rohde and Peter Ashley.
They were given $446,231 grant for the two-year study to circulate shit, I mean a mixture of human and industrial wastes on yards in poor and all black neighborhoods in Baltimore. No hypothesis really, they just wanted to see if such could be a protective factor against lead poisoning in children (really just African American children).
What really bothers me as a scientist is that I cant find no mention, no evidence that they conducted any type of medical or health evaluation with these folks after the study was completed. My folk at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health considers this all as just “unfavorable publicity". This is one of the main reasons I wanted to be a scientist, so I could define me via research and conduct research for the benefit and protection of folk like myself.
I would tell you the theoretical chemistry behind their experiment but it is a waste of time not to add insensate. Now I’m gonna have to have more of my tax money come out my pocket because the three ring circus we call congress wants to hold hearings. Why, what else can the hear, my fault, its an election year.
To me they saying we aint shit, or worth shit, just lab rats. This si coming from a scientist. This is also why I have never apprectaied or respected Bill Clinton's bitch ass. Yea folk, I recant in your apology, never again would anything like this happen in America. Well it did and still does.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
MrsGrapevine asserted that men do not have such because we “have beauty queen contestants, models, video "vixens", Martha Stewart, and all these fake.” I agree completely, but still I had never searched for a perfect mate ever, only a woman that made my heart boil - albeit i have a penchant for commitment. So I started to think. I do recall that as I child I only desired a woman in terms of occupation. In fact up until jr. high, I stilled wanted her to be a super hero. From as far I can recant, from early childhood, I also desired for my mate to be a scientist, so we could explore and blow-up shit together in bliss. I too gave that up.
But up until I read the comments to this post, I had never thought about describing or labeling the perfect mate for me. So via soul searching, I have decided to describe her in accordance with one of my favorite songs by Aretha Franklin. Yep, I want a Do Right All Day Woman.
I mean, since women (or men) aint like cereal boxes where you can read what you getting with each serving before you buy it, I think that title suits the woman I desire. I think in some form or fashion, from Lolita Smith (5th grade) to Yodi and Monique Williams, to my son’s Mom and Fallon, all of these women had great qualities and bad ones - just as I do. That’s what made them special to me. None were complete and I didn’t expect them to be. I expected and understood that relationships were a growing deal and that they required hard work and maintaining like an old house or car.
To me a Do Right All Day woman is a person you can depend on, a friend first and a staunch critique of you as an individual. They want to maximize the utility of your performance. They care about you and things you love as you do. They are dependable and will love your kids and family as their own. They don’t take no mess when it comes to their man and family. In addition, she never makes excuses for what she does or did not do. A Do right all day woman is a hard worker, doesn’t expect handouts, cherishes each day of her life and is committed to WE and never is selfish or look at herself as me, I or my. They are faithful, honest and more importantly unconditional in giving and accepting love for they know they are earth, the givers of life and the true queen that a man would desire as a mother, wife, lover, sister or friend.
Now I know I still have some standards that may not be available on today’s market, and leg-blocking still remains a no no in my book. But in short, ladies you are right and wrong, I want a do right all day woman, cause im a do right all night man.
Friday, May 02, 2008
I know men have their dreams of the perfect mate, however, we are not raised to look for a princess charming, nor are we raised to seek the ubiquitous doctor or Lawyer for a mate; or as it is nowadays, a rapper, professional athlete or movie star.
I think this syndrom does noting for positive relationships. In fact it does the opposite, it places fictitious standards on real life such that many are blinded by ones accomplishments and material attainment more so than the character, integrity of actual substance of the man - which in all actually define a man.
Personally, I can cut the Prince charming cake. I have meet women who were more enamored with me having a PhD than the person I attempt to be. The problem most women I meet is that they thing Jones here is a regular mutha fucka. But I aint, I consider myself the truth. Many say they like a man with family values or a family man but will turn around and say that you spend too much time with your kids. Others will say they like a man who is well endowed in the manhood department, but will complain and say that one is too big. They may say the like a man with some street acumen but suggest the folk you hang with - your friends, are too dangerous. Or worse, that they like a man who can cook, but indicate that you are trying to get them fat. So what gives?
Again like I said just a simple query. If there is a woman that desires me to be her prince charming, they better go else where for I am not prince charming, I am Torrance Stephens, a man, and more importantly, a human being.